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zarraa
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9th August 2014, 04:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Masha Allah bohat khoob. .............
Shukriya Zainy ji ........................


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa
   
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zarraa
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9th August 2014, 05:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Zarraa saheb!

Be-inteha ilm ki taaQat hai aap ke paas...
jis danish-mandi ke saath aap ne tafseel biyaaN ki hai,
us se boht kuch seekhne ko mila... aap apne andar aik
ilm ka zakhera rakhte haiN aur hum jese talib-ilmooN ke liye
roshni haiN!.. Allah aap ko salamat rakhe...
aur aap ko aur humaiN kam-ilmoN ke sharr se mehfooz rakhe (ameen),

Apna khiyaal rakhiye,

DuaooN ke saath,
Bahaut bahaut shukriya Hassan bhai !! Bas ye aap ki mohabbat hi hai !! Mujhe dilee khushi milti hai aap jaise nek doston aur hum khayaalon se hum sukhan ho kar !!! Ye khoobsurat jazba hamesha salaamat rahe. Aap ki mohabbat bhari duaon ka tah e dil se mashqoor hoon aur khud ko bahuat khushkismat samajhta hooN aap jaise doston ka saath pa kar. Dheron duaon ke saath ... zarraa


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa
   
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zarraa
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9th August 2014, 05:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
wahhH!.... aik achhota khiyaal...
aap ka yeh alag andaaz hamesha hi dil chuu jata hai...

DherooN daad!
Nawazish Hassan bhai .......................................


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa
   
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Hassan
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Thumbs up 10th August 2014, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Zarraji galtiyoN keliye zarur tokiyega

Faraamosh khataaoN ko kis kadar karna?
Musaawee-e-azaab hai darguzar karna.


To which extent faults should be forgotten?
Pardoning is equal to punishment.
wahhh!! ghazab.. qatl...... kamal... be-misaaal.. lajawaab.....

tareef ke liye alfaaz nahi chhoday!

Allah kare aise hi zor-e-Qalam aur ZiyaadaH!


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
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11th August 2014, 10:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
kya sazaa doge kar rakheeN haiN jamaa
mastiyaaN har azaab meiN hum ne

- zarraa
waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....
Zarrasaab.... behad khubsurat sher hai
dilse daad.....
duaaoN ke saath,
Adil



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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11th August 2014, 10:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Zarraa saahab ke huqum ki tameel karte hue lafze Azaab par ek Qitaa pesh hai....



Qafas udaas hai aayee sabaa na yaar aayaa,
bahot dino se to ham ko bhi naa qaraar aayaa.
tabiyat huii azaab ke kuch din se dostoN,
na theek hii hote hain naa bukhaar aayaa..
waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Shoaibbhai, waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
kya adaaygii hai... kya lafzoN kaa khel hai..................
behad khubsurat qitta pesh kiya hai, Shoaibbhai..........
dilse dheroN dheroN daad.......
Adil



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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11th August 2014, 10:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Zarraa bhai jaisa ke aapne disccusssion bhi dekhaa hogaa lafz kafas ke uupar.....

what is your opinnion on this.... i request to aadeil saahab dont take this personal.... aapki razaamandi par hi maine is guftgoo ko aage badhaayaa hai....

zarra bhai ki raay ka muntazir rahunga..... aur agar ufaq saahab / zidd saahab dekh rahe hain ye thread to merii unse bhi yahi appeal hai.... ke rahnumaai farmaaen .... mere liye..

Shaad...
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
aadeil bhai, shaad bhai - shukriya ki aap ki guftagoo se mujhe aur pardhne waalon ko ek aham lafz par ghaur karne ka mauka mil raha hai - (bhale hi ye is baar ka lafz naheen hai ). saath hi shayari ke baareek nukton par hum soch rahe hain jis se mashq-e-sukhan bhi ho rahi hai. aap doston ke zariye is activity ka sahi maqsad haasil ho raha hai - aur lagta hai ki mujhe agli baar ka lafz bhi mil gaya hai - QAFAS

pehle mein is discussion ke key points recap kar deta hoon, jitna main samajh paaya hoon :

1. hum sab ye maante hain ki ye ek behtareen sher hai - pur-soz, pur-asar, kamaal ki manzarkashi kiye hue - ek baar phir se dheron daad Aadeil bhai

kamar se baandh ke khinchenge wo tere kafas* ko
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar* ki
(kafas = dead body, baar = burden)
Aadeil

2. hum ye bhi maante hain ki lafz "qafas" ka literal meaning "cage" ya "prison" hai. is ka figurative ya symbolic meaning construct kiya ja sakta hai "body" ya "dead body" ke taur pe, jis ki misaal ye sher hain (jo Aadeil bhai ne quote kiye hain - waah kya khoob sher share kiye !)

maiN hone ko yuN to rihaa ho gayaa huuN
meri ruuh ab tak hai lekin qafas meN
Sher Singh 'Naaz' Dehlvi

qafas ko chaman se siva jaante haiN
har ik saaNs ko ham sabaa jaante haiN
Nasir Kazmi

is se pehle ki apna limited conclusion arz karoon, mere kuchh basic observations :

1. Aadeil bhai ka interpretation hai ki "wo tere prison jaise body ko kamar se baandh kar kheechenge kyunki teri cold dead body ka bhaar uthaane ki punishment kise qabool hogi" - hopefully I have captured the intended interpretation, pls correct me otherwise.

2. Shaad bhai ki uljhan shayad ye lag rahi hai mujhe ki *"qafas" ka koyee direct connection sher ke andar establish naheen hua hai to use dead body ka darja kaise diya hai ye ayaan naheen - hopefully I have captured the essence of the question correctly, pls correct me otherwise.

3. Ek ye sawaal bhi socha ja sakta hai ki "dead body" ka symbol "qafas" hai ya "khaali qafas", or is "qafas" good enough as a symbol. Not sure if this point is also contributing to the questions being raised. I will leave this point as food for thought for now.

