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ghazal - guzri haiN yuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
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ghazal - guzri haiN yuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii - 15th January 2013, 03:21 PM

Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain


andaaz

Last edited by kshitiz; 15th January 2013 at 03:28 PM..
   
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15th January 2013, 03:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain

Kshitij bhai... ahle soz ki mehfil me khush aamdeed... Behad masarrat ka sabab hai jo aapka nayaa kalaam mehfil me pesh huaa hai... waahhh ummdaah fankaari ki Misaal hai ye ghazal.... kya soch hai kya parwaaz, kya takhayyul kya andaaz... bahott khoob....

ye sher mera sabse pasandeeda rahaa.....

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

waahh kya tanz hai miyaaN.. mazaa aa gaya....


bhai bas ek baat zara khatak rahi hai agar wazaahat farmaa deiN to badee mehrbaani hogee...

aapki ghaza ke Matla ko gar dekha jaae to niche likhi tahti aapne istemaal ki hai... (jahaan tak mera khayal hai)

2212 1212 2212 12

guz2 ri2 hai1 yooN 2 bhi1 zind2 d1 gee2 na2 kaa2 m1 yaa2 b1 sii 2
lag2 ne2 la1 gee2 hain1 man2 zi1 len 2 hum2 ko 2 sa1 raa2 b1 sii2

to bhai aapne matla me jo baat kahi wo to bass.. qayaamat hai waaahhhhhh


lekin agar ye sher dekha jaae to-

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

isme takhti 2212 1212 2212 12
toot ke kuch yoN ho gayee hai....

2212 1211 2212 12
2212 2212 2212 12


ab dekhiye doosre arkaan ke haroof me shaayd ke changes aa gaye hain...

bhai mera qatai iraada nahi hai aapka dil dukhaana ya fir ghazal ke parameters ko lekar koi baat kehna.... mujhe pataa hai aapne likha hai to shaayd isme jo baat hai wo mujhe nazar nahi aa rahi hai... maine wahikaha jo mera nazariya mujhse kehta hai... aur zaruri nahi ke main shai houn...

Agar roshni daalenge to hum taaliboN ko seekhne me behad izaafa hoga....

Shukriyaa bhai, apna khayaal rakkhen....

Shaad..


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15th January 2013, 06:30 PM

bahot khoob fikr
khoobsurat labo lehjaa
umda ghazal
.................................................. ....
   
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15th January 2013, 06:40 PM

ghazal par baad me aata hu iska meter to 221 2121 1221 212 lag raha hai shaad sahab
lohe mazaar dekh ke ji dang rah gaya
pahle to apne dil ki raza jaan jaiye
   
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15th January 2013, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
ghazal par baad me aata hu iska meter to 221 2121 1221 212 lag raha hai shaad sahab
lohe mazaar dekh ke ji dang rah gaya
pahle to apne dil ki raza jaan jaiye
Zidd saahab tashreef laane ka behad shukriyaa.... aur aap jiase aala member jab rehnumaai farmaaeN to kya baat ho... subhan allah..

Waise aapne jo takhti btaai hai wo ye

221 2121 1221 212

Aur jo mujhe lag rahi thi.. wo yeh...

2212 1212 2212 12

main zindgee ka "gee" aur humko ka "ko" wagairah 2 ka wazn le raha tha... khair, ye sher dekhiye... jaise ke maine poocha tha

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab si

kya iska misra-e-sani behr ke lihaaz se durust hai...??

aapki takhti se match karta hoon..... 221 2121 1221 212

Phir 2 haa2 r1 ke1 kar2 ne2 la1 ge2 baa2 teN2 ja1 naa2 b1 ki2
221 1221 2221 212

yahaan mujhe lagta hai dusre aur teesre arkaan me farq aaa raha hai.... Zidd bhai bataane ki zahmat uthaaeN... agar main ghalat hoon to..

Shukriyaa....


Shaad...
   
