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Aksar Khud Par Hume.. |
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(#1)
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Kadeer ki...
 
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Aksar Khud Par Hume.. -
17th April 2004, 11:25 AM
Aziz doston Aadaab!!
Ek nayi ghazal likhi thi kuchh din pehle.. aaj aap sab ke saamne pesh kar rahe hain.. Umeed hai ki pasand aayegi. ______________________________________ Aksar khud par hume aitbaar nahi hota, Ye gunah ab humse baar baar nahi hota. Haathon me ret sa phisal jaata hai kabhi, Is waqt par kisika ikhtiyaar nahi hota. Hai yakeen tujh par, teri wafaaon par bhi, Kya karun is dil se intezaar nahi hota. Manaa ki khaab kaii bikhre palkon par, Har armaan TooT kar zaar nahi hota. Zamaane ki dehek me panapta hai ye, Chingaari se jale wo pyaar nahi hota. Na husn na sikkoN ki mohtaaj hai mohobbat, Imaan hota hai ye, karobaar nahi hota. ______________________________________ |
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Bahut achhe banno ji.. |
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(#2)
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Bahut achhe banno ji.. -
17th April 2004, 11:52 AM
Banno ji sabse pehle to aapko janm divas ki shubhkaamnaaeiN..deri or Kchhama (be-lated) ke saath.
Aap ki ye post parhi...wakai bahut achchha likha hai aapne....puri ki puri rachna swabhavik (realistic) khayalatoN se bhari hai.. Na husn na sikkoN ki mohtaaj hai mohobbat, Imaan hota hai ye, karobaar nahi hota. Sahi kaha aapne...par kitne haiN jo ise sirf soch hi nahi rakhte..ispar amal bhi karte haiN. Anjaam sochkar, aksar khaamosh hi reh jaate haiN. - Chaand |
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(#3)
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Kadeer ki...
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17th April 2004, 12:03 PM
Chaand saahab,
Aadaab! Subh kaamnaayein kabhi deri se nahi milti.. its the thought that counts!  Sahi kaha aapne, aksar insaan jo sochta hai, us par amal nahi karta.. ya nahi kar paata.. sochna aasaan hota hai shayad, magar amal karne ke liye himmat aur hausle ki zaroorat hoti hai.. jo aaj kal kum him milte hain.. bas, dua kijiyega ki jab Khuda ne aisi soch di ho kisi ko, to us par amal karne ka huasla bhi de! Aapko ye kalaam pasand aaya.. hume bohat khushi hui.. Apne waqt, aur apne alfaaz ke liye tahe dil se shukria!  |
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(#4)
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Ek Baar Kaho Tum Meri Ho
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17th April 2004, 03:34 PM
hiii...
woww... kya kehna, bahut hi zabardats likha hai... Mujhe bahut pasand aaya... Every line is niceeee... Thanks 4 Sharing this |
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(#5)
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*Ishq~Ibadat.......**
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Location: Aapne Sanam Ko Yaad Kiya Sar Jhuka Liya**
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17th April 2004, 05:12 PM
Salam,
Dear Afshan Jee, umeed karti hu aapki tabiyat theek honge. Aur haal ka pata tou chal chuka tou keya poochoon! Every single sher*great. Keya baataye, aapne hi sab kuch kehdiya...dilko chho gaayi hein aur yunhi rehjaayegi. Dilki gehraion se shukriya kabool kijiyega. Yunhi likhte rahiyega. Take care. God bless you. Allah Hafiz.Keep smilling....... Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche** *~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~** *Pure Love** |
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(#6)
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Kadeer ki...
