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Nazm "raat bhar" -
9th November 2014, 06:17 AM
bahot achChhii nazm, daa..d Haazir hai.
Nazm ki ravaanii aur n'aani-angezi pasand aayii.
likhte rahiye , Zaraaa saahab!
(Shukriya Maikash saahab isay yahaaN lagaane kaa.
~B.G.M.
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9th November 2014, 03:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunita virender
dosto yeh mehfil aap jaise umda shayroN se haseen banti hai, aap sab bahut accha likhte hai, aap sabko padkar dil khush ho jata hai.... !
Zarra ji, aapka behad shukriya jo aapne yeh thread banaya hua hai
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Ji shukriya, aur aap ki hausla afzaayee se bhi bahaut sahara milta hai Sunita di
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:39 PM
aadaab Sunita di ..
ji waise koshish karna hi badi baat hai. aur har shayar kaheen na kaheen kisi had tak ek "perfectionist" hota hai. use jab tak koyee sher khud ko satisfactory na lage, wo us ko muqammal naheen karta, us ko duniya ke saamne naheen pesh karta. shayad yahi baat aap ke bhi saath lagoo huwee Sunita di. main is soch ko pooree tarah samajh sakta hoon, aur is ki bahaut qadr karta hoon. phir bhi, agar aap (ya koyee bhi member) kuchh "draft" form mein likh kar use is forum mein share karna chaahein just to get opinion or help or suggestion from members, to wo most welcome hai, par sirf agar wo member chaahe to.
chaliye, chhorhiye is baat ko ... kyunki jald hi ek naya lafz aane waala hai. ummeed hai ki wo thoda sa zyada "seedha" sa lagega aap ko aur aap ka ek umdah sher us lafz par padhne ko milega
apna saath yoon hi banaye. Hum sab ko us ki zaroorat hai !
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by masti
Shukriya zarra ji
Sdc par ye mera pasandida thread hai aur iski ek bohut badi wajah aap hain, aapse bohut seekhne ko milta hai aur apki saafgoi mujhe bohut achi lagti hai.
Yunhi humein sikhate rahiye.
Ek choti si koshish aur, aap sab bezhizhak ismein nuks bataiye mujhe acha lagega.
Nikhat.e.jaana se mehakti hain saanse meri
Mujhe ab gul.o.gulistaan ki zaroorat he nahi
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ji, bahaut bahaut shukriya aap ka Sarika ji. aap ki ek khaas jagah hai is bazm mein.
bahaut khoobsurat sher kaha aap ne ... waah !!!!!! nakhat e yaar se saanson ka mehekna!!!! waah!! bahaut khoob kaha ... Dheron daad !!
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by B.G.M.
do she'r lafz -nik'hat- par
kabhii jo nik'hat-e-zulf-e-nigaar aa'ii hai
fazaa-e-murdah-e-dil meN bahaar aa'ii hai
~Kausar Niyaazi
----------------------------------------------------
ab tak to nuur-o-nik'hat-o-rang-o-sadaa kahuuN
maiN tujh ko Chhuu sakuuN to Khudaa jaane kyaa kahuuN !
~Ahmad Nadeem Kaasmi
=================================================
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Is bazm mein aap ka khair maqdam karta hoon BGM sahab. aur waah kya umdah sher share kiye aap ne !! shukriya!! 2nd sher to mere dil o dimaagh mein permamnently bas gaya hai
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mast
Bahut sochaa ki is mehfil mein shirkat karuuN par itne umda sher dekhkar himmat nahi kar paaya..
aapke yeh lafz behad dilchasp hai bhai isliyee ek adnaa si gustakhi ke saath haazir hooN...
guzar gaya tha main teri gali se *bad-bakht aye humdum
nik'hat-e-yaar ne *makhmoor ko phir se bulaa liya
bad-bakht = unfortunate
makhmoor = intoxicated
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Aap ka yahaan aana bahaut achchha laga Mast bhai. Welcome !! Aur waah kya dhamaakedaar entry ki hai aaane!! Bahaut hi khoobsurat aur pur-asar sher!! Dheron daad aap ko !!!
