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mere kaaGhaz pe.... |
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(#1)
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Birha Tu Sultan
  Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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mere kaaGhaz pe.... -
14th October 2014, 07:39 PM
taaza Ghazal ke do misre mehfil ki nazr
mere kaaGhaz pe bikhre chaNd aawaara se lafzoN ko tere zaKhmoN ne aaNkheN bhar ke dekha, she'r kar daala rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#2)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,855
Join Date: Sep 2007
Rep Power: 33
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14th October 2014, 09:28 PM
aadaab !
baRe bhai , waisy to mujhy itna zyada e'lm nahi hai mager aik baat poochni thi keh , sher kar daalna , saHeeH muhavra hai ? kiyoN ke akser auqaat yeh sunnany ko mila hai keh she'r kaha jaata hai . sirf apni tasali ke liye sawaal ker raha hoN , apki ghazal ka shiddat se intezaar rahy ga |
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waah waah |
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(#3)
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Zakhm-e-Rooh
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Posts: 2,220
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ahmedabad
Rep Power: 33
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waah waah -
14th October 2014, 09:40 PM
Quote:
waah waah kyaa baat hai maikash ji, behtareen sher hai. daad qubool farmaaye regards aap ka manu |
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(#4)
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Moderator
Offline
Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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14th October 2014, 10:35 PM
Quote:
aji janab aapke aik hi sher ne qatal kar daala   .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
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(#5)
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Member
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Posts: 1,477
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Delhi .. ovalswitches@gmail.com
Rep Power: 26
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14th October 2014, 10:49 PM
Quote:
aaj yahan zakhmon ka dekhne ka andaaz bhi kuch naya laga ..bhai aap ki baat se vo yaad aya ...ki zor ka jhatka per dheere se laga.. Sanjay Sehgal khone Pane ki daur mein yun uljha hai har bashar , Isee kashmeqash mein kat raha Zindagee ka safar. |
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(#6)
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Humanity
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Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
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14th October 2014, 11:21 PM
Quote:
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#7)
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Shayri.com Moderator
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Posts: 10,551
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: INDIA
Rep Power: 59
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14th October 2014, 11:37 PM
Maikash bhaiya
SSA ...Pranaam Sher khoob pesh kiya hai aapne ...Ghazal ka intezaar rahegaa Duaaon ke saath ijaazat Aapka Dhaval |
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(#8)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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15th October 2014, 01:48 AM
Quote:
aapko mugaal'taa lagaa hai bhai, is meiN kisi muhaav'rey ka zikr nahiiN hai, mere ilm meiN aisa koi muhaav'ra hai hi nahiiN agar aap she'r ko phir se gaur se paDheN to she'r meiN yeh nahiiN kaha gaya hai ka she'r "shayar" ne "kar daala" hai, aisa hota to aitraaz ki baat thi aur Ghair munaasib bhi, jiski ijaazat rivaayt aur modern adab donoN meiN nahiiN di jaayegi shayad lafzoN ko ba'tarteeb biThaaya hai "zakhm-e-janaaN ki nigaah" ne aur she'r kar diya, shayar ke hawaale se to she'r "hota" ya "kehta" aage, ye bahas ka mudda hai, kuch saahib-e-ilm-o-zabaaN ko is par aitraaz ho sakta hai kuch ka khayaal aen ulTaa hoga, isey poetic-freedom bhi keh sakte haiN or "figure of speech" bhi aaj kal urdu aur hindi shayri meiN aksar aNgrezi lafzoN ka istemaal kiya jaata hai, aap Sarwar saahab se is baat ki ijaazat maaNgeNgey to daaNT paDegi aur vahiiN Dr Bashir Badr saahab se puuchiye to unka jawaab haq meiN hoga to yeh is par munhasir hai ke aap wajaahat kis kheemey se maaNg rahe haiN jaise aaj kal kayi shayri ki online mehfiloN, blogs or facebook par lafz "shayris" bartaa jaa raha hai, yeh ek lafz urdu adab ki be-izzati karne ke liye kaafi hai! ye lafz-o-lehja-o-zabaan ki "baariikiyaaN" haiN ummeed karta hooN ke aapke sawaal ka jawaab maine kisi hadd taq saaf kar diya hai, koi aur shubah ho to bilaa-jhijhak kahiyega shukriya rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#9)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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15th October 2014, 01:54 AM
Quote:
miyaaN "bohat hi khushi" ho rahi hai aapse mukhaatib hote hue, kahaaN gayab ho gaye the jigar? aapki daad sar aaNkhoN par bhai, puraane din yaad aa gaye bhai aate jaate raha karo, minnat ki baat hai, dil ko bohat sukoon milta hai un dinoN ke saathiiyoN se baat karte hue khush rahiye rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#11)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
Offline
Posts: 8,417
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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15th October 2014, 10:58 AM
Quote:
maine mujeeb saahab ki baaten bhi padhiin aur aap ki bhii..... amooman ye dekhaa gayaa hai ke sher huaa ya sher kahaa gayaa, ya sher padhaa gayaa...... lekin agar khaas kar ke is sher ke baare me baat karun... to aapka sher 100 fee sadee durust nazar aa raha hai mujhe.... kisii ki nazar ne kisii lafz ko sher kar diyaa..... ho sakta ha mera nazariyaa sahii na ho... lekin jo likha hai aapne wo kamaal ka hai.... llikhte rahiye aur mujeeb bhai ka shukriyaa jo aapne is sher ko dekhne ka alag nazariya dikhaaya.... Shaad... |
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(#12)
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Main shayar to nahin.....
