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jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
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maikasH
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Post jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad - 4th January 2006, 07:11 PM

aadaab , namaste aur sat sri akaal dosto

aik aur Ghazal mehfil ki nazar kar raha huuN aur ummiid hai ke kuch khaas dostoN ko kam-az-kam is martaba shikayat ka mauqa nahiiN milega ke janaab mehfil meN bohat kam tashriif laate haiN


mula'izaa farmaayeN


jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
vo bahut hi haNse , muskuraane ke baad


meri jaaN tujhey kis zabaaN se kahuuN
kyaa mera haal hai tere jaane ke baad


hai pasiiney pasiiney hawaa ka badan
sab chiraaGhoN ko mere bhujhaane ke baad


khushi bhu huwee mere dil se gurezaaN
"marega tu" mujhko sunaane ke baad

yeh toofaan khaamosh ho jaayega
mera aashiyaana mitaane ke baad


uNheN yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan
mera khoon , mehNdii lagaane ke baad


le chalo meri mayyat ko unki gali
mujhko dafnaao unko dikhaane ke baad


ab to "maikash" ko tarz-e-sukhan aa gaya
ziNdagi bhar butoN se nibhaane ke baad



maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................

Last edited by maikasH; 8th January 2006 at 12:20 AM..
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Re: jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
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kuhulika
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Re: jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad - 4th January 2006, 07:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab , namaste aur sat sri akaal dosto

aik aur Ghazal mehfil ki nazar kar raha huuN aur ummiid hai ke kuch khaas dostoN ko kam-az-kam is martaba shikayat ka mauqa nahiiN milega ke janaab mehfil meN bohat kam tashriif laate haiN


mula'izaa farmaayeN


jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
vo bahut hi haNse , muskuraane ke baad


meri jaaN tujhey kis zabaaN se kahuuN
kyaa mera haal hai tere jaane ke baad


hai pasiiney pasiiney hawaa ka badan
sab chiraaGhoN ko mere bhujhaane ke baad


khushi bhu huwee mere dil se gurezaaN
"marega tu" mujhko sunaane ke baad


uNheN yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan
mera khoon , mehNdii lagaane ke baad


le chalo meri mayyat ko unki gali
mujhko dafnaao unko dikhaane ke baad


ab to "maikash" ko tarz-e-sukhan aa gaya
ziNdagi bhar butoN se nibhaane ke baad



maikash


bahut khoob Maikash sahab bahut khoob


"le chalo meri mayyat ko unki gali
mujhko dafnaao unko dikhaane ke baad"

yeh lines behad pasand aayin mujhe

likhte rahiyega or jaldi jaldi aayiyega


SHWETA


jab yaad karte hai kisi ko
wo waqt suhana hota hai

uth jati hai kalam likhne ko
wo pyar deewana hota hai

kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan
wo kalaam shayraana hota hai

jab yaad karte hai kisi ko
wo waqt suhana hota hai...


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
duniya mein kitna gam hai
apna gam phir bhi kam hai
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
   
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garima
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4th January 2006, 08:37 PM

bahoot khoob Maikash sir


Anant se bhi aage... itni si khwahish hai :)
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maikasH
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6th January 2006, 05:14 PM

farhana jee

daad ka bohat shukriya


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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maikasH
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8th January 2006, 12:01 AM

bohat shukriya garima jee


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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meena chheda
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8th January 2006, 08:52 AM

le chalo meri mayyat ko unki gali
mujhko dafnaao unko dikhaane ke baad


Dear maikash,

dil mai bas gayi yah baat..

meena
   
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aap ki ghazal
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Daanish_ Hyd
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aap ki ghazal - 8th January 2006, 09:16 AM

maikash saheb,
aap se to behar ki tawwaq'u rakhna koi ajab baat nahiN...magar is m'uamla meiN aap se bhi kahiN kahiN laghzisheN hui haiN...aur maiN aap ki ghazal ki farzi tareef karna nahiN chaahta, is liye ke adab meiN dayanatdaari bahut aham maqaam rakhti hai...ravayaati ghazal ke paimanoN se dekha jaye to aap ki taazatareen ghazal aap ke myaar se firotar hai...saaf goyi ke liye m'azerat, lekin umeed hai ke aap ki agli ghazal is parvaaz-e-fikr-o-shireeN bayani ki tashnagi ko bujhayegi....needless to add mukammal wazn meiN hogi...


daanish hyderabadi
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maikasH
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8th January 2006, 09:01 PM

meena jee

bohat shukriya


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Amanush...
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9th January 2006, 01:05 AM

Waah...Bahout khoub ! Maikash Ji !

