 |
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
(#81)
|
|
Registered User
 Offline
Posts: 1,473
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Sharjah, U.A.E.
Rep Power: 21
|
20th October 2004, 02:59 PM
HIya Behna,
Kitna rulao gi hume??? Hai, itni saaaaad ending. Dil bhi ro utha hai. Lekin i guess ek bohot hi acchhi ending di hai story ko. Zaroori to nahi ke har story ki happy ending ho. Pasand aaya aapka andaaz puri story mein aur ending was really good. Hmmmm, Kuch aisa nahi ho sakta, jaise ek Rajnikant ki movi mein tha ke usse uncurable brain tumor hota hai aur jab villain usse goli mar ta hai to woh uske ek kan mein jaati hai aur dosre kaan se tumor ke saath bahar aati hai???  Socha thoda aapko hasa luSalim If there are no tears in the eyes, there will be no rainbow in the soul Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you. We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#82)
|
|
Kureel
 
Offline
Posts: 2,700
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: new delhi INDIA
Rep Power: 28
|
20th October 2004, 03:18 PM
priye udas ji
hnnnnnnn...kehne ki jaroorat nahin ki kis gehrai se choo liya aapne apni savedansheel kahani ke jariye...aur sach kahun to yeh koi kahani na hokar ek satyakatha hai,,jo na jane kitne hi logon ki jindagi ke aksh ko apne ander samete hai... ek baat jo mujhe bahoot sahi lagi wo yeh hai ki pari aur aakash apni apni seemayein jaante hai..unko apni is jimmewari ka ehsaas hai ki unki jaatiye jindagi ke baahar unki samajik jindagi bhi hai,,uske kuch kartavya hai..jin par unhone aanch nahin aane di...khair...mein is kahani ke ant ko bura hargiz nahin kahunga,,balki meri nazar mein is se acha ant aur koi nahin ho sakta tha....kyunki pari aur aakash aaj bhi apni aur ek dooje ki nazron mein pak saaf hai..unhone apne jazbaton ki garmi se apne gharon ko jalne se bachaye rakha hai... pari ki naukri chootne aur uspar braintumer..yeh bahooot dukh pahunchane wali baat hai...bas yehi kahunga ki pari ko ab parchaiyon ke peeche bhaagna chod kar haqeeqat ko apnana chaiye...apne ghar-parivaar -bachchon mein apna dil lagana chaiye..aur khush rehne ki koshish karni chaiye.. kisi shayar ki likhi hui ek gazal yaad aa gayi pari ki daastaan padh kar,,,pesh e khidmat hai... ab ye hogaa shaayad apanii aag mein Khud jal jaayenge tum se duur bahut rah kar bhii kyaa paayaa kyaa paayenge dukh bhii sachche sukh bhii sachche phir bhii terii chaahat mein ham ne kitane dhoke khaaye kitane dhoke khaayenge aql pe ham ko naaz bahut thaa lekin ye kab sochaa thaa ishq ke haathon ye bhii hogaa log hamen samajhaayenge kal ke dukh bhii kaun se baaqii, aaj ke dukh bhii kai din ke jaise din pahale kaate the ye din bhii kaT jaayenge yun to ab tak kai kahaniyan padhi hai....mein bachpan se hi Manohar Kahaniyan padhne ka shaukeen raha hoon...hazaron kahaniyan nazron se guzri hai aur dil par chaap bhi chod gayi hai,,,magar aapki yeh kahani to jaise dil par ek nishaan bana gayi..kyunki yeh kahani mere dil ke bhi bahoot kareeb hai...meri daad aur mubaarakbaad kubool kijiye,...sada khush rahiye take care -MANOJ karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#83)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 3,732
Join Date: Jul 2002
Rep Power: 33
|
20th October 2004, 07:49 PM
Diii..
Jaanti thi is kahaani ka ant koi bahut khushi mein to nahi hoga, lekin is tarah se hoga yeh nahi socha tha maine.. Pari ke liye duaayein to shuru se hi sabhi kar rahe hain.. lekin shaayad ab triple speed se duaayein karni padengi, aur dekhna aap Pari theek ho jayegi... Hum sab use theek kar denge... Hum sab aapke saath hain... aap jaante ho... Khayaal rakhna apna Diii ~Prii "Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum.. Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sirf Tanu Ki ChaahaT...... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#84)
|
|
Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
|
20th October 2004, 07:58 PM
udas ji...
