Tell me....just what, have you done!

[EnigmA]

So you had joy, you had fun,
As well as seasons in the sun!
To make this world a better place,
Tell me ...just what, have you done!

Did you do a charity run,
Or gave hungry child a free bun,
Did you make someone put down his gun,
To make this world a better place,
Tell me just ....what have you done!

Boy your countdown has begun,
And it's well past your day one!
So make hay while there is Sun,
And be there to help someone!

You need not be a Priest,
And you need not be a Nun!
To make this world a better place,
Just be good to everyone!

Off course you deserve your share of joy,
You deserve your share of fun
But make sure making this world a better place,
You did.. all you could have done!

[zainy]

MashaAllah!!..

A very good piece of advice..

May Allah guide us all to the right path..

[saadat tahir]

Originally Posted by zainy

MashaAllah!!..

A very good piece of advice..

May Allah guide us all to the right path..

i so agree
very ardent and moving lines....
a call of the day sorta...Koooooooooooool..

and you so remind of Terry Jacks...))

sat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA6Bq...eature=related

[zidd]

Originally Posted by EnigmA

So you had joy, you had fun,
As well as seasons in the sun!
To make this world a better place,
Tell me ...just what, have you done!

Did you do a charity run,
Or gave hungry child a free bun,
Did you make someone put down his gun,
To make this world a better place,
Tell me just ....what have you done!

Boy your countdown has begun,
And it's well past your day one!
So make hay while there is Sun,
And be there to help someone!

You need not be a Priest,
And you need not be a Nun!
To make this world a better place,
Just be good to everyone!

Off course you deserve your share of joy,
You deserve your share of fun
But make sure making this world a better place,
You did.. all you could have done!

bhai bahut khoob....

when you say...Or gave hungry...it reminded me of "oh my darling clementine".......perfect if trochees and syllable are discounted.....in the mould of a good trochaic tetrameter.....but why stop at that if you know it?

your poem felt like a seesaw......Did you do a charity run,....a bit amaterish.....but when you say next Or gave hungry child a free bun,
....i feel like you are a hundred year old man....this line was a beauty....perfect metrically.

your poem generates good vibes......i must say you are a gentleman......your poem is a dead giveaway.

wish you a nice world....people like you are few.
warm regards

[EnigmA]

Originally Posted by zainy

MashaAllah!!..

A very good piece of advice..

May Allah guide us all to the right path..

Adaab Mohtarma Zainy Sahiba!

Thank You Very Much For Your Appreciation And Please Accept Apologies For The Belated Response. Bas Zindgi Ki Masroofiyaat Se Chutkaara Nahi Mila After Last Friday. But That's Not An Excuse I Believe, For The Delay In Thanking You And Janab Dr. Saadat Tahir Sahab And Mohtaram Janaab Zidd Sahab! Anyways Thanks Again And I Wish The Almighty Keep Us on The Right Track...Always!

Khush Rahein! Abaad Rahein!

[EnigmA]

Originally Posted by saadat tahir

i so agree
very ardent and moving lines....
a call of the day sorta...Koooooooooooool..

and you so remind of Terry Jacks...))

sat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA6Bq...eature=related

Adaab Janaab Dr. Saadat Tahir Sahab!

I Once Again Am Very Humbled, Especially By Your Appreciation. I Only Tried To Keep It Straight And Simple And As A Reminder To None But Self As Sometimes We, As Humans, Loose Focus From The Simple Acts Of Kindness( Which DO Go A Long Way In Making This World A Better Place) While Focussing On Our Next Big Indulgence.
..I Thank You Once Again For Your Kind Words!
Khush Rahein! Abaad Rahein!

[EnigmA]

Originally Posted by zidd

bhai bahut khoob....

when you say...Or gave hungry...it reminded me of "oh my darling clementine".......perfect if trochees and syllable are discounted.....in the mould of a good trochaic tetrameter.....but why stop at that if you know it?

your poem felt like a seesaw......Did you do a charity run,....a bit amaterish.....but when you say next Or gave hungry child a free bun,
....i feel like you are a hundred year old man....this line was a beauty....perfect metrically.

your poem generates good vibes......i must say you are a gentleman......your poem is a dead giveaway.

wish you a nice world....people like you are few.
warm regards

Adaab Janaab Zidd Sahab!
First Of All I Am Very Much Humbled As Well By Your Kind Words! And My Apologies For The Delayed Response Once Again To You All( Zainy Sahiba, Dr.Tahir Sahab And You).

"when you say...Or gave hungry...it reminded me of "oh my darling clementine".......perfect if trochees and syllable are discounted.....in the mould of a good trochaic tetrameter.....but why stop at that if you know it?"

To Be Frank Janab I Hadn't Any Song In My Mind Except For The Beginning Few Lines Of The Song "Seasons In The Sun" By Westlife. I Was Directing It At People Of My Age, Who Had Their Teenage Years In The 90's And Are Now Settled In Their Lives , Well Positioned To Do Something Before Thinking Of Going For The Next Indulgence.

"your poem felt like a seesaw......Did you do a charity run,....a bit amaterish.....but when you say next Or gave hungry child a free bun,
....i feel like you are a hundred year old man....this line was a beauty....perfect metrically."

One Thing For Sure.. I Am An Amateur.. Well Spotted. The "Did You Do A Charity Run" Is Surely No Classic English But I Felt Compelled To Include It As I Felt The Message Should Be Simple And Contemporary ( And I Swear I Meant No Contempt To The Poetic Standards!)..

Your Next Few Lines Did Make Me More Than Smile..
If This Line Results In Someone Actually Doing That Deed..I'd Believe My Poem Has Been Rewarded Hundred Thousand Times ANd That Will Be An Understatement!

Dead Giveaway...Hahaha! Janab I Ain't No Saint But I Do Sincerely Strive For Humility! I Once Again Thank You For Your Kind Words And Time!

Khush Rahein! Abaad Rahein!

[gazzal]

Originally Posted by EnigmA

So you had joy, you had fun,
As well as seasons in the sun!
To make this world a better place,
Tell me ...just what, have you done!

Did you do a charity run,
Or gave hungry child a free bun,
Did you make someone put down his gun,
To make this world a better place,
Tell me just ....what have you done!

Boy your countdown has begun,
And it's well past your day one!
So make hay while there is Sun,
And be there to help someone!

You need not be a Priest,
And you need not be a Nun!
To make this world a better place,
Just be good to everyone!

Off course you deserve your share of joy,
You deserve your share of fun
But make sure making this world a better place,
You did.. all you could have done!

nice.... .... .... .... .... .... ....

[EnigmA]

Originally Posted by gazzal

nice.... .... .... .... .... .... ....

Adaab Mohtrma Gazzal Sahiba!

I Welcome and Thank You For Your Kind Appreciation!

Khush Rahein!