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Islaah ke liye
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janumanu
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Islaah ke liye - 17th January 2013, 11:29 PM

Sabhi yaar dostoN ko salaam... bhaye maine bhi socha ... bahti Ganga maiN naha dho luN.... itni gyaaN ki dharayeN foot padi haiN phir se... isliye maiN bhi ghazal islaaH ke liye chipkaa raha huN... aap bhi apni apni "rai" islaaH jo bhi jaise bhi chahe ... unke teeke chamkaa deN ... maath hazir hai ...

Saath hi meri dilli tamanna hai ki "Maikash" sahab meri islaah kare... aajtak unhone meri ki gahzal nazm par comment nahi kiya hai... Ahmad HYD bhayee aap bhi zaroor aayeN pahla haq aap hi ka banta hai ...

everyone is invited .... and will be respected ...

regards

-----


wo sach much hi bhool gaya ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai
ya fir yuN hi bol raha ho, aisa bhi ho sakta hai

khaali haath kiya bapis maine jise darwaje se
aur nahi koe woH Khuda ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

pahle Maa khud ghabrayee, phir has kar boli bachoN se
TooT ke chat pe chand gira ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

usko chand samjh kar maine kitni ghazleN likhiN thi
chand hi khud uska tukda ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

mere ilawa aur bhi kitne uske dil maiN rahte hain
shayad uska dil hi bada ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

halki fulki ghazleN kah kar shayar banta fir huN
uspe ye bhi uska socha ho, aisa bhi ho sakta hai

fikr na usko tum yuN toko, uski bhi kuch baat suno
chota bhayee tumse bada ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai



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zidd
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19th January 2013, 02:29 PM

aate hai vikas ji aapki ghazal par. mai shuru karta hu aapki ghazal ka critical appreciation..baki members phir apni apni baat kahte rahenge..

matle se start karte hai..
mujhe bilkul samajh nahi aaya. aapka matla samjhne ke liye mera dimag chota paD gaya.aur mai genuinly koi tanz nahi hai raha hu.
ek taraf se pakadta hu to dusri taraf se choot'ta hai.rassi dusri oar se pakadta hu to pahli taraf se chatakta hai.
pahle aap apka matla samjhaiye.
   
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janumanu
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19th January 2013, 06:00 PM

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Originally Posted by zidd View Post
aate hai vikas ji aapki ghazal par. mai shuru karta hu aapki ghazal ka critical appreciation..baki members phir apni apni baat kahte rahenge..

matle se start karte hai..
mujhe bilkul samajh nahi aaya. aapka matla samjhne ke liye mera dimag chota paD gaya.aur mai genuinly koi tanz nahi hai raha hu.
ek taraf se pakadta hu to dusri taraf se choot'ta hai.rassi dusri oar se pakadta hu to pahli taraf se chatakta hai.
pahle aap apka matla samjhaiye.
dono sire padhiye bhayee aakhir poora sher hoke hi baat banti hai ... Chaliye main koshish karta hun

simple ..

wo sach mai bhula baitha ho... Aisa bhi ho sakta hai.. Ya phir yun hi bol raha ho.... Ab sachmuch aur yun hi rabt paida kar dete hai ki usne... Yahi bola hai ki maine tumhen bhula diya hai...

Bhulaa dene aur nahi bhulane ki possibility hai matle mein.. Ik ghumaaN haijisme har ashiq raha karta hai
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zidd
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19th January 2013, 06:41 PM

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Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
dono sire padhiye bhayee aakhir poora sher hoke hi baat banti hai ... Chaliye main koshish karta hun

simple ..

wo sach mai bhula baitha ho... Aisa bhi ho sakta hai.. Ya phir yun hi bol raha ho.... Ab sachmuch aur yun hi rabt paida kar dete hai ki usne... Yahi bola hai ki maine tumhen bhula diya hai...

