Santa and Banta Jokes

[gjgjgj]

SANTA & HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO....
DRIVER ADJUSTED MIRROR..
SANTA SHOUTED U R SEEING MY WIFE...
GO & SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE THE AUTO...
================================
1 AADMI PURI LIFE ONLY 1 THING SOCHTE SOCHTE MAR GAYA

KI MERE TO 2 BROTHERS HAI
PHIR MERI SISTER KE 3 BROTHERS KAISE
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SANTA APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA.
BOY: OYE GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO

SANTA: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI MERI TO SISTER HAI.
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SANTA : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!

BANTA: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.
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SANTA AAJ MAINE PAANI KO ULLU BANAYA

BANTA: wo kaise?

SANTA: aaj maine nahane k liye paani garm kiya aur thande se naha liya.
=========================================

Santa declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .

.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .
=========================================
SANTA talking on cell.
BANTA: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .
==========================================
A donkey kicked SANTA & ran away
SANTA ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it
& said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
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SLAM BOOK filled by SANTA

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta's wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity:When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour
========================================
A SANTA gave an Ad in matrimonial column
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying-- 'Meri Le JA. ..
=======================================
A SANTA sees a beautiful girl . He goes and kises her . The girl shouts and
says
what r u doing.
SANTA says B COM from KHALSA college.
======================================
SANTA: yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai,
friend: acha wo kaise?
Yar kal me ghar aya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard k sath bethi
thi.!!
======================================
Santa: yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gai..
mona: tune use pyar se nahi rakha hoga,
Santa: nahi yar sagi behan se bhi badkar rakha tha..
=====================================
On Jeeto's bday
Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
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Yamraj took Santa on tour to hell. There he saw Mahatama Gandhi dancing with Bipasha.
He asked:gandhiji ki saza ini mazedar kyon?
yamraj: saza ta Bipasha ko mili hai..
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Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
Santa: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
====================================
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
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Lect: write a note on Gandhi jayanti..??

So..
santa writes "Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti..
=========================================
Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up wen he comes.!!..
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Santa:banta yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Banta: Oye Santa, tujhe ye bhi nahin pata dear jab auto main koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to usse kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI.
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Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
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Banta: you cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India
Radio!
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Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
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Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
=======================================
Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

[qqplus]

excellent boss !

[sunita thakur]

ha ha ha .....bahut mazza aaya padkar...

[chaahat]

All of them are very funny!!!!

Thanx for sharing Gaurav ji..

~Priya

[KATIL SHAYAR]

Itne saare jokes....

Ekdum se padhe to aisa laga jaise k daawat me hum ye sochte hain k kya khaaye

Haste-2 paet bharr gaya parr mann nahi bhara

Thanks gaurav ji