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15th January 2013, 08:54 PM

ghazal ka meter to wahi hai 221 2121 1221 212
is ghazal ka basic meter muzaari' hai , classical 4 arkaan liye huye magar pure form me nahi hai ,zihafat hai.

ye misra =Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii bahut mamuli taur par impure hai sirf ek harf ki wajah se.

ek baat mai shartiya kah sakta hu ki writer takteee ka writer nahi hai matlab ,misra banate samay vo taktee ka sahara bilkul nahi leta.
uski wajah ye hai ki is meter me exactly is jagah ek jhol hai...maine kuch gaane sune hai jo is meter me exactly isi hi spot par jhol khate hai ,jaise ki lagta hai ye meter is spot par dono sakit aur mutharik accept kar raha ho....double jeopardy ye hai ki yaha to alliteration bhi hai 'ke karke' ,......jo ghul sa jata hai. ek to waise hi pronr spot hai upar se alliteration.....jaise ghul sa jata hai....
jaise accident prone hota hai waise ye error prone spot hai.
magar aapki baat sahi hai .yaha error hai magar writer ke liye mitigating factors bhi bahut hai.

regards
   
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15th January 2013, 09:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
ghazal ka meter to wahi hai 221 2121 1221 212
is ghazal ka basic meter muzaari' hai , classical 4 arkaan liye huye magar pure form me nahi hai ,zihafat hai.

ye misra =Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii bahut mamuli taur par impure hai sirf ek harf ki wajah se.

ek baat mai shartiya kah sakta hu ki writer takteee ka writer nahi hai matlab ,misra banate samay vo taktee ka sahara bilkul nahi leta.
uski wajah ye hai ki is meter me exactly is jagah ek jhol hai...maine kuch gaane sune hai jo is meter me exactly isi hi spot par jhol khate hai ,jaise ki lagta hai ye meter is spot par dono sakit aur mutharik accept kar raha ho....double jeopardy ye hai ki yaha to alliteration bhi hai 'ke karke' ,......jo ghul sa jata hai. ek to waise hi pronr spot hai upar se alliteration.....jaise ghul sa jata hai....
jaise accident prone hota hai waise ye error prone spot hai.
magar aapki baat sahi hai .yaha error hai magar writer ke liye mitigating factors bhi bahut hai.

regards
bahot bahot shukriyaa aapkaa... ek guzaarish hai aapse, ke aate raha kijiye... aapse bahot kuch seekhne ko milta hai hame....


Shaad...


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15th January 2013, 09:13 PM

Aur kshitij saahab... agar meri kissii baat ka buraa laga ho to muaafi ka arzmand hoon....

Waise Zidd saahab ke bayaan se ab baateN bahot saaf ho gayeen hain, aur meraa shaq bhi durust ho gyaa hai... zahmat dene ke liye sharmindah hoon....

Shaad....


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15th January 2013, 09:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
bahot bahot shukriyaa aapkaa... ek guzaarish hai aapse, ke aate raha kijiye... aapse bahot kuch seekhne ko milta hai hame....


Shaad...
ajab nahi ke mere hi ghar me mujhe nyota diya jaa raha hai?
   
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16th January 2013, 12:31 AM

Kaise haiN sameer miyaaN..

Jab koi aapke ashaar me itnii dilchaspi leta hai to behad khushi hoti hai ..
MaiN Tah E dil se aapki zarranawaazi ka mamnoon huN

Ab aate haiN aapki uljhan par..
Sameer bhai ghazal humesha parhi jaati hai kahi jaati hai suni jaati hai sunaayi jaati hai par kahiN bhi numbers meiN nahi likhi jaati ..ye sirf ek zariya hai naye shayroN ko beher meiN daalne ka ..ek waqt ke baad kisi bhi shayar ke liye ye waqt ki barbaadi hai kyuN ki jis sher ke do misre aapki zubaan me urooz meiN hai use koi namauzuuN nahi
Thahra sakta ..

