Shayri.com  

Go Back   Shayri.com > Shayri > Shayri-e-Dard

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
Old
  (#1)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai! - 14th October 2009, 06:30 PM

aadaab dostoN!
ek taaza tarHee ghazal pesh e khidmat hai! apnee aaraa se nawaaziyegaa.
shukriyaa

aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

"ek soorat! ek hee tasweer hai!" -- Bahadur shah "Zafar"
mujh ko meree ham-nafas hee "heer" hai,

ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

kaisee hasrat? "dheer" kaisee aarazoo?
aap hee pehnee huee zanjeer hai!

--Shamsheer - talvaar
--tadbeer - tareeqah, arrangement
-- taameer - construction
-- taabeer - reality of the dream
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#2)
Amanush...
Tanhaa Raahi
Amanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comAmanush... is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
Amanush...'s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,700
Join Date: Oct 2003
Rep Power: 51
14th October 2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dheer View Post
aadaab dostoN!
ek taaza tarHee ghazal pesh e khidmat hai! apnee aaraa se nawaaziyegaa.
shukriyaa

aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

"ek soorat! ek hee tasweer hai!" -- Bahadur shah "Zafar"
mujh ko meree ham-nafas hee "heer" hai,

ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

kaisee hasrat? "dheer" kaisee aarazoo?
aap hee pehnee huee zanjeer hai!

--Shamsheer - talvaar
--tadbeer - tareeqah, arrangement
-- taameer - construction
-- taabeer - reality of the dream
Ek hi saans main parhaa hai humne iss ghazal ko, Dheer Ji...! Hamesha ki tarah bahut accha kalaam likha hai aap ne...! Har sher tareef e kaabil, daad kabuul karein...!

Yunhi likhte rahein aur apna khayaal bhi rakhiyegaa, ok...?

Duaaon ke saath



Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai

  Send a message via Yahoo to Amanush... Send a message via MSN to Amanush...  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#3)
naresh_mehra110
Anshumali
naresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comnaresh_mehra110 is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
naresh_mehra110's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 84
14th October 2009, 06:54 PM

Bahut khub....Dheer ji.....bahut acha likha hai aapne.....sabhi sher dil ki gehraai tak jaate hai....mujhe aapki tamam ghazal bahut pasand aai....maine do baar padha...har baar naya ehsaas de gai....aise hi likhte rahiye...khush rahiye...

dil se daad....kabul kare...

aur apna khayal rakhiyega...
duaaon ke saath....




YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...


---Naresh Mehra----
  Send a message via Yahoo to naresh_mehra110  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#4)
m.mayoos
Registered User
m.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud ofm.mayoos has much to be proud of
 
m.mayoos's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 655
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Waltham, MA
Rep Power: 24
14th October 2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dheer View Post
aadaab dostoN!
ek taaza tarHee ghazal pesh e khidmat hai! apnee aaraa se nawaaziyegaa.
shukriyaa

aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

"ek soorat! ek hee tasweer hai!" -- Bahadur shah "Zafar"
mujh ko meree ham-nafas hee "heer" hai,

ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

kaisee hasrat? "dheer" kaisee aarazoo?
aap hee pehnee huee zanjeer hai!

--Shamsheer - talvaar
--tadbeer - tareeqah, arrangement
-- taameer - construction
-- taabeer - reality of the dream
Very beautiful Dheer

ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

these three were superb.............


ता उम्र रहा इक रोज़-ए -मुकम्मल का इंतज़ार
किसी में शाम न मिली तो किसी में सहर नहीं
  Send a message via Yahoo to m.mayoos  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#5)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
15th October 2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mushkil View Post
Ek hi saans main parhaa hai humne iss ghazal ko, Dheer Ji...! Hamesha ki tarah bahut accha kalaam likha hai aap ne...! Har sher tareef e kaabil, daad kabuul karein...!

Yunhi likhte rahein aur apna khayaal bhi rakhiyegaa, ok...?

