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Ghazal: maut mazaa legi doobe ko phir doobone ka... |
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(#1)
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'Bismil'
  
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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Ghazal: maut mazaa legi doobe ko phir doobone ka... -
1st December 2010, 10:24 PM
aadaab dosto,
aek ghazal abhi abhi likhi hai jo yahaan pesh kar raha hun..umeed hai aap apni aara se zaroor nawazenge kuu-a-kuu sunta hun maY shor kisi ke rone ka aaina hi bas muayyid ab hayaat mere hone ka ilm hai, kismet meiN hai to koi kya le jaayega! darr hai gardish meiN par kismet ko khone ka ishq koi khel nahi ki bas khel liya aur ho gaya! aik sa nahi, dil tuutna aur tuutna kisi khilone ka zindagi hai jo garq-e-bahr-e-fanaa ho chali hai aur maut mazaa legi doobe ko phir doobone ka kabhi door rehte the ahal-e-sharaab se “Bismil” ab maikhaane meiN kiya hai intezaam sone ka? Pradhyuman - Bismil gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#2)
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Registered User
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Posts: 791
Join Date: Sep 2010
Rep Power: 31
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2nd December 2010, 01:21 AM
Quote:
aadaab kaise hain aap ? aap ki ghazal nazar nawaz huyi parh kar ek ajeeb saa ehsaas jaagaa aaj pahlee baar kisee ek lafz pe chaonknaa paraa jabki doosraa samajh se baalaa tar hai lafze ,,mowai"yid ,,, ye to khaalis arbi lafz hai mere khiyaal se shaayad kisee qadeem shair ne ise bartaa ho ham asr shoraa me koi nazar nahi aataa ki ise barat rahaa ho maa sewaa nacr me kiun ki us me in jaise alfaaz ki kacrat hotee hai ,, haan ittefaaq se mujhe kisee saahab ne deewaane chirkeen hadiyah kiyaa to mujhe ehsaas huwaa ki wo shakhs apne fan ka imaam thaa agar un ke mafhoom se alag hat kar sirf sheree fan aor lesaaniyaat ki baat ki jaaye to choti ke shair chirkeen ke areeb qareeb bhi nahi phatakte jabki doosraa lafz ,, kuu .a. kuu ,, hai ye lafz main samajh nahi sakaa agar aap is ki tashreeh kar den to badaa achha hogaa ghazal ke ashaar cheekh cheekh ke eylaan kar rahe hain ki aap jadeediyat se kaafee nuta"ccir nazar aa rahe hain yahee sabab hai ki jaa bajaa aap ke khiyaalaat nayi uftaade taba ki jaanib ishaarah karte hain alfaaz ki bunat bhi aisee hai ki use choom liyaa jaye main tahe dil se aap ko daad w tahseen pesh kartaa hun mukhlis masood hassaas |
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(#3)
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Anshumali
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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2nd December 2010, 02:34 AM
ilm hai, kismet meiN hai to koi kya le jaayega!
darr hai gardish meiN par kismet ko khone ka Bahut Umdaa Soch Ke Saath Kaha Hai Aapne Yeh Khayal .... Pradhyuman Ji ! Baakii ghazal ke bhi ... sabhi ashaar bahut khoobsurat bane hai ... Tahe dil se daad hazir hai ... aise hi umdaa khayaloN ke saath aate rahen aage bhi .. khush rahen ... Rep ++++ Added ! apna khayal rakhen ... duaaon ke saath ...  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#4)
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Registered User
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Posts: 748
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Location: new york U.S.A.
Rep Power: 28
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2nd December 2010, 06:49 AM
Bismal ji yeh shair bahut khoob raha
kabhi door rehte the ahal-e-sharaab se “Bismil” ab maikhaane meiN kiya hai intezaam sone ka? bahut khoob bas yuN hi likhte raho meray yaar. rajinderseep |
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(#5)
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RADHE RADHE
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Posts: 4,115
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: DELHI
Rep Power: 58
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2nd December 2010, 12:38 PM
Quote:
radhe radhe bahut khoob likhte hain aapn ek ek ashar dil ko choo raha hai daad kubul karen duaon ke saath Aapka Apna Ishk 'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है email: rkm179@gmail.com 
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(#6)
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Banned
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Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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2nd December 2010, 02:02 PM
ishq koi khel nahi ki bas khel liya aur ho gaya!
aik sa nahi, dil tuutna aur tuutna kisi khilone ka ye sher bahut acha hai bhayee keep writing |
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(#7)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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3rd December 2010, 10:58 AM
Masood sahaab aadaab,
hum to khairiyat se haiN..aap janaab ke kya haal hai? kuu .a. kuu to aasaan hi shabd hai..lagta hai aap taang kheench rahe haiN shayad  kuu maane street to kuu-a-kuu maane from street to street..haan gar yeh matlab nahi to phir aap hi kuch roshni daale aapki daad tahe-dil se kubool hai..aise hi honsla badhaate rahiyega..god bless aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#8)
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Banned
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Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
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3rd December 2010, 11:09 AM
Quote:
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(#9)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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3rd December 2010, 08:03 PM
Quote:
kuu.a.kuu bhi kahin to padha hi tha..jaisa maine kaha uska matlab hota hai from street to street..ho sakta hai galat hun... gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#10)
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Rep Power: 31
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3rd December 2010, 09:50 PM
Quote:
adaab yaar kabhi aap ne mujhe dekhaa hai ki yahaan kisee ki bhi taang kheenchi ho main sachhe dil se kah rahaa hun ki lafz meree samajh me nahi aayaa thaa kiun ki aap ne us lafz ko ghaalt likhaa hai lafz hai ,,, koo ba koo,, jaisee sher hai parveen shaakir ka koo ba koo fail gayi baat shanaashaayi ki us ne khushboo ki tarah meree pazeeraayi ki koo ba koo farsee lafz hai koo mana galee ba ke kai mana aate hain se me saath aor qasam ke mana bhi aate hain jaise bakhodaa me ba ke maane qasam ke hain jabki koo ba koo me ba ke maane me hai yaani galee dar galee aap se baat kar ke achha lagaa aor yaqeen karo yaar main ne sirf seekhne ke liye poochha thaa ab baat saaf ho gayi to main ne us ko tafseel se bataa diyaa kush rahen doa dete rahen masood hassaas |
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(#11)
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masttt...
