A view of heaven

[AmanRajRattan]

A view of heaven

Sinned I have,
Cheated I have,
Loved I have,
Yet still,
I am touching the ground that I walk on,
My hands gently moving around the surface,
Staring down into my shadows face,
The sun finishing its set...
Falling into crepuscule...
My shadow disappears.
My head,
My body,
Bowing down...
Eyes wide shut...
Reminiscing the past and it moments that brought me down,
To my senses when I looked into her eyes,
To the ground when I first saw her,
Onto my knees…
Where I am today…
Begging for forgiveness,
Trying to forget my grieves.
Small particles of dirt gather in my hands,
My eyes open wide,
Darkness camouflages the dirt,
Yet still,
My face is buried within,
Enshrouded in a pile of dirt,
My breathing becomes difficult...
Each breath struggling to blow away a haunting memory...
Memories that did not need to be made,
Yet still,
My mistakes cause them to never fade.
The stones become harder to hold in my hand,
Harder to crush,
My body,
Still as a rock...
My face,
Suffocating inside of the dirt...
A merited punishment,
Yet still,
I am able to breathe again,
My mind only thinks of her again,
Lost again...
In my own thoughts...
Have I been forgiven?
I look to the heavens for answers,
The sublime beauty of the night,
Yet still,
Incomparable to the beauty of her first sight.
A sudden glow appears,
Or is it just her face?
The magical light that I first saw in her eyes,
The light that she showed me notwithstanding my lies...
The light that I only see and believe in when closing my eyes...
A view of heaven,
A sign of hope,
A small dot it is,
Out of orbit,
Out of this world...
Out of the ordinary...
Yet still,
I cannot blink...
I stare into space...
Or is it just her face?
Why do I see it from afar?
You have come into my life...
Please do not go far...

Aman Rattan
July 29, 2005