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mere dar se uth kar agar ja rahe ho
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mujib66
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mere dar se uth kar agar ja rahe ho - 27th August 2014, 12:47 PM

mere dar se uth kar agar ja rahe ho
bata kar to jao kidhar ja rahe ho

bhari hain nami se tumhari bhi aankhen
bure haal men ho magar ja rahe ho

wafa hi wafa main ne ki hai hamesha
mujh hi se chura ke nazar ja rahe ho

zara main bhi janu ke kis ghum ko lekar
idhar ja rahe ho udhar ja rahe ho

khuda se dua main eh hi maangta hun
udhar khush raho tum jidhar ja rahe ho

mujhe zher de kar abhi mar dalo
agar waqai chod kar ja rahe ho

hai Parwaaz ko bas isi baat ka ghum
ke apni qasam tod kar ja rahe ho

Last edited by zainy; 2nd September 2014 at 01:04 PM..
   
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mujib66
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28th August 2014, 11:09 AM

Bohut bohut shukriya Nazneen ji.
Aap ke sabhi doston se farmayiye ke is Ghazal ko padhen.

Maaf karna.... ek misre men ek lafz choot gaya..eh hai "tum" AUR SAHI MISRA HAI

IDHAR JA RAHE HO TUM UDHAR JA RAHE HO.

kia ise hum edit kar sakte hain?

AUR BEHER HAI.....FAULUN FAULUN FAULUN FAULUN
   
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mujib66
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28th August 2014, 04:49 PM

Nahin yaar theek tha oh ghalat ho gaya.

idhar ja - faulun
rahe ho-faulun
udhar ja -faulun
rahe ho- faulun

It was correct. pl change it.
idhar ja rahe ho udhar ja rahe ho.
   
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aadeil
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2nd September 2014, 12:21 PM

waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Mujibsaab,
behad khubsurat ghazal banaayii hai, aur jaise ki aapne bataayaa, 4th sher ke misraa-e-saani meN 'TUM' kii extra taktee ho gayii hai , par yehi uljhan hai ki hum apnii khud kii posts bhii edit nahi kar sakte after sometime

vaise ye ghazal hameN ek puraane gaane kii yaad de jaataa hai... 'ajii ruthkar ab kahaaN jaaiyegaa'..... aur usii beher meN aur usii dhuun ko gungunaate hue aapkii ye ghazal ka bhii lutf utHa liye hum

dheroN dheroN daad....

duaaGo
Adil



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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zainy
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2nd September 2014, 12:28 PM

Editing already ho chuki hai aadil sahab. ..."tum" word add kar diya gaya hai..




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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aadeil
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2nd September 2014, 12:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Editing already ho chuki hai aadil sahab. ..."tum" word add kar diya gaya hai..
Zainyji,
wo word extra hai, use nikaalnaa tha ..
Mujeebsaab ka reply wala post paDhiye 28th Aug, 4:49PM wala



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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zainy
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2nd September 2014, 01:04 PM

Ok..done..........................




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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mujib66
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2nd September 2014, 04:57 PM

Jee han Aadeil ji

Aap ne bilkul sahi farmaya...eh Ghazal usi geet ki beher men hai.....ek aur geet hai isi beher men jo mujhe yaad araha hai.....bane chahe dushman zamana hamara...salamat rahe dostana hamara..

Yeh jaan kar mujhe khushi hui ke aap ko ghazal pasand ayai. yun hi saath dete rahiyega.

Aap ki daad aur hausla afzai ke liye main teh dil se shukriya ada karta hun.

Khuda hafiz

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mujib66
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2nd September 2014, 05:03 PM

Shukriya Zainy ji...but sorry for the belated response to the fact that u have removed the extra word ''tum".

But there is no comment on my Ghazal from your side. Have you read it throughout or not?

Take care
Khuda Hafiz
   
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Shayaraina
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2nd September 2014, 06:40 PM

Brilliant..Bahut umda hai..Waah!
Har ek shaer dil sey nikalta nazar aata hai.