namaskar --^-- ek bar hir aa gaye hai aapki bazm main ... apne kuch ehsason ke sath ... aapke is kisse pe... udas ji .... aapki kahani padh kar wakai main dukh hua .... end wakai main dukh dayak hai... ek ladki jo bohat hi nazuk ... komal ... khubsurat ... thi uska aisa end ... kabhi usne khud nahi socha hoga.... kyun akhir aisa kyun hua ... kyun woh us aag main jal gayi... jiska gunahgaar aur koi bhi tha ... saza khali akeli bechari pe hi kyun .... bohat bura laga ... kuch kehte nahi ban raha ... kya views rakhun us par... jiski jindgi hi ab uski nahi rahi... kash usne thoda sa normall liya hota sab kuch ,... aaj aise halat main na hoti ...... jaise aakash ko koi fark nahi pada... sahi kaha kash uska pati pehle se hi achha hota ... ek jindgi yun waqt se pehle khatam na hoti .... jo bhi hua theek nahi hua .... sach kaha hai ... bura time aa jaye to kabhi nahi jata ... aur itni aasani se peecha nahi chorta .... aaj sabhi ko ek bat jaroor kehna chaunga ... jo mere papa mujhse kehte hai... papa kehte hai ... "sab pe bura time aur accha time dono aate hai " sabko pata bhi chal jata hai jab dono aate hai... dono humare darwaze pe dastak dete hai.... par accha time jab dastak de aur tab hum apne dimag ka darwaza na khole to... woh aage badh jata hai .. kyunki woh bohat buzy hota hai.... usko sab chahte hai sab chahte hai woh unke pas aa jaye.... par agar jab bura waqt aata hai... to woh bhi dastak deta hai... aur tab tak deta rehta hai ki jab tak hum uske liye darwaza na khol den .... kyunki use koi nahi chahta... koi use nahi bulata .... aur woh jabardasti humare kismat main aa jata hai.... isi liye kabhi bhi bina soche samjhe koi kam nahi karna chaiye ... jaisa ki pari ne kayi kam kiye... agar usne pehle hi socha hota aur kaise bhi usi mahol main jeeti rehti to kam se kam itni prob na hoti use ... aj woh aakhiri sanse na le rahi hoti ... khair jo hua use koi nahi badal sakta ... ho sakta hai ye soch sabko galat lage .. mujhe maloom hai iska jawab yahi hoga...."pyar pe kisi ka jor nahi" main manta hun jab ye sahi samay aur sahi tarah ho... kyunki hume isi samaj main jeena hai... aur agar is rah main badh jao to kabhi peeche na hato... jab enter karte nahi socha to jo hopta hai hone do... dil ko tassalli to rahegi ... kya faida ais epyar ka jo jindgi le le ... hum pyar kya jan gawane ke liye karte hai .... nahi ... to phir kyun ... apni jindgi ko barbad kar de.... jo bohat log bhugat chuke hai... jo pari ne bhuga mai sabse yahi kahunga seekh le isi se ... ki bina soce samjhe na kare kuch ... aur kare to phir dare nahi... apni jindgi tabah karne ka hume koi haq nahi.... udas ji really mera dil wakai main bada udas hai...aapki kahani ka end padh kar ... umeed karunga pari theek ho jae ... aur sahi ghar wapas laute ... janta hun kahani ka end ho chuka hai ... par umeeden na jane kyun peecha nahi chor rahi... aaj apne likhe do kalam hi yaad aa rahe hai ... marne wale .... kafan khud apna sath le aaya hun .... udas ji ...... aapne bohat hi acchi kahani likhi hai ... umed hai kayi logon ko isse seekh milegi ... aur woh apni jindgi ke kayi galat faislon ko gaur kar payenge... samajhdari main hi faida hai sab jante hai .... aapko daad deta hun aapki is kahani pe... har mod pe kahani ko rokna ... aur ek sahi end dena bohat mushkil hota hai .. aapne bakhoob nibhaya hai lekhika ka kirdaar... aapki kahani ne kayi dino tak bandh ke rakha hume ... aur kayi bar sochne par majboor kiya ... bohat khoob ... mere views sirf mere hai ... aapko kahin galat lage ho to muafi chahta hunn ... meri tareef teh dil se kabool kare .... jaldi hi main apni kahani pesh karunga... umeed hai aap aayengi ... aur sath dene ke sath lutf uthayengi ek anokhi prem kahani ka.... koshish karounga mohabbat ka har rang aur ek sahi ant de paun use ... padiyega jaroor ... aapkr views ka main intzaar karunga ..... aapki kahani main humesha yaad rakhunga ... kayin pal dekhe isme maine ...... in linon ke sath vida... waise jo maine pari ke liye likha tha shayad woh ek dum sahi tha .... hum ab jeene ki umeed chor baithe hai... waqt main haton ki lakeer chor baithe hai ye duniya kabhi raas aayi hi nahi ab tak jawani budhape se pehle sans chor baithe hai pyar kiya humene kisi ko gawara nahi hua lo uski khatir ab ye jahan chor baithe hai... maa ne sambhala nahi ... baap bechara lachar tha aankhon mai rahe sapnon ki tabir chor baithe hai bas ab waqt ginte hai sanson ke sath .. tere aane ki ab hum umeed chor baithe hai chalna hai na jane koun si ghadi main yahan se "pari" ke jahan ke arman chor baithe hai... ansoo aankh se girte hai...tujhpe "saccha_pyar" apne rukhsaron pe angar chor baithe hai... udas ji ..... yahi likh paya vida leta hun aapse ... aap aati rahiyega yun hi... aur hume hasati rulati rahiyega .,.. umeed hai aap hume nirash nahi karengei .... aapka chota bhai kunal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#85)
|
|
Yaadon ka!
