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madhoSH shaKHs
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Ghazal: 'Aaj' -
5th April 2003, 01:15 PM
is hafte ke jazbaat pesh haiN..
---
khoon tapak raha hai meri tasveer se aaj
maut milne ko aa rahi hai taqdeer se aaj
dil ro ro kar aaNsuuoN meiN doob gaya tha
aatma bhi bichaD rahi hai shareer se aaj
khuda se zindagi bhar ruTha raha maiN
na hai koii shikaayat mujhe laqeer se aaj
apne yaar ko yaad kar ke kehta hai 'aman'
aazaad hone laga huuN maiN *zanjeer se aaj
* = chain(s)
---
Aman ©
"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"
kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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hi -
5th April 2003, 02:06 PM
wah aman ji,
bohet khob likha ,
mujhe bohet pasand aaya ,kitna dard hai aapki poetry main ,
bohet hi acha likha ,
apne yaar ko yaad kar ke kehta hai 'aman'
aazaad hone laga huuN maiN zanjeer se aaj
bohet hi acha likha ,
aapke kis kis shair ki taareef kuron pori poem hi achi hai
likhte raheye
take care
wafa
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5th April 2003, 02:06 PM
Aman ji,
Kya jazbaat pesh kiye hai aapne janab,wah! sach mein hila kar rakh diya hai aapki is ghazal ne,khaas kar ke in 2 sheyron ne--
khuda se zindagi bhar ruTha raha maiN
na hai koii shikaayat mujhe laqeer se aaj
Wah kya baat kahi hai aapne,insaan ka ye waqt bhi aa jaata hai jab uske saare gile shikve duur ho jaate hai,kyonki gila karne se use kabhi kuchh haasil nahin hua hota..
apne yaar ko yaad kar ke kehta hai 'aman'
aazaad hone laga huuN maiN zanjeer se aaj
Agar ye sach hai ke aap aazad ho rahe hai,to hamari mubarakbad kabool keejiye , Lekin mujhe shak hai ke ye zanjeer shayad hamari umeed se zyada majboot na ho..
Nazrana pesh karne ka shukriya,
Varinder
kyon zindagi ki raah mein akele chalta hai dost
chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai...
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5th April 2003, 02:49 PM
aare.. sirji...
kya kahu kuch samaj nai aa raha hai ... app ki tareef.. ke liye .. har .. lafz.. ajj chota lag raha hai ayr .... sach mein .. ajj apne.. pura .. hilla kar rakh dia humein .. .bahut acchi likhi hai apne. .sirkar..... pata nai .. per dard... ka sailab.. tha.. ismein ...
hume... apki yeah .. gazal.. ki har line pasand aai.. har line .. ek dard ka ehsaas hai...
hope to get some more frm u ..
bye take care..
aur haan .. meine.. ek post bhej raha hun .. per pata nai kyu mujhe kahi na kahi woh adhuri lag rahi hai .. mera apse .. yeah nevedaan hai .. ke.. agar hoo sake.. too usse pura kar dene.. ka.. ek ehsaan hum pe kar dena..
thanx again..
Lamha Lamha...saSein Khatam hoo rai hai...
Zindagi Maut ke pehlu mein soo rai hai...
Us bewafa se na pucho meri maut ki wajah...
Woh to bus zamane ko dikhane ke liye roo rai hai...
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bahut dard hai -
5th April 2003, 05:41 PM
bahut dard hai aapki is ghazal mein..
padte hue aanson na sambhaal paayi..
~Priya
"Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum..
Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sirf Tanu Ki ChaahaT...... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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bahut dard hai -
5th April 2003, 05:47 PM
bahut dard hai aapki is ghazal mein..
padte hue aanson na sambhaal paayi..
~Priya
"Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum..
Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sirf Tanu Ki ChaahaT...... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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'dil se'
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Intense Pain -
5th April 2003, 06:47 PM
Hello Aman ,
From the first word , till the end .. I was just not able to feel myself. The poem had such an impact on me that I just fell in love with your creation. Har ek word se dard tapak ta hain. I feel very sorry for replying and writing that You have written really nice. Because ek Aap hain jinhe itna Gham hain aur ek Hum hain jo kehte hain "You have written Nice.".Hum aapke Gham ko baant to nahi sakte.I am really sorry..Please Humein galat mat samajhna..
-HamzaAli
It is true that Love is Magic...
But Magic may sometimes just be an Illusion...
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MriiGchiika
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Hellooo -
5th April 2003, 07:35 PM
Aman sahaab...