4. Waise, sirf zauq-e-sukhan haasil karne ke liye aur kuchh is loye ki ye sher dil ko chhoo gaya hai, is sher ka ek aur potential interpretation, jo zehn mein aaya hai, arz kar raha hoon - Aadeil bhai hope to have your permission for it - "murde ko uthaane waala apni kamar se cage ko baandh ke kheench raha hai (apni mehnat kam karne ke liye shaayad), kyunki thande murde jism ka bojh uthaane ki saza use gawaara naheen. haay, zindagi kati bhi to qafas ke andar aur marne ke baad ye zillat ki kaandhe par uthaaye jaane ke bajaaye laash kamar se kheenchee ja rahi hai". is interpretation mein "qafas" ka literal meaning aata hai -.lekin chhorhiye, hum us hi interpretation par aage guftagoo karenge jo Aadeil sahab ka hai - arrey! aakhir ye un ka sher hai, to interpretation bhi un ka hi hoga warna wo hamaare liye kahenge "maan na maan, main tera mehmaan"

ab apna limited conclusion arz karta hoon, which is based on my PERSONAL OPINION only and NOT on any sort of TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE. would be most happy to hear any counter opinion or any other views on this matter which will help my learning.

mere khayaal mein, learning ke liye sawaal ye hai ki agar sher mein kisi lafz ya jumle ka figurative ya symbolic meaning istemaal mein aa raha hai, to kya us ko sher ke andar hi establish karna zarooree hai, ya phir hum assume kar sakte hain ki is ka ye matlab nikal sakta hai aur use sher meiN establish karna zarooree naheen hai. to agar "qafas" ko "human body" ya "human life" ke symbol ke taur par use karna hai to kya "qafas" se related kuchh na kuchh sher mein honi chaahiye?

is point par ghaur karne ke liye main un 2 aashaar ka sahaara le raha hoon jo oopar diye gaye hain aur jin mein lafz "qafas" ko as a symbol for human existence use kiya gaya hai - this is not an exhaustive conclusion, just based on little observation...

maiN hone ko yuN to rihaa ho gayaa huuN
meri ruuh ab tak hai lekin qafas meN
*Sher Singh 'Naaz' Dehlvi

qafas ko chaman se siva jaante haiN
har ik saaNs ko ham sabaa jaante haiN
Nasir Kazmi

in mein mujhe aisa lag raha hai ki shayar ne kuchh na kuchh hint diya hai jo qafas ke literal meaning se talluq rakhta hai, aur aisa kar ke lafz ke literal meaning aur symbolic meaning ke beech mein ek bridge bana diya hai.

Jaise - "maiN hone ko yuN to rihaa ho gayaa huuN - yahaan "rihaa" bridge ka kaam kar raha hai shaayad kyunki rihaayee qafas se hoti hai. *ya "qafas ko chaman se siva jaante haiN" - yahaan "chaman" bridge ka kaam kar raha ho sakta hai kyunki panchhee chaman se qaid hua tha qafas mein aane se pehle.

is hisaab se dekhein, to agar is sher mein "*kamar se baandh ke khinchenge wo tere kafas* ko /*kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar - is meiN koyee*halka sa bhi hint aa jaaye jo "qafas" ke literal meaning se taaluq rakhtaee hai, to us ke figurative meaning ka lutf aur bhi bardh jaayega - aur ek behtareen sher ka lutf zara aur bhi bardh sakta hai - the good can become great !

yaaron, pata naheen main ne oopar jo bhi kaha hai whether that makes any sense or not. maana main thorhi bahaut shayari kar leta hoon, par mujhe shayari ya urdu ki theory ka itna sa bhi ilm naheen hai...jo bhi kaha hai bas intuition aur gut feel se kaha hai. I request you guys to correct me wherever I may have gone wrong.

waise Aadeil bhai, aap par rashk aa raha hai mujhe, ki abhi kal hi hum ne is thread par Faiz sahab ke sher par analysis ki aap ke kehne par, aur aaj isee thread par hum aap ke sher ki analysis kar rahe hain meri aisi kismet kyoon naheen hai, koyee me sher ko ghaur karne laayak kyoon naheen samajhta just joking, not to be taken seriously:

aur Shaad bhai, shukriya aap ka ki aap ne ek constructive discussion prompt kiya jis ke zariye hum aapas mein apne khayaalaat baant rahe hain.

duaon ke saath
Zarraa
Zarraasaab,

pehle to aapka bahot bahot shukriya....
yahaaN pe hameN aap jaise shoraoN se bahot kuch sikhna hai.....

aapka yeh maanna bhii jaaez hai ki mere sher meN aib-e-do-lakht paida hota hai.. aur wo iis liye kyuN ki kahiN pe direct correlation qafas/kafas lafz ka dead body se nahi milta...

aur aapkii dono interpretation bilkul sahi aur miltii jhultii hi hai .. aur maine kafas ko shariir se relate karne ke liye dusre misre (misra-e-saani) meN sard murde baar (cold dead burden) ka istemaal kiya hai.. magar shaayad usme clarity nahi hai.. aur yeh mere liye bhii ek seekhne ka zariya hai

vaise yeh sher mere ek nijii tajurbe se nikla tha... jis incident se mujhe kaafi dard hua tha...

aapne itnii khubsurti se aur itnii tehziib aur tafsiir se ye baat samjhaaii hai jo hamaare liye khaas maaine rakhtii hai... aur uske liye maiN aapka jitna bhii shukriya adaa karooN kam hoga...

Shoaibbhai,

aapne ye mudda uThaayaa aur uspe itnii charcha aage badhaayii jisse hameN kaafi kuch sikhne mila uske liye aapka bhii behad shukr guzaar hooN...

aur jaise ki Zarraasaab ne bataayaa, aur bhii shaayaroN aur shoraoN kii iis pe charcha vichaarnaa jaari rahegi to hameN aur bhii ilm haasil hoga.....

Zarraasaab,
hum meN itnii zurrat kahaaN ki aapke sher ko leke koii bhii savaal uThaayeN .. magar kabhii koii doubts honge to zaroor aapse iis qadar guftagoo ka silsila chalaayenge

duaaoN ke saath,
Adil



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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Hassan
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Exclamation 11th August 2014, 11:14 PM

chasm-e-namm, jabr-e-musalsal, azaab-e-judai!
ishQ na kiya! hum ne apna khaana kharaab kiya!


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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12th August 2014, 12:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Zarraji galtiyoN keliye zarur tokiyega

Faraamosh khataaoN ko kis kadar karna?
Musaawee-e-azaab hai darguzar karna.