Duaaon ke saath

aadaab arz!
aapkee is pur_khuloos daad aur duaaoN ke liye behad mamnoon huN!
aap bhee apnaa khayaal rakhiyegaa.
shukriyaa

khairandesh
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#6)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
15th October 2009, 08:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by naresh_mehra110 View Post
Bahut khub....Dheer ji.....bahut acha likha hai aapne.....sabhi sher dil ki gehraai tak jaate hai....mujhe aapki tamam ghazal bahut pasand aai....maine do baar padha...har baar naya ehsaas de gai....aise hi likhte rahiye...khush rahiye...

dil se daad....kabul kare...

aur apna khayal rakhiyega...
duaaon ke saath....
namaste Naresh saHeb!
koshish rahtee hai keh kam-az-kam kuchh ashaar to dostoN ke diloN ko chhuu leN. aur jab kaamyaabee haaSil hotee hai to meraa dil "garden garden" ho jaataa hai.
aapkee daad ke liye behad shukriyaa.

dua go
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#7)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
15th October 2009, 08:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by m.mayoos View Post
Very beautiful Dheer

ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

these three were superb.............
Thanks a Lot Sir!
Take Care.
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#8)
Hassan
Some Mirrors Lie...
Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
Hassan's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 41
15th October 2009, 08:57 AM

Dheer Jii,,

Pheli dafa aap ki composition phar raha hon,,
Boht hi kamaaaal likha aap nay....

Outstanding..... I like it very much,,,

Rep +++ added,,

Aisay hi likhtay rahiye,,,

Khush rahiye,,

GOD BLESS YOU,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#9)
shipra
Registered User
shipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to beholdshipra is a splendid one to behold
 
shipra's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 474
Join Date: Apr 2009
Rep Power: 22
15th October 2009, 11:23 AM

Dheer ji, bahut acchi gazal h. ye sher kuch khaas pasand aaya
ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#10)
kwahish
An Incomplite Dream
kwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud ofkwahish has much to be proud of
 
kwahish's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 27
15th October 2009, 02:30 PM

Dheer sahab AadaaB

Janab aapki gazal per nazar padhi aur padi hi rahi behad mutmain kar diya aapki is gazal ne, Kuch sher wakai behad naye khayaloN se labrez hai, dil ko sukuN hua padhker ke aisi GazaleN bhi abhi likhi jaati hai

Yeh sher Naye andaaz ke lage... thought bhi khoob hai..

aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!


ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!


khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!


ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!


jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

Aise hi likhate rahiye,
Khuda aapki kalam mein aur zor bakshe Aameen......

Khush rahiye
Khuda Hafez..


  Send a message via Yahoo to kwahish  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#11)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
15th October 2009, 07:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan Rasheed View Post
Dheer Jii,,

Pheli dafa aap ki composition phar raha hon,,
Boht hi kamaaaal likha aap nay....

Outstanding..... I like it very much,,,

Rep +++ added,,

Aisay hi likhtay rahiye,,,

Khush rahiye,,

GOD BLESS YOU,,
Rasheed saHeb! aadaab arz!
mujhe khushee hai keh aap pehlee daf'h meree kaavish par aaye aur aapko niraash naheeN honaa paRaa.
zah e naseeb!
khairandesh
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#12)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
15th October 2009, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shipra View Post
Dheer ji, bahut acchi gazal h. ye sher kuch khaas pasand aaya
ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!
bahut shukriya Shipra ji!

dua go
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#13)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
15th October 2009, 08:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kwahish View Post
Dheer sahab AadaaB

Janab aapki gazal per nazar padhi aur padi hi rahi behad mutmain kar diya aapki is gazal ne, Kuch sher wakai behad naye khayaloN se labrez hai, dil ko sukuN hua padhker ke aisi GazaleN bhi abhi likhi jaati hai

Yeh sher Naye andaaz ke lage... thought bhi khoob hai..

aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!


ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!


khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!


ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!


jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

Aise hi likhate rahiye,
Khuda aapki kalam mein aur zor bakshe Aameen......

