|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 16
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Now i m in delhi and i m frm jaipur
Rep Power: 0
|
judaai -
16th June 2009, 11:10 AM
dosto main doctor anurag pahli bar aapki mahfil me apni feelings rakh raha hu,,
main aapke jitna achha to nahi likhta bt jo b likha h wo aapke samne pesh kar raha hu,,
aap apna pyar mujhe denge to isse achha likh pau....
{dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti h!
char pal tumse dur rahne ka alam ye hai ki
jaan jism se nikalne ko hoti hai!
kaise kategi ye judaai ki ghadiya tere bina
halanki har pal tu mere sath hoti hai!
hokar tujhse dur, jana yah maine
meri khushi to tere sath hone se hoti hai!
dur hokr tujhse, jana yah tadfte dil ne
judaai ki tadaf to maut se bhi badtar hoti hai!
dur hokar mujhse, udaas tu bhi hai
teri udaasi ki khanak mujhe sunayi deti hai!
na ho tu udaas, meri udaasi hi kafi hai
mitane k liye udaasi ko
teri ek jhalak hi kafi hai!
na kar koshish pyar ki gahrayi jatane ki
teri aankho ki gawahi hi kafi hai...}
|
|
|
|
|
Na jaane kab tak....
Offline
Posts: 114
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 16
|
16th June 2009, 12:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daiman_diljale
dosto main doctor anurag pahli bar aapki mahfil me apni feelings rakh raha hu,,
main aapke jitna achha to nahi likhta bt jo b likha h wo aapke samne pesh kar raha hu,,
aap apna pyar mujhe denge to isse achha likh pau....
{dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti h!
char pal tumse dur rahne ka alam ye hai ki
jaan jism se nikalne ko hoti hai!
kaise kategi ye judaai ki ghadiya tere bina
halanki har pal tu mere sath hoti hai!
hokar tujhse dur, jana yah maine
meri khushi to tere sath hone se hoti hai!
dur hokr tujhse, jana yah tadfte dil ne
judaai ki tadaf to maut se bhi badtar hoti hai!
dur hokar mujhse, udaas tu bhi hai
teri udaasi ki khanak mujhe sunayi deti hai!
na ho tu udaas, meri udaasi hi kafi hai
mitane k liye udaasi ko
teri ek jhalak hi kafi hai!
na kar koshish pyar ki gahrayi jatane ki
teri aankho ki gawahi hi kafi hai...}
|
good attempt...very nice...keep writing
Thanks & Regards
Aapka
Tanha _dil
Duniya mein dard-e-dil ki dawa hoti to pee gaye hote
Zindagi itni aasaan hoti .....to jee gaye hote.
|
|
|
|
|
Na jaane kab tak....
Offline
Posts: 114
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 16
|
16th June 2009, 12:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daiman_diljale
dosto main doctor anurag pahli bar aapki mahfil me apni feelings rakh raha hu,,
main aapke jitna achha to nahi likhta bt jo b likha h wo aapke samne pesh kar raha hu,,
aap apna pyar mujhe denge to isse achha likh pau....
{dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti h!
char pal tumse dur rahne ka alam ye hai ki
jaan jism se nikalne ko hoti hai!
kaise kategi ye judaai ki ghadiya tere bina
halanki har pal tu mere sath hoti hai!
hokar tujhse dur, jana yah maine
meri khushi to tere sath hone se hoti hai!
dur hokr tujhse, jana yah tadfte dil ne
judaai ki tadaf to maut se bhi badtar hoti hai!
dur hokar mujhse, udaas tu bhi hai
teri udaasi ki khanak mujhe sunayi deti hai!
na ho tu udaas, meri udaasi hi kafi hai
mitane k liye udaasi ko
teri ek jhalak hi kafi hai!
na kar koshish pyar ki gahrayi jatane ki
teri aankho ki gawahi hi kafi hai...}
|
good attempt...very nice...keep writing
isi par kuch likhne ko dil kar raha hai....arj kiya hai..
dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti hai
Iljaam na laga hum par tu mohabbat ka
tujse hi seekha hai hamne ,bewafaai kya hoti hai.
Thanks & Regards
Aapka
Tanha _dil
Duniya mein dard-e-dil ki dawa hoti to pee gaye hote
Zindagi itni aasaan hoti .....to jee gaye hote.
|
|
|
|
|
Na jaane kab tak....
