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terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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maikasH
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terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 24th May 2006, 05:45 AM

aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Waah Sarkar
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Waah Sarkar - 24th May 2006, 06:44 AM

Maikash saahab,

Aadaab..

Behad dilkash yeh ghazal kahii hai aap ne.. Matla mujhe tab bhi behad pasand aaya tha jaab aap ne sunaaya tha.. Ab pure ghazal meN shaamil ho kar khoobsuurati aur baRh gaya hai...

Ek khoobsuurat ghazal ke dher saare daad haazir hai..

Mayank



buraa jo dekhan mai.n Chalaa, buraa naa milyaa koye
jo mann Khojaa apnaa to mujh se buraa naa koye


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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 24th May 2006, 09:32 AM

"badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale"


Aarzoo bhi badi alag hai aapki maiksah bhai....ishse dard kahu ya kuch aur samjh nahi aata.....

"miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley"


ye kaafi acha laga mujhe....Very Nice


Shukriyah ish gazal ko hamare beech laane k liye...aur dil se daad kabul kijiyega....





Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash


Navard-e-ishq mein kya hua kya bataye hum
kabhi humne yu khud ko harata naa dekha


Kaise Samjhau Dil-e-hasarat-nasiib Ko Apne
K Sab Kuch Milta Nahi Chah Lene Se Ish Zamane Mein..... "Diggaj"
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 24th May 2006, 04:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
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25th May 2006, 04:31 PM

waah..kya likh diya hai aapne aaj to,gazab,har shabd ,har line...mindblowing

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

amazing...

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

bahot hi gehra likha hai aapne yeh to

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

aur is se zyada sacchi aur gehri baat nahin ho sakti hogi kaheen pyar karnewalon ke liye shayad...


"sanam" chahe zindagi se bas itna
aik mutthi main kaid kar loon,
yeh aasman hai jitna!"
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 25th May 2006, 05:18 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley


bhaut sach kaha hai aapne ----------------

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale


ji khud ki galti jo kisi ne fayda uthaya hamara ---------------


Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

ji bhaut khoob ye bhi sher

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

aankhon ka nasha ---------- bhaut khoob laga


badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

bhaut gahri baat kahi hai aapne ----------------



chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

bhaut khoob sara jahan mai nahi milegi wafa mere jaisi

---------------------

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale

bhaut bhaut achha raha aapko padhna




kahir aNdesh
maikash
maikash ji
aapki kahi hui har baat mai bhaut kuch chupa hua hai

padhna bhaut hi achha raha aapko

isi tarah aapko padhte rahenge yahi umeed hai

kuch sher to jaise khud ki daanatan kahte se lage

bus shayer jo likh de sabko apni kahani lage wahi to badhi baat hai

aapki
shrdh


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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 25th May 2006, 06:12 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash
waah waah maikash ji ek aur bahtareen kalaam ,aap ke khazaane se nikal kar hamaare saamne aa gaya,aap ka ye kalaam zindagi ki kuchh kadvi aur viprit paristhitio ko bayaan karta hai, lekin mai ye maanta hu ke koi bhi khraab paristhiti mai aadmi ko apni dhairya shakti,apne hosale,apne sanskaar,apne usool nahi chhodane chahiye
regards manu

mai ismai kuchh add karta hu,shayad aap ko pasand aaye

Andhero ne mil kar agar ghera hai hamko
Aa mil kar saath apne jakhmo ko hi jalaale

Parvarish-e-lauho-kalam karte rahenge
dil pe jo gujri hai kyun aankho se nikaale

ummido ki patwaaro se tufaano se ladenge
Apne haatho ke hoslale hai apne rakhwaale

Viraani-e-daura pe karam karte rahenge ham
Talkhi-e-ayaam ka saath mil kar nibhaale



Parvarish-e-lauho-kalam =takhti aur kalam ka upyog
( kavyarachna)

Viraani-e-daura pe= sansaar ki viraani

Talkhi-e-ayaam = jivan ki viparit , kathin ,kadvi par sachhi
paristhitiya

hope u like d same

regards
take care
manu
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25th May 2006, 08:23 PM

Janab Maikash Sahab............

Ghazal ka agaaz ek dard bhare ehsaas se kiya aur maqta to bahut hi khoob raha..........

jaise kisi paimaane se jaam chalakta ho..........

yunhi aap tashreef farmate rahiye...........



**(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*)**
*·.¸Paigaam -e- Aman¸.·*
**(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸)**


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
inhan ankhaaon vicho kadi, tere hanju vaghe si.....
aaj ki hoye, jehda ^AMAN^ da lahoo vagda ae......

