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kyaa Khabar thee voh bhool jaa'eN ge!
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Sarwar A. Raz
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kyaa Khabar thee voh bhool jaa'eN ge! - 7th November 2003, 09:17 AM

yaaraan.e.bazm: aadaab arz hai!

Haal hee meiN aik bazm meiN yeh misra'.e.taraH taba'.aazmaa'ee ke liye diyaa gayaa hai:

:kyaa Khabar thee voh bhool jaa'eN ge:

radeef: ge
qaafiye: jaa'eN, aazmaa'eN, aa'eN, bhulaa'eN vaGhaira

jaisaa ke zaahir hai, yeh aik ChhoTee beHr (meter) hai. iss kee :zameen: (aazmaa'eN ge, jaa'eN ge) bohat zarKhez hai, ya'nee iss meiN qaafiyoN kee kamee naheeN hai. aise misre' per Ghazal kehne meiN umooman ziyaadah dushvaaree naheeN hotee hai. albatta beHr kaa ChoTaa honaa mushkileN pedaa kar saktaa hai kyoN.k iss kaa taqaaza hai k kam alfaaz meiN apnaa matlab bayaan kiyaa jaa'e. neez yeh k qaafiyoN kee faraawaanee aur aasaanee kee vajh se mazaameen ziyaadah gehre, ma'nee.Khez aur balaNd mushkil se hee ho sakte haiN. yeh a'in mumkin hai k aik hee Khayaal bohat se zehnoN meiN dar aa'e.

ChoTee beHr meiN a'laa aur balaNd ash'aar asaatiza ke yahaaN hee milte haiN. aisee beHroN meiN kamaal Haasil karnaa her shaKhs ke bus kee baat naheeN hai. lekin iss kaa yeh matlab naheeN hai k ham.aap aise misre' per fikr hee na kareN! fikr to laazimee hai; albatta saath hee yeh koshish bhee honee chaahiye k mazaameen bilkul hee :ghise.piTe: ho kar na reh jaa'eN aur munaasib alfaaz ke intiKhaab aur dilkash andaaz.e.bayaan se ash'aar meiN rachaa'o pedaa kiyaa jaa'e. iss kaa bhee yeh matlab naheeN hai k meree Ghazal in KhoobiyoN kee aa'eena.daar hai! phir bhee jaisee hai aap kee Khidmat meiN pesh hai. aap se darKhwaast hai k apne ta'assuraat se be.kam.o.kaast aagaah farmaa kar naa.cheez ko shukriye kaa moqa' inaayat kareN:

saath hee yeh bhee iltimaas hai k aap bhee iss taraH per Ghazal kaheN aur yahaaN inaayat farmaa'eN. shukriya!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
==========================================

GHAZAL:

yooN bhee ham ko voh aazmaa'eN ge
:kyaa Khabar thee voh bhool jaa'eN ge:

Gham uThaa'eN ge, muskuraa'eN ge
aap ko aa'eena dikhaa'eN ge

iss taraH jaise baat ko'ee naheeN
jaan kar bhee fareb khaa'eN ge

haaN! karo sang.saar tum lekin
itne patthar kahaaN se aa'eN ge?

laakh dunyaa meiN ghoom aa'eN ham
tujh saa ko'ee kahaaN se laa'eN ge?

Khud.shanaasee Khudaa.shanaasee hai!
uss ko ham yooN hee DhooND laa'eN ge

dekhnaa aik roz paanee meiN
aag naaley mire lagaa'eN ge

keejiye ab Khudaa Khudaa :Sarwar:
aap kiss kiss ke Gham uThaa'eN ge?

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:


"Raz" se mil ke aap Khush hoNge
aadmee hai baRee muHabbat kaa

(Raz Chandpuri)
   
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Shimul
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12th November 2003, 06:43 PM

Sarwar A. Jee, bohot gehri aur dilki gehrai meh ek chupi huyi chahat ki baat likhhe hein. I think I really can't explain what I felt. It's more then what I wrote here. At this moment I just couldn't find the right word!! Mein toh sirf yeh kahungi, dilpe utarti chaligayi thi parte hue. Aisi gazal yeaha mein bohot kam dekhi aur parhi hu. You are very good poet I must say. Aise hi likhte rahiyega. Shukriya. Aapna khayal rakhiyega. Allah Hafiz.


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**
   
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Shimul
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12th November 2003, 07:10 PM

I think there must be a tec. problems in shayri.com. I hope it stay as it is now & not like before that we couldn't even enter this site.


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**
   
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