To which extent faults should be forgotten?
Pardoning is equal to punishment.
N@zneen ji, aap ne galtiyaan ginaane ka israar kiya hai, to ye lijiye

pehli "galti" ki ye is qadar khoobsurat baakamaal laajawaab sher hai ki jitni bhi pazeeraayee ki jaaye kam hogi aur jitni bhi daad di jaaye is ke saath mukammal insaaf naheen kar paayegi. pardhne waala lachaar mehsoos karta hai khud ko ki daad-o-tehseen se ise nawaaze bhi kaise kyunki saare alfaaz kam parh jaate hain is ki taareef karne ke liye.

doosree "galti" ki aisa fusoon-e-alfaaz paida kiya hai is sher ne ke pardhne waala us se baahar naheen nikal paata aur isee mein qaid ho kar reh jaata hai. ab wo baaki duniya daari ke kaam kaise karega

teesri "galti" ki maani ki gehraayee is qadar hai ki jitna doobo, doobne ko aur gehraayee aage dikhti hai. pardhne waala ek baar gharq hua to phir use dobaara naheen dekha gaya. khaas baat mujhe is sher mein ye lagi ki misra e saani pardhne ke baad sher ke do maani nikalte hain, jo ek dam alag hain, aur ek doosre se kuchh had tak contrary bhi jo lutf paida karte hain. aur phir qayaamat ye ke wo donon maani phir saath aa jaate hain aur ek larger maani ki taraf ishaara karte hain. is hisaab se jo interpretation mere zehn mein aaya wo ye hai ki. kisi ki khata ko jo darguzaar karne us ke hisse azaab aata hai, par doosra maani ye bhi nikalta hai ki jis ki khata ko darguzaar kiya gaya ho us ke liye bhi azaab hai. larger meaning mere zehn mein nikal raha hai ki har haal mein azaab donon taraf hai, donon logon ke hisse mein aane waala hai, donon mein se koyee bhi naheen bach paata, aur ye bhi kab, khata faraamosh karne ke baad ! kamaal kamaal kamaal kamaal kamaal !

isee baat se mujhe Ghalib ka ek azeem sher yaad aa raha hai jis mein mujhe 2 maani dikhe jo ek doosre ke complete and perfect opposites hain. yaani ek hi sher ke do bilkul ulte maani nikal sakte hain. yahi hai genius of ghalib wo sher hai.

daayam parha hua tere dar par naheeN hooN maiN
khaak aisi zindagi pe ke patthar naheeN hooN maiN
Ghalib

is sher mein kisi ke dar ka patthar hone ko sab se barhi khushkismati bhi kaha ja sakta hai aur sab se barhi laanat bhi.

1 I regret that I am not perenially lying at your door. Shame on such a life in which I could not become a stone (outside your door)

2 Do not consider me as someone who is lying perennially on your door I would consider such a life a shame, after all I am not a stone (outside your door)

Sheer genius of Ghalib !

Sorry for the diversion. Chaliye ab N@zneen ji ke sher par waapas aage hain.

Ab aap hi bataaiye N@zneen ji, itni saaree "galtiyon" ke liye aap se kuchh kahoon bhi to wo WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ke alaawa aur kya ho sakta hai

bahaut bahaut mubaarakbaad N@zneen ji - meri dua hai aap ki shayari yoon hi din duni aur raat chauguni tarakki karti jaaye !

bas ek point arz karna chaahoonga just as a matter of discussion

aap ke sher ke zariye seekhne ka ek baareek nukta zehn mein aaya hai, jis par aap ki ijaazat se, kuchh arz karna chaahoonga. mujhe is nukte ki mukammal samajh naheen ho paayee hai ab tak, aur abhi tak pasopesh mein hi hoon is ke baare mein, to is par kuchh questions aur kuchh hypothesis arz kar raha hoon. agar N@zneen ji aap ya koyee bhi SDC member is par roshni daal sake to bahaut mehrbaanee hogi. N@zneen ji aisa mat samajhiyega ki main aap ki galti ginaane se katra raha hoon aur is liye gol gol kar ke baat kar raha hoon . jo main arz karne waala hoon wo aap ke sher ki galti naheen hai, bas ek baareek nukta hai jo mere zehn mein aaya hai aur jis par main koyee bhi mukammal raay naheen bana paaya hoon is liye ahl-e-mehfil ke saamne ye baat rakh raha hoon ki hum sab saath saath seekh sakein

Faraamosh khataaoN ko kis kadar karna?
Musaawee e azaab hai darguzar karna.
-N@zneen

is sher ka misra-e-oola sawaal ki shakl mein hai jaisa ki "?" se zaahir hota hai aur sher ke construct se bhi. mere man mein sawaal aaya ki agar ye misra sawaal ki shakl mein hai, to kya is mein kya koyee khaas lafz hona chaahiye jis se ye 100% clear ho jaaye ki ye misra ek sawaal hai, taaki agar punctuation mark naheen bhi ho, to bhi ye sawaal ke taur par hi nazar aaye (kyunki shayari ya kavita suni sunaayee bhi jaati hai apart from being read, to us ke misre ya panktiyaan punctuation marks par dependant naheen honi chaahiye ideally - aisa ek opinion hai, need not be a patthar ki lakeer ) to jo pehla jawaab mere zehn mein aaya wo ye tha ki jumla "kis qadar" ise sawaal banaata hai. par phir bhi kuchh udherh bun man mein baaki rahi, ki phir ye sawaal utha ki kya "qis qadar" ek genuine question waala jumla hai that means "to which extent ?" ya kya ye ek rhetorical question ka jumla jis ke maayne hain "to a great extent" and hence it is a descriptor rather than a genuine question. or ismit versatile to include both the treatments - a a genuine question and as a descriptor of "bahaut zyada".

jab is ka koyee mukammal jawaab naheen soch paaya to ustaad shora ke kuchh aashaar par nazar daalee jahaan jumla "kis qadar" ka istemaal kiya gaya hai

1. ab ke mausam ki adaa dekh ke yaad aaya hai
kis qadar jald badal jaate haiN insaaN jaanaaN
-faraaz

2. dil kis qadar shikasta hua tha ke raat "meer"
aayee jo baat lab pe so fariyaad ho gayee
-meer

3. kis qadar hoga yahaaN mehr-o-wafa ka maatam
hum teri yaad se jis roz utar jaayeNge
-faiz

4. un ke khat ki aarzoo hai un ke aaamad ka khayaal
kis qadar phaila huwa hai kaarobaar-e-intezaar
-hasrat mohani

5. shole se n hoti havas-e-shola ne jo ki
jee kis qadar afsurdagi-e-dil pe jala hai
-ghalib

6. ye zid ke aaj n aave aur aaye bin n rahe
qaza se shikwa humeiN qis qadar hai kya kahiye
-ghalib

7. kis qadar tum pe garaaN sub'h ki bedaaree hai
hum se kab pyaar hai haaN neeNd tumheiN pyaaree hai
-iqbaal

8. kis qadar seedha sahal saaf hai rasta dekho
n kisi shaakh ka saaya n kiss deewaar ki tekh
n kisi aaNkh ki aahat n kisi chehre ka shor
door tak koyee naheeN koyee naheeN koyee naheeN
- gulzaar ki nazm se

aashaar ka to lutf bahaut aaya par uljhan pooree tarah door naheen ho paayee . mujhe aisa laga (sahi ya galat pata naheen) ki aashaar 1,3,5,8 mein in ka rhetorical question waala version aata hai, yaani ye jumla question naheen balki descriptor laga, kyunki in aashaar mein "kis qadar" ke sawaal ka koyee jawaab naheen diya gaya hai aur is jumle ka role kisi cheez ke "bahaut zyaada" hone ko dikhaata hua lagta hai.