AMAN RAHI
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 25th May 2006, 11:49 PM


miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Waaah...


Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

beautifulll....


badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

Waaaahhh... bahut khoob bhai...


"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale

bahut khoob....

Maikash bhai,

Humesha ki tarah bahut hi khoobsurat likha hai aapne... Is tarah ki ghazalein kam padhne ko milti ahin... aapne ise khooburati se bayaan kiya hai... Meri daad kubool lijiygea... likhte rhaiye yun hi... apna khayal rakhiyega....


Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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teri yaad ki shamaa se hai ujale
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sunita virender
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teri yaad ki shamaa se hai ujale - 27th May 2006, 01:24 PM

Maikash ji
namskar
appne kaya khoob kaha hai ki:

mile na mehnat se jo do nibaley,
roya mai dekh appney hattho ke shaley.

teri yaad ki shamaa se hai ujale....!

pesh hai.........!

"ujaley appni yaddo ke, hamarey saath rahney do,
na jaane kis gali mai, jindgi ki shaam ho jaye"





....Sunita Thakur....

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maikasH
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29th May 2006, 08:44 AM

mayank saahab

namaste

bhai aapne Ghazal ke ash'aar tab bhi pasaNd farmaaye aur ab bhi, ab miyaaN aap jaise khair khwaah saath na hoN to hum jaise nau'sikhiiyoN ko kaun puuche.....aapki daad sar aaNkhoN par saahab


shukriya


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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30th May 2006, 07:20 AM

Diggaj miyaaN

namaste

aarzoo kya hai ye to sochne bhar se dam nikal jaata hai saahab, tam'aam umr ke iNtezaar ka silaa sirf itna maaNga hai ke jin mehNdi lage haaThoN ki inaayat jeete jee naseeb nahiiN huii vohi kam-az-kam waqt-e-rukhsat ataa ho jaaye to aisa to na lagega ke ziNdagi bhi bekaar gayi aur maut bhi

aarzoo bohat badi cheez hai bhai, ho tab bhi aur na ho tab bhi....!!


aapne hamesha ki tarah Ghazal pasaNd farmaayi aur hamesha ki tarah mujh na'ehl ka hausla bhi badhaaya dil se shukurguzaar huuN aapka

milte raha kijiye, achcha lagta hai


shukriya

khair aNdesh
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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14th August 2006, 04:00 AM

shimul sahiba

aadaab

mohtarma aapko shayad Ghazal pasaNd nahiiN aayi isiliye udaas ho gayi..........aji agar aisi baat hai to maiN bohat sharmiNdaa huuN



rab raakha
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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maikasH
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14th August 2006, 04:03 AM

ruchika sahiba

namaste

Ghazal pasaNd farmaane ka shukriya


aur jo she'r aapko khusuusan pasaNd aaya hai uske liye alag se shukriya tasleem kijiye



maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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14th August 2006, 04:07 AM

shrdha jee

namaste

aapne har baar ki taar is baar bhi mujh na'ehl ka hausla badhaaya jiske liye mashkoor-o-mamnoon huuN aapka

ummiid hai aap aayiiNda bhi yuuN hi saath deti raheNgii


khair aNdesh
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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14th August 2006, 04:13 AM

manu saahab

namaste

bhai aapne bade kaam ki baat kahi ke aadmi ko apne usuuloN ko nahiiN choRna chahiye.........lekin manu bhai kabhi kabhi inhiiN usuuloN ki ba'daulat aisa nuksaan ho jaata hai ke aakhiri saaNs taq bharpaayi nahiiN ho paati aur agar maine ek-aadh usuul toR diya hota to aaj shaayad shayri kya hoti hai mujhe kahbar taq na hoti.......ba-har-haal aapki muravvat ka hamesha ki tarah shukurguzaar huuN.......aap jaise dost haiN to dil ki do baateN keh leta huuN bhai varna to............!!


milte raha kijiye
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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14th August 2006, 04:14 AM

aman saahab

namaste

Ghazal ki pazi'raii ke liye mera shukriya tasleem kijiye


khair aNdesh
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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14th August 2006, 02:30 PM

maikash saheb

hamesha ki tarah ek khoobsurat ghazel, behtreen ashaar se muzaiyen ki hai aap ne.
ek aisi ghazel jis ko mein ne kaee kaee baar parah aur saraha.
hamare naey likhne walon ke liye mera mashwara hai ke is forum per voh maikash saheb ko parhein, unhein pata chale gaa, ke ghazel kyaa hoti hai, tashbih o istuaaraat kis tarah istemaal hote hain aur kis tarah ek khoobsurat shahkaar takhleeq hota hai.

