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Wo Phool
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ek_wafa
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Wo Phool - 14th May 2006, 01:45 PM
jeevan khila tha koi aise jaise koi phool
hanste muskurate gulshan ko wo jee raha tha
sawan ki rimjhim se chamak raha tha
purvai ki roshni se damak raha tha


kuch lamhe nahin poori ek zindagi jee raha tha phool
khushi ke ansu reh rehkar pyar se pee raha tha phool
par khushi ko kuch jaldi thi shayad
wo laut gayi, laut_te kadmon ko dekh raha tha phool


abb murjhane ki baari aayi thi
fiza gayi abb khiza ki baari aayi thi
dheere dheere mayus ho raha tha wo phool
jaise apni hi mazaar pe ro raha tha wo phool


dua mangta tha hawa chale kuch zor se
toot kar alag ho jaye wo ikk dor se
ajeeb sa dard jhel raha tha wo phool
jane kyun apne ghum se khel raha tha wo phool


na hawa chali na koi toofan aaya
na hi dhoop thi uspar na hi koi saaya
apne hi aangan mein mara pada tha wo
maali ne usse uthaya jane kahan rakh aaya

Aaina mujhse meri pehli si surat maange
   
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Re: Wo Phool
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ashiq awara,
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Re: Wo Phool - 14th May 2006, 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by ek_wafa
jeevan khila tha koi aise jaise koi phool
hanste muskurate gulshan ko wo jee raha tha
sawan ki rimjhim se chamak raha tha
purvai ki roshni se damak raha tha


kuch lamhe nahin poori ek zindagi jee raha tha phool
khushi ke ansu reh rehkar pyar se pee raha tha phool
par khushi ko kuch jaldi thi shayad
wo laut gayi, laut_te kadmon ko dekh raha tha phool


abb murjhane ki baari aayi thi
fiza gayi abb khiza ki baari aayi thi
dheere dheere mayus ho raha tha wo phool
jaise apni hi mazaar pe ro raha tha wo phool


dua mangta tha hawa chale kuch zor se
toot kar alag ho jaye wo ikk dor se
ajeeb sa dard jhel raha tha wo phool
jane kyun apne ghum se khel raha tha wo phool


na hawa chali na koi toofan aaya
na hi dhoop thi uspar na hi koi saaya
apne hi aangan mein mara pada tha wo
maali ne usse uthaya jane kahan rakh aaya
hi wafa ji,
bohat hi accha likhte hain aap. aapka har kalaam dil par ek gehra asar chod jaata hai aapka kalaam padhne ke baad hum pata nahi kyon ek soch mein doob jaate hain. wafa ji dard ko is khubsurti se aap shabdon mein utaarti hai ke uski taareef ke liye to hamare paas alfaaz kam pad jaaye aisa lagta hai jaise saara kissa aankho ke saamne hi bayaan ho raha hai. is awara ke dil se nikli daad kabool kijiye. aap isi tarah likhte rahiy aur apna khayal rakhiye..................

Not Mine.


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dusron ka likha post karta hoon
kyonki mai shayar nahi hoon
lekin mujhe shayri bohat pasand hai
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Re: Re: Wo Phool
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ek_wafa
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Re: Re: Wo Phool - 15th May 2006, 06:35 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by ashiq awara,
hi wafa ji,
bohat hi accha likhte hain aap. aapka har kalaam dil par ek gehra asar chod jaata hai aapka kalaam padhne ke baad hum pata nahi kyon ek soch mein doob jaate hain. wafa ji dard ko is khubsurti se aap shabdon mein utaarti hai ke uski taareef ke liye to hamare paas alfaaz kam pad jaaye aisa lagta hai jaise saara kissa aankho ke saamne hi bayaan ho raha hai. is awara ke dil se nikli daad kabool kijiye. aap isi tarah likhte rahiy aur apna khayal rakhiye..................

bahut bahut shukriya aapka.....aapne itne dil se iss nazm ko padha...isse saraha...bahut bahut shukriya.....

apna khayal rakhyiega

Aaina mujhse meri pehli si surat maange
   
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ranju bhatia
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16th May 2006, 11:29 AM
abb murjhane ki baari aayi thi
fiza gayi abb khiza ki baari aayi thi
dheere dheere mayus ho raha tha wo phool
jaise apni hi mazaar pe ro raha tha wo phool


dua mangta tha hawa chale kuch zor se
toot kar alag ho jaye wo ikk dor se
ajeeb sa dard jhel raha tha wo phool
jane kyun apne ghum se khel raha tha wo phool

bahut khub likha hai Wafa aapne...........dard ko bahut ho khubsurat andaz mein pesh kiya hai...........yun hi likhti rahe

with love

ranju

ranjana
   
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kabhee kabhee
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masoomshayer
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kabhee kabhee - 16th May 2006, 05:25 PM
kabehe kabhee jab insan kuch parh ke bhool jaye ki tech. ke hisab se kavita theek hai ya nahee paribhasha kya hai kavita aur bas mahsoos kare ke ankh nam hai to man lo kavita pooree utree hai har pareeksha main aisee hee hai tumahree kavita jo rula gayee bha gayee bahut wah
Anil

mere ashar ko mahoob samjh ke chhoomte the jo
kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai
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ek_wafa
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17th May 2006, 05:17 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by ranju bhatia
abb murjhane ki baari aayi thi
fiza gayi abb khiza ki baari aayi thi
dheere dheere mayus ho raha tha wo phool
jaise apni hi mazaar pe ro raha tha wo phool


dua mangta tha hawa chale kuch zor se
toot kar alag ho jaye wo ikk dor se
ajeeb sa dard jhel raha tha wo phool
jane kyun apne ghum se khel raha tha wo phool

bahut khub likha hai Wafa aapne...........dard ko bahut ho khubsurat andaz mein pesh kiya hai...........yun hi likhti rahe

with love

ranju

Ranju ji…

meri koshish aapko pasand aayi…mujhe acha laga…..yahan aane ke liye bahut shukriya

apna khayal rakhyiega

Aaina mujhse meri pehli si surat maange
   
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Re: kabhee kabhee
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ek_wafa
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Re: kabhee kabhee - 17th May 2006, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by masoomshayer
kabehe kabhee jab insan kuch parh ke bhool jaye ki tech. ke hisab se kavita theek hai ya nahee paribhasha kya hai kavita aur bas mahsoos kare ke ankh nam hai to man lo kavita pooree utree hai har pareeksha main aisee hee hai tumahree kavita jo rula gayee bha gayee bahut wah
Anil

Anil ji..

aaj meri kavita ne aapki ankhein nam kar di….kavita safal hui….aapke remarks bahut mayne rakhte hain mere liye….aap jaise bade shayar ki ankhein kisi kavita par nam ho jayen…toh kavita ka safal hona swabhavik hai….

….aap sath dete rahyiega..meri himmat bani rahegi….shukriya

apna khayal rakhyiega

Aaina mujhse meri pehli si surat maange
   
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