Meri ghazal ki beher hai

mafuul faailaat mafaaiil faailun

Baaki baateiN to aap aur zidd saaheb pehle hi saaf kar chuke haiN..jis misre pe shubha hai use lete haiN
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii:

YahaaN ke ko giraya gaya hai 1 meiN yaani laghu meiN karne ke kar ko bhi toda gaya hai k+r meiN yaha k aur r do laghu ho gaye yaani 1+1ab ke+ka(karne wala ka) mil ke 2 yaani guru bana ..
Taqtee karte waqt hum do laghu ko ek guru me ya ek guru ko 2 laghu meiN badal sakte hain (ghaur farmaiyega hum yahaN anivaarya laghu 0 ki baat nahi kar rahe jise badla nahi nahi ja sakta hai jiski pehchaan hoti hai ki vo gatimaan hota hai ..

Khair mera maan-na hai ki taqtee ki aadat sirf shayar ka mizaaj kharaab karti hai kyuN ki aapke liye isse bura aur kuch nahi ho sakta ki aap bahut dil se kuch likheiN aur mauzuuN hone ke baad bhi use guna ganit kar ke kharaab kareiN
JO AAPKI ZUBAAN ME NAHI PHASA VO KISI PENCH ME NAHI PHASEGA ..

Ummeed hai ki maiN apni baat ko saaf kar paya hunga aur agar nahi bhi to aap bejhijhak jo dil meiN aaye rakh sakte haiN


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16th January 2013, 07:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Kaise haiN sameer miyaaN..

Jab koi aapke ashaar me itnii dilchaspi leta hai to behad khushi hoti hai ..
MaiN Tah E dil se aapki zarranawaazi ka mamnoon huN

Ab aate haiN aapki uljhan par..
Sameer bhai ghazal humesha parhi jaati hai kahi jaati hai suni jaati hai sunaayi jaati hai par kahiN bhi numbers meiN nahi likhi jaati ..ye sirf ek zariya hai naye shayroN ko beher meiN daalne ka ..ek waqt ke baad kisi bhi shayar ke liye ye waqt ki barbaadi hai kyuN ki jis sher ke do misre aapki zubaan me urooz meiN hai use koi namauzuuN nahi
Thahra sakta ..

Meri ghazal ki beher hai

mafuul faailaat mafaaiil faailun

Baaki baateiN to aap aur zidd saaheb pehle hi saaf kar chuke haiN..jis misre pe shubha hai use lete haiN
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii:

YahaaN ke ko giraya gaya hai 1 meiN yaani laghu meiN karne ke kar ko bhi toda gaya hai k+r meiN yaha k aur r do laghu ho gaye yaani 1+1ab ke+ka(karne wala ka) mil ke 2 yaani guru bana ..
Taqtee karte waqt hum do laghu ko ek guru me ya ek guru ko 2 laghu meiN badal sakte hain (ghaur farmaiyega hum yahaN anivaarya laghu 0 ki baat nahi kar rahe jise badla nahi nahi ja sakta hai jiski pehchaan hoti hai ki vo gatimaan hota hai ..

Khair mera maan-na hai ki taqtee ki aadat sirf shayar ka mizaaj kharaab karti hai kyuN ki aapke liye isse bura aur kuch nahi ho sakta ki aap bahut dil se kuch likheiN aur mauzuuN hone ke baad bhi use guna ganit kar ke kharaab kareiN
JO AAPKI ZUBAAN ME NAHI PHASA VO KISI PENCH ME NAHI PHASEGA ..

Ummeed hai ki maiN apni baat ko saaf kar paya hunga aur agar nahi bhi to aap bejhijhak jo dil meiN aaye rakh sakte haiN

Phir haar ke "kar ne" lage baateN janaab ki...

ab is me "kar ne" lafz ko aapne kaise 21 me toDaa hai ye ab tak meri samajh ke baahar hai.... "kar ne" 12 to ho saktaa hai magar 21 shaayd nahi....
khair itnii wazaahaten zidd saahab ne yahaan de daali hain ke abb kya kahuN.... shayad unki ghazal ke baare me poochta to itna na bataate...

khair muaafi jo aapko khalal padee... jo baat main soch kar yahaan aaya thaa wo nazar nahi aayee ... ghazal ke liye mubaarakbaad...