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17th April 2004, 06:14 PM
vvenomouss ji,
Thanks for reading my work.. Glad you liked it! Shimul ji, Tabiyat in hawaon jaisi hai.. kabhi achi, kabhi buri..  .. Aapko ye kalaam itna pasand aya, hume bohat khushi hui.. yunhi himmat baRaate rahiyega aur muskuraate rahiyega! |
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(#7)
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17th April 2004, 06:55 PM
Banno G Tasleem,
Hai yakeen tujh par, teri wafaaon par bhi, Kya karun is dil se intezaar nahi hota Bass yaheeN to hum maar khaa jaate hain... dil-e-inss jo Thehra waqai dil-fareb kalaam pesh kiya hai aapne... aur woh bhi apne Salgirah ke mauke par... kya baat hai ..yeh to ulTa hame tohfa de diya aapne...ek khubsoorat kalaam likhne par aur aap ke janm din ke avsar ki Mubarak baad qubool kijiye....Dua-e-Umr-e-daraaz ke sath ... Talib. |
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hi |
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(#8)
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kuch likhne ki koshish
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hi -
17th April 2004, 07:51 PM
banno banno banno
kasi ho....? aik bar phir se wish karte hain aap ko aap k janam din.chahe der se sahi.... that must b one of the best u wrote... bohat bohat bohat kamal ka likha hay..har tarah ki khobi.. lafzon ka ka istimal..gazab...sheron ki soch khob.. or aik achi gazal.... bhai ki taraf se mubarikbad kabol karo... or ainda bhi isi tarah likhti raho aaj bohat khushi hui.. apna khiyal rakhna.. agar mohabbat hay to judai kiyon or judai main mohabbat kasi???? |
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(#9)
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18th April 2004, 04:42 AM
Banno...
Wish you a belated Happy Birthday...bhagwaan kare aapki zindagi khushiyon se bharpoor ho...aur kya khuub likha hai apne janmdin ke avsar par... Zamaane ki dehek me panapta hai ye, Chingaari se jale wo pyaar nahi hota. Na husn na sikkoN ki mohtaaj hai mohobbat, Imaan hota hai ye, karobaar nahi hota. bahut achha laga...yoonhi likhti rahiegaa...kam lafz...gehri soch... very nice indeed... paras gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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(#10)
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deewaana
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18th April 2004, 08:45 AM
asllamaleikuum namaste and sat sri a kaal
banno jee, sirf dil she yeh keh shaktaa hoon wah kiya kahoon naah kehena ab yeh imman hoh yah koi karobbar hoh dil keh jazbaat kaishee peeroyeh jaate hain aap khoob jante hoh aaj hee aap kah prfile read kiya jabkee padh letah toh sharmindghee she aapkoh janm deen kee mubarakiya pehele deh deeta sab yahan per gunehghaar hotee hain sazza koi bhi hoh humhee hain kabool dua mein humhee shameel kijiyegha |
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(#11)
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Kadeer ki...
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18th April 2004, 10:26 AM
Janaab Talib!
Salaam aur Aadaab! Sahi kaha aapne.. ye dil aksar gaRbaR kar deta hai.. aadat si hai iski shayad! Rahi baat tohfe ki, to janaab tohfa to pehle aap dostoN ne diya.. itni saari duaein, itni saari wishes.. is kalaam ko humaara shukria samajhh lijiye.. Apna khayaal rakhiyega, Allah Hafiz!Khan bhai!!  Aapko ye ghazal ITNI pasand aayi, aapko ise paR kar khushi hui.. ab laga ki is ghazal ne kuchh kar dikhaaya! Hum to theek hain, aap kaise hain?? LOL.. aur agar der se wish kiya bhi to kya hua?? Janam din par waqt se pehle wish kiya, is baar der se..to dono cancel out ho jaate hain aur nateeja ye nikalta hai ki aapne waqt par wish kiya..Ye humaari 'Maths' hai..LOL! Chaliye, aap apna khayaal rakhiyega.. aur please apni khairyat bataate rahiyega.. Allah Hafiz! Paras.. DuaoN ke liye tahe dil se shukria.. ye duaein humaare liye bohat ehem hain.. aur Mashallah, is janamdin par bharpoor mili! Koshish to yahi rehti hai ki jo zehen me hai wo kaaghaz par bhi theek se utaar sakein.. lekin dil ke jazbaat hote hi kuchh aise hain ki kitni bhi koshish karo,Kalaam shayar ke jazbaat puuri tarah se bayaan nahi kar pata.. kum se kum humaare saath to ye aksar hota hai.. phir bhi aap dost itni hausla afzai kar dete hain, humaari khushnaseebi hai.. yunhi himmat bandhaati rehna.. thanks! Deewana ji.. Are janaab! aapne wish kiya, ye kya kum hai?? Ab aapke wishes ke liye aapko saza kaise dein? Hume to shukria ada karna hai, ki aapne ye kalaam paRa, use pasand kiya, uski tareef ki aur saath saath janam din par hume mubarakbaad bhi di!.. is liye.. shukria!! |
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(#12)
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Humanity
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Location: Delhi
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18th April 2004, 02:00 PM
Hi! Didi,
Really beautiful words... Touching the soul as always... And yet very true.... Well... Keep up the good work and do take care of urself Pulkit ( A big Fan...) Na husn na sikkoN ki mohtaaj hai mohobbat, Imaan hota hai ye, karobaar nahi hota. Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#13)
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Kadeer ki...
