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"JAB SE WO AYI HAI MERI ZINDAGI ME...............a shayri for her......with u always.
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Dhaval
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Thumbs up "JAB SE WO AYI HAI MERI ZINDAGI ME...............a shayri for her......with u always. - 18th October 2006, 01:55 PM

Kuch suj nahi raha tha bechen sa dil tha mera,
Par dil ne chen paya ,jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Lamhe bitata tha main yun tanha akele yaha.
Usko hi sath pata hu, jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Uske bina ab main akele reh nahi pata yaha,
Khud se bate karta hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Yun sochta na tha hamesha kisike liye main,
Ab main sochne laga hu,jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Ankho ko pehle adat na thi kisiko dekhne ki,
Bndh ankho se use dekhta hu,jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Main ek rahi tha pehle bina mazil ka yaha,
Khud ko mazil ke sath pata hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Koi mayine nahi rakhta tha pyar mere liye pehle,
Pyar ki ehmiyat ab janta hu ,jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Apne ap mehi khoya rehta tha main pehle,
Khud ko uske bin tanha pata hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Kisike liye kuch mangta nahi tha khuda se pehle,
Uske liye har khusi manga tu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me







A SHAYRI FOR HER............................................... ...



jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me............


*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
   
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pooja_d
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18th October 2006, 02:13 PM

hmmmm, to dhaval ji kami hai isme mujhe laga. apne sher ki last line kitni lambi kar di yaar. aap "jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me" ise chhota karne ke liye un bhi likh sakte thhe "jabse aai vo jivan me" ye to thhoda chhota hai........age se aap khayal rakhenge sher ki lambai ka ok...galtiyan baar baar na doharana..... apko parhke achha laga..........ok ji

grazie

aapki dost
pooja


===========Deepika===========
Pyaar Hai Yaa sazaa ayi mere Dil bataa
Toot'ta Kyu.N naHi.N Dard Kaa Silsilaa
   
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sunita thakur
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18th October 2006, 05:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhavalrami4you View Post
Kuch suj nahi raha tha bechen sa dil tha mera,
Par dil ne chen paya ,jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Lamhe bitata tha main yun tanha akele yaha.
Usko hi sath pata hu, jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Uske bina ab main akele reh nahi pata yaha,
Khud se bate karta hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Yun sochta na tha hamesha kisike liye main,
Ab main sochne laga hu,jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Ankho ko pehle adat na thi kisiko dekhne ki,
Bndh ankho se use dekhta hu,jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Main ek rahi tha pehle bina mazil ka yaha,
Khud ko mazil ke sath pata hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Koi mayine nahi rakhta tha pyar mere liye pehle,
Pyar ki ehmiyat ab janta hu ,jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Apne ap mehi khoya rehta tha main pehle,
Khud ko uske bin tanha pata hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Kisike liye kuch mangta nahi tha khuda se pehle,
Uske liye har khusi manga tu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me







A SHAYRI FOR HER............................................... ...



jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me............
dear dhaval.......!

bahut saara pyar....!

bahut accha likha hai, aur es matko se kahna ki baad mai.n kamiya nikalti hai, phele kyu nahi batati ki line badi hai ja chotti. eski kinchai karne wali hai, hai na...........................!

bahut accha likha hai tumne.

tumhari didi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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dilip200
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18th October 2006, 08:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhavalrami4you View Post
Kuch suj nahi raha tha bechen sa dil tha mera,
Par dil ne chen paya ,jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Lamhe bitata tha main yun tanha akele yaha.
Usko hi sath pata hu, jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Uske bina ab main akele reh nahi pata yaha,
Khud se bate karta hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Yun sochta na tha hamesha kisike liye main,
Ab main sochne laga hu,jab se wo aayi hai meri zindagi me

Ankho ko pehle adat na thi kisiko dekhne ki,
Bndh ankho se use dekhta hu,jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Main ek rahi tha pehle bina mazil ka yaha,
Khud ko mazil ke sath pata hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Koi mayine nahi rakhta tha pyar mere liye pehle,
Pyar ki ehmiyat ab janta hu ,jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Apne ap mehi khoya rehta tha main pehle,
Khud ko uske bin tanha pata hu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me

Kisike liye kuch mangta nahi tha khuda se pehle,
Uske liye har khusi manga tu, jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me







A SHAYRI FOR HER............................................... ...



jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me............
dear dhaval mere yaar
accha likha hai yaar tune ehsas bade pyare hain. per ek kami rah gayi yaar isme tune sabi sher ek meter main nahi rakhe.... isse sher ka bazan kam ho jata hai mere yaaaaaaaar
keep writing
dilip


" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab


Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Dhaval
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19th October 2006, 12:50 PM

hmmmm, to dhaval ji kami hai isme mujhe laga. apne sher ki last line kitni lambi kar di yaar. aap "jab se wo ayi hai meri zindagi me" ise chhota karne ke liye un bhi likh sakte thhe "jabse aai vo jivan me" ye to thhoda chhota hai........age se aap khayal rakhenge sher ki lambai ka ok...galtiyan baar baar na doharana..... apko parhke achha laga..........ok ji

grazie

aapki dost
pooja


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

========================
>>>>>>CUTE'S LOVE ONLY<<<<<<
------->>>>((((POOJA))))<<<<-------
========================
Lo Baha Di Kashti Humne Sehara Me,
Kya Khabar, Kab Tufan Aa Jaye.......
========================
~~Pakar Khona'''Meri Zindagi Hai~~

