|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN...(Ghazal) -
28th September 2006, 07:17 AM
aadaab aur SSA dosto
kuch arsaa qabl maine ek qitaa post kiya tha jo ke kaafi dinoN se zehan meiN karvateiN le raha tha....usii behr aur zamiin meiN ye Ghazal kehne ki koshish ki hai.....
mulai'zaa kijiye :-
mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN
uski baateN , gulaab ki baateN
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
kaun sunta hai yaar duniya meiN
humse khaana kharaab ki baateN
hum gareeboN se puuch kar dekho
aalam-e-izteraab* ki baateN
izteraab = ghabraahaT , anxiety
ya karo zikr unkii aaNkhoN ka
ya to jaam-e-sharaab ki baateN
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
Ghazal-e-"maikash" meiN aur hoga kya
dard-o-Gham aur sharaab ki baateN
apnii araa se zaruur nawaazeN
khair aNdesh
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
Last edited by maikasH; 28th September 2006 at 08:14 AM..
|
|
|
|
|
Adhoori Aas
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
|
Re: mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN...(Ghazal) -
28th September 2006, 08:05 AM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by maikasH
mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN
uski baateN , gulaab ki baateN
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
waah kya baat hai
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
kaun sunta hai yaaro duniya meiN
humse khaana kharaab ki baateN
hum gareeboN se puuch kar dekho
aalam-e-izteraab* ki baateN
izteraab = ghabraahaT , anxiety
ya karo zikr unkii aaNkhoN ka
ya to jaam-e-sharaab ki baateN
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
behad umda sher hai waah
Ghazal-e-"maikash" meiN aur hoga kya
dard-o-Gham aur sharaab ki baateN
janab maikash sahab
aadab
janab maine aapko jab se padna shuru kiya hai, aapli shayri main maine ek alag hi nasha paya hai.. ek ajeeb si kashish hoti hai aapki shayri main. or har sher behad umda hota hai. sabse sanjeeda baat jo mujhe nazar aati hai wo ye ki aapki gazal main ek rawangi hoti hai ek continuity hoti hai....
janab bahut hi behtreen gazal likhi hai aapne har baar ki tarah ek dam juda.......
dil se daad hazir hai janab kabool farmaiyega........
ek begana sa dost
dilip
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
Offline
Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
|
Re: mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN...(Ghazal) -
28th September 2006, 10:14 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab aur SSA dosto
kuch arsaa qabl maine ek qitaa post kiya tha jo ke kaafi dinoN se zehan meiN karvateiN le raha tha....usii behr aur zamiin meiN ye Ghazal kehne ki koshish ki hai.....
mulai'zaa kijiye :-
mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN
uski baateN , gulaab ki baateN
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
kaun sunta hai yaar duniya meiN
humse khaana kharaab ki baateN
hum gareeboN se puuch kar dekho
aalam-e-izteraab* ki baateN
izteraab = ghabraahaT , anxiety
ya karo zikr unkii aaNkhoN ka
ya to jaam-e-sharaab ki baateN
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
Ghazal-e-"maikash" meiN aur hoga kya
dard-o-Gham aur sharaab ki baateN
apnii araa se zaruur nawaazeN
khair aNdesh
maikash
|
maikash ji namaskar...!
bahut umda likha hai aapne, aapke ke likhney ka tareeka sab se alag hai, aapki rachna dil ko chu gaye. aur kuch share to bahut laajwaab lagey, jaise ki :
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
yu hi likhtey rahiye....!
aapki dost
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
|
|
|
|
|
Shayri.com Moderator
Offline
Posts: 10,551
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: INDIA
Rep Power: 59
|
28th September 2006, 11:33 AM
maikash ji """" KEM CHHO??????????""""
kaise ho janab aap?
pasand aaya bahot hi likhga hua
bas aise hi likhte rahiye janab aapko padhna achha lagta hai
aapka dost
dhaval
*~*Dhaval*~*....Ek Ehsaas...
