Ghazal: apne hisse ki khushiyaan sab udaas aayi...

[Pradhyuman]

Aadaab dosto,

chand mamooli se ashaar jo ki haal hi meiN likhe hain..arz hai..


behisii ka phir dilaane jo ehsaas aayi
apne hisse ki khushiyaan sab udaas aayi

woh jo aayi hai muhalle ke sabhi ghar hoke
humse kehti hai hamaare liye khaas aayi

jab kabhi dil ne maanga hai aasmaan saara
jo bhi apna tha ho apna bas yehi aas aayi

kaun apna tha zamaane meiN jataane shayad
aakhri dum bhi kam bakhti mere paas aayi

tum to ruthe ho khuda se aise "bismil"
zindagi di jo sab ko hi yahaan raas aayi

Pradhyuman - Bismil

[AHMAD SHAKIL]

Boht Khooob Ghazal Hui Hai Ji....

[sameer'shaad']

Originally Posted by Pradhyuman

Aadaab dosto,

chand mamooli se ashaar jo ki haal hi meiN likhe hain..arz hai..


behisii ka phir dilaane jo ehsaas aayi
apne hisse ki khushiyaan sab udaas aayi

woh jo aayi hai muhalle ke sabhi ghar hoke
humse kehti hai hamaare liye khaas aayi

jab kabhi dil ne maanga hai aasmaan saara
jo bhi apna tha ho apna bas yehi aas aayi

kaun apna tha zamaane meiN jataane shayad
aakhri dum bhi kam bakhti mere paas aayi

tum to ruthe ho khuda se aise "bismil"
zindagi di jo sab ko hi yahaan raas aayi

Pradhyuman - Bismil

Behad khuubsurat AasharoN se milwaaya aapne,.. wese to saari ghazal hi kaabile tareef rahi hai magar jo sher mujhe sabse khaas lagaa wo ye hai..

jab kabhi dil ne maanga hai aasmaan saara
jo bhi apna tha ho apna bas yehi aas aayi

likhte raheN.. khush raheN..

Shaad...

[AHMAD SHAKIL]

Bismil Ji …….. Aap Ki Ye Ghazal Boht Khooob Rahi…… Achi Soch Or Andaz-e-Bayan Bhi Khoob Hai…Meri Taraf Se Daad Qabool Farmayen…..

behisii ka phir dilaane jo ehsaas aayi
apne hisse ki khushiyaan sab udaas aayi


Bs Is Ghazal Ka Matla Theak Se Nahi Khul Saka Mujh Pr….. Shayad Ye Meri Naqas Samjh Hai… Magar Is Baray Me Kuch Arz Krna Chahta Hun…..

1- Aap Ne Pehlay Misray Me Lafz "Behisi" Istemaal Kia Hai… Mere Khayal Me Agar Ye Be-Basi Hota To Ziada Theak Tha….

2- Sani Misray Me Aap Ne Kaha Ke Apnay Hissay ki Khushian Sab Udaas Aayi… Mujhy Samjh Nahi Aa Saki Ke Khushian Kaisay Udaas Aati Hain… Khushi To Khushi Hee Hoti Hai…..

3- Is Ke Ilawa Aap Ne Qafiya Or Radeef Me "Waahid" Ka Seegha Chuna Hai… Jaisay "Udaas Aayi" Raas Aayi…. Magar Isi Sher Ke Saci Misra Me Aap Keh Rahay Hain Ke Khushian Udaas Aayi…. Khushian To Jama Hai Or Un Ke Sath Waahid Ka Seegha Kaisay Lag Sakta Hai…?

Aap Aisa Keh Saktay Hain……

Be-Basi Ka Phir Jo Dilanay Ahsaas Aayi
Apni Hissay Ki Khushi Kam Hamen Raas Aayi

Agar Aap Ko Meri Baat Theak Lagay To Aik Baar Ghaur Zarur Kijiye Ga…. Nahi To Aap Meri Islaah Farma Dijiye Ga…Meri Kisi Bhi Baat se Aap Naraz Nahona Plzzzz……. Mujhy Jo Mehsus Hua Me Ne Keh Dia….Aik Baar Phir Baqi Ashaar Ke Liye Daad Qabool Farmayen …. Khush Rahen….

[Pradhyuman]

shaad bhai,

bahot bahot shukriyaa aapka...hamesha khush rahen

aapka dost,
Pradhyuman

ahamad bhai,

bahot bahot shukriyaa aapka ki aapne apni baat yahaan rakhi..acha laga padhkar...

behisii ka phir dilaane jo ehsaas aayi
apne hisse ki khushiyaan sab udaas aayi


iss sher ke maaine yeh hai ki mujhme ehsaas hai hi nahi..iss baat ka ehsaas dilaane aaye ho waise mere hisse ki khushiyaan udaas aayi..khushi aapko khush karne aati hai..magar khud kya khushi se aati hai??..baat thodi kaalpanik hai..maslan bas use aana tha (majboori meiN) to aa gayi..ab lekhak to apni soch ka daayra aam zabaan aur samjh se aage le hi ja sakta hai..magar haan yeh baat maiN gar theek se keh nahi paaya to woh meri hi galti hai..

jo aapne aayi pe kahaa woh interesting laga..khushiyaan aayeN (plural) hona chahiye..aur khushi aayi (singular) hona chahiye..

phir se ek koshish karta hun..(bebasi nahi behisi hi kehna chaah rahaa hun..)

behisi ka phir dilaane jo ehsaas aayi
apne hisse ki khushi bhi ab udaas aayi

aapki raaey zaroor chahiye hogi

aapka dost,
Pradhyuman

[AHMAD SHAKIL]

Bismil JI.... Boht Shukria Ke Aap Ne Meri Raaye Ko Parha Or Tawajjo Farmayi..... Abhi Jo Aap Ne Dobara Sher Kaha Hai... Wo NIsbatn Behter Hai.... Acha Laga Hai......

Yunhi Likhtay Rahen Or Khush Rahen