Offline
Posts: 114
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 16
|
16th June 2009, 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daiman_diljale
dosto main doctor anurag pahli bar aapki mahfil me apni feelings rakh raha hu,,
main aapke jitna achha to nahi likhta bt jo b likha h wo aapke samne pesh kar raha hu,,
aap apna pyar mujhe denge to isse achha likh pau....
{dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti h!
char pal tumse dur rahne ka alam ye hai ki
jaan jism se nikalne ko hoti hai!
kaise kategi ye judaai ki ghadiya tere bina
halanki har pal tu mere sath hoti hai!
hokar tujhse dur, jana yah maine
meri khushi to tere sath hone se hoti hai!
dur hokr tujhse, jana yah tadfte dil ne
judaai ki tadaf to maut se bhi badtar hoti hai!
dur hokar mujhse, udaas tu bhi hai
teri udaasi ki khanak mujhe sunayi deti hai!
na ho tu udaas, meri udaasi hi kafi hai
mitane k liye udaasi ko
teri ek jhalak hi kafi hai!
na kar koshish pyar ki gahrayi jatane ki
teri aankho ki gawahi hi kafi hai...}
|
good attempt...very nice...keep writing
isi par kuch likhne ko dil kar raha hai....arj kiya hai..
dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti hai
Iljaam na laga hum par tu mohabbat ka
tujse hi seekha hai hamne ,bewafaai kya hoti hai.
Thanks & Regards
Aapka
Tanha _dil
Duniya mein dard-e-dil ki dawa hoti to pee gaye hote
Zindagi itni aasaan hoti .....to jee gaye hote.
|
|
|
|
|
An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
|
16th June 2009, 02:20 PM
Good Doctor saheB..........
Achchi koshish hai sahi kaho to ahsaas bahut khoob likhe..........
Likhate rahiye nikhar aayenga...............
Yeh subject hi aisa hai kitna bhi likho is per kaam hi pad jata hai.....
Per aapke ahsaas is per wakai achche rahe...........
Khush rahiye.........
Likhate rahiye......
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 16
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Now i m in delhi and i m frm jaipur
Rep Power: 0
|
20th June 2009, 12:46 PM
thanks fr readng,,.
achha laga ki aapko pasand aayi,
aap theek kahte ho ye sbject hi aisa h,,
chalo umeed h nxt poem aapko aur pasand aayegi..
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 16
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Now i m in delhi and i m frm jaipur
Rep Power: 0
|
20th June 2009, 12:52 PM
thanks fr readng,,.
achha laga ki aapko pasand aayi,
aap theek kahte ho ye sbject hi aisa h,,
chalo umeed h nxt poem aapko aur pasand aayegi..
b happy..
|
|
|
|
|
Anshumali
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
|
20th June 2009, 04:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daiman_diljale
dosto main doctor anurag pahli bar aapki mahfil me apni feelings rakh raha hu,,
main aapke jitna achha to nahi likhta bt jo b likha h wo aapke samne pesh kar raha hu,,
aap apna pyar mujhe denge to isse achha likh pau....
{dur hua tumse to, jana judai kya hoti hai.
yaad aayi tumhari to, jana tanhayi kya hoti h!
char pal tumse dur rahne ka alam ye hai ki
jaan jism se nikalne ko hoti hai!
kaise kategi ye judaai ki ghadiya tere bina
halanki har pal tu mere sath hoti hai!
hokar tujhse dur, jana yah maine
meri khushi to tere sath hone se hoti hai!
dur hokr tujhse, jana yah tadfte dil ne
judaai ki tadaf to maut se bhi badtar hoti hai!
dur hokar mujhse, udaas tu bhi hai
teri udaasi ki khanak mujhe sunayi deti hai!
na ho tu udaas, meri udaasi hi kafi hai
mitane k liye udaasi ko
teri ek jhalak hi kafi hai!
na kar koshish pyar ki gahrayi jatane ki
teri aankho ki gawahi hi kafi hai...}
|
Dost ...aapki rachna mai ehsaas ache lage...padhkar acha laga...."judaai toh aansuon ka dariya hai...isme kabhi-kabhi bahut kuch beh jata hai..."
par aap ko isme behna nahi hai....hum chahate aap khush rahe ....aur bazm ki ronak bane rahe....aur acha likhe....
bahut achi koshish hai.....
aapka good name plz....
YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...
Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...
---Naresh Mehra----
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
|
|