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beti zawaan hai meri............ |
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(#1)
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AN ILLUSION
  
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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beti zawaan hai meri............ -
27th January 2012, 12:19 PM
dosto, maloom nahee ye sabke saath hota hai ya sirf mere saath huya hai kuch ghazal likhee nahee jaatee,khud b khud ban jaatee hai.ye ghazal bhee kuch aisee hi hai.pichhle bahut dino se kuh nayaa nahee likh pa rahaa tha.
par aaj na jaane kya huya? khyaal ek ke baad ek aate chale gaye.aur dekhte hi dekhte ek ghazal taiyaar ho gayee. ummeed hai aap logo ko pasand aayegee.aapkee beshqimtee raay ka intazaar rahegaa............... is poori kaaenaat pe hai jisko ikhtiyaar. dairo haram men rah gaya wo hoke giraftaar. do bhaar meri buddhi kamar laadke chalee, betee zawaan hai meri betaa berozgaar. arsaa huya gareeb ka chulha jale huye, tum iski raakh men kabhi dhoondho nahi sharrar. ashqo lahoo milaane ka hai naam zindagi, haasil bada hi kam hai jee mehnat ki beshumar. daawa e ishq raah men aaya jo bah gayaa, par dekh ye rahaa hu ki daryaa men hai utaar. kya dhoom thee ki rango boo laayegi saath men, aate hi aik khar men par fas gayee bahaar. ham aaj kisi baat pe roye nahee "UFAQ", aate nahi hayaat men din aise baar baar. |
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(#2)
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Anshumali
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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27th January 2012, 01:45 PM
Quote:
BaDhiyaa Ghazal Huii Janaab ... Dilee Mubaaraqbaad !!!   YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#3)
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RooH Se RooH Tak
Offline
Posts: 1,247
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 53
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27th January 2012, 02:32 PM
Quote:
Radhika  Seene Me Zakham Utarey Chale Gaye Jo Humpe Guzari Guzarey Chale Gaye Woh Aayega Ek Din Milne Humse Naam Uska Hi Pukarey Chale Gaye E-mail : radhika.nm2@gmail.com |
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(#4)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,105
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Faisalabad
Rep Power: 34
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27th January 2012, 04:20 PM
dosto, maloom nahee ye sabke saath hota hai ya sirf mere saath huya hai kuch ghazal likhee nahee jaatee,khud b khud ban jaatee hai.ye ghazal bhee kuch aisee hi hai.pichhle bahut dino se kuh nayaa nahee likh pa rahaa tha. par aaj na jaane kya huya? khyaal ek ke baad ek aate chale gaye.aur dekhte hi dekhte ek ghazal taiyaar ho gayee. ummeed hai aap logo ko pasand aayegee.aapkee beshqimtee raay ka intazaar rahegaa............... Janab Uffaq Sb…….! Shayad Aap Ke Sath Aaj Pehli Baar Aisa Hua Hai……. Ke Ghazal Likhi Nahi Balke Khud Bakhud Ho Gai….. Agar Yehi BAat Hai To Aap ko Mubarak Ho Ke Ab Aap Ka Asl Safa Shuru Hua Hai…… Mere Sath Baarha Aisa Hua Hai…. Kabhi Kabhi Bethay Bithaye Na Chahtay Huay Bhi Na-janay Kia Hota Hai Ke Ghazal Ho Jati Hai Or Aisay Ashaar Ki Aamad Hoti Hai Jaisay Koi Likhwa Raha Ho Or Hum Likhtay Chalay Jaayen…… Isay Hee Aamad Kehtay Hain…Or Aisi Hee Ghazal Parhnay Ka Bhi Lutf Aata Hai…Kiuke Ye Dil Se Nikli Aawaz Hoti Hai Jo Seedha Dil Pr Hee Asar Krti hai….. is poori kaaenaat pe hai jisko ikhtiyaar. dairo haram men rah gaya wo hoke giraftaar. Hmmmmm…. Khooob Kaha Hai….. do bhaar meri buddhi kamar laadke chalee, betee zawaan hai meri betaa berozgaar. Wahhh Khubsurat Fikr…… Is KHayal Ko Dheron Daad…. Aik Baat … Aap Ne Lafz “Bhaar” Istemaal Kia Hai…. Mere Khayal Me Lafz “BAAR” Ya “Bojh” Hota Hai…. Aap Isay Baar Kr Len….Aap Isay Bojh Kr Len Ta-Ke Sab Ke Liye Samajhnay Me Bhi Aasaani Ho Or Lafz Bhi Theak Ho Jaye…. arsaa huya gareeb ka chulha jale huye, tum iski raakh men kabhi dhoondho nahi sharraar. Wahhh…. Maloom Hota Hai Aap Muashray Ke Is Muflisi Walay Pehlu Ko Boht Gehri Nazar Se Dekhtay Hain… Achi Fikr Hai Saheb…. Daad ashqo lahoo milaane ka hai naam zindagi, haasil bada hi kam hai jee mehnat ki beshumar. Ye Bhi Acha Hai Janab….. “Ashk-o-Lahoo” Lafz To KHoob Hai Magar Ye Dono Lafz Aik Sath Is Tarha Pehlay Sun’nay Me Kabhi Nahi Aaye…. daawa e ishq raah men aaya jo bah gayaa, par dekh ye rahaa hu ki daryaa men hai utaar. Wahhhh Ye Behtreeen Sher Hai…… Meri Taraf Se Daad kya dhoom thee ki rango boo laayegi saath men, aate hi aik khar men par fas gayee bahaar. Wah Wah Wah…. Ye Sher To Kamal Ka Hua Hai… Gehri Soch…. Dheron Daad ham aaj kisi baat pe roye nahee "UFAQ", aate nahi hayaat men din aise baar baar. Hmmmmm… Ye Bhi Khooob Hai…… Yunhi Likhtay Rahen……….. Khush Rahen… Mukhlis: AHMAD ALI SHAKIL Ay Chaara-Saaz Dil Pe M're Daal Ik Nazar Mujhko Bas Aik Jism Ka Aazaar Hee Nahi AHMAD ALI SHAKIL |
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(#5)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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30th January 2012, 04:42 PM
aadab , ahmad shakil sahab. sabse pahle to main aapka shukrguzaar hu ki aapne meree ghazal ko is had taq pasand kiya.
ahmad sahab jaisaa ki aapne doosre sher ke liye kahaa hai ki bhaar koi harf nahee hai to bhai bhaar hindi ka harf hai jiska matlab hai weight rahee baat bojh kee to ye negative word hai aur mere khyaal se bacche kabhee mata-pita par bojh nahee hote. bhai mere ilm men baar jaisaa koi harf nahee hai .meharbaani karke mujhe iskaa matlab bataa de taqi mere ilm men bhee kuch ijaafa ho jaaye. |
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(#6)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,105
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Faisalabad
Rep Power: 34
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30th January 2012, 05:23 PM
aadab , ahmad shakil sahab. sabse pahle to main aapka shukrguzaar hu ki aapne meree ghazal ko is had taq pasand kiya.
ahmad sahab jaisaa ki aapne doosre sher ke liye kahaa hai ki bhaar koi harf nahee hai to bhai bhaar hindi ka harf hai jiska matlab hai weight rahee baat bojh kee to ye negative word hai aur mere khyaal se bacche kabhee mata-pita par bojh nahee hote. bhai mere ilm men baar jaisaa koi harf nahee hai .meharbaani karke mujhe iskaa matlab bataa de taqi mere ilm men bhee kuch ijaafa ho jaaye Janab Uffak Saheb….! Aap Ne Kaha Ke “Bhaar” Hindi La Lafz Hai. Or Is Ka Maani Hai Weight…. Wazan…. Theak Hai Saheb…Itna TO Mujhy Maloom Hai… OPr Hamaray Yahan Punjaab Me Yehi Lafz “bhaar” Punjabi Me Istemaal hota Hai Or Is Ka Matlab Bhi wohi Hai jo Aap Keh Rahay Hain…. 2- Aap Ne Kaha Ke “ Bojh” Negative Sence Me Aata Hai To Chaliye Maan Letay Hain….. Magar “Bojh” Or Wazan Aik Hee Hain…… 3- Aap Ne Kaha Ke “Baar” Jaisa Lafz Aap Ke Ilm Me Nahi Hai……… To Chaliye Janab Hum Aap Ke Ilm Me Laaye Detay Hain….. BAAR: Asl Me Faarsi Zuban Ka Lafz Hai…URDU Me Asli Maani Or Asli Halat Me Hee Ba-tor-e-ISM Or Kabhi Kabhi Bator-e-Ism-e-Sift Istemaal Hota Hai….. Ab Main “ BAAR” Mukhtalif Maani Misaalon Ke Sath Aap ko Samjhanay Ki Koshish Krta Hun…. 1- Baar Ka Matlab Hai…. “ Garani, Wazan, Bojh…. Misaal: Us Ke Khoon Ki Qeemat So Baar Shutar Chhuhara Thi… Ye 1912 Me Istemaal Hua Tha…. 2- Is Ka Dusra Matlab Hai “ Bojhal Pann, Dabaao (Jo Tabiat Waghaira Pr Baar Ho) Gharz Ho Jo Zohra Pe Ghussay Ka Daar Na Sambhalay Nazakat Se Sakhti Ka Baar 3- BAAR Ka Matlab Hai “ Zimma-Daari, Kafaalat Aap Sila Rahmi Krtay Hain, Maqruzon Ka Baar Uthatay hain… 4- Baar Ka Maani Hai “ QARZ Is Jaayidaad Pr Bohat Baar Hai… 5- Baar Ka Matlab Hai “ Martaba, Dafa, Naubat Dunia Me Karorron Aadmi Hain Jo Aik Hee Baar khatay Hain. 6- Baar Ka Maani Hai “ Samaan, Asbaab ( Jo Laada Janay Wala Ho) Un Oonton Ka Baar Rastay Me Phaink Dia…. 