Offline
Posts: 2,796
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 50
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15th October 2014, 11:18 AM
waah maikash jee......kya sher kaha hai......bahut umda......in my point of view it is a perfect sher...
एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था Arvind Saxena Ph. No. 7905856220 |
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(#13)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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15th October 2014, 11:28 AM
Poori ghazal bhi le aayeN janaab.. mazaa aa jaye
Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#14)
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MaiN Our Meri Tanhaayii
Offline
Posts: 984
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 31
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15th October 2014, 04:15 PM
Quote:
umeed hai mulaqaat hoti rahegi...... Shukriyaa Harash Mahajan |
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(#15)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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16th October 2014, 06:41 PM
Quote:
 is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#16)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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19th October 2014, 02:43 AM
baaqi dostoN se hazaar maafiiyoN ki talab ke saaTh Mujeeb sahab ke khat ka jawaab pehle dene ki gustaaKhi kar raha hooN
Quote:
na bhai, khudaaya, aap khud ko kam aur mujhe sharmiNda mat kareiN sawaal karna aapka haq ban'ta hai aur jawaab dena mera farz aapki fiqr bajaa thi aur aapki soch bhi sahi bohat shukriya rabv raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#17)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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30th October 2014, 06:34 PM
Quote:
Sanjay saahab, namaste bhai yeh "zor ke jhaTkoN" ka hi kamaal hai jo saada shakhs ko shaayar banaa dete haiN go maiN apne aapko shayar nahiiN samajhta voh baat alag hai bohat shukriya rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#18)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 22
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31st October 2014, 09:55 AM
waaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!
kya baat hai Maikashji...... dil ko chhu gayaa ye sher...... dili daad-o-mubaarak baad.... ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता 
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(#19)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 182
Join Date: Nov 2007
Rep Power: 19
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31st October 2014, 12:34 PM
Yunhi Likhte rahiye janab.
Bahut khoob... |
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(#20)
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.. ek andaaz
Offline
Posts: 1,681
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: lucknow , hindustaan
Rep Power: 37
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2nd November 2014, 01:02 AM
Sher ke lafzoN ko sher karne wala hiran kahaaN hai bhai
Dekhna chaahenge Umda sher Daad maiqash bhai |
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(#21)
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Moderator
Offline
Posts: 1,113
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 38
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2nd November 2014, 01:15 AM
Quote:
Kabhi kabhi apko pad kar lagta hai ki aap likhte hi jaayein aur main padti hi jaaun. Bohut bohut Sundar. Hamesha ki tarah lafz kam pad rahe hain aapki taareef ke liye. Choti behen ki taraf se bohut si duaaein.... Sarika |
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(#22)
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Super Mod
Offline
Posts: 3,901
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 45
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2nd November 2014, 01:20 AM
Quote:
aapka apnaa Qasid ___________________________________________ नाम-ए-वफ़ा की जफ़ा बताएं क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है 'क़ासिद' पर अब है टिकी निगाहें |
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(#23)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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9th November 2014, 03:18 AM
Quote:
bohat shukriya bhai ab is meiN se Ghazal nikley to mazaa aaye  rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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(#24)
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Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
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9th November 2014, 03:21 AM
Quote:
duaaoN ka behadd shukriya bhai, in dinoN zaroorat bhi bohat hai so sad shukriya aapki tarah mujhe bhi iNtezaar hai  rab raakha maikash is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai maikash ............................... |
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