Namashkar
Fhir se ek dard se sarabor haqikat waaah sahaab kyaa baat hain...humari khushkismati hain ki ap ki baten hume padhne ko miltee hain...Kuch haq se kahana chahungaa ap ko pasaaan aaye tau hamari mehanat wasul hogee...gar nahi aaye tau hume maaf kare iis gusthaki liye....Sunju
MUUH SE UGLEN KOON, YEN KYAA KAAM THAA
JO AB BHII DHADKTE HO DIL MAIN USSI SHIDATA SE.... SuNjj
Last edited by sanjoo; 9th April 2003 at 03:39 PM..
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madhoSH shaKHs
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Thanks! -
6th April 2003, 12:37 AM
Wafa ji
aapne jawaab diya - izse baDi taareef kya ho sakti hai
shukriya!
Varinder saahab
aazaad to ho rahe haiN janaab, magar dard ki zanjeer se nahiiN - saaNsoN ki zanjeer se.
maiN aapka shukr-guzaar huuN jo aapne waqt lagaa kar mere jazbaatoN ka jawaab diya..
taareef, ohr waqt dono ka dhanyavaad!
Tanhai ji
ghazal pasand farmaane ka bahot bahot shukriya! khushi hui yeh jaan kar ki aap iska dard samajh paaye..
Chaahat (Priya) ji
aapke keemti ashqoN ko giiraana mera matlab nahiiN tha, is liye maafi chahta huuN..
magar aapko dard ka ehsaas hua, is baat ka shukriya
Hamza ji
I feel very fortunate to have people like you read, and also respond to my Ghazals. My pain is something that cannot be shared, so there is no use in facing difficulties. Although, just by having the satisfaction of knowing that someone has replied to my words is enough. It's not an essential to see praise, but I find myself very triumphant to see that someone is actually concerned.
Aapne waqt lagaa kar meri khairiiyat ke liye lafz baaNTe, is baat ka ehsaan maiN nahiiN bhooluuN ga.
Accept my gratefulness for appreciating my burden of strife.
Sanjoo saahab
nahiiN yaar, khush-kismat to maiN huuN jo aap jaise logoN ka saath milta hai!
aapne bahot khoob likha hai janaab, ohr is ghazal ke liye is kadar tak pasand ka izhaar dekh kar behad khushi hui..
ghazal pasand farmaane ka shukriya!
dostoN, aap sabne apna giraaN waqt lagaa kar mera hausla baDhaaya, ohr saath saath taareef karte hue dard ko bhi samjha..
maiN aap sabka shukr-guzaar huuN jo aap is taraH mera saath dete haiN! shukriya qabuul ki jiye..
aman
"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"
kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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6th April 2003, 02:44 AM
aman sahab, aap nay to buhut hi acha likha hay aaj
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madhoSH shaKHs
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6th April 2003, 02:52 AM
Thanks for taking the time to respond
I am glad that you liked it..
dhanyavaad,
aman
"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"
kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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hi -
6th April 2003, 02:56 AM
aman...likhna aur kehna to bahut kuch hai par aankhon se saf dikh nahi raha kyu ki aankhon me itne aansu hai mere aapke kalaam padhkar...kyu itna dard se tarap rahe o akele? saath bhhi dene nahi dete...kaise dost ho? ye bhi samajh nahi sakte ki tumhare dost ko dard hota hai...uska dil rota hai tumahre alfaaz itne dard bhare padhkar..aap is zindagi ki JANZEER SE ALAG HONA CHAHTE HAI AUR HAMARI TO ZINDAGO DOST AAPSE JUDI HAI...SHAYAD AAP KO MALUM NAHI HAI KI AAPKI ZINDAGI SE AUR KAYIYO KI ZINDAGI JUDI HAI...U MIGHT BE CAUSING THEM PAIN ..
KEHNA BAHUT KUCH HAI PAR KHAMOSH HAI LAB
BOL RAHI HAI ROTI AANKHAIN..SAMAJH SAKTE HO TO SAMAJH LO.
PRIYA.