Fantastic

Apna khayaal rakhiyega



Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai

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maikasH
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9th January 2006, 01:33 AM

mohtaram Daanish_ Hyd saahab

aadaab tasleem farmaayeN


aapse chooNke pehli dafaa muKhatib ho raha huuN isliye adab ka takaaza hai ke aapko mehfil meiN khush-am-ded kahuuN....khush-am-ded...!!

aapki kahi baateN padhi aur bohat achcha lagaa.......maiN aapse sau-fee-sadii muttafiq huuN janaab......

kaun se misrey meiN aapko kahaaN nuqs nazar aaya agar thodi si wajaahat farmaa dete to mere liye aur bhi aasaani hoti.....

haalaNke mujhe behar ki muqammal maalumaat nahiiN hai lekin maine pichhle kuch saaloN meiN jo bhi kuch seekha hai voh aap jaise saahib-e-ilm-o-zabaan ki rehnumaayi meiN hi seekha hai.......

urdu meri madrii zabaan nahiiN hai aur duusre maiN behar ki taqniiqiiyoN se waaqif nahiiN huuN .....she'r behar meiN padh to ba'khoobi leta huuN lekin ye nahiiN bataa sakta ke ye "kaun si" behar hai ya iske arkaan kya haiN......taqreeban 5 saal pehle mujhe aap hi ki tarah janaab Dashmesh Gill "feroz" saahab ne taa'qiid ki thi behar meiN likhne ki koshish kijiye.....us waqt to mujhe radiif-o-kaafiya kya balaa hai iska bhi ilm nahiiN tha......ba-har-haal maine feroz saahab ki sarparastii meiN thoda bohat seekha lekin "takhtee" ke hisaab se nahiiN.....ek dhun ko zahan meiN rakh kar she'r kehne ki koshish karta huuN aur is tarqiib meiN GhalatiyaaN hona hairaani ki baat nahiiN jise ki aap meri na-laayiqii bhi keh sakte haiN.....

lekin abhi kuch maah pehle Tay kiya tha ki behar ki taa'liim baa'qayda haasil ki jaaye.....lekin haif ke in dinoN masroofiyat itni badh gayi hai ke waqt nahiiN mil paata........

mere khayaal meiN kisi bhi shaayar ke liye taNqeed , taa'riif se kahiiN ziyada faydemaNd hai . aapse guzaarish hai ke jab kabhi bhi meri koi Ghazal padheN to bilaa-jhijhak apne ta'suraat se nawaazeN.....aap umr meiN bhi mujhse bade haiN to meri laGhzishoN pe faTkaar bhi lagaa sakte haiN ye meri aapse darkhuvaast hai


ummiid hai aapse khat-o-khitabat jaari rahegi

aadaab
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................

Last edited by maikasH; 9th January 2006 at 07:08 PM..
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aap ki ghazal
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Daanish_ Hyd
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aap ki ghazal - 9th January 2006, 07:56 AM

maikash saheb,
aap ne badi faraaqdili ka muzahera kiya ke khaaksaar ke khayalat sanjeedgi se ghaur farmaane ki zehmat ki....sach batauN to mujhe aap ke siva yahaN ravayati Urdu shayari se waqfiyat rakhnewale arbaab-e-bazm nazar nahiN aate...is liye maine kal aalam-e-bezargi meiN un logon ke mutaleq talqkalami bhi ki, jis ke liye ma'zeratkhwaaN huN, ke yeh log faqat daad ke talabgaar haiN aur woh bhi ghairmiyaari aur satahi shayari ke liye...is waqt ujlat meiN huN...aur waise bhi maiN ek adnatareen taalib-e-ilm huN, zabaan-o-adab ka, koi maaher-e-fan nahiN...phir bhi aap ke hukm ki t'ameel karte hue, ek baar ghazal phir se padh ke uski taqteeh kar ne ki ek adna kaavish karunga...
aap ke kalmaath ke liye mamnoon huN....Thank you for taking my comments in the right spirit--that's the sign of an evolved soul, in my humble opinion.
khair andesh


