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Registered User
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Posts: 124
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Junagadh, Gujarat
Rep Power: 15
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Tumko is baat ki khabar nahi shayad, -
23rd February 2011, 09:43 AM
Tumko is baat ki khabar nahi shayad,
Mera dil koi paththar nahi shayad,
Mil jaao tum mujhe isi zindagi meiN,
Mera koi dusra Janm nahi shayad,
Raah-e-Safar tak hi simiit thi,
Meri Kismat me manzil nahi shayad,
Paani dikhaake pyaasa chhod dete he wo,
Meri zindagi ki koi keemat nahi shayad,
Puchhata fir raha he dar-b-dar is tarah se,
Mere baare me use kuch khabar nahi shayad,
Rehmat ki baarish barsaai sab pe mere siwaa,
'Ravi' usne tujhe ek nazar dekha nahi shayad.
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Tanhaa Raahi
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Posts: 3,700
Join Date: Oct 2003
Rep Power: 54
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23rd February 2011, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravi
Tumko is baat ki khabar nahi shayad,
Mera dil koi paththar nahi shayad,
Matlaa bahut acchi lagi...!
Mil jaao tum mujhe isi zindagi meiN,
Mera koi dusra Janm nahi shayad,
Dusre misre agar yuN likhte to behtar hota shayad
Mera koi dusra janm idhar nahi shayad
Raah-e-Safar tak hi simiit thi,
Meri Kismat me manzil nahi shayad,
YahaaN ka dusra misra aisa ho sakta tha
Manzil paana meri muqaddar nahi shayad
Paani dikhaake pyaasa chhod dete he wo,
Meri zindagi ki koi keemat nahi shayad,
Dusra misra
Meri zindagi ki koyi kadar nahi shayad
Puchhata fir raha he dar-b-dar is tarah se,
Mere baare me use kuch khabar nahi shayad,
This one is good...!
Rehmat ki baarish barsaai sab pe mere siwaa,
'Ravi' usne tujhe ek nazar dekha nahi shayad.
Maqte ko iss tarha likhte to shayad thik rehta...!
'Ravi' usne tujhe dekha ek nazar nahi shayad
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It's just my opinion, Ravi Ji...!
Waise aap ne accha likhaa hai
Regards
Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai
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Anshumali
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 86
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23rd February 2011, 05:44 PM
Ravi Ji ! aapki tehreer ke ehsaas bahut khoob lage hume ... bahut accha likha hai aapne ... jaisa mushkil bhai ne aapke likhe ashaar ke dusre misre ke qafiye durust karke bataaya hai ... ispar par bhi aage gaur kariyega .... ghazal ka khayaal ke saath taknikii roop se likhnaa bhi zaroori hota hai .... usse ashaar aur khoobsurat lagte hai padhne meN ... !
aapki umdaa koshish aur khoobsurat fikr o khayal ko ... tahe dil se daad hazir hai ... aise hi aur behtar ehsaasoN ke saath aate rahen aur likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen ... !
duaaoN ke saath ... !
YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...
Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...
---Naresh Mehra----
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Shayri.com Moderator
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Posts: 10,551
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Location: INDIA
Rep Power: 59
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24th February 2011, 09:25 AM
Ravi jee:
namaste!
aik achChhi koShiSh... yuuNhi liKhate rahe.n aage bhee.. !
KhuSh raheN
duaaoN ke saath ijaazat
aapka
~Dhaval
*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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Posts: 8,417
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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24th February 2011, 10:00 AM
Bhaot khoob likha hai aapne Ravi jee... aapki kaavish aapke ehsaas mujhe behad pasand aaye... khayaalon ko yoon hi dusrust banaae rakkhen likhte likhte alfaaz bhi sawar hi jaaenge.. khush rahiye..
shaad...
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Talib-e-ilm
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Posts: 213
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NOIDA (U.P.)
Rep Power: 23
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24th February 2011, 10:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mushkil
It's just my opinion, Ravi Ji...!
Waise aap ne accha likhaa hai
Regards
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Ravi ji,
Namastey,
Ravi ji, mushkil sahab aap se aap ki gazal mein kafiey ki mistake ki taraf ishaara ker rahey hain, aur unhone aapke khyaalon ke ander rehtey hue hi jitna sudhaar ho sakta tha kerney ki koshish ki hai. mushkil ji ko anaarhi ki taraf se unki is koshish par salute hai k kisi ne to kadam badaaya is disha mein SDC par, aur agar khul k kehtey to aur ach'chaa hota.
regards
"Anaarhi"
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RooH Se RooH Tak
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Posts: 1,247
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 53
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24th February 2011, 10:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravi
Tumko is baat ki khabar nahi shayad,
Mera dil koi paththar nahi shayad,
Mil jaao tum mujhe isi zindagi meiN,
Mera koi dusra Janm nahi shayad,
Raah-e-Safar tak hi simiit thi,
Meri Kismat me manzil nahi shayad,
Paani dikhaake pyaasa chhod dete he wo,
Meri zindagi ki koi keemat nahi shayad,
Puchhata fir raha he dar-b-dar is tarah se,
Mere baare me use kuch khabar nahi shayad,
Rehmat ki baarish barsaai sab pe mere siwaa,
'Ravi' usne tujhe ek nazar dekha nahi shayad.
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ji bhaut sunder....................
Radhika
Seene Me Zakham Utarey Chale Gaye
Jo Humpe Guzari Guzarey Chale Gaye
Woh Aayega Ek Din Milne Humse
Naam Uska Hi Pukarey Chale Gaye
E-mail : radhika.nm2@gmail.com
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 32
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24th February 2011, 12:18 PM
Beautiful thoughts Ravi Saheb.........ek zabardast shayer banne ke saare masaale hai aapke pass.........bas kab kaunsa masala aur kitna masala use karna hai is par mehnat karni hogi.....
Jhoot kehdu yeh meri fitrat me nahi shamil
Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta...
Mob.: +971 501297654
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Aapki dost
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Rep Power: 57
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24th February 2011, 12:59 PM
Ehsaas bohat acche hain ravi sahab............................
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Registered User
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Posts: 124
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Junagadh, Gujarat
Rep Power: 15
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24th February 2011, 05:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mushkil
It's just my opinion, Ravi Ji...!
Waise aap ne accha likhaa hai
Regards
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Jii Bahot Bahot sukriya Mushkil jii,,, mene ye aise hi likhi thi,, mujhe grammar aur behr aisa kuch nahi aata,, Aapne jo suggestion diya wo bahot hi achcha he,, Fir se Sukriya,,
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 124
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Junagadh, Gujarat
Rep Power: 15
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24th February 2011, 05:54 PM
Sukriya sabhi dosto jo aapne mera likha padha,,Sukriya,,,,
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