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Jane kyu tere paas
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hasrat
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Love Jane kyu tere paas - 11th November 2009, 03:09 PM
Bas ek koshish ki hai, ummid hai aap sabhi ko pasand aaye........... agar koi galti ki ho to pls mujeh jarur bataye me usse sudharne ki koshish karungi

Jane kyu tere pas aane se dar lagta hai,
tujhe khone ke ahsaas se dar lagta hai,

meri saaso ka teri saaso se jo rishta hai,
bas un saaso ke tut jane se dar lagta hai,

hame tere chune ke andaaz se dar lagta hai,
tere pas aakar dur jane se dar lagta hai,

In aankho me tera hi sapna basta hai,
ab to dil bhi diye ki tarah jala karta hai,

koi is diye ko kaise bhuja sakta hai,
jo khud jalkar is jahan ko roshan karta hai..........


Dhanyawad

(๏̯͡๏) (๏̯͡๏)

Hasratein dilo ki chupaye nahi chupti hai,
dard juba par bankar bayan sab karti hai.....

*****************************
Dard ki mehfil me ek sher hum bhi aarz kiya karte hai..
Na kisi se marham Na duaon ki Ummed kiya karte hai..
kayi chehre lekar log yaha jiya karte hai.......
hum in aasunao ko ek chehre ke liye peeya karte hai....
   
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kwahish
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11th November 2009, 03:33 PM
Aadaab...........

Aapki koshish to achchi haiN......... Khayal aur ahsaas bhi khoob haiN.....
LIkhati rahiye....... Nikhar aayenga aapki lekhani mein....

Aapko likhane ka ek andaaz batata huN aapke hi lines mein se ek sher behad khoob bana hai aur sahiN bhi... gar aap use samjh gayi to aapki lekhani me sudhar aa jayenga...

Yeh complate sher hua...... yahan red words rhyme words hai......... Jisse shayari mein kafiyaa kehte hai...... Aise hi rhyme words aap ko aur sher ke secound line mein use karne hote haiN..... yeh aapka first sher haiN....

Jane kyu tere pas aane se dar lagta hai,
tere pas aakar dur jane se dar lagta hai,

Keep it up keep writting...
May God bless You..
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naresh_mehra110
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12th November 2009, 10:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by neha_hasratein View Post
Jane kyu tere pas aane se dar lagta hai,
tujhe khone ke ahsaas se dar lagta hai,

meri saaso ka teri saaso se jo rishta hai,
bas un saaso ke tut jane se dar lagta hai,

hame tere chune ke andaaz se dar lagta hai,
tere pas aakar dur jane se dar lagta hai,

In aankho me tera hi sapna basta hai,
ab to dil bhi diye ki tarah jala karta hai,

koi is diye ko kaise bhuja sakta hai,
jo khud jalkar is jahan ko roshan karta hai..........
Neha Ji....aapki koshish toh achi hai.........ehsaason mai gehraai bhi dikhti hai.....par upar sameer ji ne aapko sher mai qaafiye ka kaise istemaal karte hai....samjhaane ki koshish ki hai....aap ispar dhiyaan dengi toh aur bhi aapki rachnaaon mai nikhaar aata chala jayega....kiyonki aapki soch aur ehsaas bahut ache hai....aap main likhne ki kaabliyat bhi bahut dikhaai deti hai.....mujhe yakin hai....aap jald seekh kar behtar shayaraa ki kataar mai aa jayengi....aisi hum kaamna kate hai....



YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...

---Naresh Mehra----
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hasrat
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Smile 12th November 2009, 10:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwahish View Post
Aadaab...........

Aapki koshish to achchi haiN......... Khayal aur ahsaas bhi khoob haiN.....
LIkhati rahiye....... Nikhar aayenga aapki lekhani mein....

Aapko likhane ka ek andaaz batata huN aapke hi lines mein se ek sher behad khoob bana hai aur sahiN bhi... gar aap use samjh gayi to aapki lekhani me sudhar aa jayenga...

Yeh complate sher hua...... yahan red words rhyme words hai......... Jisse shayari mein kafiyaa kehte hai...... Aise hi rhyme words aap ko aur sher ke secound line mein use karne hote haiN..... yeh aapka first sher haiN....

Jane kyu tere pas aane se dar lagta hai,
tere pas aakar dur jane se dar lagta hai,

Keep it up keep writting...
May God bless You..
kwahish jee apka bahut bahut shukriya ki aapne hamari lekhne ko itne dhayan se padha or usme sudhar bhi bataye... aap issi tarah se sath dete rahiye hamari bhi koshish jari rahegi...

dhanyawad

(๏̯͡๏) (๏̯͡๏)

Hasratein dilo ki chupaye nahi chupti hai,
dard juba par bankar bayan sab karti hai.....

*****************************
Dard ki mehfil me ek sher hum bhi aarz kiya karte hai..
Na kisi se marham Na duaon ki Ummed kiya karte hai..
kayi chehre lekar log yaha jiya karte hai.......
hum in aasunao ko ek chehre ke liye peeya karte hai....
   
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hasrat
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12th November 2009, 10:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by naresh_mehra110 View Post
Neha Ji....aapki koshish toh achi hai.........ehsaason mai gehraai bhi dikhti hai.....par upar sameer ji ne aapko sher mai qaafiye ka kaise istemaal karte hai....samjhaane ki koshish ki hai....aap ispar dhiyaan dengi toh aur bhi aapki rachnaaon mai nikhaar aata chala jayega....kiyonki aapki soch aur ehsaas bahut ache hai....aap main likhne ki kaabliyat bhi bahut dikhaai deti hai.....mujhe yakin hai....aap jald seekh kar behtar shayaraa ki kataar mai aa jayengi....aisi hum kaamna kate hai....

naresh ji apki bahut bahut aabhari hu ki aapne meri kalpanayo ki bhawnayoo ko samjha hai,...

aage bhi yahi koshish karungi ki aapni kalpanayoo ko sahi shabdo me dhal saku

Dhanyawad...

(๏̯͡๏) (๏̯͡๏)

Hasratein dilo ki chupaye nahi chupti hai,
dard juba par bankar bayan sab karti hai.....

*****************************
Dard ki mehfil me ek sher hum bhi aarz kiya karte hai..
Na kisi se marham Na duaon ki Ummed kiya karte hai..
kayi chehre lekar log yaha jiya karte hai.......
hum in aasunao ko ek chehre ke liye peeya karte hai....
   
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