Bhulaa dene aur nahi bhulane ki possibility hai matle mein.. Ik ghumaaN haijisme har ashiq raha karta hai

samajh to mujhe ab bhi nahi aaya ,shayad aap sahi ho ,ki jo sabko dikh raha hai mujhe kyu nahi dikh raha hai, aisa bhi ho sakta hai

kabhi kabhi mind me kisi cheez ke liye ek block aa jata hai...jaise koi shaks 2+2=5 kiya jaa raha hai,ye mere saath ho raha ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

ab matle par aata hu....

vo bhula baitha hai (sachmuch ya jhute ,jaise bhi)... magar phir bhi bol raha hai,zikr kar raha hai, in short yaad kar raha hai (chahe 'yu hi') to bhula kaise baitha hai?
ab bhula baitha hai chahe jis surat me ye statement hai....to phir yaad kaise kar raha hai?

bus ye puzzle mera dimaag solve karne ki koshish kar raha hai.
   
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janumanu
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19th January 2013, 07:13 PM

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samajh to mujhe ab bhi nahi aaya ,shayad aap sahi ho ,ki jo sabko dikh raha hai mujhe kyu nahi dikh raha hai, aisa bhi ho sakta hai

kabhi kabhi mind me kisi cheez ke liye ek block aa jata hai...jaise koi shaks 2+2=5 kiya jaa raha hai,ye mere saath ho raha ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

ab matle par aata hu....

vo bhula baitha hai (sachmuch ya jhute ,jaise bhi)... magar phir bhi bol raha hai,zikr kar raha hai, in short yaad kar raha hai (chahe 'yu hi') to bhula kaise baitha hai?
ab bhula baitha hai chahe jis surat me ye statement hai....to phir yaad kaise kar raha hai?

bus ye puzzle mera dimaag solve karne ki koshish kar raha hai.
Bhayee aapka sawaal hi jawaab hai..

Wo sach much hi bhool gaya ho
Ya yun hi bol raha ho..
Yaha bolne se mata bhula dene ki baat se hai..

matlab ya usne sach mai bhula diya ya
Ya jhooth kah raha hai ki bhula diya hai..

Jaise kahte hai..
Tune khana khaya hai ya yun hi bol raha hai ( ki khana khaya hai)
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zidd
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19th January 2013, 07:24 PM

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Bhayee aapka sawaal hi jawaab hai..

Wo sach much hi bhool gaya ho
Ya yun hi bol raha ho..
Yaha bolne se mata bhula dene ki baat se hai..

matlab ya usne sach mai bhula diya ya
Ya jhooth kah raha hai ki bhula diya hai..

Jaise kahte hai..
Tune khana khaya hai ya yun hi bol raha hai ( ki khana khaya hai)
chalo iska radeef bhi hata kar dekhte hai ki kaha pahuchte hai...
aur bilkul dhancha bana kar dekhte hai

'vo bhool gaya aur phir kah raha hai ki vo bhool gaya'
.... pahle misre me vo bhool gaya aur dusre misre me vo kahta hai ki bhool gaya

to bhula kahan?...yehi to samjh nahi aaya.
   
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janumanu
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19th January 2013, 07:28 PM

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chalo iska radeef bhi hata kar dekhte hai ki kaha pahuchte hai...
aur bilkul dhancha bana kar dekhte hai

'vo bhool gaya aur phir kah raha hai ki vo bhool gaya'

to bhula kahan?...yehi to samjh nahi aaya.
bhayee radeef hata diyaa to baat kaha rahi
Aur yahi to baat hai

dono misron main doni baat ki possibility hai
Radeef hi iski aisi hai
Aisa BHI ho sakta hai
Dono baten possible hain
Main kahna hi yahi chahta hun
Matla to wahi kahega jo shaya kahna chahta hai
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Hamdam
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19th January 2013, 07:30 PM

vikas bhai namaskar.
main apke matle ko is tarah se samja hun..

ki aap kah rahe hain ki wakye main wo mujhe bhul gaya ho,
ya phir mera dil rakhne ko kah raha hai ki main bhul gaya.

pls dont mind if I am wrong.

sanjay sehgal
mujhe aisa bhi lagta hai ki shayar uske bhul jane
wali statement per doubt kar raha hai



khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.