Shaad...

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16th January 2013, 08:01 AM

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ajab nahi ke mere hi ghar me mujhe nyota diya jaa raha hai?
Nyotaa nahi diyaa ja raha hai saahab. yaad kiyaa ja raha thaa.....

Aap hi ke ghar se aap aise nadaarad hain jaise ke ye aapka ghar ho hi nahi.... aapne waapas na aane kaa koi khoklaa waaada nahi kiyaa tha na... isliye yaad kar rahe they, isliye bulaa rahe they....

Aur shaayd main pehla shaksh nahi jo aisaa kar raha ho, aapko yaad kar raha ho... aur agar main pehlaa hi hoon, i mean kisi ne nahi kiyaa , to shaayd kuch dino baad karenge... lekin jaisa ke ab aap aa hi gaye hain, to shaayd ab Nyote na mileN...

Rest all comments are avoided and ignored.......


Shaad...

Last edited by sameer'shaad'; 16th January 2013 at 08:05 AM..
   
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janumanu
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16th January 2013, 09:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Phir haar ke "kar ne" lage baateN janaab ki...

ab is me "kar ne" lafz ko aapne kaise 21 me toDaa hai ye ab tak meri samajh ke baahar hai.... "kar ne" 12 to ho saktaa hai magar 21 shaayd nahi.... ...

...
janaab kar ne .. Ka wazn 21 ya 22 ho sakta hai..
1 2 to nahi .... Kabhi nahin phir bhi ..
Agar aap kuch samjhayeN to mera ho jaye bhala shayed ...
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sameer'shaad'
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16th January 2013, 09:31 AM

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Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
janaab kar ne .. Ka wazn 21 ya 22 ho sakta hai..
1 2 to nahi .... Kabhi nahin phir bhi ..
Agar aap kuch samjhayeN to mera ho jaye bhala shayed ...

jaisii ke zidd bhai ne takhti di thii....

221 2121 1221 212

phir haar ke karne lage baaten janaab ki....

kya is takhti pe ye misraa fit baithtaa hai...???

karne ko yahaan pe inhone 12 me likhaa hai zaraa gaur karen... aur meraa unse sawaal thaa ke karne ko 21 22 me to likh sakte hain magar 12 kaise huaaa ye merii samjh ke baahar hai,.....

aur ab aap bhi wahi baat keh rahe hain jo mein kehna chah raha tha.. vikas ji..


Shaad...

Last edited by sameer'shaad'; 16th January 2013 at 09:35 AM..
   
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16th January 2013, 09:36 AM

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Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
jaisii ke zidd bhai ne takhti di thii....

221 2121 1221 212

phir haar ke karne lage baaten janaab ki....

kya is takhti pe ye misraa fit baithtaa hai...???

karne ko yahaan pe inhone 12 me likhaa hai zaraa gaur karen... aur meraa unse sawaal thaa ke karne ko 21 22 me to likh sakte hain magar 12 kaise huaaa ye merii samjh ke baahar hai,.....

aur ab aap bhi wahi baat keh rahe hain jo mein kehna chah raha tha.. vikas ji..
plz read ur comment ...Phir haar ke "kar ne" lage baateN janaab ki...

ab is me "kar ne" lafz ko aapne kaise 21 me toDaa hai ye ab tak meri samajh ke baahar hai.... "kar ne" 12 to ho saktaa hai magar 21 shaayd nahi....
khair itnii wazaahaten zidd saahab ne yahaan de daali hain ke abb kya kahuN.... shayad unki ghazal ke baare me poochta to itna na bataate...
.....


khair muaafi jo aapko khalal padee... jo baat main soch kar yahaan aaya thaa wo nazar nahi aayee ... ghazal ke liye mubaarakbaad...
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Post 16th January 2013, 09:43 AM

Sameer saaheb ..
Karne ko 1 1 2 me toda nahi gaya vo khud bakhud tuut raha hai kyu ki aap jab ye ghazal gaa rahe haiN to ek jaise hurf hone ki wazah se ke aur karne dono ke kaaf mil rahe haiN aur 2 ka sound de rahe haiN
Aapka kahna waajib hai ki karne ko hum amoonan 2 2 ya 2 1 me todte haiN par is tarah do wazn me todne ki choot bhi hume talaffus ki wajah se hi milti hai KUCH BHI CONSTANT. NAHI HAI AAPKA JAISA TALAFFUS HURF APNE AAP USS WUZN ME TOOT JAAYENGE ..

aur miyaaN agar aap apne sawaal par naadim honge to ye mere liye sharmindgi ka sabab hoga ..