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19th April 2004, 01:34 PM
Hi Pulkit!
How are you?? Well, I'll try and keep writing well.. so that you remain a 'big fan'.. Till then, you take care of yourself!Didi. |
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hello |
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(#14)
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hello -
19th April 2004, 03:37 PM
afshan ji,
Ghazal aapki padhi..aapne last ke sher mein bahut hi sachchi baat kahi hai. bahut pasand aayi. likhati rahiye.shubhkamnao sahit, Akant... आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो... AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho... |
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(#15)
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Registered User
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Location: Chicago
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19th April 2004, 08:01 PM
wow....very nice poem...keep writing
mujhe to sirf tera waada aazmana tha. |
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(#16)
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MriiGchiika
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Location: INDIA (Mumbai)
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19th April 2004, 10:42 PM
Meriii..achhii...dosT...Afshan!
sach bataoo yaar jab apne ye kalaam post kiya tha tabhii padhliya tha..par na jane kyoo...kuch bhii kehne ko dil nahi kara.....kabhi kabhii baat ko padh kar chhup ho jana hii behtar hota hai...par fhir soch....hum kam se kam daad to de hii sakte hai na...ek ache kalaam ko pesh karne k liye....kyoo afshaan..sahii kaha naa....to der na karoo aur..aam se insaan se aam sii daad kabul kar lo......chalta hu..duaoo mai yaad rakhiyegaa...Sanju! Manaa ki khaab kaii bikhre palkon par, Har armaan TooT kar zaar nahi hota........sach mai dua rahegii apke armaan.....apne mukam par pahuch kar hii damm le!!!! muddato mout ne bhi tarsaaya hame.. ..... |
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(#17)
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Kadeer ki...
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20th April 2004, 12:30 PM
Akant ji..
Aap itne masroof hone ke bawajood humaare kalaam paRte hain aur unhe saraahte hain.. dil se shukria kubool kijiyega humaara aapki is hausla afzai ke liye! Ajforu ji.. Thanks for reading and appreciating my work.. I'll try and keep it up.. thanks! Sanju! hmm.. hota hai yun bhi.. kabhi kuchh paR kar bohat kuchh kehne ka man kare aur kabhi chup ho jaaye.. phir bhi yahaan aakar tumne kalaam ki tareef ki, ye bohat hai! Us par tumne dua bhi de di, ab iska to shukria ada nahi ho sakta.. chalo, dua ke badle dua hi le lo... Khush raho! Phir milte hain, Take care! |
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(#18)
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Registered User
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22nd April 2004, 11:21 AM
meri banno,
swabhawakita ko saralta se pash kiya tumne...... gr8 work. |
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(#19)
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Registered User
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Location: London
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22nd April 2004, 06:00 PM
Wah Afshan Wah!!
sach bahut hi pasand aayi tumhaari ye ghazal bhi.. Tumhaari likhawat mein yakeenan bahut nikhaar aa gaya hai..ik ik sheyr is ghazal ka bahut pasand aaya..khaas kar doosra ,teesra aur aakhri sheyr.. Hope u have enjoyed urs B'day and r having a good time. Take Care Veeru chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai... |
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(#20)
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Kadeer ki...
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24th April 2004, 03:55 PM
Pyaari Meena!