"Shayaraana andaaz hai tera,
Mujhsey mohabbat karney ka...
Har lafz mein intazaam hai,
Mere tabhiyat sey marney ka...."
(SR)c&p

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mujib66
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3rd September 2014, 11:42 AM

Bohut bohut shukriya Sanjay ji.
Isi tarah saath dete rahiyega.

Cheers!

Mujeeb Parwaaz
   
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vinaydahiya
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16th October 2014, 11:16 PM

Kya baat hai...... bahut behatreen likha hai aapne....



mera kya hai main to deewana hu
kya bataoo tumko baare mein apne
mein to khud se hi begaana hu

...................vinaydahiya
   
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kwahish
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17th October 2014, 12:54 AM

Mujeeb Sahaab Aadaab ...

Waah janaab waah kyaa laa jawaab gazal pesh kii hai aapne ...
Bahut khoob janab bahut umdaa ... har sher qabil e daad hai ...

Mashaa Allaah ...! Behad gehre aur khoob khayaaloN se saji is umdaa kalaam par tareef ke liye lafz nahi hai janab ...
Meri hazaaroN hazaaroN dili daad O mubbarakbad kabul kijiye ...
Bazm ko apne kalaamoN se gulzaar karte rahiye ...

Shaad O aabaad rahiye ...
Khuda Hafez ...


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sunita thakur
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17th October 2014, 10:22 AM

Mujib ji...........aik shaandaar gazal pesh ki hai aapne...hame sabhi sher acche lge par yeh aik sher dil ke khaas kareeb rha.

hai Parwaaz ko bas isi baat ka ghum
ke apni qasam tod kar ja rahe ho...!

god bless u


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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mujib66
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17th October 2014, 11:22 AM

Bohut bohut shukriya Vinaydahiya ji

Aap ki qadrdani sar ankhon pe.
Yun hi mere sare kalaam padhte rahiye.

Daon ke saath
Mujeeb Parwaaz.
   
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17th October 2014, 11:26 AM

Adab Kwahish ji

Aap ki zarranawazi ka bohut bohut shukriya.

Yun hi mere sare kalaam padhte rahiye.
Aap jaise Ghazal pasand logon ke liye to Ghazal zindah hai.

Thanks & regards.
Mujeeb Parwaaz.
   
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17th October 2014, 11:32 AM

Adaab Sunita ji,

Aap ki daad ke liye main teh dil se mashkoor aur mamnoon hun.

Yun hi mere sare kalaam dhund dhund kar padhiye.....aur ho sake to doston se padhwayiye....mere liye is se badi khushi ki baat kuch nahin hogi.

Aap mujh ko padh ne ki qasam ( ya silsila) mat todiyega.......smiling

Daon ke saath

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28th November 2014, 07:15 PM

Wwaaaaaaaaaaahhh
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

Kya khob likha hai



Bhushan Joshi
   
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29th December 2014, 04:13 PM

bohut shukriya Bhushan Sb.

Duaon ke saath
Mujeeb Parwaaz
   
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30th December 2014, 12:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mujib66 View Post
mere dar se uth kar agar ja rahe ho
bata kar to jao kidhar ja rahe ho

bhari hain nami se tumhari bhi aankhen
bure haal men ho magar ja rahe ho

wafa hi wafa main ne ki hai hamesha
mujh hi se chura ke nazar ja rahe ho

zara main bhi janu ke kis ghum ko lekar
idhar ja rahe ho udhar ja rahe ho

khuda se dua main eh hi maangta hun
udhar khush raho tum jidhar ja rahe ho

mujhe zher de kar abhi mar dalo
agar waqai chod kar ja rahe ho

hai Parwaaz ko bas isi baat ka ghum
ke apni qasam tod kar ja rahe ho

waaahhhhh janaab kya baat hai...................... behad raawaan dawaan kalaam likhaa hai aapne... sar se paa talak faqat jaadu...... bahot si daad aapko


Shaad...
   
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mujib66
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1st January 2015, 01:15 PM

Bohut bohut shukriya shaad sahab

Naya saal 2015 teh dil se Mubarak ho.

Duaon ke saath
Mujeeb Parwaaz
   
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