daanish hyderabadi

Last edited by maikasH; 9th January 2006 at 07:09 PM..
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musharrafhusain
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9th January 2006, 10:42 AM

maikash saheb

aap ke jald yahan aane ka shukriyaa.
dekhiye aap ke aane se is forum mein itna miyaari kalam bhi to hem tek pohncha.

yeh toofaan khaamosh ho jaayega
mera aashiyaana mitaane ke baad
uNheN yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan
mera khoon , mehNdii lagaane ke baad

bohat khoobsurat aur behtereen ashaar per mubni yeh ghazel bohat bhaaee hamein.

hamari bharpoor daad qabool karein.

God bless you.

musharrafhusain
   
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Qasid
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9th January 2006, 07:57 PM

Ustaad ji

ek baar fir dil ke kisi kone mein lehren uth rahi hai..jaane kyun par aapko padhkar ek apnapan mehsoos hota hai apke lafz khud bakhud ek tasavuur sa bana jaate hai....is tasavuur ka nasha bas kya kahiye ghadiyon ek ajnabee ehsaas bankar dil ko sukoon deta hai....

uNheN yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan
mera khoon , mehNdii lagaane ke baad

Wah!! yunhi to mein aapko ustaad ji nahi kehta...

As it is, it's always a pleasure to read u...

-aapka apnaa



Qasid


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9th January 2006, 07:59 PM

sach kahoon to shabodon ke dayre me rakhkar main aapke is kalaam ki garima ghatane ki gustakhi nahi karunga.bas itna hi keh sakunga ki kalaam hume dil se pasand aaya.aur app tah-e-dil se humari daad kabool farmayen.

GHAYAL



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Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish

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maikasH
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10th January 2006, 12:15 AM

mushkil jee

aadaab

miyaaN aapne to mushkil meiN daal diya....ab aapse saahab keh kar mukhaatib hoN ya saheba....mushkil hai

khair

daad ke liye shukriya


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Pyarali Rajan
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10th January 2006, 01:45 AM

MaikasH Ji!

jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
vo bahut hi haNse , muskuraane ke baad

Wah! As always, yeh Ghazal bhi daadh key kaabil hai!!

Rajan!!


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Daanish_ Hyd
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aap ki ghazal - 10th January 2006, 08:54 AM

maikash saheb,
khaaksaar ke tanqeedi kalmaath ko kushadadili se qubool farmana khud aap ki ilmdosti ki daleel hai...hasb-e-hidayat un misroN ki taraf aap ko mutawwaje karne ki jasarat kar raha huN jin meiN behar ki laghzisheN hui haiN:
fan-e-arooz meiN bhi mubtadi huN, zyaada kuch nahiN jaanta, magar ghaaliban behar yeh hai--fa'elun/fa'elun/fa'elun/fa'elaan
Khumar barabankwi ka misra hai--"dil sulagta raha aashiyaane ke baad"
dil sulag-fa'elun/ta raha-fa'elun/aashiya/fa'elun/ne ke baad-fa'elaan
meri jaaN tujhe kis zaban se kahuN
(agar aap kaheN "meri jaaN maiN tujhe kis zabaaN se kahuN" to wazn meiN hoga) ...isi tarah "khushi bhi hui mere dil se gurezaaN" wazn meiN nahiN hai...haaN gurez par misra khatm kiya jaye to baat bane..."unhe yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan"--shaayad agar aap kaheN --"unheN yaad to aaya hoga yaqeeN" to wazn meiN hoga, go ke mafhoom kuchh nahiN banta aur bezabani bhi hogi...maqte meiN rabt ki kami mahsoos ho rahi hai do misroN meiN... aur "marega tu" ka misra ghair shayaraana izhaar hai...
aap se multamis huN ke aap khaaksaar ki ghazloN par nazar-e-inayat farmayeN aur bilatakalluf, azaadana izhaar-e-khayal farmayeN..
nawazish...khair andesh