7- Is Ka MAtlab HAi “ Nagawari, Andoh, Kulfat Baar Shadaayid Safar Apnay Uper Ziada Karna Aql-o-Daanish Se Door Hai…. Janab Uffak ji………..! Ummid Hai Aap Ab Baar” Ke Baray Me Jaan Chukay Hon Gay…. Aakhir Me Aik Baat Or Kahun Ga……… Jo Aap Ne “Bhaar” Istemaal kia Hai…. Wo bhi Theak Hai…. Us Ka Bhi Yehi Maani Hai…. Magar Hamaray Yahan Usay hee Baar” Boltay Hain… Baar-e-Gham ( Ghamon Ka Bojh) Baar-e-Gunah (Gunahon Ka Bojh) Aisay Hee Isay Mukhtalif Tareeqon Se Adaa Kia Ja Sakt aHai….. ALLAH PAAK Aap Ko Khush Rakhay……….. Yunhi Seekhnay Or Sikhanay Ka Silsila Jaari Rakhiye Ga Mukhlis: AHMAD ALI SHAKIL Ay Chaara-Saaz Dil Pe M're Daal Ik Nazar Mujhko Bas Aik Jism Ka Aazaar Hee Nahi AHMAD ALI SHAKIL |
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(#7)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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1st February 2012, 09:49 AM
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(#8)
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masttt...
Offline
Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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1st February 2012, 11:36 AM
Quote:
daad qubuul kijiyega uffaq saheb... Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi.... vikramjethi@gmail.com |
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(#9)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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2nd February 2012, 10:26 AM
Quote:
jee bahut -2 shukriya.......................................... .................. |
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(#10)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
Offline
Posts: 8,417
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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3rd February 2012, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Janaab Uffaq ki bazm me shaad ka aadaab... Waah kya khooB likhte haiN aaap Masha Allah... Khudaara har misre me Aah niklii hai.... dard ka samunder agar main aapki is kalaam ko naam doon to ghalat na hogaa.. EhsaasoN ne Dil zaar zaar kar diyaa hai.. do bhaar meri buddhi kamar laadke chalee, betee zawaan hai meri betaa berozgaar. Is sher ko haasile ghazal samajhiye saab... Hamaari taraf se laakhoN daad peshe khidmat haiN.. quboool farmaaiye... Likhte rahiye... shukriyaa.. Shaad... |
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(#11)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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3rd February 2012, 10:33 PM
Quote:
aapka bahut -2 shukriya vikran sahib khush rahiye............................................ |
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(#12)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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4th February 2012, 04:04 PM
Quote:
...........................yu hee saath banaaye rakhiye aur hauslaa badate rahe...............................khush rahiye..................................ufaq |
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(#13)
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Banned
Offline
Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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5th February 2012, 02:25 PM
[QUOTE=uff ak;436169]dosto, maloom nahee ye sabke saath hota hai ya sirf mere saath huya hai kuch ghazal likhee nahee jaatee,khud b khud ban jaatee hai.ye ghazal bhee kuch aisee hi hai.pichhle bahut dino se kuh nayaa nahee likh pa rahaa tha.