meri bharpoor daad apne bhai maikash ke liye, ke jin ka dam bohat ghanimat hai is forum per.

khush rahein, aabaad rahein.

musharrafhusain
   
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7th September 2006, 11:04 AM

pulkit miyaaN

namaste

bhai mazrat chahta huuN ke aapke khat ka jawaab dene meiN ta'khiir ho gayi

aapki muravvat aur hausla afzaai ke liye aapka shukurguzaar huuN


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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12th September 2006, 02:13 AM

sunita jee

namaste aur SSA


Ghazal ke chaNd ash'aar pasaNd farmaane ke liye shukriya tasleem kijiye


ummiid hai aap yuuN hi hausla badhaati raheNgii


khoob she'r yaad dilaaya aapne....!!


rab raakha
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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14th September 2006, 08:24 AM

muhtarim musharrafhusain saahab

aapke khat ka jawaab dene meiN hui ta'khiir ke liye nihayat sharmiNdaa aur mazrat'khwaa huuN....aadaab tasleem kijiye


aapka tabsira mere liye bohat mayine rakhta hai aur aap har dafaa mujh na'ehl ki betahaasha hausla afza'ii karte haiN...aapki muravvat ka jitna bhi shukurguzaar ho ke dikhaa sakuuN, kam hoga

taalib-e-ilm huuN isliye aapse ek darkhuvaast hai ke izzat-o-hausla afza'ii ke saath agar aap kaavish par ek taNqiidi nazar bhi daal liya kareiN to mujhe badi madadd milegi, urdu adab meiN tabadlaa-e-khayaal hi ek aisa zariya hai jis se naye nuskhe, tarqeebeiN aur laGhziishoN ka ehsaas hota hai....

ummiid hai aap meri guzaarish par gaur farmaayeNge


shurkiya

khair aNdesh
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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meena chheda
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 14th September 2006, 09:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash


Mere Dost Maikash,

kai baar padhi tumhari yah gajal...
yah dard waaqai mai bhul nahi sakte..

Meena
   
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Post 15th September 2006, 05:19 PM

Namaskaar Maikash Ji
Bahaut samay baad aapko parhney ka awsar mila tow accha laga. Bahaut khubsoaarti se bayaan kiya hai aapne ehsaason ko.

"miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale / roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley"

Isse post karne ke liye mera dhanyavaad sweekaar kijiyega.

v i p i n


विपिन


   
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maikasH
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18th September 2006, 07:34 AM

meena jee

namaste

aapne hamesha ki tarah mujh nalaayiq ki hausla afzaai ki hai , shukriya qabuul farmaaiye


khair aNdesh

maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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pooja_d
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 19th September 2006, 01:23 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash
salaam walekum maikash ji......

ek baat janna chahati hu ji.jaisa apne kaha ki shuru ke line me ek mehnti shaqs ka zikar hai.....ok baat thik hai...lekin aapne uske baad jo likh hai usme mujhe thoda sa pyaar aur asteen me saanp palne ki baat aur pyar me jo gam hota hai uska jikr kiya hai aisa laga...aapne pyaar me gum aur uss mehanti shaqs ko ek saath kyu likha.............

plz mujhe samjhaiye mujhme dimmag thoda kam hai na isi liye kuch jaldi samajh nahi aata hai ji...........agar kuch galat likh diya hai meine to maaf kar dijiyega.....
shukriya ji

gratse

aapki dost
pooja


===========Deepika===========
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Re: Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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maikasH
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Re: Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal - 19th September 2006, 01:35 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by pooja4588
salaam walekum maikash ji......

ek baat janna chahati hu ji.jaisa apne kaha ki shuru ke line me ek mehnti shaqs ka zikar hai.....ok baat thik hai...lekin aapne uske baad jo likh hai usme mujhe thoda sa pyaar aur asteen me saanp palne ki baat aur pyar me jo gam hota hai uska jikr kiya hai aisa laga...aapne pyaar me gum aur uss mehanti shaqs ko ek saath kyu likha.............

