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%Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai%
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Kavita Negi
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%Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai% - 28th October 2010, 12:13 PM

Har mausam Har bahaar se darr lagta hai.......Na jaane hume kyun pyaar se darr lagta hai......Nahi hai koshish kisi ko sunaaye haal-e-dil....Ke ab to hume apne hi vyvhaar se darr lagta hai.....!!!
Ek choti si koshish ke saath fir aayi hun aapke saamne.....!!! Aapke sujhaavo ka intzaar rahega....!!!

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

******




KAVITA NEGI

Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!!
Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!!
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janumanu
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28th October 2010, 12:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavita Negi View Post
Har mausam Har bahaar se darr lagta hai.......Na jaane hume kyun pyaar se darr lagta hai......Nahi hai koshish kisi ko sunaaye haal-e-dil....Ke ab to hume apne hi vyvhaar se darr lagta hai.....!!!
Ek choti si koshish ke saath fir aayi hun aapke saamne.....!!! Aapke sujhaavo ka intzaar rahega....!!!




Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

******


Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

bahut khoob matlaa hai, ....!!


Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

ye bhi bahut acha kaha hai .....!!

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

lajbaab , outstanding ........

well aapka diwaar pe sheesha nahi hai ye bahut acha .... lekin pahle misre se thoda uljha raha hai ...

aur pahla misraa bhi abhut kamaal ka hai,,,,,

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum

mere khyaal se dekh kar tujhe khud ko dekhte they hum ho to aur behtar........

lekin next misre mai diwaar ane se confusion create ho rahi hai, sirf ghar mai sheesha nahi hai ho to aur behrt ........


mujhe ye sher apka best laga ... khyaal bahut hi umdaa hai


plzz keep writing .........

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janumanu
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28th October 2010, 12:35 PM

sorry not able to give u repss......
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Praneeta
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Love 28th October 2010, 01:05 PM

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai


bahot khub Kavita ji
thnx 4 sharing

Regards


_______________________________________________
PRANEETA

Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti
Main dekta rehta unhe aur haal-e-dil bayaaN hota
Ananthpak

Last edited by Praneeta; 28th October 2010 at 01:07 PM..
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KunaaL
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28th October 2010, 01:21 PM

Bohat hi bhadiya .... tumhari likhai tumhe god gift hai ,.,,, tum by default hi technique main aa jaati ho ...

mujhe ek ek shabd accha laga iska

seedha saaf saccha aur accha

Kunaal


KunaaL (Sifar).........

Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa..
Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
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28th October 2010, 05:47 PM

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai


Bahut Khoob Kaha Aapne ... Kavita Ji !

BaaKii Ashaar ke khayal bhi asardaar aur dilkash lage mujhe ... dil se daad hazir hai ... aise hi likhti rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen ...

duaaon ke saath ....




YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...


---Naresh Mehra----
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Kavita Negi
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28th October 2010, 06:02 PM

[QUOTE=janumanu;

[B]Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai[/B]
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

bahut khoob matlaa hai, ....!!

=>Shukriyaa Vikaas ji.....................................!!!


Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

ye bhi bahut acha kaha hai .....!!

=>Bahut bahut Shukriyaa.................................!!!

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

lajbaab , outstanding ........

=>Ji, shukriyaa aapka..................................!!!

well aapka diwaar pe sheesha nahi hai ye bahut acha .... lekin pahle misre se thoda uljha raha hai ...

=>Ji, Bilkul sahi kaha aapne,, isse misre ko lekar mai bhi uljhan me thi... pehle ye sher bnaaya tha :-

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekha kiye jisme
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

=>Fir khud ko acha nahi laga, Isse liye jaise tha waise hi rehne diya......!!!


aur pahla misraa bhi abhut kamaal ka hai,,,,,

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum

mere khyaal se dekh kar tujhe khud ko dekhte they hum ho to aur behtar........

=>Ji, Bilkul behtar hota..................................!!!


lekin next misre mai diwaar ane se confusion create ho rahi hai, sirf ghar mai sheesha nahi hai ho to aur behrt ........


=>Hmm... agree wid u....................................!!!

mujhe ye sher apka best laga ... khyaal bahut hi umdaa hai


plzz keep writing .........

=>Bilkul Vikas ji, likhna kisse pasand nahii , koshish rahegi aur behtar likhne ki............!!! Aap issi trah sath dete rahiyega....!!!Aapka bahut bahut shukriyaa...............!!! Khush rahiyeee.....!!!


Regards

Kavita


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Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!!
Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!!
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Kavita Negi
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29th October 2010, 02:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
sorry not able to give u repss......
Vikas ji,
Aapke comment reps se badhkar haii....!!! Khush rahiyee....!!!


KAVITA NEGI

Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!!
Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!!
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29th October 2010, 02:59 PM

[QUOTE=KunaaL;414162]
Bohat hi bhadiya ....

Shukriya Kunaal....................!!!

tumhari likhai tumhe god gift hai ,.,,, tum by default hi technique main aa jaati ho ...


Shayad tum sahi keh rahe ho..............!!! Hmm... Jab dil se likhne bethti hun to mai by default hi technique me aa jati hun.......!!!


mujhe ek ek shabd accha laga iska

Hmm.. Shukriyaa,, Pasand Karne ke liye aur apna keemati waqt dene ke liyee.....!!!

seedha saaf saccha aur accha

Dil se shukriyaa.....!!! Aate raha karo....!!! Khush raho...!!! Apna khayaal rakhna.....!!!

Kunaal

Kavita


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Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!!
Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!!
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aktiwari13
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29th October 2010, 05:14 PM

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai



Bahut Aacha!!!!!!!
   