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Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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4th December 2010, 12:43 AM
pradyuman bhai,
bahut achhi lagi aapki ghazal... dil ko ik sukoon sa mila padh kar... daad qubuul kijiyega...aur ye do sher to bahut hi badhiya lage... zindagi hai jo garq-e-bahr-e-fanaa ho chali hai aur maut mazaa legi doobe ko phir doobone ka kabhi door rehte the ahal-e-sharaab se “Bismil” ab maikhaane meiN kiya hai intezaam sone ka? Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi.... vikramjethi@gmail.com |
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(#12)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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4th December 2010, 05:15 PM
Naresh ji,
tahe-dil se shukraguzaar hoon aapka ke is nacheez ki koshish ko saraahaa..aage bhi aapke pyaar aur honslafzai ki umeed rahegi.. aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#13)
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,722
Join Date: Dec 2010
Rep Power: 37
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4th December 2010, 08:01 PM
badee tez tarraar ghazal rahee aapkee bismil. khayal aur bayaan donon hi acchhe lage. dheron daad aur duaon ke saath ... zarra
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(#14)
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Registered User
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Posts: 26
Join Date: Nov 2010
Rep Power: 0
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4th December 2010, 10:28 PM
Bismil bhai, bahut badiya qalaam hai ... Maqta pe to waah nikli ... Bahut badiya ... yunhi likhte rahein ...
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(#15)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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8th December 2010, 02:38 PM
Quote:
bahot bahot shukriya sher pasand karne ke liye..aage bhi aapki hounslafzai ki umeed rahegi.khush raheN aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#16)
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'Bismil'
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Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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11th December 2010, 01:31 PM
Quote:
aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#17)
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,849
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 32
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11th December 2010, 02:17 PM
kuu-a-kuu sunta hun maY shor kisi ke rone ka
aaina hi bas muayyid ab hayaat mere hone ka Kuu-a-kuu dekh kar main bhi thoda chauka tha, qke Kuu-ba-kuu to suna hua tha par kuu-a-kuu kabhi suna nahi tha, typo error bhi ho sakta hai. Aur jaha tak muayyid ki baat hai, mujhe nahi lagta urdu lughat me aisa koi lafz hai waise arbi lafz ka istemaal kaha tak jayez hai urdu ghazal me yeh alag subject hai. Yeh sher pasandeeda raha mere bhai....... ishq koi khel nahi ki bas khel liya aur ho gaya! aik sa nahi, dil tuutna aur tuutna kisi khilone ka Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#18)
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'Bismil'
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Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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11th December 2010, 06:52 PM
Quote:
sher pasand karne ke liye shukriya..janaab kuu-a-kuu typo error nahi tha.. meri kam ilmi hai bahot kuch seekhne milta hai jab aap jaise dost apni raaey dete hain..aur yakeen maaniye aise hi ghazal likhne ka silsila chala aa raha hai..vikas ji and masood sahaab ne bhi yehi baat kahi hai...aur iss post ke zariye unka bhi shukriya adaa karna chahta hun yeh sher mera pasandidaH hai tamaam ghazal mein..gar aap ehsaasoeN par bhi kuch kehte to acha lagta mujhe..kyunki aapke woh last waale comment "waahhh waahhhh wahh mehfil saamne hote to gale se laga leta" uss ke hangover meiN hun abhi kuu-ba-kuu sunta hun maY shor kisi ke rone ka aaina hi bas muayyid ab hayaat mere hone ka gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#19)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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12th December 2010, 12:21 PM
Quote:
sher pasand karne ke liye behad shukriya...aapka saath yunhi bana rahe yehi umeed hai..aaj kal kuch sahi nahi likh paa raha..shayad thoughts ko rest dene ki bahot zaroorat hai... ek request hai aapse..isse pehle ek ghazal likhi thi..har roz meiN sdc pe aake ek bacche ki tarah aapke comments dhundhta rehta tha...magar phir socha shayad aapki nazar naa padi ho uspar..to please apne raey iss par bhi de dijiyega gar aitraaz na ho to.. http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthr...144#post414144 god bless.. aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#20)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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21st February 2011, 09:05 PM
Vikram bhai, shahiq ji aur zarra sahaab,
aap sab ko mera pyaar bhara namaste.. ghazal padhne aur pasand karne ke liye behad shukriya aapka.. yunhi saath dete rahiyega.. god bless..khush aur aabaad rahiye.. aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#21)
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Tanhaa Raahi
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Posts: 3,700
Join Date: Oct 2003
Rep Power: 54
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23rd February 2011, 05:29 PM
Quote:
Duaaon ke saath Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai 
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(#22)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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30th July 2011, 05:41 PM
Quote:
aapka dost, Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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