Vikas bhai,
der se reply karne ke liye maufi chahunga...sabse pehle to yeh bata dun ki maiN iss ghazal ki taqti karne ki aukaat nahi rakhta... na mujhe abhi behr ka itna ilm hai.. gungunaane se gar theek lagta hai to likh deta hun..halaaki yeh ghazal to gungunaai bhi nahi jaa rahi thi to behR mein to hai hi nahi.. aap ise kharij hi kar dijiye..agli baar jo likhunga thoda meter ka dhyaan rakh ke likhne ki koshish karunga.
phir bhi ek koshish zaroor kar raha hun...seekhne ki..
ise hi pakad kar chalta hun..itna aata nahin to galtiyaan bata dijiyega..
222 2 121 2 12
Naa 2 maz 2 hab 2 kaa 2 na 1 jaa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
Par 2 taa 2 lib 2 dee 2 ni 1 yaa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
pehle "naa" ko lambaa bhi taan sakte hai? flexible nahi hai?
ik 2 qis 2 sah 2 il 2 ti 1 faa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
ik 2 mud 2 daa 2 ih 2 ti 1 yaa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
maslaa aise nahi kahaa jaa sakta? mas 2 laa 2 ? aam boli mein to beech waala "a" khaa jaate hain..
Naa 2 maiN 2 ra 2 ha 2 na 1 khau 2 f 1 e 2 khu 1 da 2
aur 2 khu 2 daa 2 hi 2 ha 1 yaa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
yahaan "rahaa" ko do tareeke se kahaa gaya hai..pehle misre mein 2 2 aur doosre misre mein 1 2..sahi hai ki nahi aap hi bataa dijiye..
sher ke maaine yeh hai ki..jab mujhme "main" nahi raha to khuda ka khauf bhi nahi raha..kyunki mujhme jab "main" nahi rehta to mujhme khuda hi to hayaat hai..ye rabt hai
222 2
12
1 2 12
Beh 2 taa 2 pat 2 ta 2, soo 2 kha 2 ek 2 ta 1 raf 2
yeh to behr se out hai..magar kya chal sakta hai isi soorat mein yeh sawaal hai..kyunki do baar 1 1 ko ek baar 2 nahi keh sakta
Doo 2 ba 2 mann 2 jo 1 bar2 saa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
yeh to totally out hai mere hisaab se..magar mere hisaab se kya hota hai..koi jaankaar hi bataa sakta hai
lam 2 haa 2 lam 2 haa 2 bas 2 de 2 kha 2 ki 1 yee 2
phir wohi sawaal hai....222 2 121 2 12 meter mein 222 2 22 2 12 kehna kya waajib hai?
jo 2 ar 2 saa 2 mu 1 laa 2qaa 2t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
out.."jo" ko is tarah kahaa gayaa hai..stretch karke..jaisa aam bhasa mein bolte hai na "joo maze kiye"
bas 2 poo 2 chh 1 na 2 maai 2 ne 1 rakh 2 ta 2 hai 2
out
mu 2 jhe 2 gham 2 jo 2 bhi 1 baa 2 t 1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
mu ko phir stretch kiya hai aur bhi ko jaldi keh liyaa jaay to fit hota hai..
ul 2 fat 2 ka 2 na 1 hi 2 ho 2 ke 1 char 2 cha 2
out..
jis 2 maa 2 ni 2 taa 2 llu 1 qaa 2 t1 ka 2 ra 1 haa 2
ok
go 2 maan 2 ga 2 tab 2 hi 1 di 1 ya 2 mujh 2 pe 2
out
kar2 z2 te2 re2 eh1 saa2 naa2 t1 ka2 ra1 haa2
ok
sabse zyaada kya yaad aayega
wo2 jo2 haa2 l 1 shu 2ru 1aa2 t1 ka2 ra1 haa2
out
aaj 2 kal 2 ka 2 na 1 hi2 maiN2 be 2-taa 2 b1
out
aik2 sil2 si 1 laa2 jaz 2 baa 2 t1 ka2 ra 1haa2
out
aas 2 ka2 dum2 jo2 bha 1 raa2 to1 bis 2 mil 2
out
ab 2 in2 te 1zaa 2 r1 ni 1 jaa 2 t1 ka2 ra 1 haa2
out
aapka dost,
Pradhyuman