Offline
Posts: 6,801
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: gujarat-India
Rep Power: 46
|
21st October 2004, 10:27 AM
hi di..............
sachmein apki kahani ke end ne udas kardiya..............lekin apne pari ki zindagi ke safar ko bekhubi lafzon mein utara.................zindagi hain hi aisi....na soche hue cheezon mein apne haath jala leti hain.......pari ka naseeb hamesha hi usse 2 kadam piche chala...lekin naseeb se koi nahin lad sakta..........pari ko sirf mila to bas uske pyar ka ehsaas......pyar ka dard bhi behad khubsurat hain........sahi kaha na?kahiko logo ko yeh pagalpan lage lekin pyar har tarah khubsurat hain......paaya nahin to kya..uska ehsaas kyapyar se kam hain?sirf kisko paana hi to pyar nahin.............?bas di age aur kuch nahin kahungi..........................pari ke saath hamari dua hamesha rahegi................... mausam Jaane kya samjhi main useN Faasla nazar aaya....Kuch kadmon ke saath se |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#86)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
|
21st October 2004, 07:37 PM
Sunita Ji..
Namaskaar! Aaj yah kahaani ka the end ho hi gaya.. Suru se aakhiri tak ek bas ek jakad dikhi hame aap kiyah kahaani mai…jo.. Bandhe rakhti hai.. padhne waaloN ko.. Kitni baar aaankhen bhari huya aur kitni baar sukh gaya pata hi nahi chala.. Pari ek aisi ladki jisne bachpan se shaadi tak koyi such nahi dekha.. Sirf sahansilata ki jiti jaagti murati nazar aayi.. Aisa laga ki shaadi ke baad us ke lifes mai change aaa jaayegaa aur woe k sukhi jeevan jine lagegi.. Lekin kismat ko kuch aur hi manzoor tha.. Agar aap mera khayaal jaana chaaheN tou pari khud bhi doshi hai apni barwaadi ke liye kyuN ki jurM karma jitna bada gunaah hota hai usay sahana bhi kam bada gunaah nahi hai.. Agar uss mai kuch kami nazar aayi tou determination ki.. Woe k padhi likhi ladki thi.. Aur nokri mai bhi karti thi.. Indirectly wo apne pariwaar ko chalaane mai ek aham bhumika tha us ka.. Usay jab darr tha ki agar uss ka pati usay chhor dega tou ghar wale bhi nahi apnaayenge.. tou kya hota.. wo khud ek nayi zindagi suru kar sakti thi.. Jab wo jao karti hi thi tou.. aisa koyi problem nahi aata usay zindagi basher kar ne.. Fir waqt ke saath har ghaaw bhar jaate haiN.. tou wo apne liye ek jeevansaathi chun sakti thi.. Kher jo bhi huaa.. ye kaheN. Ki wo pari ka durbhagya tha.. jo wo sahti chali gayii.. Kahaani mai job hi hota hai Pari ka koyi galti nazar nahi aati kyuN ki wo toot chuki thi.. Aur toota huaa insaan har baar sahi faisla le aisa nahi ho sakta.. Ab aap ki kahaani par shaamil hote haiN.. ek naya patr Aakash.. Pari ka us ke taraf jhukaab normal tha.. KyuN ki Pari ki tab jo haalat thi tab usay ek dost ki zaroorat thi.. jo usay sambhal sake.. Agar is moar par Aakash ki jagah koyi bhi aur aata tou Pari ka us ki taraf jhukaab normal ho hota.. KyuN ki wo pyaar ki bhooki thii.. Aur iss samay par thoda sa pyaar paa kar koyi bhi bahek sakta hai.. Yah baat tou kaabil e tareef hai ki wo itna jyada bhi nahi baheki.. Yah rista ek physical relation na ho kar moral relation raha.. Par mujhe yah baat samajh mai nahi aayi ki Aakash kya chaahta tha..?? KyuN ki aap ne jo kahaani sunaayi hai us meN Aakash ek sukhi baibaahik zindagi bita raha tha. Us ki apni patni se bhi koyi sikaayat nahi tha.. Fir bhi us ka Pari ki taraf jhukaaw kyuN? Woh chaahta kya thaa?? Jab usay apne pariwaar ki koyi sikaayat nahi thi tou.. usne Pari ki mithe khwaab kyuN dikhaaye..?? kyuN us ne Pari ki zindagi ko asthirata mai dhakela.. ?? kyuN ki wo Pari ko kuchh bhi nahi de sakta tha.. Lekin chaliye.. jo bhi huaa..pari ke liye jyada tou nahi.. kuch tou bhala huaa.. usay sambhal ne ke liye kuch waqt mil gaya. Aur jab usay kisi sahaare ki zaroorat thi.. usay mila.. Agar Aakash ki jagah aur koyi bahuroopiya hota tou Pari ka faayeda bhi utha sakta tha.. kyuN ki duniya mokaparast insaano se bhara huaa hai... Ab aate haiN kahaani ke tisre stage par..Jab Pari ke devar ki shaadi hoti hai.. Us ke devarani galat byabahaar se sab ka dil tootta.. Kher is se Pari koyah faayeda hota hai ki gharwaloN ke dil mai jagah lene mai kaamyaab ho jaati hai.. Aur ek raasta khoola naya ghar mai shift hone ka.. Jis se Pari ki musibat jyada tou nahi par kuch tou kam hua.. Pari ke Papa ka dehant hona aur aur Pari ko apne pati se kuch sahyoh milna taajub hai…Lekin Pari ke liye raahat hi hai.. Aur ant mai Pari ke Patike byabahaar mai badlaav… Ek normal zindagi jeena shaayad ye Pari ke sahansilata ka parinaam hai.. Aur is kahaani ka kuch dusra end achchha bhi nahi hota.. Lekin ek sochne wali baat hai ki Pari ne kyaa paaya.. us ne apne zindagi ka ek sunhara samay jab wo apne zindagika maza le sakti thi wo tou dard sahte sahte hi biat diya.. Ek achchhi kahaani… aap ne zinadagi ka safar yahaan likhen ke liye lafzoN kanjushi nahi ki.. Mayank |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#87)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 652