Last edited by Hamdam; 19th January 2013 at 07:33 PM..
   
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janumanu
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19th January 2013, 07:40 PM

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vikas bhai namaskar.
main apke matle ko is tarah se samja hun..

ki aap kah rahe hain ki wakye main wo mujhe bhul gaya ho,
ya phir mera dil rakhne ko kah raha hai ki main bhul gaya.

pls dont mind if I am wrong.

sanjay sehgal
mujhe aisa bhi lagta hai ki shayar uske bhul jane
wali statement per doubt kar raha hai
Ji sahi ....
Kaha thoda sa different hai par
Ye padhne wale ki marzi

ki wo dil rakhne ko kah raha hai ya dil jalane ko ki bhool gaya hai
Ye kafiyat sabki apni ho sakti hai

And yes very welcome here

Last edited by maikasH; 25th January 2013 at 03:05 PM..
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Hamdam
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19th January 2013, 07:46 PM

ya isko aise bhi le sakte hain ki apko uske kahne
se ki bhul gaya ..me sharafat aur sharart dono nazar aa
rahi hain



khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
   
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janumanu
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19th January 2013, 07:49 PM

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ya isko aise bhi le sakte hain ki apko uske kahne
se ki bhul gaya ..me sharafat aur sharart dono nazar aa
rahi hain
jaise marzi le ye to padhne wale par hai
Sare haq uske hai
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zidd
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19th January 2013, 08:16 PM

vikas ji ,mai aapke matle par aitraaz nahi jata raha hu...mai kaha raha hu mujhe genuinly samjh nahi aa raha hai . jaisa ki maine kaha agar koi 2 aur 2 panch kar raha hai to bahut der tak karta rahta hai.

isko ab dusri tarah se pakadte hai meri samjh ke liye...
dheer sahab ne ek bahut beautiful solution diya hai aise uljhan ko solve karne ke liye.
unhone kaha hai ki aise situation me sher dusre language me translate kar ke check kar sakte hai, shayad koi result mile.
so ab mai usay translate karta hu english me ...aap dekhiye..aur aitraaz bataiye aapka

1] it is possible that he has forgotten me.
2] or it is possible that he is merely saying/~ he has forgotten me.(unsaid but implied)

"he has forgotten me or is merely saying that he has forgotten me,both the situations are possible."

apko anti- thesis shayad ab dikh jaaye jo mujhe dikh raha hai(ya lag raha hai ,par hai nahi)(shayad mai alag angle se dekh raha hu jo possible nahi hai)

if some one says he has forgotten you (ya yu hi bol ) then how can he have forgotten
and
if he has forgotten then how can he remember to say somthing( about you)...

================================================
haa agar 'yu hi bolne' ke badle aisa koi lafz hota
- khali / koraa dava karna ( empty claim to forget.the essence is 'empty' not 'claim'
-pretend karna
-dhong karna...to sab saaf tha.....

jaise
'it is possible that he may have really forgotten me or is merely pretending to forget me'

ab koi problem nahi.

magar ye kahna ki

'say'= bol raha hai.......to agar bol raha hai to sach much bhula kaise?
   
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janumanu
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19th January 2013, 08:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
vikas ji ,mai aapke matle par aitraaz nahi jata raha hu...mai kaha raha hu mujhe genuinly samjh nahi aa raha hai . jaisa ki maine kaha agar koi 2 aur 2 panch kar raha hai to bahut der tak karta rahta hai.

isko ab dusri tarah se pakadte hai meri samjh ke liye...
dheer sahab ne ek bahut beautiful solution diya hai aise uljhan ko solve karne ke liye.
unhone kaha hai ki aise situation me sher dusre language me translate kar ke check kar sakte hai, shayad koi result mile.
so ab mai usay translate karta hu english me ...aap dekhiye..aur aitraaz bataiye aapka

1] it is possible that he has forgotten me.
2] or it is possible that he is merely saying/~ he has forgotten me.(unsaid but implied)

"he has forgotten me or is merely saying that he has forgotten me,both the situations are possible."

apko anti- thesis shayad ab dikh jaaye jo mujhe dikh raha hai(ya lag raha hai ,par hai nahi)(shayad mai alag angle se dekh raha hu jo possible nahi hai)

if some one says he has forgotten you (ya yu hi bol ) then how can he have forgotten
and
if he has forgotten then how can he remember to say somthing( about you)...