Akhihaan milaake chan'na paavi na Judayi Vey .......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jisnu Lagey, ohi'yo jaane, Kaun Jaane peer parayi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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madhoSH shaKHs
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6th April 2003, 03:03 AM
Maafi chahta huuN..
yeh maqsat nahiiN tha mera, magar yeh dard nahiiN hota, to aap jaise humdard bhi nahiiN hote!
maut ko kaun rok sakta hai bhale? maiN bas taiiyaar huuN jaane ke liye, taakii baad meiN afsos na ho.
ghazal pasand farmaane ka shukriyah..
aman
"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"
kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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bahot khub -
6th April 2003, 02:59 PM
khoon tapak raha hai meri tasveer se aaj
maut milne ko aa rahi hai taqdeer se aaj
tumhaare ahesaas ki ghraai maie zindgi ki sachhai nazar aa rahi hai
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.. ek andaaz
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Location: lucknow , hindustaan
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6th April 2003, 08:25 PM
aman bhai
bahut achha likha hai ,aapke dard ka hum ehsas to nahi kar sakte
par use mahsoos kar sakte hain .. bahut achhi line likhi hai
khuda se zindagi bhar ruTha raha maiN
na hai koii shikaayat mujhe laqeer se aaj
keep it up .
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Ek Anjaan Shaks...
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ADaab Kabool Kijiye Aman Sahab -
6th April 2003, 10:46 PM
Salam janab kaisi mijaaz hain apke ?
Phir ek dafa apki tarif karcha chahinge mashalalh se apka kalaam parha hai bahut dil ka baha janab apse agey bhi hum yehi umeed rakhte hain ke ap is mehfil ko aise sajate raheinge inshallah.........
Aman ji ap jin payal ki baat kaar rahe hain woh ishiqa hain unka real name bhi payal hai unki birthday thi ji waise meri wife ka naam bhi payal hai is waja se ap thora ghalat fahimi ka shikaar ho gaye janab ab chalta hoon kaha suna maaf kijiyega kudha hafiz.........
EK ANJAAN SA DOST.........
SALMAN SHAIKH
Chal parin hain kashtiyaan samandar dur hai kinaara.....
in majon se puch lena kia haal hai hamaara....
______________________
Ashk bankaar woh mere chashm-e-tar main rehta hai....
ajeeb woh shaks hai jo pani ke ghar main rehta hai........
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madhoSH shaKHs
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7th April 2003, 01:43 AM
Meena ji
khush hua yeh jaan kar ki aapko iski gehraaii ka ehsaas hua..
jawaab ka shukriyaH!
Kshitiz saahab
taareef, ohr waqt ka bahot bahot shukriya!
Salman saahab
achcha.. ab samjha
waise janaab, ghazal pasand farmaane ka shukriyah.
jab tak ant nahiiN hota yaar, maiN likhta rahuuN ga..
ek baar phir se aap sabka shukriyaa'da karta huuN hausla baDhaane ke liye..
aman
"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"
kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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7th April 2003, 01:10 PM
Aman bhai,
aaj maine aapki ghajal padhi(Ghazal:'Aaj"). dil ko andar se chhu gayi. mujhe behad pasand aayi. uski har line mujhe pasand hai. aur main asha kerta hoon ki aage bhi aapki lekhani ke shabdo se roobru hota rahunga.
Akant...
*********
आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो...
AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho...
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hiiiiiiiiiiii -
7th April 2003, 05:40 PM
Hi, Aman ji,
Bahut achcha likha hai apne.
Par aap jyadatar mout ki baat kyu karte hai?
ye zindagi ek anmol tohfa hai bhagwan ka diya hua .
OK BYE .
TAKE CARE.
KEEP SMILING.
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kuch likhne ki koshish
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hi -
7th April 2003, 06:58 PM
aman ji.
kiya khoob dard byan kkiya hay ap ne
apne lafzon main.waqai dard ko khob biyan kiya hya
main ne first time aap ki koi post reda ki hya,shyad reply bhi bohat late ho aapki post se magar aaj redaki to reply kiye bagair rah na saka ,bohat hi khob likha hay,kis sher ki tareef karon har sher apne andar aik khon sa biyan liye hue hay,har sher apne andar aik anso ka katra liye hue hay,har sher nasha-e-gham se bharpor hay,bas ab or kiya kahin .tareef hoti jaye gi magar ,,,
its really grt
bye4 now
khan banjara''''
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7th April 2003, 07:30 PM
Bahut khoob likha hai aapne.
"apne yaar ko yaad kar ke kehta hai 'aman'
aazaad hone laga huuN maiN *zanjeer se aaj"
likhte rahiyega. Jai Mata Di
Doston...pyar ki baatain na karo
Guzare hain mohabbat main aise mukaam se
Nafrat si ho gayi hai mohabbat ke naam se
Jai Mata Di
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8th April 2003, 02:17 AM
Aman ji
sab se pehle,der se padhne aur jawaab likhne ki mafi chahti hoo.
pehle ki tarha is baar bhi sanjeedgi se puurii ki hai yeh gazal aap ne.
