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~* Wo Pahli Mulaqaat... Jab Shaam Dhale Wo Aayi Thi *~
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jat_in_mood
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~* Wo Pahli Mulaqaat... Jab Shaam Dhale Wo Aayi Thi *~ - 17th December 2011, 03:04 AM
Sabhi dosto ko saadar pranaam !!

Aaj kuch khayaal karke mai muskara gaya ... aur use mai kuch youn likh baitha jo aapko saamne rakh raha hoon ... pata nahi kaisi ban padi hai ... par kyunki ye khayal kuch khaas hai to mere dil ke paas hai :-)
Baaki aap sab ki raay ka intejaar rahega ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sharmayi si ghabrayi si
Jab shaam dhale wo aayi thi

Haatho mein pallu ka kona
Raste bhar ghumati aayi thi

Maine puchha jo adab se
Theek to ho
Boli... wo.. woo...
Wo mai mandir ke bahaane aayi thi

Uske marmari haatho ko
Maine chhu ke dekha
Jaise barf se dho kar aayi thi

Muh fer ke khadi ho gayi
Jaise wo meri nahi paraayi thi

Jee me to aaya
Aagosh mein bhar ke
Uske kaano mein kah du
Mere dil mein tumhi samayi thi

Khayaal kiya duniya ka
Ghoonth piya sabr ka
Aur socha bigad na jaaye
Baat meri jo bani banayi thi

Maine has ke bola
ek pal... jara idhar bhi dekho
Shayad tum mujhse milne aayi thi

Pahli... doosri... teesri...
Kuch mulaqaatein aise hi guzri
Dheere Dheere aise ghul gaye jaise
Mai phool aur uski khushbu mujhme samayi thi

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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sameer'shaad'
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17th December 2011, 07:22 AM
waah bhai waahhh.. bahot Naazuk, meethe aur maasoom se ehsaas hain raja.. kyaa khoob likhaa hai aapne is baar bhi...ke bas waahhh hi nikalta hai...


ab jaise ye dekhun to...

Boli... wo.. woo...
Wo mai mandir ke bahaane aayi thi


kitne komal aur sacche lafzon ka istemaal karke aapne apne ehsaason ko dhaala hai... i appreciate you for this buddy.... Reps+++ bhi le lijiye isi baaat par...
likhte rahiye.. khush rahiye... shukriiyaa

Shaad...
   
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jat_in_mood
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17th December 2011, 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
waah bhai waahhh.. bahot Naazuk, meethe aur maasoom se ehsaas hain raja.. kyaa khoob likhaa hai aapne is baar bhi...ke bas waahhh hi nikalta hai...


ab jaise ye dekhun to...

Boli... wo.. woo...
Wo mai mandir ke bahaane aayi thi


kitne komal aur sacche lafzon ka istemaal karke aapne apne ehsaason ko dhaala hai... i appreciate you for this buddy.... Reps+++ bhi le lijiye isi baaat par...
likhte rahiye.. khush rahiye... shukriiyaa
Shaad bhai ... thanks for appreciating the writing ... and motivating :-)
Tahe dil se shukargujar hoon ki aapne humare likhe ko padha aur saraha ...
Younhi saath dete rahiye aur humara maargdarshan bhi karte rahiye jaise ki aap humesha karte rahte hain ...
Bahot bahot shukriya bhai !!

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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heart_killer
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17th December 2011, 06:42 PM
Wah wah.. Bhai sahab, bade adab se aur bahut badiya tareeke se likha hai aapne... BOLE to EK DAM JHAKAS hai BAVAAA..
anyways..

Shuru ki line to aapne ek dam satik likhi hai par baad me aisa laga ki aapne unhe kuch jayda hi kheechana chaha hai..

Quote:
Originally Posted by jat_in_mood View Post
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sharmayi si ghabrayi si
Jab shaam dhale wo aayi thi

Haatho mein pallu ka kona
Raste bhar ghumati aayi thi

Maine puchha jo adab se
Theek to ho
Boli... wo.. woo...
Wo mai mandir ke bahaane aayi thi

Uske marmari haatho ko
Maine chhu ke dekha
Jaise barf se dho kar aayi thi

Muh fer ke khadi ho gayi
Jaise wo meri nahi paraayi thi

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
these lines are awesome & perfect. inhe aur jayda kheechane ki jaroorat nahi thi

Agar meri raaye aapko kuch bhuri lagi hoo toh, maaf kariyega..

regard,
OMi

Ek InteZaar si ban gayi hai Zindagi,
Har pal tere aane ki Aash mein.......
   
