Quote:
Originally Posted by mujib66
Dil pe moula ki mherbani hai
Dil muhabbat ki raajdhani hai
Raajdaani lafz halanki bahut munasib nahi hai..magar in hindustani tradition nibh jayega...magar bus nibh hi jayegA...saani ki ek koshish aur honi chaiye.
Khaab hum dono mil ke dekhenge
Jab talak apni zindegani hai
Bahut khoob bhai...sčedha sčedha bolta hua Sher...picture perfect.
Tumse milte hi bhool jata hun
Apne gham ki jo bhi kahani hai
Filmi Sher hai , upar wale Sher ki tarah..,.bahut khoob....aise Sher likhna mazaak nahi...
Kal jo hoga oh dekha jayega
Zindegi aaj to suhani hai
Same here....ek hi series ke Sher ...same tarz liye huye.....bahut khoob....actually geet hai.
Chod den uske dar se jeena kya
Mout ayegi oh to aani hai
I guess , u mean this
ChoD de...uske Dar se jeena kya...???
Bahut badiya bhai....good word play....ye ghazal ka Sher hai...not a Sher of song.
Likh do ek aur chithi jaldi se
Jo mere paas hai purani hai
'Jaldi se'...ye ghazal ki language nahi.....
Bhej do ek aur chitthi tum...likh do ik aur chitthi fauran ab...... aisa kuch try karo...
Magar Sher bahut accha hai
Saath mera sada nibhaoge
Meri aisi hi khushgumani hai
Us se bhi gehri hai meri chahat
Jitna sagar men gehra pani hai
Har oh tohfa sambhaal ke rakhna
Jo mere pyar ki nishaani hai
Aur Parwaaz likhte jao tum
Dunya ghazlon ki hi diwani hai
Dunya gazlon hi ki diwani hai.....ye try karke dekho?
By Mujeeb Parwaaz.
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Aapki shayri me ek imandari aur maasomiyat hai....meri taraf se aapko golden daad.