par aaj na jaane kya huya? khyaal ek ke baad ek aate chale gaye.aur dekhte hi dekhte ek ghazal taiyaar ho gayee. ummeed hai aap logo ko pasand aayegee.aapkee beshqimtee raay ka intazaar rahegaa............... is poori kaaenaat pe hai jisko ikhtiyaar. dairo haram men rah gaya wo hoke giraftaar. aye haye..!!!! je baaat .............. behad kaamyaab matlaa hai bhayee one of my favt .. do bhaar meri buddhi kamar laadke chalee, betee zawaan hai meri betaa berozgaar. bhayee oolaa nahi acha lagaa khilaa nahi sher jis tarhaa ka saani hai ..... laad ke chali... means ye bhaar khud laadaa  hai..khair ignorable hai... par do bhaar ... ulajh sa raha hai... mere hisaab se oolaa hi hata do... saani bahut acha hai arsaa huya gareeb ka chulha jale huye, tum iski raakh men kabhi dhoondho nahi sharrar. khoob hai ... bas saani maiN ..... kabhi .... ki jagah are.. kar lo aur khilega sher arsaa huya gareeb ka chulha jale huye, tum iski raakh men are..... dhoondho nahi sharaar. ashqo lahoo milaane ka hai naam zindagi, haasil bada hi kam hai jee mehnat ki beshumar. saani bahut acha hai oolaa nahi jamaa iske saath .... isme kuch change na karo... seedha badal daalo ... daawa e ishq raah men aaya jo bah gayaa, par dekh ye rahaa hu ki daryaa men hai utaar. fir se saani bahut hi acha hai..... daryaa mai hai utaar ... ahaaa ahaaa kya dhoom thee ki rango boo laayegi saath men, aate hi aik khar men par fas gayee bahaar. nice nice ham aaj kisi baat pe roye nahee "UFAQ", aate nahi hayaat men din aise baar baar. bahut bahut acha matlaa hai yaar ... seedhaa thaaN karke dil pe laga ... bahut acha byaan hai do cheezeN bas kuch yun ho jaye to kaisa rahe  tum aaj kisi baat pe roye nahee ho fikr aate nahi hayaat men din aise baar baar. |
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(#14)
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Banned
Offline
Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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5th February 2012, 02:32 PM
do bhaar meri buddhi kamar laadke chalee, betee zawaan hai meri betaa berozgaar. Wahhh Khubsurat Fikr…… Is KHayal Ko Dheron Daad…. Aik Baat … Aap Ne Lafz “Bhaar” Istemaal Kia Hai…. Mere Khayal Me Lafz “BAAR” Ya “Bojh” Hota Hai…. Aap Isay Baar Kr Len….Aap Isay Bojh Kr Len Ta-Ke Sab Ke Liye Samajhnay Me Bhi Aasaani Ho Or Lafz Bhi Theak Ho Jaye…. pahle aapne bhaar lafz ko hi khariz kiyaa ... fir aapne kaha ki aapko pata hai .... samjh nahi payaa... fir aapne kaha ki baar lafz laga do taaki sab samjh leN ... lekin baar lafz to koe hi samjhtaa ho jis tarah aapne samajhaya hai... ki ye doosri zubaan ka lafz hai to kya ye sahi hai.... ? to fir sabke samjhne se kya matlab ... bhaari ...... to aap samjhte honge ... bhaar se bana hai .... mujhe lagtaa hai ye baar se kahi jydaa theek hai .. aap kya kahte haiN.. bojh se negitivity show hoti hai ... ufaq sahab ki bat se sahmat bhi hun ... dont mind .... just want to explore |
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(#15)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,724
Join Date: Dec 2010
Rep Power: 37
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5th February 2012, 02:51 PM
Uff ak ji ... Apki ghazal padhi ... Bila shubah ek behtareen kalam hai. Dard ke ek samandar se paar karaya hai padhne waale ko apney. Meri or se dheron daad apko.
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(#16)
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Tanhaa Raahi
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Posts: 3,700
Join Date: Oct 2003
Rep Power: 54
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12th February 2012, 03:39 PM
Iss acche kalaam ke liye hamare bhi daad qubool kareiN, Uff ak Ji...!
Maqte ke liye khaas daad...! DuaaoN ke saath Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai 
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(#17)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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16th February 2012, 04:19 PM
[QUOTE=janumanu;436565]
Quote:
daad o islaah ke liye aapka behad shukrguzaar hu, mere bhai............ khush raho aur yu hee meree thread par aakar mera hauslaa badaate raho |
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(#18)
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Registered User
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Posts: 70
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Kolkata ,WB .
Rep Power: 15
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16th February 2012, 07:36 PM
aapki ye ghazal mujhe beht pasand aayi
aisa nahin ki aapke saath pahli bar hua kai baar aise baatein dil mein to aati hai magar inte achhe andaz se bayan nahin hoti aapne vo kar dikhaya jo auroo sochte hain daad take care :-ek bujhaa hua dhumil palak jhapakte hi jo aankh se hu'aa ojhal woh lauT kar nahiiN aayaa gaye dinoN ki taraH
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(#19)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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18th February 2012, 10:01 AM
Quote:
daad ke liye aapka shukrguzar hu................... aage bhee saath banaaye rakhiye.............................. take care........................ |
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(#20)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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19th February 2012, 08:58 PM
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(#21)
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AN ILLUSION
Offline
Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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19th February 2012, 09:01 PM
Quote:
bahut -2 acchaa lagaa aapko apnee thread par dekhkar............... daad ke liye bahut -2 shukriya....................... khush rahiye.................. |
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