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baat teri ab karuN PARCHAAIYON se main sanam...!! |
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(#1)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
  
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baat teri ab karuN PARCHAAIYON se main sanam...!! -
3rd May 2013, 10:01 PM
ghoom aaya yaad ki gehraiiyoN se main sanam, baat teri ab karuN parchaaiyon se maiN sanam... haazma kyuN aql ka bigdaa hua hai aaj-kal, thak gaya huN yaad ki in ultiyoN se main sanam... dekhte hi teri surat fir mohabbat jaagi hai, kab hooN seekha ishq ki in galtiyoN se maiN sanam... dekh leta huN jo kabhi in dairy ke pannoN ko, kaaNp jata yaadoN ki in sardiyoN se maiN sanam... tu hai sabse khoobsurat gul khuda ke baagh ki, haal tera jaan leta titliyon se main sanam... kaudiyoN ke bhaav aashiq bikte haiN baazaar meN, dekhuN ulfat ka tamaasha khidkiyoN se maiN sanam... khat mere sab laut aaye, jo bhi tujhko the likhe, poochta tera pata ab panchiyoN se main sanam... soch kar us bewafa ko raat din ab is kadar, saans uski rok dooN yuN hichkiyoN se maiN sanam... roz karti baat jaane ki magar jaati nahiN, jeest ko ab cheddta bedardiyoN se maiN sanam... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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Tanha Dil |
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(#2)
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Tanha Dil -
4th May 2013, 07:51 AM
Rone Ka Mazaa Bhi Barsaat Ne Aaj Poora Kar Diya..
ae "doston" Afsos Ke Is Tanha Dil Ko Phirse Adhoora Kar Diya...</3 |
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(#3)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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4th May 2013, 08:49 AM
Acche sher kahe hain aapne Lucky bhai, meri taraf se mubaarakbaad qubool farmaaeN...
Bas kuch baateN ghazal ke lihaaz se khatak rahi hain, ummeed hai aap meri pareshani door farmaaiyega.... 1) Matla me aapne qaafiya istemaal kiya hai "parchaiyon" "gehraaiyoN" iski aawaz aati hai "aaiyoN" jabki agle sheroN me aapne qaafiya istemaal kiya hai "ultiyoN" "galtiyon" etc... so yahana qaafiye ki aawaz hai "iyoN" so dekha jaae to baaki sher ke qaafiye matle se nahi milte... sudhaar ki zarurat hhai yahaaN... 2) 4th sher ka oola misra behar se haTtaa nazar aata hai... 3) 5th sher me khuda ke bagh "ki" ke bajaay baagh "ka" zyada suitable hai... aap fir bhi ek baar dekh lein... 4) 8we sher me lafz "Soch" se zyaada "Yaad" zaayada suitable hotaa hai.. aap khud sochiye... aaapne ye suna hoga kon yaad kar raha hai hichkiyaan aa rahi hai.. ye rare hai kon soch raha hai hichki aa rahi hai... khair.... aap dekh leiN.. Mujhe jo sahi laga maine kaha... ummeed hai naraaaz na honge.... shukriyaaa... likhte raheN Shaad... |
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(#4)
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Moderator
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4th May 2013, 10:50 AM
Dear lucky...behad khoobsurat ahsaas pyar aur dard ke miley juley ahsaas acche lge....god bless u dear
 .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
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(#5)
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Shayri.com Moderator
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4th May 2013, 11:04 AM
Lucky bhaii:
namaste! Ghazal ke ehsaas pasand aayeN... dil se daad KhuSh rahiye... apnaa Khayaal raKheN duaaoN ke saath ijaazat aapka ~Dhaval |
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(#6)
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Main shayar to nahin.....
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Location: kanpur
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5th May 2013, 06:49 AM
lucky bhai......beutifully expressed feelings with nice imagination....liked it....
एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था Arvind Saxena Ph. No. 7905856220 |
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(#7)
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Anshumali
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5th May 2013, 08:58 AM
Quote:
Khoobsurat Ghazal Huii Taish Bhai UmdaaH ... Dilee Mubaaraqbaad !!!  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#8)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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7th May 2013, 09:22 AM
Quote:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, saaheb pehla point fully taken, mujhe matle meN hi riyaayat le leni thi qaafiye ki jo maine nahiN li meri ghalti, ab yahi solution hai ki ise husn-e-,atla bana ke matle meN riyaayat le luN... fourth sher meN typo ho gaya hai saaheb... 5th sher meN bhaagh ka hoga, again taken, aapko pata hi hai abhi bhi kaafi kachha huN maiN... :P aathweN sher meN soch se jyada obvious yaad hoga, ye maiN maanta huN, par thodi poetry jaayaz hai saaheb, har cheez itni obvious kyuN kareN, aur waise bh hum kisi ko bina yaad kiye to soch nahiN sakte... Bas baat ko kehne ka ek alag nazariya hai, har baat seedhi si sapaat keh di jaaye to utna maza na aaye shayad... chalo saaheb aap aaye aur aapne itne gaur se padha iske liye aapka shukraguzaar huN maiN... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#9)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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7th May 2013, 09:24 AM
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#10)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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7th May 2013, 09:41 AM
Meri khushnaseebi hai lucky bhai, jo aapne meri baat rakkhii..... yaqeen maniye mera bilkul iraada nahi tha galtiyaan bataa kar aapko hurt karne ka.. bas jo itni haseen ghazal aaap aajkal kehne lage hain Masha Allah ke ab ye choti moti galtiyon ki ummeed qatai nahi hai aapse....
so kehne ka sabab bas itna hai ke post ke pahle in galtiyon ke sarapa ko khariz kar diya kareN.. taki koi gunjaish hi nna baaaki rahe .. alllah aapke zauqe tabassum ko badnazr se mahfooz rakkhe..... khush rahiye.... likhte rahiye.... Shaad... |
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(#11)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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7th May 2013, 09:51 AM
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#12)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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7th May 2013, 09:52 AM
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#13)
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Member
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Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
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8th May 2013, 01:29 PM
Lucky bhai kafi arse ke baad apki ghazal pari, kabile tareef hai.
Huzoor ab pehle ki tarah regular ho jayiye yahan per. Sanjay Sehgal khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar , Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar. |
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(#14)
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Zindagi Kaisee Hai Paheli
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8th May 2013, 05:31 PM
Quote:
.................................................. ......... |
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(#15)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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9th May 2013, 09:18 AM
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#16)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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9th May 2013, 09:20 AM
Quote:
bahut bahut shukriya aapki hausla afzaayi ka janaab... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#17)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
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10th May 2013, 07:32 PM
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#18)
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Zindagi Ek Tassavvur!!!
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Location: Hyderabad,India
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13th May 2013, 03:58 AM
Aadab,
Bohot umda peshkash... Dili Daad kubool kare... Duaon ki darkhwast, Abrar.  Hum to pattharon se mohabbat ka hunar rakhte hain, Tum to phir bhi moom ho "Abrar" ke gale lag kar pighal jaoge... |
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(#19)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Rep Power: 48
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17th May 2013, 12:40 PM
Quote:
sir ji bas ye regularity waali cheez hi to nahiN ho paati, humse kahiN bhi....  waise tareef ka shukriya, umeed karta hun aage v yuNhi likhta reh sakooN...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#20)
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Registered User
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Location: Chandigarh
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18th May 2013, 08:37 PM
[QUOTE=Taish;451984]
ghoom aaya yaad ki gehraiiyoN se main sanam, bahut khoob taish ji......! Har ek sher laajawab....! Aise hi likhte rahiye.....! Khush rahiye....! baat teri ab karuN parchaaiyon se maiN sanam... haazma kyuN aql ka bigdaa hua hai aaj-kal, thak gaya huN yaad ki in ultiyoN se main sanam... dekhte hi teri surat fir mohabbat jaagi hai, kab hooN seekha ishq ki in galtiyoN se maiN sanam... dekh leta huN jo kabhi in dairy ke pannoN ko, kaaNp jata yaadoN ki in sardiyoN se maiN sanam... tu hai sabse khoobsurat gul khuda ke baagh ki, haal tera jaan leta titliyon se main sanam... kaudiyoN ke bhaav aashiq bikte haiN baazaar meN, dekhuN ulfat ka tamaasha khidkiyoN se maiN sanam... khat mere sab laut aaye, jo bhi tujhko the likhe, poochta tera pata ab panchiyoN se main sanam... soch kar us bewafa ko raat din ab is kadar, saans uski rok dooN yuN hichkiyoN se maiN sanam... roz karti baat jaane ki magar jaati nahiN, jeest ko ab cheddta bedardiyoN se maiN sanam... Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!! Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!! |
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(#21)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
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Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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21st May 2013, 02:00 PM
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#22)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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25th May 2013, 09:44 AM
Quote:
Abrar saaheb, aapki daad humare sar aankhoN pe, jaan kar khushi hui ki aapko kalaam pasand aaya, bas aage bhi aap yuNhi hausla afzaayi karte raheN...!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#23)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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1st June 2013, 10:28 AM
[QUOTE=Kavita Negi;452405]
Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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