aashaar 2,4, 6,7 mein muamala thorha aur bhi pecheeda laga kyunki in mein ye as descriptor bhi fit hota hua dikha, par ye gunjaaish bhi hai ye question ka bhi hissa ho sakta hai - may not be an obvious question, might be a veiled question.

to jaisa main ne arz kiya, main bilkul bhi sure naheen hoon, aur kisi bhi doosre opinion ko tah e dil se welcome karoonga, jis se kuchh seekhne ko mil sake. jury is still out in the SDC court

lekin agar ek minute ke liye "kis qadar" ko as a rhetorical question ya as a descriptor maan liya jaaye, just as a temporary assumption, misra-e-oola mein shaayad kuchh hint daalne ki gunjaaish ho sakti hai us ko ek genuine question banaane ke liye e.g. "kis qadar tak" ya "bhi kis qadar" ya "chaahiye kis qadar karna" etc etc or something better than the examples I have given .... doosra option ye ho sakta hai phir misra-e-oola ko question ki jagah statement banaana bhi consider kiya ja sakta hai, e.g. "is qadar kara". but all these points will come only if and only if the hypothesis that I have stated is true. agar ye hypothesis galat hai, to "na khaya na piya, gilaas toda baarah aana"

N@zneen ji, this is just some loud thinking that I have indulged in. The misra is sounding perfectly natural and appropriate, I was just wondering that is there a nuance which we should be considering, just a small point for your consideration ... it is not conclusive and I could be entirely wrong as well. I would greatly value your opinion and advice on this matter. jis se mujhe bhi kuchh seekhne mo mile.

chaliye, meri itni lambi post pardh ke aap sab ko sard dard ho gaya ho gaya hoga. to ek saridon lijiye aur mashq-e-sukhan mein jut jaaiye

ek baar phir N@zneen ji ko dheron dheron daad ek shaandaar zabardast sher kehne par aur humein ek aur nukta-e-zubaan par discussion karne ka mauka dene ke liye.

duaon ke saath
Zarraa


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chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa

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12th August 2014, 01:01 AM

Bahaut bahaut shukriya Aadeil bhai, mujhe meri haisiyat se barh kar samajhne ke liye. Aap ke adab,tehzeeb, ilm, pyaar, mohabbat ka main kaayal ho gaya hoon aur aap ko dil ki gehraaiyon se duaein deta hoon

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Zarraasaab,

pehle to aapka bahot bahot shukriya....
yahaaN pe hameN aap jaise shoraoN se bahot kuch sikhna hai.....

aapka yeh maanna bhii jaaez hai ki mere sher meN aib-e-do-lakht paida hota hai.. aur wo iis liye kyuN ki kahiN pe direct correlation qafas/kafas lafz ka dead body se nahi milta...

aur aapkii dono interpretation bilkul sahi aur miltii jhultii hi hai .. aur maine kafas ko shariir se relate karne ke liye dusre misre (misra-e-saani) meN sard murde baar (cold dead burden) ka istemaal kiya hai.. magar shaayad usme clarity nahi hai.. aur yeh mere liye bhii ek seekhne ka zariya hai

vaise yeh sher mere ek nijii tajurbe se nikla tha... jis incident se mujhe kaafi dard hua tha...

aapne itnii khubsurti se aur itnii tehziib aur tafsiir se ye baat samjhaaii hai jo hamaare liye khaas maaine rakhtii hai... aur uske liye maiN aapka jitna bhii shukriya adaa karooN kam hoga...

Shoaibbhai,

aapne ye mudda uThaayaa aur uspe itnii charcha aage badhaayii jisse hameN kaafi kuch sikhne mila uske liye aapka bhii behad shukr guzaar hooN...

aur jaise ki Zarraasaab ne bataayaa, aur bhii shaayaroN aur shoraoN kii iis pe charcha vichaarnaa jaari rahegi to hameN aur bhii ilm haasil hoga.....

Zarraasaab,
hum meN itnii zurrat kahaaN ki aapke sher ko leke koii bhii savaal uThaayeN .. magar kabhii koii doubts honge to zaroor aapse iis qadar guftagoo ka silsila chalaayenge

duaaoN ke saath,
Adil


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12th August 2014, 01:19 AM

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chasm-e-namm, jabr-e-musalsal, azaab-e-judai!
ishQ na kiya! hum ne apna khaana kharaab kiya!
Wwwwaaahhhhh!!!! Zabarsast!!! Phadakta hua sher !!! Is mein masti bhi dikhi, dard bhi, tanz bhi ... jazbaat ki ek dhanak ho jaise !! Dheron daad Hassan sahab !!


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Smile 12th August 2014, 01:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Wwwwaaahhhhh!!!! Zabarsast!!! Phadakta hua sher !!! Is mein masti bhi dikhi, dard bhi, tanz bhi ... jazbaat ki ek dhanak ho jaise !! Dheron daad Hassan sahab !!
Zarra saheb...

jis andaaz se aap tareef karte haiN.. aise lagta hai jese
shayer ka likha takmeel ho gaya! ..

aise hi milte rahiye ga,

DuaooN ke saath,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
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12th August 2014, 10:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
chasm-e-namm, jabr-e-musalsal, azaab-e-judai!
ishQ na kiya! hum ne apna khaana kharaab kiya!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
kya baat hai, Hassanbhai...... laajawaab lafz bhii adnaa sa lagtaa hai iis sher ke aage............
dilse dheroN dheroN daad.........



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 10:42 AM

kuch aashaar hamaari jaanib se
ghuNghaT meN chehraa, aaNkHoN pe pehraa
kaisaa azaab ye zaalim naqaab hai


-------------------------------
rihaa huaa magar azaab maiN liye jiyaa karuuN
terii galii ko chhoR ke bhii ashq jo piya karuuN


-------------------------------
azaab-e-ranj se burii azaab-e-naar to nahi
jalaa kare magar tere azaab-e-hijr meN hi hum


-------------------------------
ulfat milii azaab milaa aur gham milaa
iis ruuh ko milaa bhii to qaid-e-qafas milaa


==========================



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 11:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
kuch aashaar hamaari jaanib se
ghuNghaT meN chehraa, aaNkHoN pe pehraa
kaisaa azaab ye zaalim naqaab hai


-------------------------------
rihaa huaa magar azaab maiN liye jiyaa karuuN
terii galii ko chhoR ke bhii ashq jo piya karuuN


-------------------------------
azaab-e-ranj se burii azaab-e-naar to nahi
jalaa kare magar tere azaab-e-hijr meN hi hum


-------------------------------
ulfat milii azaab milaa aur gham milaa
iis ruuh ko milaa bhii to qaid-e-qafas milaa


==========================
Wah wah wah !! Aadeil sahab kya kehne !! Aapne to "azaab" par aashaar ki ek anjuman hi saja di. Waaqayee aap se ye mehfil rangeen ho gayee hai aur "azaab" mein bhi sawaab haasil ho raha hai aur sabhi aashaar par aap ko dheron daad !!!