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: India
Rep Power: 21
|
26th October 2004, 10:56 AM
Quote:
jaroori to nahi ki hindi moovies ki tareh end khushi ka ho...aur such me mujhe nahi lagta tha ki kahi koi reality ko chhuti hui kahani ho aur itni sad ho to uska end khushi se ho...pata nahi kyu mujhe yahi end vazib aur sahi laga so maine is tareh ka end kar diya...sorry bhaiya...aap aur roai iska end par kar...lekin ab aur nahi rulaungi...ab end ho chuka hai...salim ek sawaal karti hu aapse...kaya koi apne pyaar ko bhula sakta ha...jo pari apne pyaar ko bhula deti...bas yahi vajeh thi ki pari aakash ko kabhi nahi bhula saki aur isi vajeh se vo chah kar bhi apne pati k saath vo khushi...vo sakoon mehsoos na kar paati thi...aur jab pari itni emotional....itni sensitive thi to ye to hona hi tha ki itni pareshaaniya usko koi na koi bimari to deti...aur ye uske depressions...ye uske fits hi the jinhone use brain-tumer jaisa rog de diya.... salim tumari rajni kaant waali baat ne to such me mujhe hasa diya...thanx aapki koshish bekar nahi gayi...acchha chalti hu...ab izazet dena...pls...thanx for ur reply... udas ASHK AANKHO ME CHHUPA KER GAM PE MUSKURA LETI HOO ******** "Haale dil to dil me hi rakhte hai, in ankho ka kya karai.n Jinse yaad main tumhari hardam aansu behte hai" ~~~~~ ** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#88)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 652
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: India
Rep Power: 21
|
26th October 2004, 11:11 AM
Quote:
aapke jawab se lagta hai aapne bahut soch samajhkar bare dhyan se is kahani ka jawaab diya hai...thanx aapse mujhe aisi hi umeed thi.. Manoj ji aapne such kaha ki pari ko parchhaiyo ke peechhe nahi bhaagna chahiye...lekin abhi maine salim ko bhi yahi sawal poochha ki kya koi apne pyar ko bhool sakta hai...maana ki pari k liye aakaash ek chaand hai jise pari chhotte bacche ki tareh chhone ki jid apne dil se kar rahi hai...na samajh hai..jaanti bhi hai ki vo uske haath nahi aayega...lekin pyar bhi vo khushbu hai jiske peechhe insaan mrig ki tareh tamam umr bhaagta rehta hai...aur thak jaata hai...aaj pari bhi thak chuki hai uske brain tumer ne use thakne per mazboor kar diya...koi to rog hona hi tha..iske end k liye..is trishna ko ek chaand bane rehne k liye aur thakne k liye..hai na..lekin shayad jab tak uski saanse chalengi....usko ye khushbu...ye trishna satati bhi rahegi aur khushbu bhari yaade bhi deti rahegi... Manoj ji aapki gazel bahut bahut pasand aayi...such me dil ko chhu gai aur lagta hai jaise pari k uper hi likhi gayi ho...thanx ise share karne ka.. aur thanx bahut bahut ki aapne apna kimti vaqt, apne kimti khayaalat yaha pari k liye paish kiye....thanx ki aapko ye kahani ek nishan ki tareh yaad rahegi....ek kahani lekhak ki safalta bhi isi me hai..aapne mujhe paas kar diya...mere liye ye sabse bari khushi ki baat hai...thanx again. ab izazet chahungi... udas ASHK AANKHO ME CHHUPA KER GAM PE MUSKURA LETI HOO ******** "Haale dil to dil me hi rakhte hai, in ankho ka kya karai.n Jinse yaad main tumhari hardam aansu behte hai" ~~~~~ ** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#89)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 652
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: India
Rep Power: 21
|
26th October 2004, 11:17 AM
Quote:
ha.n pari itni sensitive thi to use koi na koi bimari to honi thi aur kahani k end k nazariye se ye karna jaruri samjha...baaki kuchh nahi.. thanx priya...saath dene ka....ise saraahne ka...thanx a lot...u hi saath deti rahna..har mor par...har sukh dukh main.... urs di.. ASHK AANKHO ME CHHUPA KER GAM PE MUSKURA LETI HOO ******** "Haale dil to dil me hi rakhte hai, in ankho ka kya karai.n Jinse yaad main tumhari hardam aansu behte hai" ~~~~~ ** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#90)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,814
Join Date: Nov 2003
Rep Power: 27
|
27th October 2004, 10:50 AM
Namaskaar Sunita...