|
|
|
|
|
shayri is my life
Offline
Posts: 1,938
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Punjab(Phagwara)Now:(California) USA
Rep Power: 33
|
hi -
28th September 2006, 11:54 AM
ya karo zikr unkii aaNkhoN ka
ya to jaam-e-sharaab ki baateN
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
Ghazal-e-"maikash" meiN aur hoga kya
dard-o-Gham aur sharaab ki baateN
janaab sandhu sahib sat sri akaal ji.....
appki gazal hai ya heera koi tarasha hua,
andhere main chehra nazar aane laaga raat ka......
jab kabhi chalti hai teri kalam bekhudi main,
wo waqt hota hai lafzon se misre ki mulakaat ka......
janaab jiyada to nahi kahounga bass yahi kehta hoon ki appki kalam yu hee rawa rahe or hum pyaso ki pyaas bhujati rahe.......take care........raj.......
un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
|
|
|
|
|
Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
|
Re: mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN...(Ghazal) -
29th September 2006, 02:50 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
aadaab aur SSA dosto
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
|
Maikash ji
aapke is sher ne dil pe kya qehar kiya hai batana mushkil hai ... bohat hi umda gazal ko mera salaam...
aap apna khayal rakhiye
aapka apna
Kunal
KunaaL (Sifar).........
Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa..
Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 3,896
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: currntly : Italy and ( home'town : Jaipur )
Rep Power: 33
|
29th September 2006, 08:43 PM
pranam maikash ji.
kaise hai aap...........
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
kya maikash ji aap to maikhane ka divala nikalvaoge........... Unhi agar hissab ki baten aap kal par chhodne lage to koi sakhi aapko jam nahi degi sochlijiyega janaab.
Un to aapne ye line bahot achhi likhi hai ,sachchi.
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
Tauba tauba !! maikash ji ki gazal. Ye thhoda sa funny laga. Maffkijiye ise funny bolne ke liye, lekin jo laga bol diya. jo nahi laga vo kaise bol den hum.
hum gareeboN se puuch kar dekho
aalam-e-izteraab* ki baateN
janaab aapne bhi apna naam ''maikash'' soch samajh ke rakha. har baar sharaab ka jikar. wah wah....
ab thhodi tariff bhi karni chahiye aapki, aapne bahot achha likha hai. mujhe to bas tarif me yahi kahana ata hai. bas mein isi kadar achhe kalaam ki tarif karti hu.
ab agar aapko kuchh bura laga to dant lijiye saath me hume gustakhi ke liye maaf bhi kar dijiyega.
ab hum ijajat chahenge ji aapse......apne is khoobsoorat gazal se iss mehafiil ko roshan karne ke liye shukriya ji.
ok ji bye bye
graze
aapki dost
pooja
===========Deepika=========== Pyaar Hai Yaa sazaa ayi mere Dil bataa Toot'ta Kyu.N naHi.N Dard Kaa Silsilaa
|
|
|
|
|
Humanity
Offline
Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
|
29th September 2006, 08:58 PM
mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN
uski baateN , gulaab ki baateN
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
bahut khoob janaab...
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
kaun sunta hai yaar duniya meiN
humse khaana kharaab ki baateN
kya baat hai...
hum gareeboN se puuch kar dekho
aalam-e-izteraab* ki baateN
ya karo zikr unkii aaNkhoN ka
ya to jaam-e-sharaab ki baateN
whaaa... bahut khoob...
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
Ghazal-e-"maikash" meiN aur hoga kya
dard-o-Gham aur sharaab ki baateN
Kya baat hai.... bahut hi khoobusrat aashaar hain...
Dear Maikash bhai,
Adaab, kaise hain? Ummeeed hai sab acche se hoga....
Bahut hi khoobsurat aur asardaar ghazal likhi hai aapne... padhakr bahut hi accha laga... meri daad kubool kijiyega... isi tarah likhte rahiye... khayal rakhiyega apna...
Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
Re: Re: mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN...(Ghazal) -
30th September 2006, 04:31 AM
[QUOTE] Originally posted by dilip200
[B]
Quote:
Originally posted by maikasH
janab maikash sahab
aadab
janab maine aapko jab se padna shuru kiya hai, aapli shayri main maine ek alag hi nasha paya hai.. ek ajeeb si kashish hoti hai aapki shayri main. or har sher behad umda hota hai. sabse sanjeeda baat jo mujhe nazar aati hai wo ye ki aapki gazal main ek rawangi hoti hai ek continuity hoti hai....
janab bahut hi behtreen gazal likhi hai aapne har baar ki tarah ek dam juda.......
dil se daad hazir hai janab kabool farmaiyega........
ek begana sa dost
dilip
|
aadaab miyaaN
aapne apna qeemati waqt kharch kiya is haqeer si Ghazal pe tabsiraa karne ke liye , bada maskhuur huuN aapka
bhai koshish to yahi rehti hai ke wazam meiN she'r kahuuN, aapko Ghazal ravaaN lagii samajhiye mujhe meri mehnat ka silaa mil gaya
aapki daad sar aaNkhoN par saahab aur izzat afza'ii ke saath saath hauNslaa badhaane ke liye mera shukriya alag se qabuul farmaaiye
ummiid hai aayiiNda bhi aapka saath milta rahega
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
30th September 2006, 05:39 AM
sunita jee
namashkaar
ye aap jaise dosto ki murravat hai jo itna hausla badhaate haiN, aapko mere sukhan meiN nayapan nazar aaya, jaan kar achcha lagaa, koshish karta huuN ke urdu ke mushkil alfaaz baratne se parhez karuuN aur jitna ho sake wazan meiN kehne ki koshish karuuN
aapne Ghazal ke chaNd ash'aar khusuusan pasaNd farmaaye, behadd shukurguzaar huuN aapka
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
30th September 2006, 05:43 AM
dhaval bhai
jai shri krishna
bhai manne gujrati nathi aavde chhe...!!
mere ek bohat ache dost ka naam bhi dhaval hai, ahmedabad se hai aur aaj kal london meiN hai uska sirname barot hai, aapse baat karte hue uski yaad aa jaati hai
maiN khairiiyat se huuN aur ummiid hai ke aapke mijaaz-e-giraami bhi ba'kahir hoNge
Ghazal ki pazira'ii ke liye shukriya qabuul kijiye saahab
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
|
2nd October 2006, 04:36 AM
sir, kaise hain aap? umeed hai khairiyat se hi honge.........
rahi baat kalaam ki, to yakeenan bahut hi umda kalaam hai.aur har aasaar pukhta hai khud me.bahut hi aam lafzon me bahut kuch keh raha hai ye kalaam............
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,814
Join Date: Nov 2003
Rep Power: 27
|
3rd October 2006, 12:30 PM
Maikash Sahib...
Aap tau jo bhi likh dein...seedhe dil pe chot hoti hai...yeh kalaam bhi saaf, saada aur khuub asardaar raha...yoon tau saare ashaar ek se ek badhkar hain...lekin ek sher ko baar baar padhne ko jee chahaa...
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
Waah! Bus is sher ne tau jaan hi le lee...phir se hamari mehfil sajaane ke liye bahut bahut shukriyaa...
nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho
mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho
--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
5th October 2006, 08:39 AM
rajveer saahab
Sat Sri Akaal
aapko ye haqeer si Ghazal pasaNd aayi yeh mere liye khushi ki baat hai, koshish karuNga ke aa'iiNda bhi aapki ummiidoN par khara utar ke dikhaa sakuN
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
Re: Re: mehke mehke shabaab ki baateN...(Ghazal) -
7th October 2006, 09:08 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by sacccha_pyar
Maikash ji
aapke is sher ne dil pe kya qehar kiya hai batana mushkil hai ... bohat hi umda gazal ko mera salaam...
aap apna khayal rakhiye
aapka apna
Kunal
|
miyaaN aapka ye bayaan padh kar yuuN lagaa goya aap aur maiN ek hi marz ke sataaye hue haiN
aapka salaam tasleem hazrat
bohat shukriya
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
........
