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Taraahi Ghazal- sab ke sab BEWAFA nahi hote...!!
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Taish
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Lightbulb Taraahi Ghazal- sab ke sab BEWAFA nahi hote...!! - 21st December 2012, 03:13 PM
taraahi ghazal likhne ki oor mera pehla qadam hai ye, umeed karta hun ki aap sabhi ka saath aur mashwaraa milegaa mujhe, bhaiyon agar kahiN gadbad hui ho to bata dena, kyunki kisi se bhi islaah nahin karaya hai, bas khatm kar ke yahaaN feNk diyaa hai...



Beh'r- 2122 1212 22


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/

Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last edited by Taish; 21st December 2012 at 03:36 PM..
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Dhaval
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21st December 2012, 03:24 PM
Lucky bhaii:

namaste!

aapko maine pehle bhee kaii baar paDhaa haii.. maiN kahuungaa aap jiss andaaz mein GhazleN liKhte haiN uss se haTkar aik aur nayaa andaaz ees Ghazal mein mujhe deKhne ko milaa aaj... bahot hi behterin Ghazal ! merii mubaaraqbaad aapko..!

KhuSh rahiye... apnaa Khayaal raKheN

duaaoN ke saath ijaazat

aapka

~Dhaval

*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
   
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ufaq
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21st December 2012, 03:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taish View Post
taraahi ghazal likhne ki oor mera pehla qadam hai ye, umeed karta hun ki aap sabhi ka saath aur mashwaraa milegaa mujhe, bhaiyon agar kahiN gadbad hui ho to bata dena, kyunki kisi se bhi islaah nahin karaya hai, bas khatm kar ke yahaaN feNk diyaa hai...



Beh'r- 2122 1212 22


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish' ek jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum to isi me yakeen rakhte hain.
bhai bahut achchhi ghazal hain........meter bhi achchhi tarah nibhaaya hai bas maqte men do jagah chook ho gayi hai ..........ek ki takhti 21 aur ik ki takhti 2
...........maqte ke oola men ek ki jagah ik kar lo.................
saani men ham ke baad se to hataa le.....misra meter men aa jaayega......
ham isee men yakeen rakhte hai
...........................baaqi is ghazal par aapko dhero daad...............tc
   
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21st December 2012, 04:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taish View Post
taraahi ghazal likhne ki oor mera pehla qadam hai ye, umeed karta hun ki aap sabhi ka saath aur mashwaraa milegaa mujhe, bhaiyon agar kahiN gadbad hui ho to bata dena, kyunki kisi se bhi islaah nahin karaya hai, bas khatm kar ke yahaaN feNk diyaa hai...



Beh'r- 2122 1212 22


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.
Taish bhai, bahut hi khoob ghazal kahi hai aapne. Kya andaaz hai...aalaa takhayyul..... umdaa bayaani.....

Bahut khoob. Baaki sab to Uffak bhai ne keh hi diya hai. Doosre sher ke saani misre ko dekhiye.


aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

'Pyaar rishtey' in lafzo'n ke maani sher ko huma rahe hai'n aur sher khul nahi'n paa raha hai. Ho sakta hai ye typo ho aur aapne 'pyare' ko 'pyar' likh diya.

Sher behr ke lihaaj se sahi hai lekin ba-ghaur-e-ma'ani aap is par bhi dhyaan deejiyega.

Ek baar fir se mubaarakbaad Qabool karo bhai.

_____________________________________
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sameer'shaad'
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21st December 2012, 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taish View Post
taraahi ghazal likhne ki oor mera pehla qadam hai ye, umeed karta hun ki aap sabhi ka saath aur mashwaraa milegaa mujhe, bhaiyon agar kahiN gadbad hui ho to bata dena, kyunki kisi se bhi islaah nahin karaya hai, bas khatm kar ke yahaaN feNk diyaa hai...



Beh'r- 2122 1212 22


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.

Taish bhai... Khushaamdeeed... Muqammal ghazal ka apna alag hi lutf hotaa hai... halaki mehnat bhi badee lagtii hai.. lekin jab ye poori hotii hai to khushi me behad izaafa hotaa hai..

Sach kahu to mujhe poori ghazal aapki behad acchi lagi.. khayalon ke parwaaz bahot uunche dikhe... magar pehle sher ke baare me kuch kahunga to gustaakhi hogi... isme thodi si banawat lagee...


Likhte rahen.. aur aage se koshsih kareN.. shaant, aur khush man se likhne ki.. sab bahot aasaan ho jaega... Allah kare zore qalam ho aur bhi ziyaadah... khush rahiye and congratsssss once again....

Shaad...

Shaad...
   
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21st December 2012, 05:17 PM
aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

WaaH ! Bahut UmdaaH !!

AchChhi Ghazal Huii ... Mubaaraqbaad !!!



YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...

---Naresh Mehra----
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zainy
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21st December 2012, 09:00 PM
Bohat acchi ghazal hai Taish ji...yeh do ashaar bohat pasand aaye mujhe

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.



Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
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Taish
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21st December 2012, 10:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Taish bhai... Khushaamdeeed... Muqammal ghazal ka apna alag hi lutf hotaa hai... halaki mehnat bhi badee lagtii hai.. lekin jab ye poori hotii hai to khushi me behad izaafa hotaa hai..

Sach kahu to mujhe poori ghazal aapki behad acchi lagi.. khayalon ke parwaaz bahot uunche dikhe... magar pehle sher ke baare me kuch kahunga to gustaakhi hogi... isme thodi si banawat lagee...


