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Ruh ki shama..
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Afshan
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Ruh ki shama.. - 14th April 2003, 02:12 PM

**************************

Ruh ki shama jo bujhne lage,
Dard ke sheeshe jo chubhne lage,
Doobja kisi ke ghum mein tu,
Jeene se dil jo ubhne lage.

**************************


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assalamvalaikum
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abidhussain
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assalamvalaikum - 16th April 2003, 01:48 AM

Hi banno,
This is in reply to your sher(zahra ka bhi dhyaan idhar kijiye ga..jo hamesha kehti rehti hai ki mai kuch likta nahi hu..)
"Ummeed ki shama ko jo hamne thaam liya hai,
hosla-afzaii ka aisa jaam piya hai.
doobne ki ab hame nahi zarurat,
hawayo ne ab kashti ko thaam liya hai."


Abidhussain!!
Apni marzi se kaha apne safar ke hum hai,
Rukh hawaoo ka jidhar ka hai,udhar ke ham hai.
   
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Afshan
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26th April 2003, 01:24 PM

Abid sahab, humare khayal se ab Zahra ko koi shikayat na hogi .. Sher padrne ka shukria!

*************************
Hawaon ka bharosa na kijiye,
Apna dil kisi ko na dijiye,
Bewafai hai insaan ki fitrat,
Aytbaar toofano ka na kijiye.
*************************


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bedilMusafir
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8th May 2003, 01:07 AM

bohat achcha likha hai Banno ji...
per bharosa aur aitbaar kerna to aadat me shaamil hai insaan ki...

likhti rahiye aur muskuraati rahiye...


mai 'bedil'
   
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ghayalparwana
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9th May 2003, 11:24 AM

Doobja kisi ke ghum mein tu,
Jeene se dil jo ubhne lage

Huun achhi salaah di hai aapne..Magar jab zindagi kisi se ubhne lage to woh kya kare?

Likhte Rahiye
Varinder


kyon zindagi ki raah mein akele chalta hai dost
chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai...
   
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Afshan
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10th May 2003, 12:06 PM

Pasand farmane ka shukria Bedil ji

Varinder ji:

Kabhi kabhi ghum ke sahare jeene aasaan ho jaata hai...

*********************

Sharaabon me ghula nasha hoti hai,
Madhoshi me jo aaye wo maza hoti hai,
Na kar isse itni mohabbat 'Ghayal',
Yeh zindagi aksar bewafa hoti hai.

*********************


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ghayalparwana
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13th May 2003, 10:18 PM

Afshan ji,

Aapka sheyr pada to kuchh hamare bhi mann mein aaya hai..

'Ghayal' ko zindagi se pyaar hi kab tha..
ye to "woh" thi jo jeene ka mazza de gayi
Kambakht Maut bhi ussi sanam jaisi nikli..
Woh bhi Bewafa"Ghayal" ko dagaa de gayi

Isme sirf sachaai hi bayaan ki hai maine..

Chaliye phir mulakaat hogi..

Varinder


kyon zindagi ki raah mein akele chalta hai dost
chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai...
   
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Sharaabi
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13th May 2003, 11:40 PM

Banno ji,
aapne aur varinder bhai ne bahot khoob likhaa hai!!
yeh muqaablah achcha chal raha hai

likhte rahiye,
aman



"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"


kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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Afshan
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14th May 2003, 12:14 PM

Wah!.. Sachchai bohat achhe tareeke se bayaan ki hai aapne Varinder ji

**************************

Arzoo kabhi paas to aayegi,
Der se sahi, aas to aayegi,
Karta rah dard se wafa aye 'Ghayal',
Wafa teri kabhi to raas aayegi.

**************************

Aman ji: Muqaabla??!!.. Kaisa muqaabla? .. Hum to sirf Varinder ji se baatein kar rahe hain.. .. Ise muqable ka naam na de, kyonki phir to haar humari hi hogi!


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ghayalparwana
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14th May 2003, 12:46 PM

Afshan ji aapne aarzoo aur wafa ki baat ki to ye bataayenge ke aarzooen hamari bhi bahut thi MAGAR----

Dil mein Aashaon ke saagar bhi the..
Lage har taraf aarzoon ke Mele bhi the..
Wafa to ki thi 'ghayal' ne beshumaar..
Magar har mor par dekha to hum Akele hi the


Aur jo baat aman ji ne mazaak mein kahi uspar ye arz karna chahoonga--

Dil ka dard dil mein hi rahega..
ye na apne aashian se bahar jaayega..
'Afshan' ki shayri to lajawaab hai..
ghayal bechaara to ik zarre se bhi haar jaayega

Aap bahut achha likhti hai Afshan ji..aapse muqabla karne ki main majaal nahin rakhta..par haan aapse baatein kar ke bahut achha lagta hai mujhe..

Aap likhte rahiye..main padta rahoonga

Varinder


kyon zindagi ki raah mein akele chalta hai dost
chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai...
   
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Afshan
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14th May 2003, 12:56 PM

Shayad aap shayaron ko hum jaison ko sharminda karne ka shauk hai! Afshan likhti to hai, par agar dil hota, to shayad aur bhi achha likhti... khair..


Apne jo sher arz kiya hai, uski gehraii kitni hai hum ab tak nahi maloom kar sake, kyonki ab tak uski teh tak pohanch hi nahi paye! Magar aapne akele hone ki baat ki to humara ek sher yaad aaya jo bohat ehle humne likha tha.. apki nazar kar rahe hain:

***********************

Hazaar tare jalte aasman mein,
Tim timakar raat banaye haseen,
Hazaaron tare, har ek akela,
Duniya aasman se juda to nahin.

***********************


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14th May 2003, 07:15 PM

banno ji bahut khoob
bahut khoobsorat sa sher farmaya hai aapne
aapka dost ..


andaaz
   
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Afshan
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15th May 2003, 12:27 PM

Shukria Kshitiz ji! Hume khushi hui ke aapko sher pasand aaya


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16th May 2003, 02:23 PM

Hazaar tare jalte aasman mein,
Tim timakar raat banaye haseen,
Hazaaron tare, har ek akela,
Duniya aasman se juda to nahin

Bilkul sahi likha hai aapne, Ye duniya sach mein us aasmaan se alag nahin hai..yahan par bhi karoro shakhs hai magar har koi tanha hai akela hai..

Bahut hi achha likha hai aapne..Aapka ye sheyr padkar ek bahut hi mashhoor sheyr yaad aaya,jisjke shayar ka naam to yaad nahin,magar likha bahut khoob hai..

Aaine ke Sau tukde karr ke humne Dekhe hain..
Ek mein bhji tanha the , sau mein bhi akele hain..

Kuchh aisa hi ehsaas hua aapka yah sheyr parkar..

Likhte Rahiye..aba zyada tareef kar ke sharminda nahin karta aur chalta huun
Varinder


kyon zindagi ki raah mein akele chalta hai dost
chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai...
   
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Afshan
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18th May 2003, 12:25 PM

Shukria Varinder ji

Hmm.. yeh sher humne bhi paRa hai.. aur shayad koi gaana bhi is ko lekar banaaya gaya tha.. sach kehta hai yeh sher... khair.. aap apna khayal rakhiyega.. aur sharminda na karne ka bhi shukria!


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