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Ghazal: ghut ghut ke marna humse, baar baar nahi hota... |
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(#1)
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'Bismil'
  
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Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Ghazal: ghut ghut ke marna humse, baar baar nahi hota... -
5th May 2009, 05:23 PM
aaj phir ek ghazal likhne ki koshish ki hai...aap sabki raay ka muntazir rahunga...
ab to uski chaahat pe hamein E’tebaar nahi hota yun ghut ghut ke marna humse, baar baar nahi hota jhoothe uske waade the, jhootha hi uska pyaar tha fitrat-e-husn ke kya kehne, woh wafadaar nahi hota jalwat maiN puchtaa hai mujhse ki ‘teri aukaat kya hai’? apni harkatoen se kyun woh sharm-saar nahi hota? be-rahmi se jalaata raha iss dil ko woh, shab-o-roz haal-e-dil na jaanta, gar zakhm aabdaar nahi hota uske dard ko sehta hun, maiN katra katra jeeta hun kyun mariz-e-ishq ka koi teemardaar nahi hota? na dariyaa-e-ashq hota, na aashiq-e-dil-figaar hota gar jasba-e-ishq ka maiN talabgaar nahi hota dekhta huN naqaab maiN, badalte chehre insaan ke maiN kispe karun yakin ke koi wazadaar nahi hota maiy ko yun na pee “Bismil”, ke gum sa ho jaae tu saaqi ko phir ek arse tak, tera deedar nahi hota kehta hai “Bismil” maut ko, ‘le le apni baahoen maiN’ kuch sukoon hi mil jaaye ki ab intezaar nahi hota --------------------------------------------- jalwat = publicly aabdaar = polished, shining, sharp teemardaar = nurse, one who looks after the sick and invalid dil-figaar = melancholy, depressing, mournful talab = desire wazadaar = dependable, consistent -- Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#2)
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Loquacious Adonis
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Posts: 2,700
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: ......
Rep Power: 23
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5th May 2009, 05:28 PM
Quote:
Ek sitam aur meri jaan abhi Jaan baqi hai Dil mein ab tak tere ulfaat ka nishaan baqi hai... So dude wait for another hit...  |
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(#3)
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beautiful moment.........
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Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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5th May 2009, 06:42 PM
Quote:
wahhhhhhhhhh.............bahut khoob ......keep it up...  "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa , ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
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(#4)
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Moderator
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Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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5th May 2009, 09:47 PM
Namaskaar Pradhyuman jii, aapki gazal hume behad pasand aaye, sabhi sher ek se bad kar ek lage....ahsaas dil-farab rahe.....good work.
god bless u Quote:
 .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
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(#5)
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,089
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Rep Power: 31
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6th May 2009, 07:07 AM
hi Pradhyuman
Bahut aacha likha hai aapne ... ehsaas dil ko chu se gaye ho.. keep it up ..Great!!! take care likhte rahe ~ Mandeep Kaur ~ |
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(#6)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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8th May 2009, 01:00 PM
Quote:
thnks for likin my work nd thanks fr sharing the sher wid us.. bahot acha laga padhkar....khush rahiye..god bless u Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#7)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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8th May 2009, 01:04 PM
Quote:
aapse kya kahun main???...pankha matt baneye...dost hi kaafi hai,,,,thank u so so much for appreciatn my feelns...khush rahiye... aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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har ek sher mei itni gehrai hai ki mai unhe padhte padhte doobne hi waali thi.......thnx god sahi samae par hosh agaya 
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(#8)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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8th May 2009, 01:05 PM
Quote:
main aapka shukruguzar hun ki aapne meri is koshish ko saraaaha.. god bless u Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#9)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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8th May 2009, 01:07 PM
Quote:
iss nacheez ki koshish ko pasand karne ke liye..yunhin saath dete rahiyega... Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#10)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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8th May 2009, 01:09 PM
Quote:
Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#11)
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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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10th May 2009, 04:41 PM
Pradyuman Sahab....... AAdab..