Ek baat phir se shukrguzaar hu

Apna khyaal rakhiye
Khush rahiye


andaaz

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16th January 2013, 10:07 AM

Aur aap mera reply ghaur se dekhiye maine karne ko 1 1 2 me toda hai ..
1 2 kisne kaha /


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sameer'shaad'
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16th January 2013, 11:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Sameer saaheb ..
Karne ko 1 1 2 me toda nahi gaya vo khud bakhud tuut raha hai kyu ki aap jab ye ghazal gaa rahe haiN to ek jaise hurf hone ki wazah se ke aur karne dono ke kaaf mil rahe haiN aur 2 ka sound de rahe haiN
Aapka kahna waajib hai ki karne ko hum amoonan 2 2 ya 2 1 me todte haiN par is tarah do wazn me todne ki choot bhi hume talaffus ki wajah se hi milti hai KUCH BHI CONSTANT. NAHI HAI AAPKA JAISA TALAFFUS HURF APNE AAP USS WUZN ME TOOT JAAYENGE ..

aur miyaaN agar aap apne sawaal par naadim honge to ye mere liye sharmindgi ka sabab hoga ..

Ek baat phir se shukrguzaar hu

Apna khyaal rakhiye
Khush rahiye


ok to iskaa matlab ye huaa ke aapne lafz karne ko 112 me toDaa hai....

to misraa kuch yooN tha... aur takhti aapke hisaab se yoon..

phir haar ke karne lage baaten janaab ki....
2 2 1 1 112 12 2 2 1 2 1 2

yaani ke 221 11121 1221 212

aur zidd saahab ke hisaab se takhti thi...

221 2121 1221 212

aur aapki behr thi.... mafuul faailaat mafaaiil faailun

yaani ke same- 221 2121 1221 212

to phir mere bhai mere sawaal ka sabab yahi haa ke agar aapne us lafz ko 112 me break kiyaa hai.... jabki behr ke hisaab se us jagah pe 12 hona tha... par aapne kar diyaa 21,22,112 yaani ke ek harz badhaa diyaa (12 ko 112)

aisa kyon..

bhai ab to main pehle se bhi zyaada confuse ho gayaa hoon....

Sawaal jisse kiyaa jaae wahi jawaaab de to aasani hoti hai samjhne me... waise bhi kisi ne kahaa hai...

"Too many Cooks..... spoil the Food"


Shaad...
   
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kshitiz
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16th January 2013, 11:37 AM

Ha ha ha
Bhai kuch der me baat karte haiN lunch kar lu


andaaz
   
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kshitiz
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16th January 2013, 01:26 PM

Sameer bhai
Phir haar ke. Ka. Ke jiska wuzn 1 hai aur karne jise 112 me toda hai iska pehla 1aur phir haar ke ka aakhiri 1 mil k 2 ho jayenge


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16th January 2013, 01:28 PM

Nitu jee ..
Bahut bahut shukriya
apna khyaal rakhiye


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zainy
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16th January 2013, 04:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain
Masha Allah bohat khoob Kshitiz ji....sabhi ahsaar lajawaab haiN...dil se daad qubool kijiye...

Naya takhallus bhi mubarak ho...