Khush rahiye
Khuda Hafez..
Namaste Sameer saHeb!
chaliye kam az kam is baar aapko niraash naheeN honaa paRaa. uper waalaa aap jaise qad'rdaanoN se mujhe nawaaztaa rahe. yeh kaavish anaayaas hee ban paRee aur kuchh ashaar mujhe bhee behad azeez hai.
aapkee himmat_afzaayee ke liye behad shukriyaa!
aapko Diwali kee shubhkaamnaaye.

khairandesh
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#14)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 44
15th October 2009, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dheer View Post
aadaab dostoN!
ek taaza tarHee ghazal pesh e khidmat hai! apnee aaraa se nawaaziyegaa.
shukriyaa

aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

"ek soorat! ek hee tasweer hai!" -- Bahadur shah "Zafar"
mujh ko meree ham-nafas hee "heer" hai,

ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

kaisee hasrat? "dheer" kaisee aarazoo?
aap hee pehnee huee zanjeer hai!

--Shamsheer - talvaar
--tadbeer - tareeqah, arrangement
-- taameer - construction
-- taabeer - reality of the dream
dheer sahab........namaste.......

apki ghazal dil ko chu gayi..............
itni acchi rawani thi ke ek hi saans me 5 baar pad liya.........

sabhi ashaar ke liye daaad hajir hai.........
sab ek se badke ek the............
kisi bhi sher ki taraf ishara na kar saka ki ye jyada behtar tha........
sab ke sab lajawab the.........

aisi ghazal sunane ke liye mera shukriya kabool kijiye........

regards

   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#15)
Mayank
Mirage
Mayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comMayank is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
Mayank's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Rep Power: 50
16th October 2009, 12:47 PM

dheer bhaii,

namaste:

bohat khuub likha hai aap ne paDh kar mazaa aa gaya.. bohat dino ke baad zaruur likha hai aap ne., lekin likha behad dilkash hai..

khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!


yeh sher mujhe behad behad pasand aaye, in ke liye khaas daad meri aur se.. yuu.n hi likhte rahe.n

Mayank



buraa jo dekhan mai.n Chalaa, buraa naa milyaa koye
jo mann Khojaa apnaa to mujh se buraa naa koye


  Send a message via Yahoo to Mayank  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#16)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
16th October 2009, 08:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
dheer sahab........namaste.......

apki ghazal dil ko chu gayi..............
itni acchi rawani thi ke ek hi saans me 5 baar pad liya.........

sabhi ashaar ke liye daaad hajir hai.........
sab ek se badke ek the............
kisi bhi sher ki taraf ishara na kar saka ki ye jyada behtar tha........
sab ke sab lajawab the.........

aisi ghazal sunane ke liye mera shukriya kabool kijiye........

regards

Khanna saHeb!
namaste!
deree se jawaab ke liye mazaar_khwaaH huN. aapkee daad ke liye behad shukriyaa! chuN'k aapne is shauq ko dil se apnaa liyaa hai, so aapkee daad mere liye aur bhee maani_khez hai. zarr'ah_nawaazee kaa shukriyaa adaa karte hue aap ke khat meN hee Mohataram Sarwar Alam Raz ka tabsira bhee chaspa kar rahaa huN. taa'k dostoN ko faaidah hoN. aakhir jholee meN aayaa ilm mil baaNT le to achchhaa hee hai shukriyaa.

Quote:
Dheeraj: namaste aur aadaab!

tumhaare Hukm par HaaZ^ir ho gayaa aur ab likhnaa bhee Z^arooree hai! Ghazal dekhee. tumhaaree koshisheN qaabil-e-daad haiN. mujh ko yaqeen hai keh yeh taraqqee jaaree rahe gee aur ek din tum bhee SaaHib-e-kitaab ho ge!
-------------------------------
aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

yeh dekh kar Khushee huyee keh tum ne :nishtar: likhaa. beshtar log :nashtar: likhte haiN jo a'am hai lekin durust naheeN hai!

meraa Khayaal hai keh doosraa miSra' pehle kaa saath dene meN kamzor rahaa. maiN Ghalat^ bhee ho saktaa hooN. ek shakl yeh Zehn meN aayee:

aaNkh nishtar hai, zabaaN shamsheer hai
dildahee kee waah kyaa tadbeer hai!
-----------------------------------------
"ek soorat! ek hee tasweer hai!"
mujh ko meree ham-nafas hee "heer" hai,

Khoob kahaa hai! tum ko tumhaaree :Heer: mubaarak!
-------------------------------
ek meree aaNkh hee lagtee naheeN,
ek woh soyee! miree taqdeer hai!