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

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12th August 2014, 11:47 AM

doston ... waise to lafz-e-azaab par ghaur karne ka aaj aakhiri din tha, par kyunki guftagoo abhi bhi garm hai, to hum ye silsila ek din aur jaaree rakhenge ... yaani kal raat (13th Aug) raat 9:00 PM India time ya 3:30 pm GMT tak.


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12th August 2014, 11:52 AM

kuchh bhi anjaam-e-ishq ho yaaroN
kuchh sawaab aur kuchh azaab hai ye

- zarraa


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12th August 2014, 12:33 PM

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Wah wah wah !! Aadeil sahab kya kehne !! Aapne to "azaab" par aashaar ki ek anjuman hi saja di. Waaqayee aap se ye mehfil rangeen ho gayee hai aur "azaab" mein bhi sawaab haasil ho raha hai aur sabhi aashaar par aap ko dheron daad !!!
zarrasaab,

aapke pyaar aur hausla afzaaee ke liye mamnoon hooN.. vaise maine ek galti kii hai ek sher meN... jo abhi abhi gaur kiya ... wo sher modify karke post kar rahaa hooN....

ulfat milii azaab mile aur gham mile
iis ruuh ko milii bhii to qaid-e-qafas milii


'qaid' lafz muannas hai, aur hamne ye gaur hi nahi kiya tha



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 12:37 PM

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kuchh bhi anjaam-e-ishq ho yaaroN
kuchh sawaab aur kuchh azaab hai ye

- zarraa
waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
kya kHub kahaa, zarraasaab.....
contradiction meN relativity..... waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! bahot hi khub



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 12:53 PM

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zarrasaab,

aapke pyaar aur hausla afzaaee ke liye mamnoon hooN.. vaise maine ek galti kii hai ek sher meN... jo abhi abhi gaur kiya ... wo sher modify karke post kar rahaa hooN....

ulfat milii azaab mile aur gham mile
iis ruuh ko milii bhii to qaid-e-qafas milii


'qaid' lafz muannas hai, aur hamne ye gaur hi nahi kiya tha
Waah !! Bahaut sahi change kiya hai. Sorry ye baat mere notice mein bhi naaheen aayee.


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
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12th August 2014, 12:54 PM

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waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
kya kHub kahaa, zarraasaab.....
contradiction meN relativity..... waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! bahot hi khub
Tah e dil se mashqoor hoon aap ki qadrdaanee ka Aadeil sahab. Shukriya.


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa
   
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Thumbs up 12th August 2014, 02:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Wah wah wah !! Aadeil sahab kya kehne !! Aapne to "azaab" par aashaar ki ek anjuman hi saja di. Waaqayee aap se ye mehfil rangeen ho gayee hai aur "azaab" mein bhi sawaab haasil ho raha hai aur sabhi aashaar par aap ko dheron daad !!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
zarrasaab,

aapke pyaar aur hausla afzaaee ke liye mamnoon hooN.. vaise maine ek galti kii hai ek sher meN... jo abhi abhi gaur kiya ... wo sher modify karke post kar rahaa hooN....

ulfat milii azaab mile aur gham mile
iis ruuh ko milii bhii to qaid-e-qafas milii


'qaid' lafz muannas hai, aur hamne ye gaur hi nahi kiya tha
waahhhhhhhhhh! waaaaaaaaaaaaaH! Aadil bhai!

Kamaal per kamaal hai!......

Aur insaan wohi kamyaab hota hai, jo apni ghalti ko khud hi samjhe,
aur ussay sudhaaray! hats off dear!

likhte rahiye,

DuaooN ke saath,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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Thumbs up 12th August 2014, 02:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
kuchh bhi anjaam-e-ishq ho yaaroN
kuchh sawaab aur kuchh azaab hai ye

- zarraa
wahh! Zarraa saheb.. kia hi baat hai! ...

seedhe lafzooN meiN.. seedhi sacchi aur mukamal baat... waH...
is martaba bhi aap ne apna hunar dikhaya hai..

DherooN daad qabool kijiye!

DuaooN ke saath,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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12th August 2014, 02:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
waahhhhhhhhhh! waaaaaaaaaaaaaH! Aadil bhai!

Kamaal per kamaal hai!......

Aur insaan wohi kamyaab hota hai, jo apni ghalti ko khud hi samjhe,
aur ussay sudhaaray! hats off dear!

likhte rahiye,

DuaooN ke saath,
shukriya, Hassanbhai......
Zarraasaab ne 1 din grace diya to jaldbaazi meN ek adnaa si galti kar baitha




ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 05:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Zarraa saheb sab se pehle to maiN arz karna chahooN gi ke be-hadd khushi hui ke aap ne shair ki bareekiyooN per nazar daali.. aur ahl-e-meHfil ko kuch seekh’ne ka aur phad’ne ka moQa farhaam kiya. toH Zarraa saheb aate haiN aap ke pesh kiye mudday ki taraf. maiN yahaN Mohsin Naqvi saheb ke dewaan ‘tulu-e-ashk” se aik shair arz karna chahooN gi:-



tu Ghazal ohdh ke nikle ke dhanak oat chupay?
log jis roop meiN dekhieN, tujhe pehchantay haiN



-Mohsin is shair meiN Mohsin saheb ne agar punctuation mark (?) na mention kiya hota to shayed hum misra-e-oola ko sawal ke taur pe naa letay!! … oper ke shair meiN Mohsin saheb ne lafz ‘ke’ ko sawaal ke taur pe istemaal kiya hai, jesa ke aap ki comparing ke baad lafz ‘kis Qadar’ ki wazahat saamne aayi, ussi tarah hum lafz ‘ke’ ko compare karte haiN aur dekhte haiN ke aaya mukhtalif shayeroN ne ‘ke’ ka istemaal aik sawaal ke taur pe kiya hai ya nahi:-



ae ke tujh ko khaa giya sarmaaya waar-e-heela gar
shaakh-e-aahu per rahi sadiyoN talak teri baraaat
-Iqbal



dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai
-Meer



dil yeh kehta hai ke shayed ho fusurda tu bhi
dil ki kia baat karieN dil to hai nadaaN janaaN
-Faraz