Offline
Posts: 24
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: US
Rep Power: 0
|
9th October 2006, 09:01 AM
_/|\_ Sat Shri Akal Veer ji
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
Jinki yaad hai dil mein nishaani ke tarah.....vo bhool gaye humiN kahani ki tarah..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ishq aakhda eh tera kakh reheN ve nai dena, chup reheN ve ne dena, tay kuch keheN ve nai dena.
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
18th October 2006, 10:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ekanjaan
_/|\_ Sat Shri Akal Veer ji
usko khona tha baat kismat ki
uska milna hai khwaab ki baateN
|
Sat Sri Akaal
baaqi gallaN baad wich, pehlaaN eh dasso ke tusi aine din rahe kitthe....?
maiN keha si ke mainu khabar zaruur karna jadoN UK aao taaN, tusaaN saar vi nai layi......
veer da haal chaal vi puchhnoN gaye hun te......!!!
khush raho
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
........
Offline
Posts: 24
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: US
Rep Power: 0
|
31st October 2006, 10:50 AM
Sat Shri Akaal _/|\_
Jis din thwadi eh bhen apne pyare veer nu phul jaaye ge, oh din meri zindagi da aakhri din hove ga. Asi UK aan da zikar thwanu email vich tay offline ve keeta se, Lakin thwada koi jawab nai aaya. Fir soochiya ke shyaad veer he apni bhen nu bhul gaya hove ga...
email zaroor karna...
Thwadi shoti bhen
Jinki yaad hai dil mein nishaani ke tarah.....vo bhool gaye humiN kahani ki tarah..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ishq aakhda eh tera kakh reheN ve nai dena, chup reheN ve ne dena, tay kuch keheN ve nai dena.
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 43
Join Date: Oct 2006
Rep Power: 0
|
Salaam..... -
1st November 2006, 12:50 AM
Beauiful Shayris.........keep On Posting
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 875
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: udaipur
Rep Power: 35
|
1st November 2006, 10:41 AM
Fantastic.....!!!
jitni baar padha jaye... utna man karta hai!!! Maikash sahab .. Sir jukaate hai aapki kalam k Dabaar mein!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
7th November 2006, 06:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pooja4588
pranam maikash ji.
kaise hai aap...........
achcha huuN jee, shukriya
aaj dil khol kar pilaa saaqi
kal kareNge hisaab ki baateN
kya maikash ji aap to maikhane ka divala nikalvaoge........... Unhi agar hissab ki baten aap kal par chhodne lage to koi sakhi aapko jam nahi degi sochlijiyega janaab.
Un to aapne ye line bahot achhi likhi hai ,sachchi.
apni apni samajh ki baat hai mohtarma
bewafaa keh rahe haiN vo humko
tauba tauba !! janaab ki baateN
Tauba tauba !! maikash ji ki gazal. Ye thhoda sa funny laga. Maffkijiye ise funny bolne ke liye, lekin jo laga bol diya. jo nahi laga vo kaise bol den hum.
funny to ye kisi bhi angle se nahiiN hai, aapko kyoN laga ye baat meri samajh se baahar hai
hum gareeboN se puuch kar dekho
aalam-e-izteraab* ki baateN
janaab aapne bhi apna naam ''maikash'' soch samajh ke rakha. har baar sharaab ka jikar. wah wah....
is she'r meiN sharaab ka zikr nahiiN hai ab iss se mere takkhallus ka kya waasta ??
ab thhodi tariff bhi karni chahiye aapki, aapne bahot achha likha hai. mujhe to bas tarif me yahi kahana ata hai. bas mein isi kadar achhe kalaam ki tarif karti hu.
badi mehrbaani hai jee, yeh khairaat bhi qabuul hai
ab agar aapko kuchh bura laga to dant lijiye saath me hume gustakhi ke liye maaf bhi kar dijiyega.
kya baat karti haiN, buraa kaahe lagega ? nahiiN lagaa, khaatir jamaa rakhiye !
ab hum ijajat chahenge ji aapse......apne is khoobsoorat gazal se iss mehafiil ko roshan karne ke liye shukriya ji.
aapka bhi bohat shukriya
ok ji bye bye
graze
aapki dost
pooja
|
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
|
|