Himmat karke aaj tumhari kahani padhne aa hee gayi...malum thaa ki ending mujhe dukh degi...phir bhi aa hee gayi aakhir...tum sahi kehti ho hazzaaron log hain is duniya mein jo pari aur akaash kee tarah...chup chaap apne pyaar ko dabaate huye...khud jalte huye...dheere dheere andar hee andar khatm hote rehte hain...zindagi bemaani see ho jaati hai...lekin samaaj ki conditions...unke apne principles unhein kuch bhi samaj ke bahir ho karne se rokte hain... lekin main sochti hoon ki yeh bandhan kisne banaaye...ye limitations kisne daalin...what is right here...zindagi ko khul kar ke jeena...yaa samaaj ke liye khud ko khatm karna...hamein shuroo se hee condition kar diya jaata hai ki shaadi ka bandhan janam janam ka bandhan hai...saat janam and what not...isi ko lekar hum dil o jaan se koshish karte hain ki kisi tarah se yeh bandhan...saat janam na sahi...iss janam mein tau kaamyaab ho... khair yeh sab baatein aur doston ke zehan mein bhi hongi...wo bhi apni raaye zahir kareinge...dekhein kya kehte hain wo sab... kahaani kee safaltaa pe meri aur se bhi daad kabool kijiey... paras gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Haqeaton ki duniya |
|
|
|
|
|
(#91)
|
|
Paigaam-e-Aman
Offline
Posts: 2,689
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Patiala, Punjab, India. Now:Pune, India
Rep Power: 26
|
Haqeaton ki duniya -
28th October 2004, 11:54 AM
Sunita Ji,
Apki is kahani ka ant kya hoga...ye to pata nahi... lekin jaanta hoon ki khuda ke ghar der hai par andher nahi.... "Pari" ko itni khushiyaan milengi ki shayad khusiyaan bhi jalne lage.... Lekin yahi darr ab tak hai aur jo is zindagi mein dekha hai... ki jo khusiyaan baanta hai.. use bahut dukh dekne padte hai.... intzaar karonga aapki is kahani...ya phir haqeqat ke poore hone ka... Dua hai .. aap unhi likhte rahiye.... Apka dost... **(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*)** *·.¸Paigaam -e- Aman¸.·* **(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸)** ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* inhan ankhaaon vicho kadi, tere hanju vaghe si..... aaj ki hoye, jehda ^AMAN^ da lahoo vagda ae...... AMAN RAHI |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#92)
|
|
In Search of the unknown!
Offline
Posts: 248
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Shade in the shadow world
Rep Power: 20
|
9th January 2005, 12:35 PM
Namasthe Sunithaji, aapke likne ke baad bahut dino baad ye kahani pad raha hoon.
Mera ye adat hai ki kahani skim karoon par ye woh tode se kahaniyon mein hai jiska discussions bi skip nahi kar paya. Is kahani jaisa ek dukh bara kahani mera apne ki hain jis ko mein bi kahi baar dukh pahunchaya ta. For past 2 days the topic had made me review the aspects of the life. Aapka ye Kahani koi shak nahi ki haqiqat hoga aur pari abi zindagi ke din kaat rahi hogi... Mein kabi use poocha ki tum zinda kyon ho kya karna chahti ho kya paana chahti ho to usne mera tarah deka aur hasi aur apne nazar deewar ke tarah gooma liya aur najane kaunsa gehrayiyon mein ko gayi phirse kahi bar poocha to apne aanso bare aankon se meri tarah dekh ke boli kyon ki abi mari nahi hoon.... I feel the end is no end we try to escape from life but where we escape itself is life again... Shade in the shadow world |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#93)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 962
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 28
|
16th January 2005, 11:33 PM
Dear Udas ji, kaisi hain aap, sabse pehle to yeh kehna chahugi ki apki kahani ki tariff ke liye lafz nahi hai mere pas, maffi chahungi ki sabse last mein apne views de rahin hoon, par main puri kahani par kar hi kuch kehna chahti thi
Lafz nahin hain zehan mein mere Kya teri tarif karoon Koi shabad aisanahi milta Jo teri sachi tariff kare Pari ek masoom si bholibhali ladki, very patient, adaptable, hasmukh, kind, generous, sweet, beautiful (by heart and looks), intelligent, innocent Emotional, lonely, tensed, udas, Shabd nahi hai Pari ki tariff ke liye, puri kahani mein sirf parihi pari hai. Pari ki masomiyat dekh kar lagta ai, ki mano sachi ki pari thi, aasman mein rehti thi, pari ki ma use dharti par jane se mana karti thi, kyonki ek bar pari jo gayi ot wapas ane ka koi rasta nahi, puri zondagi use dukh ke siva kuch na milega, pari ek din galti se khelte khelte zameen par aa gayi