Zarra saheb (kuch seekhne/sikhaane ke liye)… oper ke sabhi ashaar meiN lafz ‘ke’ ka istemaal hua, lekin sawaal ke taur per nahi hua… to is se yeh baat saabit hoti hai ke Mohsin saheb ko apne shair meiN punctuation (?) mark ki zarorat kyun pesh aayi! woH aik sawaal pesh karna chah rahe the lekin baghier punctuation (?) mark ke woh apna sawaal wazeH na kar paatay! Aur woH jo baat kehna chah rahe they khul ke saamnay na aati, Chuna-chay oper diye gaye teeno ashaar ko mad-e-nazar rakhte huey idher maiN pesh karna chahooN gi janab Ghalib saheb ka shair lafz ‘ke’ per:-


ishrat-e-qatl ke ahl-e-tamanna, mat pooch
eid-e-nazaara hai shamsheer ka aryaaN hona
-Ghalib



is shair meiN Ghalib saheb ne lafz ‘ke’ ka istemaal kiya hai, aur misra-e-oola, meri kam-aQli ke mutabiQ, aik sawal hai… aur misra-e-saani jawab! Lekin Ghalib saheb ne punctuation (?) mark use nahi kiya…. oper ke sabhi ashaar ko aur in saari batooN ko zehn meiN rakhte hue hum qat’an nahi sooch sakte ke kisi bhi particular lafz e.g. ‘kis qadar’ ko sawaal ke taur per istemaal nahi kiya ja sakta, istemaal kiya jaa sakta hai lekin shart yeh hai ke jesa ke maiN ne sab se oper Mohsin saheb ka shair pesh kiya jis meiN unhoN ne punctuation (?) mark se apni baat wazeH ki.. chuna-chay jumlay ke hisaab se lafz ‘kis qadar’ ko sawaal ke taur pe istmaal kiya giya aur jumla sawaal hi lagay to punctuation (?) mark use kiya giya! Agar na karte to ‘shayed’ baat utni wazeH na ho paati… aur shair ka woh lutf aur maza na aa paata, lehaaza maza do-baala karne ke liye yeh eHtiyaati tadbeer ikhtiyaar ki gayi, jese Mohsin saheb ke shair ne jo lutf diya! Agar baghair punctuation (?) mark ke Mohsin saheb ka shair phad’heiN to utni tishnagi nahi bhujti jitni ke punctuation (?) mark add karne ke baad us jumlay ko phad’hne se bhujti hai! ... Zarraji maiN aik talib-ilm hooN aur itna hi samajhti hooN…aur itna hi mera ilm hai… kahiN koi kohtayi ya gustaakhi hui ho to abhi se muaafi ki talab-gaar hooN

PS:- Zarraji upar diye gae talafuz mere nahin haiN mere bahot pyare dost Hassan ke haiN jinse maine maddat maangi taaki mai apne sher ko aur apni baat ko thik tarahse samjha sakun, tah-e-dil se shukr guzaar huN Hassan ki jinhone mere sher ko samjha jaise unhone khud hi likha ho aur samajhne aur samjhane mein pura pura insaaf kiya thank you my dear frnd
waah Naaz,
behad khubsurat mudda uThaayaa hai ilmii tor pe

Zarraasaab kaa ab intezaar hai.....



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 05:30 PM

dair-o-haram ke paas meN jo e'tiqaad* huva
har uun azaab-e-jaa.n** se mai.n aur sa.ng-zaad*** huva


When I started believing* in regards of temples & mosques (religion/faith),
I became even more heartless*** with each of that suffering** (which I got from belief)



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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12th August 2014, 07:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
dair-o-haram ke paas meN jo e'tiqaad* huva
har uun azaab-e-jaa.n** se mai.n aur sa.ng-zaad*** huva


When I started believing* in regards of temples & mosques (religion/faith),
I became even more heartless*** with each of that suffering** (which I got from belief)
good one..............................
.....




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
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12th August 2014, 11:09 PM

[QUOTE=N@zneen;465189]Really my sher is so good ......
......
... samajhne aur samjhane mein pura pura insaaf kiya thank you my dear frnd


N@zneen ji, aap ka sher har maayne mein daad aur pazeeraaye ka haqdaar tha to isiliye main ne us ki taareef ki hai.

Aap ne aur Hassan sahab ne waaqayee behtareen analysis aur daleelein pesh kareen hain. bahaut bahaut khoob !! Pardhne mein bhi lutf e guftagu e sukhan haasil hua aur kaafi kuchh seekhne ko bhi mila. Aap donon ka tah e dil se shukrguzaar hoon !

Aap ki baat padh ke ab mujhe bhi aisa hi lag raha hai ki kisi misre ko sawaal ki shakl dene ke liye ye zarooree naheen ki koyee khaas lafz istemaal mein aaye jo us misre ko sawaal ki identity de. Aa bhi sakta hai, naheen bhi ho sakta hai, there is no constraint in this matter.

jo aashaar aap ne aur Hassan sahab ne quote kiye, aur kuchh jo main ne quote kiye the, un mein koyee specific word naheen mil paaya jo unhein sawaal bana raha ho. It is done either through a "?" or via interpretation of the reader. Waise agar kabhi ye baat pooree tarah waaze n bhi ho sake ki misra sawaal hai ya naheen, to us kashmakash se bhi lutf aur maani paida ho sakta hai Rahi baat punctuation mark jaise "?" ke zariye misre ke interpretation ko communicate karne ki, to agar ye mashhoor aur mane huwe shora ne kiya hua hai, jis ki misaal aap ne di, to phir is mein koyee dikkat naheen nazar aati mujhe (haan bas agar kisi mushayare ya mefhi mein aap aisa sher suna rahe hon to voice modulation aur verbal dramatisation se hi "?" ka effect create karna hoga )

Chaliye, ye oopar waali baatein to saaf ho gayeen hain (at least mere mind mein, koyee aur member is par comment karna chaahein to most welcome ) Bahaut bahaut shukriya Na@zneen ji mere doubts ko clear karne ke liye, and compliments for fabulous commentary and research to you and Hassan sahab