plz mujhe samjhaiye mujhme dimmag thoda kam hai na isi liye kuch jaldi samajh nahi aata hai ji...........agar kuch galat likh diya hai meine to maaf kar dijiyega.....
shukriya ji

gratse

aapki dost
pooja

walekum aadaad pooja jee

aksar Ghazal ka har she'r alag-alag subject par hota hai ya yuuN kahiye ye har she'r apne-aap meiN ek daastaan (story) hota hai aur ek she'r ka duusre she'r ke saath koi ta'lluq nahiiN hota......aisa har Ghazal meiN nahiiN hota.... Ghazal meiN dastaan bhi kahii jaati hai, yaani ek hi subject par puuri Ghazal likhi jaati aur aisii GhazloN ke har she'r ka duusre she'r se connection hota hai, aisii Ghazal ko "Ghazal-e-musalsal" kaha jaata hai......aur meri yeh Ghazal Ghazal-e-musalsal nahiiN hai

aur agar aap mere message ko phir se dhyaan se padheN to aapko yaqeenan samajh meiN aa jayega ka maiN sirf Ghazal ke matle (pehle she'r) ka zikr kar raha tha


shukriya

maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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maikasH
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19th September 2006, 01:43 AM

vipin mahodya

namaskaar

aapko yahaaN dekh kar mann bohat prasann hua......ye mera saubhagya hai jo aap jaise mitr apni kripa drishti ke yogya samajhte haiN

dhanyavaad

maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Parastaar
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21st September 2006, 09:42 AM

miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

Maikash Sahib...

Iss matle pe tau waaqayi mein aapke ustaad ji fakhr kareinge...khuub aagaaz kiya hai...waise aap issi khayaal ko lekar bhi kabhi puuri ghazal kahieyegaa kabhi...

ek nayaab kalaam ke liye daad kubuul kijiey...


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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akant
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hi - 21st September 2006, 12:36 PM

Maikash ji,

Namskaar... bahut dino baad aaj phir aapko padhane ka saubhagy mila..
yah meri khushnaseebi hai..


miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

sach hai.. ankho main anshu tabhi tapkte hain jab lagta hai ki nyaay imandaari se nahi hau.. bahut khub..

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

kya baat hai.... ab shikayat kere to kisase kere..
humne to kaanto ke raste banaye hain.. ab hume hi chalana padega...


Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

.. dard hamesha rahat hai.. shayad jeevan dard ke thapedo se hi gujarega..
es beech tumhari yaado ki lahar madhur umang de jaati hai... great...


kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

.. tumhara koi javab nahi... tum jo ker gaye shayd dusera mere liye nahi ker sakega...

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

.. jinda to dekhane ki hasrat hai magar.. shayd..lekin.. phir bhi
ek baar mehdi lagaker hi meri akhiri yatra ko yadagar bana dena..shayd meri ruh ki bhatakan khatam jaaye..


chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

tum aana jarur... kyonki main entjaar karunga tumhara tab tak jab tak saanse rahengi..

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale

......es line per kuchh kahane ki himmat nahi ho rahi hai......

Overall bas etan hi kahunga ki aapne es ghazal mein jaan daal di hai... eswer aapko khushiya de...



Akant...


*********
आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो...
AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho...
   
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maikasH
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12th October 2006, 05:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parastaar View Post
miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

Maikash Sahib...

Iss matle pe tau waaqayi mein aapke ustaad ji fakhr kareinge...khuub aagaaz kiya hai...waise aap issi khayaal ko lekar bhi kabhi puuri ghazal kahieyegaa kabhi...

ek nayaab kalaam ke liye daad kubuul kijiey...
namaskaar aur SSA paras jee


mazrat chahta huuN mujhe ilm nahiiN tha ke aapne apne khaadim ki is post par dastaq di hai vagarnaa maiN fauran se peshtar jawaab haazir karta


jee, maine kuch kalaam is mau'zuu par bhi likhe to haiN lekin mere hisaab se un meiN behtar'ii ki guNzaa'iish hai isliye abhi taq mehfil ki khidmat meiN pesh nahiiN kiye....muqammal ta'ur se to maiN apni kisi bhi Ghazal-o-nazm se mutma'iin kam hi hota huuN go ek baar padhne laayaq ho jaaye to zaruur haazir karuNga

daad ke liye shukriya qabuul famaa'iiye

rab raakha
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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dheer
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12th October 2006, 11:00 AM

Maikash sahab!!
Shayad hi aapka koi tukda, najm kata ya kalam aisa ho ... jo dil ko NA chuu jaye .... har ek umda aur aala darje ka hota hai .... aur usi mala mein ek aur phool piroya hai aaj apne..!!
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12th October 2006, 12:28 PM

maikash ji

jai shree karishna........