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naresh_mehra110
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17th December 2011, 06:49 PM
Uske marmari haatho ko
Maine chhu ke dekha
Jaise barf se dho kar aayi thi

Muh fer ke khadi ho gayi
Jaise wo meri nahi paraayi thi

Nazm Ke Naazuki Ehsaas AchChhe HaiN ... Deep Ji !

Nice Effort ... Mubaaraqbaad !!!



YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...

---Naresh Mehra----
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jat_in_mood
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17th December 2011, 09:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by heart_killer View Post
Wah wah.. Bhai sahab, bade adab se aur bahut badiya tareeke se likha hai aapne... BOLE to EK DAM JHAKAS hai BAVAAA..
anyways..

Shuru ki line to aapne ek dam satik likhi hai par baad me aisa laga ki aapne unhe kuch jayda hi kheechana chaha hai..



these lines are awesome & perfect. inhe aur jayda kheechane ki jaroorat nahi thi

Agar meri raaye aapko kuch bhuri lagi hoo toh, maaf kariyega..

regard,
OMi

Omi bhai aap ek dam sahi kah rahe ho ...
Dar-asal baat kya hui ki ye jo khayaal tha us ek pal ka tha jab shaam dhale wo aayi thi ... [] ... to huwa youn ki mai jara bhaavnao.n mein bah gaya aur bahte bahte kaafi door nikal gaya ...
Maine bhi ek baar likh ke jab ise dubara dekha tha to mujhe kuch jyada hi lambi lagi thi ... sach kah raha hoon ye meri jaanbujh kar lambi khinchi hui nahi hai ... aur mai ise sirf kavitai ke lihaaz se kaant chhant nahi karna chaah raha tha ... jo bhi raw likha gaya ek flow mein , as it is post kar di ... mai shayad ise dubara edit karta to shayad kuch aur chhota kar sakta tha ... par mujhe laga ki kahani fir mukammal nahi hogi ...

Please mere baat ko aleja nahi leejiyega ... aapne shayri ke lihaaz se ek dam sahi raay di hai ... aap ki raay se mujhe seekh hi mili hai ... ki apni to kah di padhne waalo ki bhi sochni chahiye [] ...
Mai aage se khayal rakhunga bhaijaan !!
Bahot bahot shukriyaa !!
Aapka yonhi hume sikhate rahiye ... aage kuch aur achha likh ke dikhayenge

Aapka dost !! Deep !!

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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jat_in_mood
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17th December 2011, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by naresh_mehra110 View Post
Uske marmari haatho ko
Maine chhu ke dekha
Jaise barf se dho kar aayi thi

Muh fer ke khadi ho gayi
Jaise wo meri nahi paraayi thi

Nazm Ke Naazuki Ehsaas AchChhe HaiN ... Deep Ji !

Nice Effort ... Mubaaraqbaad !!!

Naresh jee !! mujhe umeed nahi thi ye logo ko pasand aayegi ... bas apni dilli tassali ke liye post kar di thi ...
Aapki taareef se mujhe bahot hausla mila hai, ki shayad hum bhi kuch likh sakenge aap logo ki sangatti mein ...
Isliye aapka bahot bahot shukargujaar hoon !!
Aise hi sath dete rahiyegaa !!

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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heart_killer
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17th December 2011, 10:56 PM
hahahahaha koi koi nai Dost.. Keep Up..!!
Par yaar.. Control yourself... jayda bhavnao me naa behak jaya karo.. Werna kisi din over flow wali bhawnaaye mushkil me daal degi...

Quote:
Originally Posted by jat_in_mood View Post
Omi bhai aap ek dam sahi kah rahe ho ...
Dar-asal baat kya hui ki ye jo khayaal tha us ek pal ka tha jab shaam dhale wo aayi thi ... [] ... to huwa youn ki mai jara bhaavnao.n mein bah gaya aur bahte bahte kaafi door nikal gaya ...
Maine bhi ek baar likh ke jab ise dubara dekha tha to mujhe kuch jyada hi lambi lagi thi ... sach kah raha hoon ye meri jaanbujh kar lambi khinchi hui nahi hai ... aur mai ise sirf kavitai ke lihaaz se kaant chhant nahi karna chaah raha tha ... jo bhi raw likha gaya ek flow mein , as it is post kar di ... mai shayad ise dubara edit karta to shayad kuch aur chhota kar sakta tha ... par mujhe laga ki kahani fir mukammal nahi hogi ...