Khayaal achhaa hai. bayaan kee ek aur shakl yeh samajh meN aayee. dekhne meN harj naheeN hai.

aaNkh meree is t^araf lagtee naheeN
us t^araf soyee miree taqdeer hai!
----------------------------------
dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

waah bhaayee waah! bohat achhaa kahaa hai! daad!
----------------------------------
khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

kyoN kar = kaise (is se Sirf :kyoN: kaa mat^lab naheeN nikaltaa hai)

doosre miSre' kaa mat^lab yeh nikaltaa hai keh :qiyaamat kisee ta'meer se paidaa hotee hai: jab.k tum kehnaa yeh chaahate ho keh :har qiyaamat kisee ta'meer kaa sabab hotee hai:!

Dar mujhe kyoN ho qiyaamat se bhalaa
har qiyaamat baa,is-e-ta'meer hai!
----------------------------
ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!
(ho rahaa hai jo, miree taqdeer hai)
---------------------------------------
jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!

pehle miSre' meN :hai: kee kamee meHsoos hotee hai jis se bayaan kuchh naa-mukammal saa ho kar reh gayaa hai. ek shakl yeh ho saktee hai. doosree tum socho:

jism-o-jaaN par kyaa gumaaN karte ho tum
ai miaaN! sab Khaak kee jaageer hai

ek dilchasp baat yaad aa gayee. :miaaN: kaa ista'maal ab kam ho gayaa hai kyoN.k is ko nibhaanaa mushkil hai. :Mauj: Rampuri kaa she'r yaad aa gayaa jis meN unhoN ne is ko Khoob baaNdhaa hai:

yeh saraapaa kaheeN naheeN dekhaa
ai miaaN! kis jahaan ke tum ho?
-----------------------------------
kyoN nah hoN dilchasp o dilkash, sar-ta-paa,
zindagee! teree likhee tehreer hai!

durust fiqrah hai :sar-taa-paa: (taa = talak, tak) so :sar-ta-paa: Ghalat^ huwaa. :teHreer: meN :likhne: ke ma'nee shaamil haiN, so :likhee: Z^aroorat se ziyaadah ya'nee :bhartee: kaa hai.

kyoN nah ho dilchasp sar-taa-paa bhalaa?
zindagee aaKhir tiree teHreer hai!
--------------------------------
kaisee hasrat? "Dheer" kaisee aarazoo?
aap hee pehnee huee zanjeer hai!

bohat achhaa kahaa hai. shaabaash!
=======================
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#17)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
16th October 2009, 08:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayank View Post
dheer bhaii,

namaste:

bohat khuub likha hai aap ne paDh kar mazaa aa gaya.. bohat dino ke baad zaruur likha hai aap ne., lekin likha behad dilkash hai..

khauf kyoN kar hoN qiyaamat se bhalaa!
har qiyaamat kaa sabab taameer hai!

ai sitam-gar! mujh ko tujh se kyaa gilaa,
too faqat zariyaa hai! sab taqdeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!


yeh sher mujhe behad behad pasand aaye, in ke liye khaas daad meri aur se.. yuu.n hi likhte rahe.n

Mayank
Namaste Mayank bhaai!
woh aaye ghar hamaare, khudaa kee qudrat hai!
idhar maiN masroof huaa, udhar aap. baRe din hue aapse guftgoo ko. kaise haiN aap?
ghazal par is pur_khuloos daad ke liye behad mamnoon huN aur ek iltejaa yeh bhee hai keh "shaairee" ke "shole" ko phir hawaa deejiye aur kuchh apnee see kahiye , jis se ham log must_feed ho sake.

khairandesh
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#18)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,301
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 54
16th October 2009, 11:00 PM

Hamesha ki tarah aapki ghazal ka har sher dil ko chu gaya.......dil se daad qubool kijiye Dheer ji.....