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maikasH
B.G.M saahab, aadaab
Zarraa bhai ki jo nazm aapne talab ki hai voh aapki khidmat meiN haazir hai
raat bhar thandi thandi hawa jo chalee
soz-e-gham se charaaghaaN ye dil ho utha
lab pe aane lagee khud-ba-khud tishnagee
koyee naghma bhi hothoN pe khulne laga
kis qadar ghaibat-e-yaar khalne lagee
(soz = burning, ghaibat = absence)
yaad aaye puraane naye kuchh rafeeq
haadse kuchh puraane bhi yaad aa gaye
kuchh nayee ranjishoN ke naye waaqye
ab shikaayat bhi kis se kahaaN tak kareiN
jab puraane hoN khanjar naye haathoN meiN
dhooNdhtee reh gayeeN aaNkheiN chehra shafeeq
(rafeeq = companions, shafeeq = compassionate)
kis ke hone ka ehsaas hota hai ye
kis ko deti hai aawaaz tanhaaiyaaN
kis ke qadmoN ki aahat sunaayee si de
kaNpkapaatee si kis ki ye sargoshiyaaN
nak’hat-e-zulf kis ki hawa meiN urhe
kaun haule se hai uNgliyoN se chhuwe
paas kya door bhi tum naheeN ab rahe
ho raha phir hamaare ye kya darmiyaaN
(sargoshiyaaN = whisperings, nak’hat = fragrance)
ZARRAA
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bahaut bahaut shukriya Maikash bhai naacheez ke qalaam ko tawajjo dene ke liye
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by B.G.M.
bahot achChhii nazm, daa..d Haazir hai.
Nazm ki ravaanii aur n'aani-angezi pasand aayii.
likhte rahiye , Zaraaa saahab!
(Shukriya Maikash saahab isay yahaaN lagaane kaa.
~B.G.M.
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bahaut bahaut shukriya BGM sahab!! aap ki dariya dil pazeeraayee ka mashqoor hoon !!
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
waaaaaaaaahhhhhh!! Zarraa saab,
kya aaghaaz kiya hai..............
bahot khub.........
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Bahaut bahaut shukriya Aadeil bhai
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
waaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
Zarraa saab,
iis nazm ne toh iis bazm meN nak-hat failaa dii.....
yuN hii kuchh gauhar-e-yaktaa pesh karte rahiye.....
duaaoN ke saath
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Bahaut bahaut shukriya Aadeil bhai
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 03:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad'
ummdaah bahot shaandaar ppeshhkash Zarraa saahab.. waahh kyaa kahne.....
likhte rahiye
Shaad....
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Bahaut bahaut shukriya Shaad bhai
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 04:04 PM
Dotson ... Lafz "nik'hat" par khoobsurat qalaam keh kar is bazm ko mehkaane ka bahaut bahaut shukriya. Jin doston ne itni mohabbat se hausla afzaayee farmaayee hai un sab ka tah e dil se mashqoor hoon.
Jald hi naya lafz le kar haazir hota hoon.
Duaon ke saath
Zarraa
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 04:12 PM
Dotson ... Mehfil e Fusoon e Alfaaz ko phir se charaaghaan karne ki koshish mein hamara saath dene ka shukriya.
Is baar ka lafz aisa hai jis ka matlab to seedha aur saaf hai, magar maayne bahaut hi gehri.
Ye lafz hai TISHNAGI
Is ka literal meaning hai THIRST ya PYAAS
Is ke bahaut se figurative meanings hain, like Longing, Desire, Wish, Expectation, Craving etc ... Hasrat, Ummeed, Khwaahish, Chaah, Talab wagairah ..... depends on how it is used ... lafz ka jaisa istemaal kiya jaaye. Ye shayaron, aashiqon, maayooson aur sharaabiyon ka chaheta lafz hai Kehne ka matlab ye hai ishq mohabbat sharaab maayoosee wagairah se jude huwe mazmoon mein kaafi dekhe ko milta hai ye lafz. Lekin, is lafz koyee bandish naheen hai .... ye khoobsurat lafz mukhtalif andaaz mein apna jaadoo bikher sakta hai.
Ek aur related lafz hai TISHNA which means THIRSTY ya PYAASA. figurative meanings can be derived in similar fashion from lafz TISHNAGI.
Is baar hum in 2 alfaaz - TISHNAGI ya TISHNA - in mein se kisi par bhi shayari karenge.
Dekhte hain is 2 alfaaz par Ustaad Shora ke kuchh sher ...
TISHNAGI
shiddat-e-tishnagi meiN bhi ghairat-e-maikashi rahi
us ne jo pher li nazar maiN ne bhi jaam rakh diya
- ahmad faraaz
wo saamne haiN magar tishnagi naheeN jaatee
ye kya sitam hai ki dariya saraab jaisa hai
- ahmad faraaz
sukooN hai maut yahaaN zauq-e-justajoo ke liye
ye tishnagi wo naheeN jo bujhaayee jaatee hai
- jigar moradabadi
tishnagi hi tishnagi hai kis ko kahiye maikada
lab hi lab hum ne to dekhe kis ko paimana kaheiN
- majrooh sultanpuri
phir is ke baad humeiN tishnagi rahe n rahe
kuchh aur der muravvat se kaam le saaqi
- kunwar mahinder singh bedi "sahar"
TISHNA
phir mujhe deeda-e-tar yaad aaya
dil jigar tishna-e-fariyaad aaya
- mirza ghalib
ghair leiN mehfil meiN bose jaam ke
hum raheiN yooN tishna-lab paighaam ke
- mirza ghalib
saare rishte tishna haiN
kya maiN dariya lagta hooN
- jaun eliya
saaqi sabhi ko hai gham-e-tishna-labi magar
mai hai usi ke naam pe jis ke ubal parhe
- kaifi azmi
in 2 alfaaz par ghaur karne ka silsila hum agle 15 din tak yani 24th Nov midnight tak.