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
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Dhaval
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16th January 2013, 05:32 PM

kshitiz bhaaii

namaste

bahot hi KhuShii huii aapki Ghazal bazm mein deKh kar. . . andaaz kaa andaaz e bayaan laa jawaab . . . huZoor mazaa aa gayaa . . . aapne jo siKhaayaa hai wo baat dil o damaaGh meiN basaa lee haii achChhi tarah se aur maiN koShiSh karuuNgaa usse poori tarah nibhaa sakuuN . . Ghazal ke liye DheroN saari daad . . . .bazm ki Shaan ko baDhaate rahiye aage bhee

KhuSh raheN apnaa Khayaal raKheN

duaaoN ke saath ijaazat

aapka

Dhaval


*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
   
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Hamdam
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18th January 2013, 07:10 PM

kshitiz bhai,

aapki gazal bahut pasand ayi.Daad kabool kare..

samjay sehgal



khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar ,
Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar.
   
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sunita thakur
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18th January 2013, 09:18 PM

Kshitiz ji.....bahut accha likha hai aapne...sabhi ashiyaar tareef ke kabil hai...par aik sher jo hame behad khaas lga...wo hai :

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii



yu hi aate rahiye aur hame acchi acchi poetry padne ka mokka detey rahiye

god bless u


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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18th January 2013, 10:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain
bhayee bahut khoob ghazal hai.............
bahut rawaa aur mouj wala meter hai

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor

ye misraa to bas ufffffffffffffffffff

bahut hi khooob....
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naresh_mehra110
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20th January 2013, 05:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain
Kyaa Kahne ... WaaH !!

BaDhii RawaaN DawaaN ... AchChii FikR O Khayaal Se BharPoor ...

PurKash Ghazal Huii Janaab ...

Dilee Mubaaraqbaad !!!




YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...


---Naresh Mehra----
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Harash Mahajan
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20th January 2013, 05:21 PM

बहुत ही सुंदर पेशकश |


मारे हुए हैं गर्दिशे दौरान के......भी वाह ..............
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  (#29)
kshitiz
.. ek andaaz
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21st January 2013, 10:02 AM

Adaab zainy saahiba

Ghazal pe pasandigii zaahir karne ka bahut bahut shukriya

Khush rahiye

Apna khyaal rakhiye


andaaz
   
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  (#30)
kshitiz
.. ek andaaz
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21st January 2013, 10:07 AM

Shukriya dhaval bhai ..
aap bhi apna khyaal rakheiN ..
Ishwar aapko aur qaifiyat ..tarakki bakhshe


andaaz
   
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  (#31)
zidd
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21st January 2013, 10:27 AM

andaaz sahab mujhe aapki ghazal bahut acchi lagi...
pahle kahne wala tha ki ustado jaisi ghazal hai...phir honth datto beech dabaaa liye...ki ye kya soch baitha mai....
akhir ustaad hi ki to ghazal hai.

aaapko meri taraf se daado ka ek bada guldasta present karta hu.
kabool farmaiye sir

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  (#32)
Harash Mahajan
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21st January 2013, 03:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain
waah khstiz ji bahut khoob peshkash rahi aapki....ahsaas bahut hi oomda rahe ....bohat ssari daad qabool farmaaayeN ...slamat rahain..
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  (#33)
Pulkit_gupta
Humanity
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26th January 2013, 12:27 AM

Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii
Bahut khoob...
(Saraab=mirage)

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii
Kya baat hai...

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii
Waah waah waah, khoob bayaani hai...

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii
Bahut khoob...


Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii
Waaaahhhhh....

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii
Kya baat hai....

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii
Khoob bayaani hai bhai...

Khsitiz bhai, aisa lag raha thha maano tum apni awaaz me padh ke sunaa rahe ho ghazal.. Bahut hi mazaa aaya is nagme ko padhkar... Ab bass Lucknow aakar tumhaari awaaz me, tumhaare andaaz me sunoonga, tabhi chain aayega...