Likhte rahen.. aur aage se koshsih kareN.. shaant, aur khush man se likhne ki.. sab bahot aasaan ho jaega... Allah kare zore qalam ho aur bhi ziyaadah... khush rahiye and congratsssss once again....

Shaad...


Shaad saahab bura to mera maan.na bantaa hai saahab ki aap seedhe seedha matla ko banawti keh deN... maiN aapse bas ye poochna chaahunga ki aapko ye banaawti kis hisaab se laga aur aapne kis base pe ise banaawti kahaa hai...?? shayad maiN bhi kuch seekh paaun jo mujhe nahin samajh aaya tha isme...


aur saahab aapke footnote ka jawaab faraz saahab ka ye sher lijiye:

Kafir K Dil Se Ayah On Ye Dekh Ker Faraz,
Khuda Mojood Hai Wahan Per Usay Pata Nahi……


Baanki ye link padh leN sabhi ke jawab ek doosre ke liye yahaan mil jaayeNge aapko ek saath....

http://www.hamariweb.com/poetries/poetry.aspx?id=32499


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/

Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last edited by Taish; 21st December 2012 at 11:30 PM..
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Taish
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22nd December 2012, 11:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dhaval View Post
Lucky bhaii:

namaste!

aapko maine pehle bhee kaii baar paDhaa haii.. maiN kahuungaa aap jiss andaaz mein GhazleN liKhte haiN uss se haTkar aik aur nayaa andaaz ees Ghazal mein mujhe deKhne ko milaa aaj... bahot hi behterin Ghazal ! merii mubaaraqbaad aapko..!

KhuSh rahiye... apnaa Khayaal raKheN

duaaoN ke saath ijaazat

aapka

~Dhaval

Dhaval saahab shukriya.......................................... ......


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish
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aru
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22nd December 2012, 01:33 PM
taish bhai umda gazal... Congrats...likhte rahein khush rahein..


एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था
चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था

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22nd December 2012, 01:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taish View Post


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

Bahut Hi umadaa

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

Yakin-n sahi, bilkul sahi kahaa aapne

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

Bahut bahut, bahut hi khuubbbb

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.
[/B]

Puri gazal bahut hi zayaada pasand aayi, MaiN duaa karta huN ki aapko aur aapki kalam ko aur bhi zaydaa himmat mile, yuN hi likhte rahiyega

khush rahiyega

maNzil pr nazar rakhtaa huN
zaari apnaa safar rakhtaa huN !!
===========================


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Taish
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23rd December 2012, 11:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by uff ak View Post
bhai bahut achchhi ghazal hain........meter bhi achchhi tarah nibhaaya hai bas maqte men do jagah chook ho gayi hai ..........ek ki takhti 21 aur ik ki takhti 2
...........maqte ke oola men ek ki jagah ik kar lo.................
saani men ham ke baad se to hataa le.....misra meter men aa jaayega......
ham isee men yakeen rakhte hai
...........................baaqi is ghazal par aapko dhero daad...............tc
saahab aapki daad sar aankhon pe, aur aapke mutaabik change v kar diye hain main, bas yunhi saatth nibhaate rahiye.....


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Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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23rd December 2012, 11:46 AM
ossum gazal Taish ji... bahot hi khuub likhi hai aapne.........
last 2 sher bade ache lage
   
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maikasH
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27th December 2012, 12:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taish View Post
taraahi ghazal likhne ki oor mera pehla qadam hai ye, umeed karta hun ki aap sabhi ka saath aur mashwaraa milegaa mujhe, bhaiyon agar kahiN gadbad hui ho to bata dena, kyunki kisi se bhi islaah nahin karaya hai, bas khatm kar ke yahaaN feNk diyaa hai...



Beh'r- 2122 1212 22


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.

aadaab bhai,

achche she'r kehte haiN aap, bohta lutf aNdoz hua aapki yeh Ghazal padh kar

go majboor to mujhe Ghazal ke chauthe she'r ne kiya ke aapke takkhayyul ka daad par sau-fee-sadii haq ban'ta hai lekin mera pasaNdiidaa she'r Ghazal ka she'r #2 raha

mashq jaari rakhiye

rab raakha
maikash

.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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KunaaL
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27th December 2012, 02:04 PM
Sir

bohat khoob likha hai ..aapne

Kunaal

KunaaL (Sifar).........

Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa..
Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
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Ahmad Hyderabadi
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1st January 2013, 07:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taish View Post
taraahi ghazal likhne ki oor mera pehla qadam hai ye, umeed karta hun ki aap sabhi ka saath aur mashwaraa milegaa mujhe, bhaiyon agar kahiN gadbad hui ho to bata dena, kyunki kisi se bhi islaah nahin karaya hai, bas khatm kar ke yahaaN feNk diyaa hai...



Beh'r- 2122 1212 22


jo khuda me yakeen rakhte hain,
ek pukhta zameen rakhte hain.

aajmane se toot jaate hain,
pyar rishtey maheen rakhte hain

sab ke sab bewafa nahi hote,
jo bhi chehre haseen rakhte hain.

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.

'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.
Tasleemaat Lucky Bhaee!

Aapki ghazal bayhad khoobsoorat wa asardaar haye. Asardaar isliyay ki iskay aakhri do ashaar (quoted below) baar baar goonjtay hayn zahan kay dareechaon mayn! Aap isay likhtay waqt kis mawqoof mayn thay yay aap hee jaantay hayn laykin mayra maanna haye in ashaaraon mayn kaafee hadd tak sachchaee mawjood haye....

aandhiyan unka kya beegarengi,
jo ki gehri zameen rakhte hain.


'taish', ik jeene ki tamanna hai,
hum isi me yakeen rakhte hain.


Duagoh
Ahmad
   
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