================================================
haa agar 'yu hi bolne' ke badle aisa koi lafz hota
- khali / koraa dava karna ( empty claim to forget.the essence is 'empty' not 'claim'
-pretend karna
-dhong karna...to sab saaf tha.....

jaise
'it is possible that he may have really forgotten me or is merely pretending to forget me'

ab koi problem nahi.

magar ye kahna ki

'say'= bol raha hai.......to agar bol raha hai to sach much bhula kaise?
bhayee maine ye kaho nahi kaha sach much bhool gaya hai
Bas ye kaha aisa bhi ho sakta hai ..


Acha ab aap apni tarah se matla kahe to clear ho ..

Agar aap ye kah rahe hai ki.. Bol jab bol raha hai to.. Bhoolne ka shaq b nahi ho sakta hai
To maine ye bhi ni kaha ki wo mujhse bol raha hai..

Ek scene banate hai ..

aapko aapki gf ki saheli milti hai .... Aap uski saheli se poochte hai apni mahbooba k bare main.... To uski saheli kahti hai usne kaha hai ki .. Zidd jaan mujhe bhula do ... Mai b tumko bhula chuki hun

...

Ej gaana sunata hun
Hum bhool gaye re har baat .. Magar tera pyaar nahi bhoole..
Ab har baat bhi to kaha hai bhoolne k sath

Haan ek aur baat..

Maine ye nahi kaha hai ki "mujhe bhool" gaya hai....
to aapka jo zara sa doubt hai wo b ni hona chahiye mere hisaab se..


Doosra scene ..

Aap mile fir se apni mahbooba se aapne kaha .. Alka tumne kaha tha tum mujhe 2kg aaloo ki chaT khilaogi..
Alka ne kaha... Kab kaha tha..
Fir aap usse naraj hoke ek dam chale aate hain wo aapko rok b ni paati ... Mouka hi ni dete aap lekin kuch door aake hi khud ko bahlate hue kahte hai

Wo sach much hi bhool gaya ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai
Ya phir yun hi bol raha ho.. " ki vaada yaad nahi chaaT khilane ka" aisa bhi ho sakta hai

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Hamdam
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20th January 2013, 10:55 AM

are bhai Vikas ,
tumhare matle ki gahrai ka a ye alam hai...

ki ab main bhi sochne lag gaya hun...ki akhir kya ho sakta
hai..Masood sahib ki illustration aur uspe Zid sahib ki I
interpretation ,mujhe lagta hai hum sab gol gol ghum
rahen ,per good learning experience for me...

keep going...I will follow u every now and then.

sab hazrat se thori der ke liye izazat ..

Sanjay Sehgal
   
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janumanu
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20th January 2013, 11:00 AM

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Originally Posted by Hamdam View Post
are bhai Vikas ,
tumhare matle ki gahrai ka a ye alam hai...

ki ab main bhi sochne lag gaya hun...ki akhir kya ho sakta
hai..Masood sahib ki illustration aur uspe Zid sahib ki I
interpretation ,mujhe lagta hai hum sab gol gol ghum
rahen ,per good learning experience for me...

keep going...I will follow u every now and then.

sab hazrat se thori der ke liye izazat ..