pooja aapki bat ko main manta hu aapne jo kaha mujhe sab sach laga aur main manta bhi hu is bat ko k kahi na kahiis me meri kuch galti haimuhe ye lines chhoti rakhni chahiye thi par kya karu main ehsas ka mara hu aapko to pata haik main jo dil se ehsas nikalte hai wohi main seedhe yaya pe bayan karta hu bina kuch changes kiye

muje apne ehsas me badlav karke achha nahi lagta shayad yehi meri kamzori rehti hai har bar ki peshkas me k main ehsas ko sahi tarike se pesh karu
aagese dhayan rakhunga is bat ka k aisi galti dubara na ho
aapne itna kuch kaha bahot achha laga aap sab dosto se hi muhe sikhne ko mila hai aur sikhne ko milega

apna khayal rakhiye

aapka dost
dhaval


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hi dhaval
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khushboo_hashmi
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hi dhaval - 19th October 2006, 06:08 PM

u written very well ... with very good thought...good jobe...

and suggetion of puja is also correct...take care of that....

i also inspire ..so i taken idea from u and written this.....

Kuchh sujhta na hai mujhko,Bechen bahut dil rehta hai..
Mere dil ko zara chen aaye ,jo pass mere aa jaoo…

Lamhe bitata yun tanha akele, ye mushkil bahut hota hai..
khuch waqt tumhara chura loon men, jo pass mer aa jaoo…

bina tumhare tanhayee men, dil bhaari ho jata hai..
kuch baten men bhi karloon , jo pass mere aajaoo….

Main ek musafir lagti hon, men bin manzil ke chalti hoon..
hasil men bhi manzil kar loon ,jo pass mere aajaoo..

Pyar se khuch na hota hi, phir kya ye pyar hota hai..
thoda pyar men bhi kar loon , jo pass mere aa jaoo…

jis raste se tum aaoo, rang binage phool saja doon..
nichhawar sari khushboo kar doon,jo pass mere aa jaoo..


From
* * *
Hum To Shayar hi,Shayri men apna dard chupa lete hi.
Alfazoon ko Thoda saja kar,Dil ka har raz bata deten hi.


* * *
   
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Dhaval
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24th October 2006, 10:12 PM

dear dhaval.......!

bahut saara pyar....!

bahut accha likha hai, aur es matko se kahna ki baad mai.n kamiya nikalti hai, phele kyu nahi batati ki line badi hai ja chotti. eski kinchai karne wali hai, hai na...........................!

bahut accha likha hai tumne.

tumhari didi

sister kais ho aap?

aapko ye likha hua pasand aaya achha laga janke

aur ha aapne sahi kaha k pooja ko pehle batana chahiye tha ab kya fayda submit ho gayi ye peshkas

agli ar se kahayl rakhunga

apna khayal rakhiye sister

khus rahiye

aapka dost
dhaval


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Dhaval
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24th October 2006, 10:14 PM

dear dhaval mere yaar
accha likha hai yaar tune ehsas bade pyare hain. per ek kami rah gayi yaar isme tune sabi sher ek meter main nahi rakhe.... isse sher ka bazan kam ho jata hai mere yaaaaaaaar
keep writing
dilip
18th October 2006 05:09 PM


ji mere dost aapki bat ka aage se khayal rakhunga aap yaha aaye aur ise pasadn kya bahot achha laga

apna khayal rakhiyenga


khus rahiye

aapka dost
dhaval


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Dhaval
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24th October 2006, 10:23 PM

u written very well ... with very good thought...good jobe...

and suggetion of puja is also correct...take care of that....

i also inspire ..so i taken idea from u and written this.....

Kuchh sujhta na hai mujhko,Bechen bahut dil rehta hai..
Mere dil ko zara chen aaye ,jo pass mere aa jaoo…

Lamhe bitata yun tanha akele, ye mushkil bahut hota hai..
khuch waqt tumhara chura loon men, jo pass mer aa jaoo…

bina tumhare tanhayee men, dil bhaari ho jata hai..
kuch baten men bhi karloon , jo pass mere aajaoo….

Main ek musafir lagti hon, men bin manzil ke chalti hoon..
hasil men bhi manzil kar loon ,jo pass mere aajaoo..

Pyar se khuch na hota hi, phir kya ye pyar hota hai..
thoda pyar men bhi kar loon , jo pass mere aa jaoo…

jis raste se tum aaoo, rang binage phool saja doon..
nichhawar sari khushboo kar doon,jo pass mere aa jaoo


are wah khusboo ji

aapka ye jawab to bahot hi achha laga mujhe pasand aaya ha maine lambi lines rakhi thi ye baat ko main bhi manta hu par agli bar se kosish karunga k galti ka ho

aap yaha aayi aur itna achha sujhav diya bahot hi achha laga mujhe

apna khayal rakhiyenga

khus rahiye

aapka dost
dhaval


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Sandhya1
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27th October 2006, 08:07 AM

Dhaval
bahuta acha likha hai apne
it was nice

appki doest
sandhya
   
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Dhaval
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27th October 2006, 10:23 PM

Dhaval
bahuta acha likha hai apne
it was nice

appki doest
sandhya

sandhya ji namaskaar

aap yaha aayi bahot hi achha laga aapne meri is peshkas ko pasand kiya bahot hi achha laga aap yaha nayi ho aur aap bhi kafi achha likhti ho maine aapko bhi padha hai bas aap dilse likhne ki kosish kijiye aap aur bhi achha likh sakti ho
bas aise hi sath dete rahiyenga
apna khayal rakhiyenga

khus rahiye

aapka dost
dhaval


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