aur use pata hi nahi chala ab kuch bhi nahi ho sakta tha. Aur yahans e shuri hui uski dukh ki dastan Pari ko bachpan se dukh ke siva kuch na mila, uska bachpan ma baap ke pyar ke liye tars gaya, sachibolon to uski zindhi hi bina par ke taras gayi Yeh kehna chahungi ki uski is halat me jitni who khud zimmedar hai utni hi zimmedar hai uski maa Ma ek aisa shabd haii jiske zehn mein ate I mamta ki ek oorat samne aa jati hai,bhagwan ji se pehle ma ka darja hota hai, usi ma ne use bachpan mein apne se door kar diya, uski yad tab ayi jab who bimar pari Aunty ke bare mein kya kaha jye, mana k who ma nahi, par ek teacher hain kya unhe nahi pata ki bachon ke sath kasie paush ana chahiye, aur jab pari unse doorhui tab unhe apni galti ka ehsaas hua, kyon who pari ke bina nahi reh sakti kyonki unhe koi unse pitne wala ya darne wala chahiye????? Khair pir pari ki zindai mein thoda sa sufdhar hua, uski ma ne use pya diya, han pari ke papa ke bare mein ek bat kahungi, thik hai who ghar se door rehte the par aisa paisa bhi kis kam ka jo unhe khud ko hi pura na kar sake. Kahani mein para ki pari hi sabse zyada apne papa ko miss karti thi Bachpan se hi pari ne tanhayi dekhi apni aur apni ma ki, shyad isliye bhi pari apne ma kid ant ko sunti taki ma ko dukh na pahunche Pari ke sapne galat na the, har ladki ka koi sapna aur khwaish hotin hai, par pari ki to jaise koi apni pehchanhi nahi ti, sabke hanton ki kathputli thi who koi bi use kasie bhi nachale. Pari ne sabke hoton par hasi layi par koi uske hoton par hasin nahi la saka, yani ki use kabhi bhi ek aisa sacha dost mila hi nahi jiske kandhon par sir rakh kar woh ro sake. Pari ke ma aur papa ne kaha ki agr who arranged marriage karti hai to who uski har problem mein uska sath denge, par aisa kabhi bhi kahin nahi laga, uski ma ka pari ke parivar se ladna samjhdari nahi thi, sath hi uske ma aur papa bahut hji kamzor the, shayad is bat ke dar se ki dujniya kya kahegi unhone apni beti ki problems janne ke ba bhi use us narak me jhonk diya. Agar who strong hote to pari ki is halt mein who uska sath dete aur uske sasural walon par action lete, pari akhir kis to sab batati Wkai mein lagta hai ki pari apne ma aur papa par bahut bara bhoj thi jo ki uski shaadi ke bad utar gaya, uski ma aur papa ki conscience bhi nahi thi ki woh akhir yeh kar kya rahein hai, yeh sab galat hai Yahan pari ki bhi galti hai agar zulm karma paap hai to usko sehna use bhi bara pap hai Uska pati to shayad insaan hi nahi tha, use shaadi sirf apni hawas ko shan karne ke liye kiya, sabne pari par zulm kiye yeh soch kar ki who ka,zor hai, agar pari thdi sib hi revolt karti to shayad uski zondagi mein kuch sudhar ata Apni kismet ko who kosti hi reh gayi, insaan apni kismet khud hi banata hai aur khud hi bigarta hai. Agar who kismet ko kosne ki bajaye kismet ko badalne ki koshis karti jo shayad halat hi kuch aur hote. Pari ki itni tabiyat kharab par bhi uske gharwalon ko uspar reham na aya aur na hi sasural walon ko, aisa lagta hai yahan sab hi jallad pravati ke tge(forgive me to use bad words here) Who kamati ti, to uska thoda sa robb usmein ona chahiye tha, agar who khud sab ki zarrorat ke liye har mahine saman lati to shayad kuch farak ata. Uski devrani ke ane ke bad hi uske sas sasur ne usko samjha par unhone kuch na kiya, jitna bas unka pari par chala utna hi apni choti bahu par kyon nahi, only because she revolted Pari ki to jaise self respect bhi kho gayi thi Khair pari e office mein who sab kuch bhul jaya arti aur thoda waqt tension-free rehti, pari ne apni collogue ko best friend bataya, are kahan ki best friendjab tak office mein thi uska sath diya, office chodne ke bad ek bhi bar ake usne uska hal chal nahi pucha akir kyon Pari ko fits parne lage, who kab tak yeh sehti, par tabbhi ghar walon ka behaviour kuch pal sudhra aur phir wahi Pari ke papa ko to koi action lena hi cchaiye tha, sirf unhe hi dikhaya hai ki who pari I zaroorat ko samjahte the, par unhone bhi uska sath nahi diya Aur phir ayi Aakash ji ke entry, jisse pari ki pyar hua, ya yeh kahein ki pari ne apni dosti ko pyar samjah liya, aakash ne hi usko apni baton ke jal mein fasanke yeh sochne par majboor kar diya ki yeh pyar hai, kahani mein aakash ne kabhi pari ke sath compromise nahi kiya, use to office mein ek khoobsurat khilona mil gaya tha, jiske sath usne phsysically to nahi par uske emotions se play kiya. Uske