Sanjay Sehgal
Bhayee suno padho
.... Fir jo dil kahe so maano
Mujhe lagta hai shayri sha,oor se aati hai... Aur wo aise hi paida hota hai.. Ulajhne se
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masoodhassas
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20th January 2013, 11:03 AM

zidd bhai aadaab

ban raha hai ye lafz to main ne tashreeh ke liye kaha thaa ye to meraa apnaa zaati lafz hai jab ki ikas ka sher is mafhoom ko pooraa kar raha hai jis haalat ki manzar kashi main ne ki hai jis me us ne BOL RAHA HO ka lafz istemaal kiya hai
   
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20th January 2013, 11:12 AM

zidd bhai ki baat ka ehteraam kartey huye ham agle sher ki jaanib barhtey hain jo ki yun hai
khaali haath kiya bapis maine jise darwaje se
aur nahi koe woH Khuda ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai

............................
main is sher ke sirf aor sirf mafhoom pe baat kar raha hun
kamaal ka mazmoon hai jitni tareef karun kam hai ....................... mujhe achhi tarah se yaad hai ki MUALANA LOGON ke 2nd last saal me ek kitaab parhaayi jaati hai jis kaa nam hai MISHKAAT us me main ne ek hadees ( MOHAMMAD rasool s.a.w. ki baat ) parhi thi
***** qayaamat me ( the day of jujment) ALLAAH ek bandey se poochhey ga falaane main bhooka tha tum ne mujhekhana nahi khilaya wo banda kahe gaa ALLAAH aap aor bhookey ? aap to is tarah ki har cheez se paak hain ALLAAH kahen gey wo falana paDosi jo tumhara tha wo bhooka tha ***************
yaani ki ek padosi ko itni ahmiyat di hai ki agar wo bhooka hai to goya ALLAAH bhookaa hai
jab main is haalat ke peshe nazar aap ke is sher ko dekhata hun to hazaar daad ka mustahiq sher nazar aata hai
vikas agar yaad ho to delhi me ham ne is sher ko baar baar farmaayish kar kar ke suna tha main hi nahi ASLAM NOOR ne is hser ko kaafi pasand kiya tha shaayad ASLAM BHAI ke sho'oor me wahi baat aa gayi ho jis ki jaanib meraa rujhaan thaa
mobaarak ho bhai
bahr lafziyaat zidd bhai ke hawaaley
   
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zidd
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20th January 2013, 11:21 AM

yaar ab tum mazaa kirkira kar rahe ho....hame bhala kisi monitor ki kya zarurat?
aur waise bhi yaha koi monitor nahi hai....moderator hai...matlab behs aur debate jo moderate karta hai.....( ab is example se aur torch mar raha hu ki lafz ki choice importnt hai)
maikashji moderator hai ,to matlab ye ke vo administrator hai , is section ko arrange karne ka unka kaam hai , koi zaruri nahi ki teacher ke role me aaye agar vo is topic par aaye aur judgement de.
rule me likha to ha 'ki ye ek peer group hai...equal standing members ka review..yaha ustado ka review nahi chal raha hai)

sab apna side rakh rahe hai kisi ko galat nahi tahraya jaa raha hai.

haa ye baat alag ki participation kam logo ka hai....so apne aap badega..akhir humdam sahab aye ki nahi? waise aur bhi ayenge.

aap agee bado bhai. jalebi mudda nahi hai...aap sahmat nahi to aapka adhikaar hai. jo pad raha hai vo apna apna matlab nikalega.
ye ek subjective topic hai..isme koi kisiko convince nahi kar sakta. sabko apna judgement nikalna hai vo bhi sirf uske apne liye.

Last edited by maikasH; 25th January 2013 at 03:11 PM..
   
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janumanu
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20th January 2013, 11:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
yaar ab tum mazaa kirkira kar rahe ho....hame bhala kisi monitor ki kya zarurat?
aur waise bhi yaha koi monitor nahi hai....moderator hai...matlab behs aur debate jo moderate karta hai.....( ab is example se aur torch mar raha hu ki lafz ki choice importnt hai)
maikashji moderator hai ,to matlab ye ke vo administrator hai , is section ko arrange karne ka unka kaam hai , koi zaruri nahi ki teacher ke role me aaye agar vo is topic par aaye aur judgement de.
rule me likha to ha 'ki ye ek peer group hai...equal standing members ka review..yaha ustado ka review nahi chal raha hai)

sab apna side rakh rahe hai kisi ko galat nahi tahraya jaa raha hai.