Please mere baat ko aleja nahi leejiyega ... aapne shayri ke lihaaz se ek dam sahi raay di hai ... aap ki raay se mujhe seekh hi mili hai ... ki apni to kah di padhne waalo ki bhi sochni chahiye [] ...
Mai aage se khayal rakhunga bhaijaan !!
Bahot bahot shukriyaa !!
Aapka yonhi hume sikhate rahiye ... aage kuch aur achha likh ke dikhayenge

Aapka dost !! Deep !!

Ek InteZaar si ban gayi hai Zindagi,
Har pal tere aane ki Aash mein.......
   
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Manshaa Thaakur
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22nd December 2011, 08:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jat_in_mood View Post
Sabhi dosto ko saadar pranaam !!

Aaj kuch khayaal karke mai muskara gaya ... aur use mai kuch youn likh baitha jo aapko saamne rakh raha hoon ... pata nahi kaisi ban padi hai ... par kyunki ye khayal kuch khaas hai to mere dil ke paas hai :-)
Baaki aap sab ki raay ka intejaar rahega ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sharmayi si ghabrayi si
Jab shaam dhale wo aayi thi

Haatho mein pallu ka kona
Raste bhar ghumati aayi thi

Maine puchha jo adab se
Theek to ho
Boli... wo.. woo...
Wo mai mandir ke bahaane aayi thi

Uske marmari haatho ko
Maine chhu ke dekha
Jaise barf se dho kar aayi thi

Muh fer ke khadi ho gayi
Jaise wo meri nahi paraayi thi

Jee me to aaya
Aagosh mein bhar ke
Uske kaano mein kah du
Mere dil mein tumhi samayi thi

Khayaal kiya duniya ka
Ghoonth piya sabr ka
Aur socha bigad na jaaye
Baat meri jo bani banayi thi

Maine has ke bola
ek pal... jara idhar bhi dekho
Shayad tum mujhse milne aayi thi

Pahli... doosri... teesri...
Kuch mulaqaatein aise hi guzri
Dheere Dheere aise ghul gaye jaise
Mai phool aur uski khushbu mujhme samayi thi

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
nice feelings ........................ !

Manshaa Thaakur
   
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23rd December 2011, 01:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manshaa Thaakur View Post
nice feelings ........................ !
Manshaa jee hausla badhaane ka bahot bahot shukriyaa ...

Younhi saath dete rahiyega ... !!

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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ananthpak
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24th December 2011, 10:26 AM
kya khoob likha hai jawab nahi aapka.....




Mohabbat ke ye silsile na the
Jab tak tum hum mile na the

*pari*
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ISHK EK IBADAT
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24th December 2011, 10:51 AM
bahut khooooooooooob ....... Deep Ji ! radhe radhe ...............

Aapka Apna
Ishk


'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है
इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है


email: rkm179@gmail.com
   
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AHMAD SHAKIL
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24th December 2011, 12:11 PM
Jat Sb.............. Achi Lagi Aap Ki Ye Nazm.......... Boht Meethay Or Naazuk KHayalaat Ko Tarteeb Dia Hai Is Me Aap Ne.......... Daad Qabool Farmayen...... Likhtay Rahen...................Khush Rahen



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Mujhko Bas Aik Jism Ka Aazaar Hee Nahi

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jat_in_mood
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25th December 2011, 12:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ananthpak View Post
kya khoob likha hai jawab nahi aapka.....
bas jee aapki jarra nawazi hai ... hausla badhaane ka bahot bahot shukriyaa !!
Aate rahein !!

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
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Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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jat_in_mood
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25th December 2011, 12:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ISHK EK IBADAT View Post
bahut khooooooooooob ....... Deep Ji ! radhe radhe ...............
Ishk jee Radhe Radhe ... Radhe Radhe !!
Thanks for your appreciations :-)

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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jat_in_mood
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25th December 2011, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AHMAD SHAKIL View Post
Jat Sb.............. Achi Lagi Aap Ki Ye Nazm.......... Boht Meethay Or Naazuk KHayalaat Ko Tarteeb Dia Hai Is Me Aap Ne.......... Daad Qabool Farmayen...... Likhtay Rahen...................Khush Rahen
Shakil bhai salaam !! Aapko humara likha pasand aaya, aur aapne humare liye waqt nikala... badi meharbaani aapki ...
Bahot bahot shukriyaa bhaijaan !!