Bas ek do si baatein arz karna chaahoonga ... Ghalib aur Meer ke quoted aashaar par. ye mere do sab se zyaada pasandeeda shayar hain, jin ko main idol maanta hoon, to in ke aashaar par kuchh kahe bina raha naheen jaata to kuchh arz karne ki ijaazat chaahoonga. Waise jo main neeche kehne waala hoon, us se oopar wale conclusions par koyee bhi fark naheen parhega .... this is a different aspect what I am going to talk about, and would look forward to comments and opinions, and counter opinion is most most welcome

aap se ye ilteja hai ki Ghalib ke is sher ko meherbaanee kar ke ek baar phir se check kar lein

ishrat e qatl ke ahl e tamanna, mat pooch
eid e nazaara hai shamsheer ka aryaaN hona
Ghalib

is ka misra e oola behr mein naheen lag raha hai. is ka jo version main ne pardha hua hai wo hai "ishrat e qatlgah e ahl e tamanna mat pooch". behad hi umdah aur baakamaal sher hai ye - wordplay aur meaning ki kya jalwagari hai is mein - "jab qatlgaah mein talwaar nangi hoti hai to eid ke chaand ke nazaare jaisa gumaan hota hai passionate logon ko". neeche ek link paste kar raha hoon jis mein is ki tafseel se umdah commentary kari gayee hai.

http://www.columbia.edu/itc/mealac/p...17/17_05.html?

Aap ne ek aur behad hi khoobsurat aur mashhoor sher quote kiya., Meer ka ...

dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai
Meer

is sher ki khoosbsurti aur husn ki jitni taareef ki jaaye kam hai. ek seedhe saade se lagne waale sher mein Meer ke genius ne bahaut se maani chupa ke rakkhe hain. is sher mein mujhe question aur answer ka ek complicated system mehsoos ho raha hai, jis se bahaut saare interpretations imagine kiye ja sakte hain.below are my personal interpretations only and not technical or expert opinion ....

1st interpretation : donon misre questions hain


dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai ?
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai ?

misra e oola mein "dekh to" aur "ke" usey question bana dete hain, kyunki dhunwe ka source between dil aur jaan kya hai ye sure naheen hai. yahi lack of surety, misra e saani mein ek aur question ke roop mein reinforce hoti hai "kahaan" ke zariye, ki in donon mein se source kaun sa hai ye sure naheen hain. yaani ki Meer sahab ne question ka answer bhi question se diya hai

2nd interpretation : oola is a statement and sani is a question
dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai.
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai ?

agar misra e oola ko question naheen maanein aur kahein ki "dekh to" ek instruction hai, aur misra e saani ko "kaheen" ki wajah se question hi maanein, to maze ki baat hai ki sher mein pehle answer aata hai aur us ke baad question

3rd interpretation : oola is a question and saani is a statement
dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai ?
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai.

oola ko question maan sakte hain ki "where is the smoke emanating from, between dil and jaan" aur phir saani ko as a statement interpret kar sakte hain ki "make it clear the where this smoke emanates from"

I'm sure there can be many more interpretations of this genius sher by the genius shayar Meer. It is possible some of the above interpretations may be incorrect, in which case please do point them out.

Chaliye, aap sab ka kaafi waqt le liya. ek baar phir se N@zneen ji aur Hassan bhai ka bahaut bahaut shukriya jo unhonein apne bahaut hi khoobsurat aur umdah khayaalaat hamaare saath baante, jin se is activity ka sahi maqsad haasil hua.

dheron duaein ke saath
Zarraa


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa

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12th August 2014, 11:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
dair-o-haram ke paas meN jo e'tiqaad* huva
har uun azaab-e-jaa.n** se mai.n aur sa.ng-zaad*** huva


When I started believing* in regards of temples & mosques (religion/faith),
I became even more heartless*** with each of that suffering** (which I got from belief)
Waah !! Bahaut hi gehra phalsaphaana sher hai !! Translation dene ka bhi shukriya. Aap ka ilm-e-alfaaz bahaut hi gehra hai !! Dheron daad Aadeil sahab !!


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

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12th August 2014, 11:19 PM

Quote:
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Mujhe bhi zarraji ke reply ka intezar hai Hassan was a great help, this is frst time m getting involved in sher interpretation n discussion still a novice tough and its an honour zarraji ne mere sher ko is qabil samjha
Sher par interpetation aur discussion ka bahaut hi asardaar aaghaaz kiya hai aap ne N@zneen ji. Great start, keep it up and keep flying higher !!!


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

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12th August 2014, 11:32 PM

moHterma Nazneen SaHiba , Mohteram Hassan Bhai app dono ka beHad mamnoon hoN app ne bahut umda sawal poocha or moHteram zarra SaHb ka bhi jinhoN ne iska behtareen Jawab diya


yaqeenan app sabhi se mujh jaisy talib ElmoN ko bahut kuch seekhny ko mila hai or aainda bhi aisy hi milta rahy ga

app sabhi ka beHad shukriayh , reps +++


kuch kahoN to sharm saar hoN
chup rahoN to guneh gaar hoN

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Smile 12th August 2014, 11:36 PM

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Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
aap se ye ilteja hai ki Ghalib ke is sher ko meherbaanee kar ke ek baar phir se check kar lein

ishrat e qatl ke ahl e tamanna, mat pooch
eid e nazaara hai shamsheer ka aryaaN hona
Ghalib

is ka misra e oola behr mein naheen lag raha hai. is ka jo version main ne pardha hua hai wo hai "ishrat e qatlgah e ahl e tamanna mat pooch". behad hi umdah aur baakamaal sher hai ye - wordplay aur meaning ki kya jalwagari hai is mein - "jab qatlgaah mein talwaar nangi hoti hai to eid ke chaand ke nazaare jaisa gumaan hota hai passionate logon ko". neeche ek link paste kar raha hoon jis mein is ki tafseel se umdah commentary kari gayee hai.

Zarra saheb.. jo shair post kiya gaya! Ghalib saheb ki ghazal se hai..
mukammal ghazal pesh-e-nazar hai:-



Quote:
Aap ne ek aur behad hi khoobsurat aur mashhoor sher quote kiya., Meer ka ...

dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai
Meer
is sher ki khoosbsurti aur husn ki jitni taareef ki jaaye kam hai. ek seedhe saade se lagne waale sher mein Meer ke genius ne bahaut se maani chupa ke rakkhe hain. is sher mein mujhe question aur answer ka ek complicated system mehsoos ho raha hai, jis se bahaut saare interpretations imagine kiye ja sakte hain.below are my personal interpretations only and not technical or expert opinion ....