Aapki ghazalein sdc ki raunaq badhati hain......




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#19)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
18th October 2009, 09:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Hamesha ki tarah aapki ghazal ka har sher dil ko chu gaya.......dil se daad qubool kijiye Dheer ji.....

Aapki ghazalein sdc ki raunaq badhati hain......
zarra'h_nawaazee kaa behad shukriyaa Zainy saHiba! aapko Diwali ke Dher sari shubh_kaamnaayeiN.
dua go
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#20)
Baqtiar
Loquacious Adonis
Baqtiar is a name known to allBaqtiar is a name known to allBaqtiar is a name known to allBaqtiar is a name known to allBaqtiar is a name known to allBaqtiar is a name known to all
 
Baqtiar's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,700
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: ......
Rep Power: 20
18th October 2009, 12:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dheer View Post
aaNkh nishtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

jism o jaaN! jis par gumaaN tumko miyaaN!
dar haqeeqat khaak kee jaageer hai!
Mr. Dheer,

Loved these two couplets...

And the 'Miyaan' word you have used reminds me of these ashaar from "Naazir"

Ghaflaat ki ye jaagir nahi yan sahib-e-idraak reh
dilshad rak, dil shaad reh gham nak rak, gham nak reh


har haal mein tu bhi 'Naazir' ab har khadaam ki khaq reh
ye wo maakhaam hai O miyan.... yan pak reh be-baq reh


Khaljug nahi, karjug hai ye yan din ko dey aur raat le
kya khoob sauda naqdh hai is haath dey us haath le
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#21)
KunaaL
Sifar
KunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant futureKunaaL has a brilliant future
 
KunaaL's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 4,752
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 38
18th October 2009, 02:12 PM

Kuch bhi kahuNga.. chota muh badi baat hogi ... bas itna ki aapke kaif ki jitni tareef kee jaye .. kam hai .. maiN manmnooN huN bas aise alfaazi jaame ko dekh ke ...

Kunaal


KunaaL (Sifar).........

Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa..
Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
  Send a message via Yahoo to KunaaL Send a message via Skype™ to KunaaL 
Reply With Quote
ek farz
Old
  (#22)
ajay nidaan
nida
ajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud ofajay nidaan has much to be proud of
 
ajay nidaan's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,824
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vaishali Nagar,Bhilai ,(Deep Vision & Analysis Thinkings then way )
Rep Power: 24
Love ek farz - 19th October 2009, 09:24 AM

dheer Ji

Happy Deewali

aapne in shabdo ko saadagi aur khoobsurat ke sath pesh -e- nazar kiya hai vo apane aap me ek kamaal ki koshish hai, wakai me insaan me sirf vichaar hi hote hai aur kuch nahi jis vo kis tarah se present karata hai ye baat uske shabdo ke gyan pa nibhar karti hai kyoki jitna zyada shabdo ka gyan hoga utna hi ham apni soch ke aache se pesh kar paayege.

aapki rahcna padhkar kaafi aacha mahsus hua. daad qubul kijiyega

ajay nidaan


Ajay Nidaan (09630819356)
http://www.anidaan.@gmail.com
All right reserved with Poet@Ajay nidaan

Kisi ek chehare ki talash me bhatakti rahee zindagi
par mila nahi zindagi ko apni pahchaan ka chehara.

 Send a message via ICQ to ajay nidaan Send a message via Yahoo to ajay nidaan Send a message via Skype™ to ajay nidaan 
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#23)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
20th October 2009, 06:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baqtiar View Post
Mr. Dheer,

Loved these two couplets...