ghar mein uski bivi ti , kids the tab bhi usne pari se kaha ki he loves her, this shows he is a characterless fellow, kehte hain na “ghar ki bivi dal ke jaisi aur ki bivi lagti hai murgi” to wahi haal aakash ka tha, who janta tha pari kitna pareshan hai phir bhi who jan ke usse bat na karta, shayad who pari ko majboor karma chahta tha kuch galat step uthane ke liye, kyonki agar who khud aisa karta to wph pari ko kho deta. Who janta tha ki pari bahut hi emotional hai aur use kaise tackle karna hai. Use yeh bhi pata tha ki pari uske siva aur kahin nahin ja sakti ab. Pari ki conscience use yeh sab nahi karne de rahi thi, par aakash ki to koi conscience nahi thi use dukh nahi tha ki who apne parivar ko dhokha de raha hai. Hair kahani age bhadi pari ne ghar change kiya par uske papa ki death ne use hila diya, chahe uske papa ne uska sath nahi diya ho, par who uske liye moral support the, who apne papa ke sath atleast kuch to share kar sakti thi par ab toh who bhi nahi, par is sab se pari ke husband mein badlav aya, who uski kadar karne laga. Pari is change ko accept karma chahti thi par aakash ki wajah se na kar payi, woh dono ko hi nahi khona chahti thi, uska pyar dono ke liye hi true tha. Par agar akash use apni taraf majboor na karke uske ek good friend ki tarah uski help karta to aaksh ka role kuch damdar hota usne to pari ki majbooriyan, uske tensions aur bhi zyada increase kar diye. In the end I will like to say ki kash pari bilkul thik ho jaye aur apni pati ki mistakes ko bhulane ki koshish kare. Vaqt har chiz ka marham hota hai, use apni family aur akash ko apni family sambhalni hai, use ek tough step le kar akash ko ek good friend ke roop mein dekhna chahiye aur apne husband ke sath khushi ka jeewan bitana chahiye, who jeewan jiski usne hamesha se kamna ki thi. Thode din ke liye apne sas, saur ko bhi apne pas bulana chahiye who bachpan mein to ma aur papa ka pyar nahi pa saki par ab unhe apne pas bulakar, who us pyar ki bhi kami puri kar sakti hai. Akhir hum is story ki sad ending kyon dekh rahe hain, dua se to har icha puri ho jati hai. Hum dua karenge ki pari bilkul thik ho jaye, aura b to use apne husband ka pyar to mil hi gaya hai, sath hi sas-sasur ka dil pari ne jit hi lya hai. Ab to pari ki zindagi shuru hui hai us pyar ke sath jiski usne kamna kit hi der se hi sahi par shuru to hui. Kehte hain na bhagwan ke ghar der hai andher nahin. Par agar pari ki zindagi ke din pure hote hain to pari ko mukti mil jayegi, apne sare dukhon se jo usne akele badi hi himmat ke sath jhele hain aur who apni ma ke pas wapas chali jaygi, pari itni maasoom hai ki is dharti par usko samjhne wala hi ki nahi, who to door ek des se galti se is zammen par agayi, us nazok kali ka is duniya mein koi kam nahi zahan log apna matlab nikalne ke liye hi bat karte hain, who to ek phool ki tarah thi, jab kisi ka swagat karma hota to shobha se us par barsayi jati, kam khatam hone par parion se rondti jati. Pari ek haqeeqat hai ya fiction, pari ki kahani ka ye ant nahi ek shruaat hai uski nayi aura achi zindagi ki……………. Isi ke sath udas ji apse vida chahungi, agar mere views apko nahi pasan aye hain to uske liye main apse maafi chahungi. Pari aa tere ko apni baon me le loon Aa tere sare dukh apne karke apni sari khusian de doon Tu apni zindagi ke akhri pal gin rahi hai to kya Tujh ko main apni zindagi ke sare pal de doon Hamne to ji li hai apn zindagi Aa tere ko apni zindagi hi de doon Hansi ko dusron ke hoton par nachane wali Ab hansi tere hi hoton par nachegi Aa tere ko main woh saaz de doon Teri zindagi ka registaan le ka main apni zindagi ki baahr de doon Pari na mat ro ab tu Ki tere aansun bahut keemti hai Jo tune aaj tak aansun bahayien hai Aa main tere ko uski keemat de doon Aa tere ko apni bahon me loon Aa tere ko main apni bahon me le loon……….. Regards Nidhi Friend Nidhi - A Silent Tear "Shedding a Tear When You are Lonely - So Peaceful yet so Painful...." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#94)
|
|
|
Moderator
Offline
Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
|
2nd November 2006, 10:55 AM
Quote:
maine aapli story copy kar li hai, ab esko samey nikal kar jaroor padugi. aapki dost .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#95)
|
|
Moderator
Offline
Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
|
10th November 2006, 05:31 PM
sunita ji namaskaaR...!