1st interpretation : donon misre questions hain

dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai ?
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai ?

misra e oola mein "dekh to" aur "ke" usey question bana dete hain, kyunki dhunwe ka source kya hai ye sure naheen hai. *yahi lack of surety, misra e saani mein ek aur question ke roop mein reinforce hoti hai "kahaan" ke zariye. yaani ki Meer sahab ne question ka answer bhi question se diya hai

2nd interpretation : oola is a statement and sani is a question
dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai.
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai ?

agar misra e oola ko question naheen maanein aur kahein ki "dekh to" ek instruction hai, aur misra e saani ko "kaheen" ki wajah se question hi maanein, to maze ki baat hai ki sher mein pehle answer aata hai aur us ke baad question

3rd interpretation : oola is a question and saani is a statement
dekh toH dil ke jaaN se uth’ta hai ?
yeh dhuaaN sa kahaN se uth’ta hai.

oola ko question maan sakte hain ki "is it dil or is it jaan" aur phir saani ko as a statement interpret kar sakte hain ki "make it clear the where this smoke emanates from"

I'm sure there can be many more interpretations of this genius sher by the genius shayar Meer. It is possible some of the above interpretations may be incorrect, in which case please do point them out.
Zarraa saheb hur shayer ki apni soch aur nazariya hota hai...
maiN oper di gayi aap ki sabhi interpretations se mutafiQ (sehmat) hooN!

Aise hi hamari madad aur hausla afzaai karte rahiye ga!

Apna khiyaal rakhiye ga,

DuaooN ke saath,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")

Last edited by Hassan; 12th August 2014 at 11:47 PM..
   
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12th August 2014, 11:54 PM

moHteram Hassan bhai mere pass jo Ghalib saHb ke deewan ka nusKha hai us mai kuch youN hai sher

عشرتِ قتل گہِ اہل تمنا، مت پوچھ
عیدِ نظّارہ ہے شمشیر کا عریاں ہونا


aur degar jaghoN mai bhi kuch issi tereH hai

https://www.facebook.com/urdu.duniya...32888153476569
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kuch kahoN to sharm saar hoN
chup rahoN to guneh gaar hoN

Last edited by Mujeeb; 12th August 2014 at 11:57 PM..
   
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Hassan
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12th August 2014, 11:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mujeeb View Post
moHteram Hassan bhai mere pass jo Ghalib saHb ke deewan ka nusKha hai us mai kuch youN hai sher

عشرتِ قتل گہِ اہل تمنا، مت پوچھ
عیدِ نظّارہ ہے شمشیر کا عریاں ہونا


aur degar jaghoN mai bhi kuch issi tereH hai

https://www.facebook.com/urdu.duniya...32888153476569
http://urduhaijiskanam.yolasite.com/...9%84%D8%A8.php
Mujeeb bhai!

For example liya tha Ghalib saheb ki ghazal se yeh shair,
socha nahi tha ke kisi ne ghazal meiN is Qism ki changes ki hoN gi.....



*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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Smile 13th August 2014, 02:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
PS:- Zarraji upar diye gae talafuz mere nahin haiN mere bahot pyare dost Hassan ke haiN jinse maine maddat maangi taaki mai apne sher ko aur apni baat ko thik tarahse samjha sakun, tah-e-dil se shukr guzaar huN Hassan ki jinhone mere sher ko samjha jaise unhone khud hi likha ho aur samajhne aur samjhane mein pura pura insaaf kiya thank you my dear frnd
my pleasure dear! I'll always be there (insha Allah) wherever required!


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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Hassan
Some Mirrors Lie...
Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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Thumbs up 13th August 2014, 02:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
dair-o-haram ke paas meN jo e'tiqaad* huva
har uun azaab-e-jaa.n** se mai.n aur sa.ng-zaad*** huva


When I started believing* in regards of temples & mosques (religion/faith),
I became even more heartless*** with each of that suffering** (which I got from belief)
wahhH wahhH .. Adil bhai...

ghazab dhaa diya janab.. bohat bohat khoob..
lekin koshish kijiye ke lafzoN ko jitna mumkin ho sake joD ke likheN..
us taraH hazireeN ko phad'ne meiN bhi asaani rahe gi aur samajhne meiN bhi!

aate rahiye,,
mehfil roshan karte rahiye,,

DuaooN ke saath,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")

Last edited by Hassan; 13th August 2014 at 02:30 AM..
   
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Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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Post 13th August 2014, 02:39 AM

Zarraa saheb.. kal hum thode se free the, aur mood meiN bhi the ke kuch shayri ki jaye..
fusoon ka lafz 'azaab' bhi zehn meiN tha.. toH younhi aapas ki guftugu ke doraaN
Naaz aur iss na-cheez ne yeH Qit'a tarteeb diya....


woh haqeeqat na sahi saraab to hai
lamha ba lamha toot'ta azaab to hai
phad raha hooN jese khiyaal ki tehreer!
haath meiN mere ik kitaab to hai!

saraab : mirage, illusion


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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13th August 2014, 10:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Zarraa saheb.. kal hum thode se free the, aur mood meiN bhi the ke kuch shayri ki jaye..
fusoon ka lafz 'azaab' bhi zehn meiN tha.. toH younhi aapas ki guftugu ke doraaN
Naaz aur iss na-cheez ne yeH Qit'a tarteeb diya....


woh haqeeqat na sahi saraab to hai
lamha ba lamha toot'ta azaab to hai
phad raha hooN jese khiyaal ki tehreer!
haath meiN mere ik kitaab to hai!

saraab : mirage, illusion
waaaaahhh!!! Hassanbhai waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
kya baat hai, kya khubsurat khayaaloN se pur qitta paRha hai.....

daad hi daad hamaari jaanib se



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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13th August 2014, 10:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
wahhH wahhH .. Adil bhai...

ghazab dhaa diya janab.. bohat bohat khoob..
lekin koshish kijiye ke lafzoN ko jitna mumkin ho sake joD ke likheN..
us taraH hazireeN ko phad'ne meiN bhi asaani rahe gi aur samajhne meiN bhi!

aate rahiye,,
mehfil roshan karte rahiye,,

DuaooN ke saath,,
Hassanbhai,

daad ke liye shukriya aur aage se zaroor khayaal rakhenge aapkii kahi baat ka



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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13th August 2014, 10:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post

Zarraa saheb hur shayer ki apni soch aur nazariya hota hai...
maiN oper di gayi aap ki sabhi interpretations se mutafiQ (sehmat) hooN!

Aise hi hamari madad aur hausla afzaai karte rahiye ga!

Apna khiyaal rakhiye ga,

DuaooN ke saath,,
Ji, bilkul sahi farmaaya Hassan bhai. Ustaad shora humein ta-abad tak uljhan mein rakhne ka intezaam kar ke gaye hain

Ummeed hai ki ye mohabbat bhara seekhne ka silsila musalsal chalta rahe !


safar ki daastaaN kehte agar manzil koyee paate
chalo kisse suna dete haiN kuchh pairoN ke chhaaloN ke

-zarraa
   
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