And the 'Miyaan' word you have used reminds me of these ashaar from "Naazir"

Ghaflaat ki ye jaagir nahi yan sahib-e-idraak reh
dilshad rak, dil shaad reh gham nak rak, gham nak reh


har haal mein tu bhi 'Naazir' ab har khadaam ki khaq reh
ye wo maakhaam hai O miyan.... yan pak reh be-baq reh


Khaljug nahi, karjug hai ye yan din ko dey aur raat le
kya khoob sauda naqdh hai is haath dey us haath le
Hi,
Thanks a lot. Now a days the word "miyaaN" is rarely used in poetry. I just gave a try.
Take care!
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#24)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
20th October 2009, 06:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by KunaaL View Post
Kuch bhi kahuNga.. chota muh badi baat hogi ... bas itna ki aapke kaif ki jitni tareef kee jaye .. kam hai .. maiN manmnooN huN bas aise alfaazi jaame ko dekh ke ...

Kunaal
Kunaal bhaai!
Namaste!
aisee koee baat naheeN hai. yeh meree khush_naseebee hai keh aap se hamsha kee tarah pur_khuloos aur himmat_afzaa alfaaz sun'ne ko mile. behad mamnoon huN.
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#25)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
20th October 2009, 06:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajay nidaan View Post
dheer Ji

Happy Deewali

aapne in shabdo ko saadagi aur khoobsurat ke sath pesh -e- nazar kiya hai vo apane aap me ek kamaal ki koshish hai, wakai me insaan me sirf vichaar hi hote hai aur kuch nahi jis vo kis tarah se present karata hai ye baat uske shabdo ke gyan pa nibhar karti hai kyoki jitna zyada shabdo ka gyan hoga utna hi ham apni soch ke aache se pesh kar paayege.

aapki rahcna padhkar kaafi aacha mahsus hua. daad qubul kijiyega

ajay nidaan
Namaste Ajay saHeb!
zarra_nawaazee ke liye behad shukriyaa! aapne Theek farmaayaa hai. shaaid ek "Dairy" aur "shayri" meN yeh hee fark hai keh wahaaN alfaaz be_tarteeb ho sakte hai, magar yahaaN naheeN.

dua go
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#26)
mann_chand
Registered User
mann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud ofmann_chand has much to be proud of
 
mann_chand's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,089
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Rep Power: 29
20th October 2009, 07:30 PM

Dheer jii,

Aadaab...

Kaise hai aap? GHazal bahut aachi lagii.. aur aapko kaafi dheair baad padhna naseeb hua ...

sabhi sherr dil ke kareeb rahe..

yu hi mefil ko saajatye rahye

Take care

Mandeep



~ Mandeep Kaur ~
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#27)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
23rd October 2009, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mann_chand View Post
Dheer jii,

Aadaab...

Kaise hai aap? GHazal bahut aachi lagii.. aur aapko kaafi dheair baad padhna naseeb hua ...

sabhi sherr dil ke kareeb rahe..

yu hi mefil ko saajatye rahye

Take care

Mandeep
Namaste Mandeep ji!!
taakheer ke liye mazaarat_khwaaH huN. zarrah_nawaazee ke liye behad mamnoon huN. apnaa khyaal rakhiyegaa.
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#28)
fezan
Registered User
fezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud offezan has much to be proud of
 
fezan's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 835
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Shehr-e-Adab
Rep Power: 24
23rd October 2009, 10:47 PM

Dheer ji

Bahot khoob Ghazal hai apki, daad haazir hai..................

yeh do sher khaskar achhe lage

aaNkh nashtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

Khush rahiye

Apka dost

Fezan


.
.
.
Koi Aisa Kamaal Ho Jaye
Zindigi Be-Misaal Ho Jaye
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#29)
dheer
Registered User
dheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant futuredheer has a brilliant future
 
dheer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 32
26th October 2009, 07:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by fezan View Post
Dheer ji

Bahot khoob Ghazal hai apki, daad haazir hai..................

yeh do sher khaskar achhe lage

aaNkh nashtar aur zabaaN shamsheer hai!
zakhm dil par de, yeh woh tadbeer hai!

dekh kar jisko laraz jaataa huN maiN,
zindagee us khwaab kee taabeer hai!

Khush rahiye

Apka dost

Fezan
aadaab Fezan saHeb!
zarrah_nawaazee ke liye bahut bahut shukriyaa. daad sar aakhoN par.
khairandesh
Dheer
  Send a message via Yahoo to dheer  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com