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
------------------------------------
Men may come , Men may go .. But i will go on forever ... :-)
   
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masti
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14th July 2015, 10:25 AM
Wow!

How romantic!

aise jaise koi movie ka scene aankhon ke aage chal rahe ho.

bohut khoob.........

Pata nahi ab aap yaha kyun nahi aate? aate rahiye taki humein aapko padne ka mouka aur mile.

-Apki Dost
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Qasid
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14th July 2015, 10:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jat_in_mood View Post
Sabhi dosto ko saadar pranaam !!

Aaj kuch khayaal karke mai muskara gaya ... aur use mai kuch youn likh baitha jo aapko saamne rakh raha hoon ... pata nahi kaisi ban padi hai ... par kyunki ye khayal kuch khaas hai to mere dil ke paas hai :-)
Baaki aap sab ki raay ka intejaar rahega ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sharmayi si ghabrayi si
Jab shaam dhale wo aayi thi

Haatho mein pallu ka kona
Raste bhar ghumati aayi thi

Maine puchha jo adab se
Theek to ho
Boli... wo.. woo...
Wo mai mandir ke bahaane aayi thi

Uske marmari haatho ko
Maine chhu ke dekha
Jaise barf se dho kar aayi thi

Muh fer ke khadi ho gayi
Jaise wo meri nahi paraayi thi

Jee me to aaya
Aagosh mein bhar ke
Uske kaano mein kah du
Mere dil mein tumhi samayi thi

Khayaal kiya duniya ka
Ghoonth piya sabr ka
Aur socha bigad na jaaye
Baat meri jo bani banayi thi

Maine has ke bola
ek pal... jara idhar bhi dekho
Shayad tum mujhse milne aayi thi

Pahli... doosri... teesri...
Kuch mulaqaatein aise hi guzri
Dheere Dheere aise ghul gaye jaise
Mai phool aur uski khushbu mujhme samayi thi

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bahut kaamyaab koshish shayri to nahi par ek aacha prose kahungaa aur behtareen tarah se aapke ise alfaaz diye hai..Daad qubool farmiYeGaa


Qasid

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Sagar Aashna
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14th July 2015, 06:45 PM
Mujhe aapke ehsasaat bohot pasand aaye saahb.
Aate rahiye, mehfil mein rounaq aayegii.
Khush rahiye.

Sagar Aashna
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jat_in_mood
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jat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nice
 
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18th July 2015, 10:39 AM
Shukriya Sarika Jee, meri chhoti si koshish ko sarhaane ke liye...
Aajkal roji roti me itne busy ho gaye hain ki is behtareen jagah par aane ke liye bhi taras gaye hain ... Vaise beech beech me koshish rahti hai meri, aur sirf read only mode me aake kuch dair kuch achhe khayal padh kar nikal jaate hain ...
Aage se koshish rahegi ki thoda jaldi jaldi aaya jaaye...
Thanks once again :-)

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jat_in_mood
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jat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nice
 
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18th July 2015, 10:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mast View Post
Bahut kaamyaab koshish shayri to nahi par ek aacha prose kahungaa aur behtareen tarah se aapke ise alfaaz diye hai..Daad qubool farmiYeGaa

Jee aapne ek dam sahi kaha, vaise shayri mujhe aati bhi nahi :P
Bas aise kuch ahsaas ek apni sochi hui si rythm me piro lete hain kabhi kabhi...

Hausla badhane ka bahot bahot shukriyaa :-)

♪~!*DeeP*!~♪
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jat_in_mood
eK Dost !!
jat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nicejat_in_mood is just really nice
 
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18th July 2015, 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagar Aashna View Post
Mujhe aapke ehsasaat bohot pasand aaye saahb.
Aate rahiye, mehfil mein rounaq aayegii.
Khush rahiye.
Sagar Sahab, hausla badhaane ka bahot bahot shukriyaa :-)

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Madhu 14
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18th July 2015, 06:19 PM
waaaahh!bahut hee pyaare masoom se khyaal hain aur aapne bade hee sachche seedhe lafzon me utara hai inhe kagaz par....bahot khoob deep ji...

ummeed hai aage bhi aapke khoobsoorat kalaam padhne ko milenge hame..
aate rahiye....


अर्ज मेरी एे खुदा क्या सुन सकेगा तू कभी
आसमां को बस इसी इक आस में तकते रहे
madhu..
   
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