Tumhe kalaam pasand aaya, ab isme thodi aur jaan aa gayi.. Veeru!! kaise ho?? Chalo, humaari kisi baat me to nikhaar aaya! .. koshish rahegi ki humesha aisa likhein jo tumhe pasand aaye.. jo tumhaari 'wah!' ke laayak ho.. I had a great time on my birthday.. had a picnic and all.. and am still having a blast!.. hope you are having fun in life as well..Take care! |
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(#21)
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Registered User
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Location: Khariar, Odisha
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26th April 2004, 11:49 AM
Afshaan Jii,
Aadaab, Aap kaa yah ghazal tou maine pahle hi padhli thii par achhaa se nahi padh paayaa.Waqt hi nahi mila thaa.Aure mai jab tak puri kavitaa ko achhe se nahi padh leta tab tak reply karnaa mujhe adhuraa lagtaa hai. Kuch aise hi lagtaa hai jaise kisi ki adhuraa namaskaar kiya ho. Wakii mai aap ne bahut achhaa likhaa hai. Khash kar ke yah lines tou bahut jyadaa achhaa laga. Hai yakeen tujh par, teri wafaaon par bhi, Kya karun is dil se intezaar nahi hota. Such hi likhaa hai aap ne. Chaahat kuch aise hi hoti hai aure insaan apni chaahat ko jaldi paa jaanaa chahtaa hai. Na husn na sikkoN ki mohtaaj hai mohobbat, Imaan hota hai ye, karobaar nahi hota. Behatriin likhaa hai aap ne. daad qabul kijiyegaa. Janam din ki dherooN dherooN dherooN badhayiaaN. Take care Mayank |
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(#22)
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Kadeer ki...
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26th April 2004, 03:50 PM
Mayank ji..
Are saahab, rai bhale hi thodi der se dete hain, magar dete to hain!.. aur ye hi humaare liye mayne rakhta hai..ab dekhiye, aapne is kalaam ko itni bareeki se paRa, ise samjhha, saraaha.. koi shikaayat kaise kare phir? Such hi likhaa hai aap ne. Chaahat kuch aise hi hoti hai aure insaan apni chaahat ko jaldi paa jaanaa chahtaa hai. hmm.. apna ek puraana sher yaad aa raha hai.. arz karte hain.. Kaun kehta hai hume pyaar nahi, Pyaar to hai, bas ikaar nahi, Kar dete izhaar e mohabbat magar, Kismat par apni aitbaar nahi. Janaab, ye intezaar itna mushkil nahi hota agar iske kabhi khatm na hone ka darr nahi hota. Shayad isi liye apne pyaar ko jald se jald paane ki bataabi rehti hai.. Chaliye.. aapka tahe dil se shukria.. aapne is kalaam par reply karke isme thodi aur jaan daal di.. Take care! |
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(#23)
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.. ek andaaz
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Location: lucknow , hindustaan
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26th April 2004, 06:55 PM
AfshaN ..
Kaisi ho , hum to samjhe ki tum pakistan jaa ke hume bhool gayi .. he he Chalo tum wapis aayi to sahi aur aate hi aate kya shandar ghazal suna dee , padh ke bahut achha laga Ghazal ka har ashaar bahut achha hai , vo baat ye hai naa ki kisi bhi cheez ki jiyada tareef kee jaye to vo beja lagne lagti hai .. aur tumhari ghazal to kabhi tareef ki mauhtaaj nahi hoti .. fir bhi humse daad Qabul farmao aise hi likhti raho apna khyaal rakho |
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(#24)
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Kadeer ki...
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27th April 2004, 10:21 AM
Kshitiz!!!
Pakistan??  Hum kab Pakistan gaye? Aur janaab, hum is mehfil se gaye hi kab the jo lauT aayein?! aur hum kahin bhi jaayein, yahaan aayein ya nahi aayein, tum doston ko bhool nahi sakte.. Hum yahin hain, kaafi kuchh post bhi kar chuke hain.. hume to lag raha hai jaise tum ek arse baad aaye ho.. kitne din ho gaye, tumhaara likha hua koi ashaar nahi paRa.. chalo, is ghazal ko tumhaari tareef se nawaaz kar ise chaar chaand laga diye! Umeed hai ki yunhi saath dete rahoge.. Take care! |
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