aapki peshkas abhi abhi maine padhi bahot hi behtrin tarike se aap apni har peshkas pesh kate ho

aap hamesha yuhi likhte rahiye ..bas aisi aapse gujarish karta hu

mere dil se nikali daad kubul kijiyega


khus rahiye maikash ji


aapka dost
dhaval



*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
   
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manoj kureel
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12th October 2006, 07:44 PM

miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale



WAH...! WAH..!!!
Maikash bhai
namashkar
har sher..ek chalakta hua "jaam" hai aapki gazal ki "botal" ka...jaise jaise padhta gaya...waise waise surur chathta gaya...!!pilana wala jab aap jaisa "saaqi" ho to "maikashi" ka mazza hi kuch aur hai.!!
ek "toote paimane" ki bharpoor daad kubool kijiye...!!
-MANOJ


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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Harash Mahajan
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12th October 2006, 09:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by maikasH View Post
aadaab dosto,




Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN


Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :-



miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale




kahir aNdesh
maikash
Waah maikash saheb...chaye ka payaala haathoN main hi sookh gaya janaab....bahoot khoob.....Ek ek ek sher khoob kaha aapne..makte ka andaaz bahoot khoob zanaab.....hamaari daad kabool keejiye janaab ji.....harash
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maikasH
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15th October 2006, 07:53 AM

Akant saheb

namaste

bhai aapne jis qadar hausla afza'ii ki hai uske liye aapka shukriya adaa karne ke liye mere paas alfaaz nahiiN hai....ba-har-haal wohi mashoor-e-zamaana lafz-e-shukriya to hai hi so qabuul farmaaiye....ummiid hai ke aap aage bhi yuuN hi saath dete raheNge


bohat shukriya miyaaN


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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maikasH
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15th October 2006, 07:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dheer View Post
Maikash sahab!!
Shayad hi aapka koi tukda, najm kata ya kalam aisa ho ... jo dil ko NA chuu jaye .... har ek umda aur aala darje ka hota hai .... aur usi mala mein ek aur phool piroya hai aaj apne..!!

bhai ye to aapki nigah-e-karam ka kamaal hai jo mujh na'ehl ko kisi laayaq samajhte haiN varna kahaaN maiN aur kahaaN shayri


bohat shukriya


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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maikasH
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15th October 2006, 07:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dhavalrami4you View Post
maikash ji

jai shree karishna........

aapki peshkas abhi abhi maine padhi bahot hi behtrin tarike se aap apni har peshkas pesh kate ho

aap hamesha yuhi likhte rahiye ..bas aisi aapse gujarish karta hu

mere dil se nikali daad kubul kijiyega


khus rahiye maikash ji


aapka dost
dhaval

aapki daad sar maathe par miyaaN, aap jaise dost jab itni muhabbat se pesh aate haiN to aapka haq ban'ta hai, huqm kiya kijiye, ab guzaarish se to mua'mlaa duusre level pe chala jaata hai

aap be'fiqr rahiye, mashq jaari hai


shukriya

maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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maikasH
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15th October 2006, 08:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by manoj kureel View Post
miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley

kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN
humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale

Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN
terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale

kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi
vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale

badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale

chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar
maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale

"maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko
"sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale



WAH...! WAH..!!!
Maikash bhai
namashkar
har sher..ek chalakta hua "jaam" hai aapki gazal ki "botal" ka...jaise jaise padhta gaya...waise waise surur chathta gaya...!!pilana wala jab aap jaisa "saaqi" ho to "maikashi" ka mazza hi kuch aur hai.!!
ek "toote paimane" ki bharpoor daad kubool kijiye...!!
-MANOJ

Manoj saahab

aadaab-o-namaste

bhai aapke tabsire ne to "botal" uthaane pe majbuur kar diya

ab subah gar tabiyat bigdi to uske zimmedaar aap thehre


mazaaq bar-taraf, daad ke liye shukruguzaar huuN aapka, dua-salaam karte raha kijiye


maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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maikasH
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15th October 2006, 08:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harash Mahajan View Post
Waah maikash saheb...chaye ka payaala haathoN main hi sookh gaya janaab....bahoot khoob.....Ek ek ek sher khoob kaha aapne..makte ka andaaz bahoot khoob zanaab.....hamaari daad kabool keejiye janaab ji.....harash
meri khush'nasiibi miyaaN jo aapko ye adna si kavish qaabil-e-ga'ur lagii, aapne apna qeemati waqt nikaal kar hausla afza'ii ki badaa mashkuur-o-mamnoon huuN aapka......ab kya hai ke jab koi she'r shaayir ke haalaat ka aa'iina ho to uss se lagaav hona zaahiiri baat hai , mujhe bhi is Ghazal ki maqtaa pasaNd hai....aapki zarra'nawaazi ka shukriya



maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kaleejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................

Last edited by maikasH; 15th October 2006 at 08:11 AM..
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