daanish hyderabadi
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maikasH
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15th January 2006, 11:18 PM

mohtaram musharrafhusain sahab

aadaab

jaisa ke maiN har dafaa kehta huuN ke aap un chaNd khaas dostoN meN se haiN jinke ta'suraat ka mujhe besabrii se Intezaar rehta hai

aik baar phir se hausla badhaane ka bohat shukriya

maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Daanish_ Hyd
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16th January 2006, 06:15 PM

er, you mean Daanish, I hope........not very sure yhough!


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maikasH
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16th January 2006, 09:06 PM

Daanish saahab maiN janaab musharrafhussain saahab se hi mukhaatib tha go aapse mujhe aur bhi ummiideN haiN

aapne jo islaah di hai uss se maiN mukqammal ta'ur se muttafiq huuN , pazira'ii ke liye bohat bohat shukriya

aapki shayri section meN khaaksaar ne aik Ghazal post ki hai aapke ta'suraat ka muNtazir huuN waqt mile to zaruur dekh lijiyega


aadaab
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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Re: jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
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pyaasa
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Re: jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad - 16th January 2006, 11:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab , namaste aur sat sri akaal dosto

aik aur Ghazal mehfil ki nazar kar raha huuN aur ummiid hai ke kuch khaas dostoN ko kam-az-kam is martaba shikayat ka mauqa nahiiN milega ke janaab mehfil meN bohat kam tashriif laate haiN


mula'izaa farmaayeN


jaaN le kar merii , dil jalaane ke baad
vo bahut hi haNse , muskuraane ke baad


meri jaaN tujhey kis zabaaN se kahuuN
kyaa mera haal hai tere jaane ke baad


hai pasiiney pasiiney hawaa ka badan
sab chiraaGhoN ko mere bhujhaane ke baad




khushi bhu huwee mere dil se gurezaaN
"marega tu" mujhko sunaane ke baad

yeh toofaan khaamosh ho jaayega
mera aashiyaana mitaane ke baad


uNheN yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan
mera khoon , mehNdii lagaane ke baad


le chalo meri mayyat ko unki gali
mujhko dafnaao unko dikhaane ke baad


ab to "maikash" ko tarz-e-sukhan aa gaya
ziNdagi bhar butoN se nibhaane ke baad

maikash
Maikash ji,
Bahot dino baad yahan aya hun aur dekha ke aapne likha hai to bus padhan shuru kar diya aur hamesha ki tarah aap ka likhne ka andaaz bahot hi pasand aya. Bada hi dard hai aap ke likhne mein , kaash hum bhi kuch aisa likh paate. Aap ki likhi huii ghazal mujhe ab tak yaad hai DO ASKH HI MERI YAAD MEIN BAHA DETE TO KYA JAATA. Bhai kamaal ka likhte hain aap. Daad kubool farmaayein. 4 line jodne ki gustaakhi kar raha hun

yeh toofaan khaamosh ho jaayega
mera aashiyaana mitaane ke baad


uNheN yaad aaya to hoga yaqeenan
mera khoon , mehNdii lagaane ke baad

vaada kiya tha kabhi saath jeene ka
kya karun jeekar tujhse bichhadne ke baad

mere khoon se hi rang aya hai teri mehndi ka
nishaan fir bhi reh jaayenge rang utarne ke baad

ZINDAGI RAHI TO FIR MILENGE

BYE FOR NOW & TAKE CARE

iminlovein@yahoo.com


TERE CHEHRE PAR UJAALA RAHE HAR WAQT YEHI DUA HAI
APNI LAASH JALAAKAR TERE CHEHRE PAR UJAALA LE AAYENGE
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KUCH LOG EK ROZ JO BICHHAD JAATE HAIN
WOH HAZAARON KE AANE SE MILTE NAHI
UMRA BHAR CHAHE KOI PUKARA KARE UNKA NAAM
WOH FIR NAHI AATE WOH FIR NAHI AATE
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