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Pradhyuman
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29th October 2010, 11:12 PM

kavita ji,

hmm..jaisa kunaal ne kaha mujhe bhi aapki baatoen mein saadgi nazar aati hai..daad.

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

dil mein chaahat agar mehfooz hai to aap bhi khud se ruksat nahi hue..zinda hi hai..aap yeh keh sakti hai ki "kabhi thi teri chaahat is dil mein mehfooz..."

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai

donoeN misroeN mein rabt nahi hai..maslan donoeN lines ko saath likhna zaroori nahi hai..aap ise kahin bhi fit karr sakti hai..lekin sher ke donoeN misre ek doosre se jude hote hai..

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

sunne mein acha lagta hai..lekin aap ise word by word padhiye..woh har pal yaad hai jo uski pehchaan thi wo rishta ab nahi hai? jo aap kehna chaah rahi hai woh to mein samjh gaya lekin phir bhi..behtar aap jaanti hai

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

khyaal bahot hi acha hai..lekin aap pehle keh chuki hai ki nazroen mein uske siwa koi chehra nahi hai..aur aakhri sher mein keh rahi ho ki pehle aap khud mein use dekhti thi ab nahi..matlab ab uska chehra nahi hai..toh baat kuch saaf nahi ho rahi..aap dekh lijiyega..

meri kisi bhi baat ka bura matt maaniyega. aur gar zyaada keh gaya hun to mauf kar dijiyega.mera maqsad aapka honsla badhaana hi hai..aap acha likhti hai aur chaahta hun ki aur bhi acha likho..god bless.

aapka dost,
Pradhyuman


-------------------------------------------------

gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai?
musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai?
--------------------------------------------------

Last edited by Pradhyuman; 29th October 2010 at 11:14 PM..
   
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zainy
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29th October 2010, 11:51 PM

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai


VERY SIMPLE AND SWEET KAVITA JI.........

BOHAT HI TOUCHING HAI AAPKI GHAZAL....

EHSAAS BOHAT PASAND AAYE MUJHE.........


Har mausam Har bahaar se darr lagta hai.......Na jaane hume kyun pyaar se darr lagta hai......Nahi hai koshish kisi ko sunaaye haal-e-dil....Ke ab to hume apne hi vyvhaar se darr lagta hai.....!!!

INTRODUCTION BHI LAJAWAAB HAI..........





Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
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30th October 2010, 04:55 AM

Kavita jii bhut hi khoob aur bhut hi impressive aapka andaaz bhut piyaara hai lafz baratne mai bhi aapne bhut khoobi dikhaaii hai...........daad hazir hai qubool keejiye


aslam


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30th October 2010, 10:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai


bahot khub Kavita ji
thnx 4 sharing

Regards
Praneeta Ji,

Bahut bahut shukriyaa aapka......!!!


Regards


KAVITA NEGI

Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!!
Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!!
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30th October 2010, 01:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavita Negi View Post
Har mausam Har bahaar se darr lagta hai.......Na jaane hume kyun pyaar se darr lagta hai......Nahi hai koshish kisi ko sunaaye haal-e-dil....Ke ab to hume apne hi vyvhaar se darr lagta hai.....!!!
Ek choti si koshish ke saath fir aayi hun aapke saamne.....!!! Aapke sujhaavo ka intzaar rahega....!!!

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

******

kavita sahiba...aadaab...

is baar ki apki koshish ne zara naaraaz kiya.......
rabt ki bahut kami hai if at all theres any...

normally aisi type ki tehreere tikti hai flow aur rawaani par .....so pichli baar bahut hadd tak rawaa thi....( ab vo relatively rawaa kyu thi aapke jaane bina ..ye mai apko bata sakta hu magar khat lamba ho jayega)
is baar magar bilkul rawaa nahi hai...jaise aap apni hi tecnic bhool gayi hoN....

kyu na aap kuch dino tak gaane likhe ? ghazal par zara der se aayen?
ye mera suggestion hai...

by default relative kaam chalaauu rawaani( never complete) sirf gaane tak aa sakti hai...ghazal me kabhi nahi....

mera suggestion hai aap kuch din aur gaane likhiye...naadani me sahi...bina taiyyari kiye aag me kudne se faida nahi( bina fire proof dress pahne)

Last edited by zidd; 30th October 2010 at 01:11 PM..
   
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Love 30th October 2010, 01:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavita Negi View Post
Har mausam Har bahaar se darr lagta hai.......Na jaane hume kyun pyaar se darr lagta hai......Nahi hai koshish kisi ko sunaaye haal-e-dil....Ke ab to hume apne hi vyvhaar se darr lagta hai.....!!!
Ek choti si koshish ke saath fir aayi hun aapke saamne.....!!! Aapke sujhaavo ka intzaar rahega....!!!

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai

Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

******

kavita jee
radhe radhe

bahut khoob..............dil se daad
duaon ke saath


Aapka Apna
Ishk


'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है
इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है


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31st October 2010, 01:06 PM

Khyaal na ho tera aisa koi lamha nahi hai
Kaise kahein bin tere hum tannha nahi hai


Teri chahate dil me mehfooz rehti hai
Ho gye khud se ruksat hum zinda nahi hai

Baat ho koi bhi zikar tera rahe har pal
Tere siwa nazaro me koi chehra nahi hai

Yaad to ab bhi hai harr ek uss pal ki
Pehchaan thi jo teri bas wo RISHTA nahi hai

Dekh kar khud ko tujhe dekhte the hum
Mere ghar ki diwar me ab wo shisha nahi hai

Very beautiful creation, Kavita Ji...! Har sher laajawaab hai...!

YuNhi likhaa kareiN

Duaaon ke saath



Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai

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