Aate raho... tum aaoge to mujhe bahut accha lagega... apna khayal rakho.. see you soon


Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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  (#34)
maikasH
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26th January 2013, 06:56 PM

Kshitiz miyaaN namaste,

bhai muaafi chaahta huuN aapki yeh Ghazal bohat din pehle padh to li thi aur kayi baar soch kar aaya ke aapko mubarakbaad deta chaluN lekin kuch na kuch aaRhe aata raha

ba-har-haal

kya Ghazal kahii hai bhai !!!

maine baar baar padhi aur har baar vohi lutf uThaaya jo pehli baar meiN aaya

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

is she'r ke to kya hi kehne

daad Tikaaiiye miyaaN

rab raakha
maikash


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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  (#35)
Pradhyuman
'Bismil'
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1st February 2013, 02:57 PM

bahot ache kshitiz bhai...daad hi daad. yeh sher dil ke bahot kareeb raha..

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

waahh..yunhi likhte rahiye..god bless u

aapka dost,
Pradhyuman - Bismil

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshitiz View Post
Adaab dostoN ..
Amoonan hum apni zindgi meiN jo bhi karte haiN ..hume theek hi lagta hai
Par guzre waqt me wapis jhaaNkne par haqeeqat kabhi kabhi kuch aur hi bayaaN karti hai ...khair

Ghazal pesh E khidmat hai ummeed hai pasand aayegi ...


Guzrii hai yuuN bhi zindgi nakaamyaab sii
Lagne lagii haiN manzileiN humko saraab sii

(Saraab=mirage)

Hum khud haiN naatuwaaN to bhala kya jawaab deiN
Inn mushkiloN ka ban gayiN jo lajawaab sii

NaatuwaaN=weak

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii

Uqaab=eagle

Kuch der hum bhi kahte rahe dil ki aarzoo
Phir haar ke karne lage baateiN janaab sii

YaaroN ne chora kah ke hume kaam ke nahii
Ye dosti bhi kya hai jo lagti hisaab sii

Maare hue haiN gardish E dauraaN ke aaj kal
achhi bhi kaheiN to lageiN baateiN kharaab sii

Aate haiN unko raaz jaan-ne ke hunar aur..
Soorat bhi mil gayi hume dekho kitaab sii

Andaaz bakhshne ka hai duniyaa ka iss tarah
Lagne lagi khushi hume dekho azaab sii

Azaab=pain


-------------------------------------------------

gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai?
musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai?
--------------------------------------------------
   
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  (#36)
AHMAD SHAKIL
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6th February 2013, 04:07 PM

HaaN meiN mila di haaN to bahut khush hue huzoor
Warna dikha raheiN haiN vo aaNkheiN uqaab sii


Wah Wah Wahhhhhhh Kia Kehnay Kshitz Ji......... Achi Aur Murassa Ghazal PAr Daaad Qabool Farmaaiye...

Kuch Ashaar Apni Behr Se Hat'tay Bhi Nazar aaye, Un Par Bhi Dhayan Dijiye....

Khush Rahiye




Ay Chaara-Saaz Dil Pe M're Daal Ik Nazar
Mujhko Bas Aik Jism Ka Aazaar Hee Nahi

AHMAD ALI SHAKIL
   
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  (#37)
kshitiz
.. ek andaaz
kshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud of
 
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10th February 2013, 05:08 PM

Adaab sanjay bhai ..

Kaise haiN

Taareef ke liye bahut bahut shukriya

Apna khyaal rakhiye


andaaz
   
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  (#38)
kshitiz
.. ek andaaz
kshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud of
 
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10th February 2013, 05:11 PM

Sunita jee

Bahut bahut shukriya ..aap kaisi haiN ..

Apna khyaal rakhiye


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  (#39)
kshitiz
.. ek andaaz
kshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud of
 
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10th February 2013, 05:15 PM

Kaise haiN vikas bhai ..

Bahut dinoN se nazar nahi aa rahe

Tareef ke liye behad shukrguzaar huN

Apna khyaal rakhiye


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  (#40)
kshitiz
.. ek andaaz
kshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud ofkshitiz has much to be proud of
 
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10th February 2013, 05:20 PM

Naresh saaheb ..

Sehat kaisi hai aapki

Daad sar aaNkhoN pe

Apna khyaal rakhiye


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