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Bewafa.... |
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(#1)
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Bewafa.... -
15th April 2003, 01:53 PM
aaj phir uski yaad bahot dino baad aayi hai
bus inhi yadon se uski tasveer si bun aayi hai hamein to bus yahi ek ghum satata hai kya is tarha koi kisi ko chod jata hai aarzoo to thi tere pyar me jan dene ki Qasmein,Vade hain sirf baten kehne ki koi to wajha hogi tere bewafai karne ki tujhe aadta to nahi thi mujhe dard dene ki ab tera naam lene se zuban ladkhadati hai jub chaha tera naam lena yahi kehti jati hai kyon us bewafa keliye mujhe takleef deta hai ab to uska naam le jo tera naam leta hai socha tha ab is dil ka faisla karna hai jo tujhse na keh saka kisi aur se kehna hai magar yeh mera dil ganwara nahi karta hai isiliye abhi bhi tera dard sahta hai tere hur ek dhoke aub mujhe yaad rakhna hai jo tune zakhm diye hain unhe hara rakhna hai Khuda poochega bata "Fanah" tera qatil kaon hai to vaqte aakhir mein tujhpe haanth rakhna hai ------------------------------------------------------------------------- i know it is not a ghazal..in any way but it's my first attempt in writing ghazal....so i hope some attention for my this ghazal... main aap logon ke reply ka muntazir rahoonga..... For her.... By her... |
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kabile tarif |
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(#2)
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kabile tarif -
15th April 2003, 03:22 PM
Fanah jee,
aapki line pasand aayi. kafi achchha likha hai aapne.ek line vishes taur per pasand aayee. [I]koi to wajha hogi tere bewfai ki,[I] tujhe aadat to nahi thi mujhe dard dene ki. keep up writting, Akant.. आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो... AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho... |
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(#3)
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15th April 2003, 03:48 PM
Thanks Akant...for u'r response...
i will try my best..... For her.... By her... |
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(#4)
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15th April 2003, 06:54 PM
aapne bahut hi achha likha hai, dard aapke geet main dikhai deta hai. Likhte rahiyega.
Guzare hain mohabbat main aise mukaam se Nafrat si ho gayi hai mohabbat ke naam se Jai Mata Di |
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(#5)
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16th April 2003, 11:45 AM
Fanah aap ki ghazal padhi achcha likha hai aapne.. thodi aur koshish kariye jisse aap aur achcha likh sakein.. waise aap ka yeh sher zyada pasand aaya.. aaj phir uski yaad bahot dino baad aayi hai bus inhi yadon se uski tasveer si bun aayi hai hamein to bus yahi ek ghum satata hai kya is tarha koi kisi ko chod jata hai aise hi likhte rahiye... ........... kuch too hi mere dard ka mazmoon samajh le hansta hua chehra to zamane ke liye hai |
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(#6)
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16th April 2003, 05:30 PM
Fanah ji,
Achhi nazm likhi hai aapne.Ji isse hum ghazal to nahin keh sakte,ghazal ki definition jaanne ke liye you can refer to the first thread posted by Maikhash sahab in shayri-e-dard section. Par aap yeh kyon sochte hain ke yeh nazm kisi ghazal se kam hai..main to yeh kahoonga ke bahut der baad aise nazm parne ko mili hai jisne dil ko chuaa hai.Aapki likhti yeh lines bahut pasand aayi tere hur ek dhoke aub mujhe yaad rakhna hai jo tune zakhm diye hain unhe hara rakhna hai Khuda poochega bata "Fanah" tera qatil kaon hai to vaqte aakhir mein tujhpe haanth rakhna hai Likhte rahiye Ghayal parwana chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai... |
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Fanah ji |
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(#7)
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Ishiqka
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Fanah ji -
16th April 2003, 05:45 PM
Hi. aap kaise hai? peheli baat ye ke welcome to shayri.com. aap aapne pehli shayri mei hi kamal kar diya. bahut khush hue par kar. dua karte hai aap yaha aur likhe aur hum aise hi parte rehe. take care and have a great time
Ishiqka |
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Thanks...Thanks.. |
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(#8)
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Thanks...Thanks.. -
17th April 2003, 01:27 PM
To..Ghayal Parwana
Parwana main i aapriciate with u'r suggesion... aur main poori koshish karoonga aap logon ki umeed pe khara utarne ki....thanks for u'r reply. aise hi saath dete rahiye... To..Ishiqa Ishiqa firstly i m sorry that i have been registered to shayri.com since two or three months. but i m not a regular viewer of shayri.com....i have post some of six sher...only. u like my writing, thanks for that...Ishiqa ain koshish karoonga aur achcha likhne ki, jisse aap hamesha mujhe padhti rahen. thanks once again. Take care___ For her.... By her... |
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(#9)
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17th April 2003, 01:47 PM
To..Damal
Damal aap ko mera likha hua pasand aaya uske liye main aap ka shukriya ada karta hoon...umeed hai aap aise hi saath dete rahenge.... aap bhi likhte rahiye..aap ki ghazal padhkar mujhe bahot achcha lagta hai... Take Care... khudahafiz... For her.... By her... |
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(#10)
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17th April 2003, 02:41 PM
thanks Fanah jo aap meri ghazal padhna pasand karte hain..
umeed hai aap achcha likhte rahenge.. yahi dua hai aap ke liye...... Allahafiz... ........... kuch too hi mere dard ka mazmoon samajh le hansta hua chehra to zamane ke liye hai |
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(#11)
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17th April 2003, 04:56 PM
hi Fanah ji,
i really like this post. esp the lines "aarzoo to thi tere pyar me jan dene ki Qasmein,Vade hain sirf baten kehne ki koi to wajha hogi tere bewafai karne ki tujhe aadta to nahi thi mujhe dard dene ki" zadadar wohi log itna gehera zakhm de jate hai jinse yeh kabhi umeed bhi nahin hoti aur kabhi socha bhi nahin hota. issliye woh choot itni deep ho jati hai. once again bohot acha likha aap ne! Na kisi apne ki arzoo aab, Na kisi baigane ki talash hai, Mai to phool hoon tanhaiyon ka, Mujhe bas virane ki talash hai. |
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(#12)
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18th April 2003, 11:50 AM
khamoshi aap ko mera likha hua pasand aaya uske liye main
aap ka shukr ghuzar hoon..main bhi aap ki ghazal padhta rahta hoon bahot achcha likhte hain aap.... thanks once again..umeed hai aap aise hi saath dete rahenge.... Khudahafiz.... For her.... By her... |
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hi |
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(#13)
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kuch likhne ki koshish
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hi -
18th April 2003, 06:11 PM
fana
how r u, i read ur post first time itys really nice n well written,what can i say mope is good bye4 now khan banjara''' <mohabbat ka maza to judai main hay> |
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(#14)
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19th April 2003, 11:25 AM
thanks Banjara that u like my post to read...
i m really very delighted to get a lot of viewer of my post.. Banjara i will try to fulfil the expectation of every people.. I think u r new art shayri.com... Welcome my friend... and keep in touch... For her.... By her... |
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hi |
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(#15)
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kuch likhne ki koshish
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hi -
19th April 2003, 02:31 PM
fanah
how r u thanks 4 replying me, i but infact all people expecting to to give better n better posts, rahi bat new hone ki to mujhay kuch waqt ho gya hay join kiye hwe,agar aap meri posts read karna chaho to members area main b ki sereies main chek kar sakte ho oki bye 4 now khan banjara''' <mohabbat ka maza to judai main hay> |
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