haa ye baat alag ki participation kam logo ka hai....so apne aap badega..akhir humdam sahab aye ki nahi? waise aur bhi ayenge.

aap agee bado bhai. jalebi mudda nahi hai...aap sahmat nahi to aapka adhikaar hai. jo pad raha hai vo apna apna matlab nikalega.
ye ek subjective topic hai..isme koi kisiko convince nahi kar sakta. sabko apna judgement nikalna hai vo bhi sirf uske apne liye.
are bhayee wo sab theek ... Magar main unka b point of view sunnta chahta hun.. Aur kuch nahi

Khair .. Aur mai to apni ghazal k sath hun ..... Baaki ka kaam aap sabka hai
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20th January 2013, 05:40 PM

khaali haath kiya bapis maine jise darwaje se
aur nahi koe woH Khuda ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai


only for tecnically minded people.

i think...

pahla misra is tarah wazn me ayega , usme jhol lag raha hai

' khali haat kiya hai wapas maine jise darwaaze se'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
waise matle par discussion theek nahi ab...chapter close ho gaya . magar mere dil ki khatak nahi gayi.
kya aap asia sa kuch kah rahe hai?

vo sach much hi bhool gaya ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai
ya yu hi mai ( vo) soch raha hu aisa bhi ho sakta hai?

=========================
khair , but we are on second sher now. pahle tecnical baat khatm kar lete hai...phir sher dekhte hai.( mere naariye se...masood sahab aur aslam sahab ka nazariya to saamne hai hi)

regards
   
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janumanu
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20th January 2013, 05:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
khaali haath kiya bapis maine jise darwaje se

aur nahi koe woH Khuda ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai


only for tecnically minded people.

i think...

pahla misra is tarah wazn me ayega , usme jhol lag raha hai

' khali haat kiya hai wapas maine jise darwaaze se'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
waise matle par discussion theek nahi ab...chapter close ho gaya . magar mere dil ki khatak nahi gayi.
kya aap asia sa kuch kah rahe hai?

vo sach much hi bhool gaya ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai
ya yu hi mai ( vo) soch raha hu aisa bhi ho sakta hai?

=========================
khair , but we are on second sher now. pahle tecnical baat khatm kar lete hai...phir sher dekhte hai.( mere naariye se...masood sahab aur aslam sahab ka nazariya to saamne hai hi)

regards
Bhayee... Ek takhta kam hai.. Accepted but .... Actualy wo typo hai....

Jise ki jagah jisko hai .... main padh jisko hi raha hun... Tabse soch raha tha kaha takhta kam huaa ik..

Khaali hath kiya bapis maine jisko darwaje se

ab batayen....
Ki .. Kuch tabdeeli ki zaroorat hai?
Suna tha kisi se "hai"lafz zaroori hota hai... Aisa hai kya?
..

Aur matla .. Mujhe mere wala hi jach raha hai..

Aap bhooolne ko ik dam bhoolne ki le rahe ho.. Ki uski yaadast hi chalee gayee hai...

Maine ye nahi kaha hai ki mujhe bhoola hai..
Main jis cheez ko bhoolne ki baat kah raha hun ... Uska kahi zikr nahi hai.. Wo kya bhoola hai iska koe zikr nahi hai
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20th January 2013, 06:46 PM

Quote:
Bhayee... Ek takhta kam hai.. Accepted but .... Actualy wo typo hai....

Jise ki jagah jisko hai .... main padh jisko hi raha hun... Tabse soch raha tha kaha takhta kam huaa ik..

Khaali hath kiya bapis maine jisko darwaje se

ab batayen....
Ki .. Kuch tabdeeli ki zaroorat hai?
Suna tha kisi se "hai"lafz zaroori hota hai... Aisa hai kya?
..
1] ab kuch change karne ki zarurat nahi,ab correct hai
2] 'hai' ka aapne jo kaha hai...to aisa koi rule mujhe pata nahi ,waise bhi rule hoga bhi to apply karne ka criteria ban hi nahi payega jo hamesha correct ho.

magar connector se baat jyada clear hoti hai aur agar proper connector lagane ki jagah hai ,to kyu nahi lagaya jaaye?....baat saaf ho jaati hai ,disjointed si nahi lagti.......

magar again magar.......

