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rukhsati !!!!!(beti ki doli..walid ki arthi)
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san04
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rukhsati !!!!!(beti ki doli..walid ki arthi) - 22nd May 2004, 04:46 PM

hello everyone!
aaj ek sacchi ghatna jo meri ankhon ke samne ghati use leker hi likhi hai..kya aap soch saktey hain..ki jab ek ladki hathon mein mehndi lagaker dulhan banne gayi ho,,aur peechey uske walid ki arthi ya antim sanskar ki sari rasmeyin jaldi jaldi ki ja rahi ho,,taki beti ko pata na chaley!!!!! aur yakeen maniye aisa hi hua,,,bus ...kuch un hi lamhon ke sath...( technical aspects ko bhoolker sirf ehsas ki kalam se likhi gayi hai,,ye rachna)

jashn ke mahaul mein gumon ki parasti ho gayi
beti ki rukhsati pe walid ki rukhsati ho gayi

socha tha baithaoonga doli mein jaan-e-jigar ko
per aaj khud hi kandhon pe jahan se rukhsati ho gayi

heena se surkh haton me saj rahi thi beti
anjaan bekhabar ki kaisi ye badkismati ho gayi

labon pe liye tabassum magar dil mein chupe ansoo
dulhan ko rukhsat kerke cheekhon ki basti ho gayi

ayi jo ghar pe beti, dhoondey apne,walid ko
ghar mein kaisi ankh-michoni ki hasti ho gayi

andaza ger lagao ki kya hua hoga iske baad!!
hichkiyon ke beech nikah-e-khushi kitni sasti ho gayi

insaan hain hum bhi koi pather to nahi yaron!
'sona" aaj phir ye dekho derd-e-parasti ho gayi
   
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deewaana
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23rd May 2004, 05:13 AM

aslaamaaleikuum namaste and sat sri a kaal,
san04 jee,

wah !! yeh kaishe rukhshtee ! dua karte hain kisi dushman koh bhii aishe deen naah khuda deekhayeeh

nicely expressed

apnee dua mein humhe shameel kijiyegha


dil toh sirf deewaana hain
   
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Afshan
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23rd May 2004, 09:52 AM

Swati ji Adaab!

Ye kismat bhi kabhi kabhi ajab khel khelti hai.. ab ye kya ki wo din jo maa baap ke liye baRi khushi ka hota hai, beti ki shaadi aur widaii.. us din par ghum ke baadal kuchh is qadar chhaye ki ye khushi uske saamne dhhal gayi... magar taqdeer ka likha kaun taal sakta hai.. Umeed hai ki Khuda un sabko himmat de..

Aapne is ghaTna ko bakhoobi bayaan kiya hai.. kabhi kabhi sahi jazbaat bayaan karne ke liye shayri ke niyam toDne paRte hain.. magar jab tak kalaam me ehsaas hai, to wo shayri hi hui na??

Yunhi likhte rahiyega..


Tum chale jaaoge to sochenge... Humne kya khoya, humne kya paaya...
   
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meena chheda
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23rd May 2004, 10:13 AM

swati,
haan.... mere saamne bhi yahi ghatna ghati thhi.... aaj wahi drishy fir yaad aa gaya.... tumhari rachna se...
labzon ke sajaane se dard mahesoos nahi hota .... par jahaa.. dard khud labz ban jaaye wo ahesaas dil ko chhu jaate hai...
meena
   
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hello deewana..ji
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san04
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hello deewana..ji - 23rd May 2004, 10:04 PM

apko ek choti si gamgin rachna pasand ayi,,sach hai aisi rukhsati to kisi dushman ko bhi naseeb na ho..!
thx,,,,
swati
   
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hello meena ji
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san04
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hello meena ji - 23rd May 2004, 10:07 PM

meri sirf ek koshish thi ki apni bhavnao ko apni kalam se poetic roop mein likh ker auro ko bhi wo derd mehsoos kera sakoon...apko agar sach aisa mehsoos hua..to main ye kahoongi ki mera maqsad kuch haq tak kamyab ho gaya...
thx....
swati
   
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hello banno ji
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san04
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hello banno ji - 23rd May 2004, 10:09 PM

aaj apni rachna ke liye kuch tareef ke shabd parhey to bahut accha laga...derd kio bayan kerne ki ek koshish bhi thi aur kuch wo pal bhi jo maine haqeeqat mein jiye they un logon ke sath,,,isiliye..baar baar dil sochta tha ki isey kalambadh karoon...ek koshish ki aur shayad kuch sahi ban gayi,,,
apka bahut shukriya..
swati
   
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Re: rukhsati !!!!!(beti ki doli..walid ki arthi)
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manoj kureel
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Re: rukhsati !!!!!(beti ki doli..walid ki arthi) - 24th May 2004, 10:50 AM

socha tha baithaoonga doli mein jaan-e-jigar ko
per aaj khud hi kandhon pe jahan se rukhsati ho gayi

labon pe liye tabassum magar dil mein chupe ansoo
dulhan ko rukhsat kerke cheekhon ki basti ho gayi

ayi jo ghar pe beti, dhoondey apne,walid ko
ghar mein kaisi ankh-michoni ki hasti ho gayi

andaza ger lagao ki kya hua hoga iske baad!!
hichkiyon ke beech nikah-e-khushi kitni sasti ho gayi

swati ji
ek baar fir aapne dil ko choo liya,,,jazbaaton ko jhanjhkod diya hai.....aapko padhte hue mano wo manzar aankhon ke saamne utar aaya ho...kitna gehra aur kitna sateek likha hai aapne is ghatna ko,,,mein deewana bhai se bilkool sehmat hoon ki Bhagwan kabhi dushmanon ko bhi aisa waqt na dikhaye...
ek shayara ke kartavya ko bakhubi anjaam diya hai aapne,,,apne nazariye se is ghatna ko sab tak pahunchaya hai,,,apne gamon ka to sabhi bayan karte hai,,,aapne kisi aur ke dukh ko samjha hai,,mehsoos kiya hai aur usko likha hai,,,mein ise ek "shardhanjali" samjhunga,,jo aapne us abhage parivaar ko samarpit ki hai.....
yun hi likhte rahiye ,,apna khayal rakhiye,,sada khush rahiye...
-Manoj


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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