aapki likhi hue yeh puri kahani padi, bahut dard hai es kahani mai.n , sach kahti hu ki mai.n kuch din es kahani ko aapne dimaag se nahi nikaal paye. par dua karti hu ki pari ki zindgi mai.n jo bhi hua ho, ab kudha aagey usko koi dard na de. jitney dard usne sahey hai.n us se bhi jayada kushiya uski zindgi mai.n aaye. esi dua ke saath aapki dost .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hi nice. |
|
|
|
|
|
(#96)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 5
Join Date: Nov 2006
Rep Power: 0
|
hi nice. -
23rd November 2006, 07:39 PM
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hi nice.story |
|
|
|
|
|
(#97)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 5
Join Date: Nov 2006
Rep Power: 0
|
hi nice.story -
23rd November 2006, 08:27 PM
NT="Arial"][/FONjT]hi hum pahli bar ye khani pade hai , uase to hum re pas samy nahi mil pata hai ki kahani pade ,koyoki hum ek doc hai , par kahani pad kae iasa laga ki hamrdesh mai iasi bhi ladkiya hai jo chup chup apana gum sah leti hai aur kisi se kahti hi nahi hai , ur adami jo hai ki har pal ye sochta hai ki kis tarah nari ka sosan kare , ias jabane mai pa na gum batna bhi ek kast hai , ek prop hai hamre samjh se apna pati ko hi ek achha dost bana liya jaye to achha hai , nari ek iasi chij hoto hai ki iansan kitan bhi sachha hoga to ek bar uaska jhukayo ho hi jayega , uase kahani bahut achha hai , likhe k silsila jari rakheyega ,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
story |
|
|
|
|
|
(#98)
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2
Join Date: Nov 2006
Rep Power: 0
|
story -
12th December 2006, 01:41 PM
hallo sunita ji How R u.............?
Muze aap ki story or sayri dono achchi lagi please aur kahani aur sayri muze bheja kare humari mail id gopal_shethe@yahoo.com he hum sayri.com kebhi usar he please aap jobhi sayri ya kahani bhejo hume yahoo pe cc kardiya karo thanks gopal may contac no. 09427453105 bye |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#99)
|
|
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
20th October 2007, 09:13 AM
Quote:
darde dil aapki najro se bhi gahra nikla |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#100)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 95
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Faridabad
Rep Power: 18
|
4th January 2010, 12:16 AM
Quote:
baki rahi kahani lekhan ki baat to ye mera first experience tha...aap sab ko itna pasand aaya is se badh kar ek lekhak ki khushi kya ho sakti hai..lekin aaj 5 saal baad jab me ise padhti hu to mujhe khud hi kayi trutiya nazer aati hai..anyway but aap sab ne ise saraha, itna pyar diya, itne acchhe rev.diye aur ant tak mera sath diya..me bahut abhaari hu.aapki kahani jab aapne shuru ki thi tab maine 15-20 page padhe bhi aaj bhi kuchh kuchh yaad hai..lekin me ab title bhool gayi hu...ho sake to title dubara batana.me raat to 10-12 tak net per rehti hu. dhere-dhere padh kar puri padh paungi aur apko rev.b jarur dungi. ek baat aur jo last me aapne mere liye jo nazm likhi hai use me 5 salo me bilkul nahi bhula payi...is se aap samajh sakte hai ki mujhe apki ye nazm kitni acchhi lagi..thanks a lot..koi koi hi itni shiddat se kisi k dard ko samajh paata hai.jinme aap bhi ho. thanks a lot once again.  ~*~*~* उदास पथिक ~*~*~*दिल की चीखे जब बढ जाती हैं और जज्बातो की आंधी रोके नही रुकती.. तो लिख लेती हू.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(#101)
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 95
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Faridabad
Rep Power: 18
|
11th January 2010, 12:10 AM
Quote:
such kehti ho mausam pyar ka ehsaas bas ek aisa hawa ka jhoka hai jo kabhi b aakar sukh-dukh me sehla jata hai.. bahut pyara ehsaas hai...baki pari ki kahani to jo honi thi vo hui. shukriya kahani k ant tak mera sath nibhane k liye. ok bye.take care.with love. ~*~*~* उदास पथिक ~*~*~*दिल की चीखे जब बढ जाती हैं और जज्बातो की आंधी रोके नही रुकती.. तो लिख लेती हू.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| eh kahani | sonamadhu | Shayri-e-Dard | 0 | 20th September 2006 10:54 PM |
| Hakiqat | Chaand | Aapki Shayri | 8 | 14th May 2003 08:27 PM |
| kahani | tanha akeli | Shayri-e-Dard | 0 | 11th March 2003 11:39 PM |
| Zindagi Ki Hakiqat | asif | Humourous Shayri | 5 | 16th October 2002 04:23 PM |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