'mood' (jise 'tevar' kahte hai loosely) bhi bahut important hai. kabhi kabhi bina connector ka jo effect hai ,khastaur se jab koi declaration sa statement ho ya koi martial type ki baat ho ,to mood bana rahta hai.....aur surprisingly connector lagaane se misra disjoint ho jayega....yani in other words 'mood' effect ho jayega.....

lastly in sab ka matlab hai ki aisa koi codification shayri me nahi ho sakta....
a shayar who gets such things right more times is more appreciated and is more successful.
------------------------------------
( neeche darj baat par kahi charcha hui hai isliye ise example bana raha hu.)

thats the reason 'paagal' aur 'deewana' bina mood ki parwa kiye istemaal nahi kar sakte interchange karke,merely because it fits the meter. mere khayaal se ,inappropriate words se correct aur meaningful sher ban bhi jaaye to use sunane ki bajai khariz kar dena behtar hai. ....

,,,,needless to say its my personal opinion.
   
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21st January 2013, 08:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by masoodhassas View Post
zidd bhai ki baat ka ehteraam kartey huye ham agle sher ki jaanib barhtey hain jo ki yun hai
khaali haath kiya bapis maine jise darwaje se
aur nahi koe woH Khuda ho aisa bhi ho sakta hai
............................
main is sher ke sirf aor sirf mafhoom pe baat kar raha hun
kamaal ka mazmoon hai jitni tareef karun kam hai ....................... mujhe achhi tarah se yaad hai ki MUALANA LOGON ke 2nd last saal me ek kitaab parhaayi jaati hai jis kaa nam hai MISHKAAT us me main ne ek hadees ( MOHAMMAD rasool s.a.w. ki baat ) parhi thi
***** qayaamat me ( the day of jujment) ALLAAH ek bandey se poochhey ga falaane main bhooka tha tum ne mujhekhana nahi khilaya wo banda kahe gaa ALLAAH aap aor bhookey ? aap to is tarah ki har cheez se paak hain ALLAAH kahen gey wo falana paDosi jo tumhara tha wo bhooka tha ***************
yaani ki ek padosi ko itni ahmiyat di hai ki agar wo bhooka hai to goya ALLAAH bhookaa hai
jab main is haalat ke peshe nazar aap ke is sher ko dekhata hun to hazaar daad ka mustahiq sher nazar aata hai
vikas agar yaad ho to delhi me ham ne is sher ko baar baar farmaayish kar kar ke suna tha main hi nahi ASLAM NOOR ne is hser ko kaafi pasand kiya tha shaayad ASLAM BHAI ke sho'oor me wahi baat aa gayi ho jis ki jaanib meraa rujhaan thaa
mobaarak ho bhai
bahr lafziyaat zidd bhai ke hawaaley
haan mujhe yaad hai

Ik kahani raaja bali ki hau... Wo rakshash danavo k raja thy... Unki ik khaas baat thi .. Unke ghar se koe khali nahi jata tha...
Ek baar wo pooja karne baithy.... Taaki wo amar ho jaye.. (shayad.. Reason theek se yaad nahi)

To bhagwan vishnu ek chote kad ka bhes bana kar brahman ban k gaye aur... Raja se teen pair ki zameen maangi... Raaja ne garoor mai aakar kaha kuch hyda maango..
Tab bhi vishnu ne kaha ... Sirf teen pair... Unhone jaha naap to teen pair..
Aisa kahte ki vishnu bhagwan ne..... Ek pair se dharti asmaan ... Fir pataal nap liya... Teesra pair rakhne ko jagah hi nahi bachi
To raja ne apna sar aage karke kaha yaha rakh lo
..

aur shayad kabir ka doha b tha aisa jane kis bhes mai hari mil jaye .. Dont know
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