I liked it.
zeba
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madhoSH shaKHs
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8th April 2003, 05:36 AM
Akant bhai
aapko yeh behad pasand aayi, aur mujhe behad khushi hui!
maiN aapka mamnoon huuN jo aapne keemti waqt karch kar is pe kuch lafz baante..
shukriyaH qabuul ki jiye!
Pinky ji
aapne kaha hai ki "Zindagi ek anmol tofa hai bhagwaan ka diya hua"
magar meri soch kuch aise hai ki - maiN zindagi meiN kangaal aaya tha, ohr maut bhagwaan ka tofa ban kar mujhe mile gi..
log aksar mujhse puuNchte haiN iski wajjah, magar kya kahuuN? jis cheez se aakhir thokar khaani hai, woh cheez anmol kaise?
ghazal pasand farmaane ka laakh shukriyaH!
Banjara ji
aap is mehfil meiN naye haiN, is liye shyad meri ghazal pehli baar paDi hai -- magar, aapne paDii, ohr aapne paD kar pasand bhi karii.. is baat ka shukr-guzaar huuN maiN!
Dard ki Daastan ji
maaf ki jiye, maiN aapka naam nahiiN jaanta, is liye aapki I.D se pukaar raha huuN..
khushi hui yeh jaan kar ki aapko meri ghazal pasand aayi.. waqt, ohr taareef ka shukriyaH!
Zeba ji
thoDi dehr se paDii to kya hua, aakhir paDii to sahii
i am glad that you liked it, but please accept my gratitude for taking the time to share a few words.
Ek baar phir dostoN, maiN aap sab ka shukriyaa'da karta huuN..!
aman
"je tu akhiiyaaN de saamne naii rehnaa,
te bibba saada dil moD de..!"
kya karooN? aisa hi hooN maiN..
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8th April 2003, 09:27 AM
humein afsoso in ashkon ka nahi hai.. afsos to is baat ka hai.. ki humara ek dost bahut hi badi kash-ma-kash se guzar raha hai..
Best of luck
"Dikha kar khawaab in aankhon ko, De gaye aansoon in mein Tum..
Kaise chalka doo yeh aansoon, In mein bhi To rehTe ho Tum.."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sirf Tanu Ki ChaahaT...... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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8th April 2003, 10:52 PM
Aadab arz kerta hoo Ustad ji aapki khidmad me....
sabse pehle kaan pakadker maafi maangta hoo ki itni der se aapki post ko padha aur der se reply kiya....
Sach kahu to naye shabd nahi mil rahe hai aapki is rachna ki tareef kerne ke liye.... isliye yahi kaunga ki shabdo me tareef nahi ker sakta....
bohat hi zabardast likha hai aapne...
aankhe bhi nam ho gayi thi kuch der ke liye...
ise padhte wakt aisa lag raha tha ki jaise sab kuch saamne hi ho raha hai...
aur kya kahu ab....
khas taur pe aakhri do sher to zehen me sama gaye...
"khuda se zindagi bhar ruTha raha maiN
na hai koii shikaayat mujhe laqeer se aaj
apne yaar ko yaad kar ke kehta hai 'aman'
aazaad hone laga huuN maiN zanjeer se aaj"
bohat umda likha hai....
ek sher yaad aa gaya ise padhte wakt.... gustakhi maaf kariyega...
mukaddar ka auro se gila kya kerna
apni hi hatheli hai apni hi laqeereiN
ek baar fir se mubaraqbaad qubool kijiyega....
likhte rahiye aur muskurate rahiye
take care
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Kadeer ki...
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Ouch! -
9th April 2003, 02:05 PM
Ouch!
Kya apka har sher itna bedard hota hai?
ki halke se chho kar, gehra zakhm de jaata hai?
I must say, its one of the best I've read...
Tum chale jaaoge to sochenge... Humne kya khoya, humne kya paaya...
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hello -
28th May 2004, 04:23 PM
aap kaise hain aman ji,...aapki duseri purani ghazal padh raha hoon.. really its so beautiful...
ANKIT
Our sweetest songs are those
That tale of sadest thought....
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hi -
22nd June 2005, 05:09 PM
once again only Akant...
*********
आहट सी कोइ आये तो समझ लेना कि तुम हो...
AahaT si koi aaye to samajh lena ki tum ho...
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