Super stroke..... like it so nice. each and every lines touching to heart, coz it's whole Gazal's word are touchi. It's really superb creation, thought and expression are too good. Keep writting keep smiling........ God bless you........ 
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(#12)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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11th May 2009, 09:30 AM
Quote:
thank u so very much for appreciatin my work...god bless u as well... Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#13)
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Registered User
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Posts: 665
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Location: Waltham, MA
Rep Power: 27
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14th May 2009, 08:29 AM
nicely done.
This was really good. "yun ghut ghut ke marna humse, baar baar nahi hota" Quote:
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(#14)
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Registered User
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Posts: 310
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: gujrat
Rep Power: 0
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14th May 2009, 10:40 AM
Quote:
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(#15)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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14th May 2009, 02:06 PM
Quote:
Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#16)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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14th May 2009, 02:09 PM
Quote:
bahot bahot shukriya meri iss koshish ko pasand karne ke liye..main aapka tah-e-dil se mamnoon hun...god bless u.. Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#17)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 47
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14th May 2009, 02:30 PM
pradhyun sahab,
apki ghazal me ghalib ka mazaa aaya. pehli baar is forum me kisi ki ghazal bahut achhi lagi.....sirf achhi to sabhi likte hai yahan( bas mujhe choorkar) regards |
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(#18)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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15th May 2009, 03:37 PM
Quote:
gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#19)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,855
Join Date: Sep 2007
Rep Power: 33
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26th May 2009, 11:12 AM
Quote:
Aadaab Arz hai moHteram ! umeed hai khairiyat se hoNge ... Aapki ghazal beHad passand aai , thoRi si baarikiyaN hai baaqi ghazal ko choR ker sirf pehle hi sher ki baat kerte haiN ... zara Ghaur fermaaiye ga .... app ne matla meN "e'tbaar " or "baar" qaafia istemaal kiya , donoN men "baar" mushtarik hai liHaaza app ne "baar" ko bataur qaafia paband ker diyaa hai , matlab meN jitna qaafia mushtarik ho woh paband ho jaata hai poori ghazal ke liye , app ne ghazal meN qaafia dosre istemaal kiya , is ghalti ko eet^aa kaha jaata hai . dosra ghut ghut ker merna mere e'lm se Khaarij hai ghut ghut ke jiyaa jaana mere e'lm meN shumaar hai , mere naaQis elmi hai app se iltemaas hai app tasali ker laiN , meN 100 feSadi ghalat ho sakta hoN baaQi ghazal ke do char sher to dil ko bahut bhaaey , yuNhi likhte rahiye . daad qabool fermaaieN aik baat arz kerna chahta hoN mera maQsad appko niraash kerna nahieN hai balkeh un baarikiyoN se agaah kerna hai shayad jin per app ki nazar nahieN peRi , gustaakhi ke liye nihayat mazrat khuwaa hoN Mujeeb |
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(#20)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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26th May 2009, 11:24 AM
Quote:
Mujeeb bhai aadaab, bahot bahot shukriya apni keemti raaey dene ka...jee huzoor mujhe is baat ka ilm hai ki maine kaafiye ko paband kar diya hai..yeh baat mujhe Mayank ji ne bhi bataayi thi...aage se koshish karunga ki yeh galti na dohraaun... aur doosri baat jo aapne kahi hai "ghut ghut ke marna"....aap 100 fisadi sahi hai yahan....aapne jo chehra diya hai uss misre ko woh behtar hai... yakin maaniye bahot khushi hoti hai aapke comments paake kyunki aap seedhi baat karte hai aur galtiyaan highlight karte hai....jo ki zaroori hai kisi bhi insaan ko janna.. good se great hone ke liye...aapki koi bhi baat ka maiN bura nahi maanta balke intezaar rehta hai aapke replies ka..khush rahiye...aur bazm main aate rahiye...laa'ilm hun janaab...kuch sikhne milta hai aapke yahan aane se.. god bless u Pradhyuman - Bismil gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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