chaliye, intezaar kis baat ka hai. in 2 lafz ko apne khoobsurat aashaar mein udel kar apni ilm-e-shayari-o-zabaan ki tishnagi kuchh badha bhi lete hain aur kuchh bujha bhi lete hain
Dheron duaon ke saath
Zarraa
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 09:17 PM
"yeh waqt-e shaam, yeh tishna- labee, yeh Khaali jaam
hamaari haa’i lagaygii sharaab-Khaane ko"
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-? Shaa'ir
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9th November 2014, 11:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by B.G.M.
"yeh waqt-e shaam, yeh tishna- labee, yeh Khaali jaam
hamaari haa’i lagaygii sharaab-Khaane ko"
===============================================
-? Shaa'ir
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Waah waah waah !! Kya khoob sher !!!
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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9th November 2014, 11:34 PM
mar gaye tishnagi meiN dekh liya
aks tera jo aab meiN hum ne
- zarraa
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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10th November 2014, 04:37 AM
"maiN bul-Hawas nahiiN kih bujhaa'uuN gaa tashnagii
mere liye to uThti haiN maujeN saraab kii"
~AsGhar Gondavi
====================================a
Please note, yahaaN lafz -saraab- hai, "Shahaab" nahiiN
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10th November 2014, 12:06 PM
waaaahhh!!
sabhii dostoN ne kya khub nak-hat failaaii hai.... sabhii ke aashaar laa javaab rahe...
aur Zarraaji,
kya lafz pesh kiyaa hai is baar. sahii farmaayaa, tishnagii ko leke kaafi saare maani baahar aate haiN.... uske literal meaning se zyaada, ghazals me use figurative meaning meN hi istemaal kiyaa gayaa hai...
lijiye meri tarafse ek koshish....
khuun ban ke bah rahii jo zindagii ye zindagii
kyuN hai apnoN ke lahuu kii tishnagii ye zindagii
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
Last edited by aadeil; 10th November 2014 at 12:14 PM..
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10th November 2014, 12:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa
mar gaye tishnagi meiN dekh liya
aks tera jo aab meiN hum ne
- zarraa
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waaaahh!!
bahot khub, Zarraasaab....
aap ka fusoon hi kamaal hai kya khubsurti se misre bandhe haiN.... laa javaab... dheroN daad
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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10th November 2014, 12:09 PM
mazey le rahe ho meree tishnagee me
kahin bhul na jaanaa hamein dillagee me
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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10th November 2014, 12:11 PM
sar se tere girtaa hai jab aab-e-jamaalii* sa
tishnaa-labii ho kar mai.n badhtaa hoo.n alak** kii or
*elegant water
** tresses of hair (zulf)
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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10th November 2014, 12:13 PM
ummiid nasiim pe itnii ki sehraa.o.n me.n rahaa
tishna hi iis tarah daruun-e-naKHl* mai.n hua
*inside oasis
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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10th November 2014, 12:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
ummiid nasiim pe itnii ki sehraa.o.n me.n rahaa
tishna hi iis tarah daruun-e-naKHl* mai.n hua
*inside oasis
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wahhhh....aadeol bhai.............bahut kamaal ka likhte hai aap...daad hazir hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
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10th November 2014, 12:46 PM
raat bhar thandi thandi hawa jo chalee
soz-e-gham se charaaghaaN ye dil ho utha
lab pe aane lagee khud-ba-khud tishnagee
koyee naghma bhi hothoN pe khulne laga
kis qadar ghaibat-e-yaar khalne lagee
--Zarra ji
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
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11th November 2014, 04:54 AM
"aag paimaane meN mujh ko chaahiye pighlii hu'ii
tashnagi meri nahiiN hai sirf paani ke liye!"
~? Shaa'ir
==================================
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18th November 2014, 09:07 PM
LaboN ka rang-e-gulaab de de
Apna sara shabaab de de
Tashna mara kahaN phiruN maiN
Ab nazreN utha sharaab de de
Dekho mera chehra, ye aqs-e-sadaaqat hai
Iss duniya meN meri, pehchaan sharaafat hai
Duniya ke rasmoN se, anjaan meri duniya
Allah ka banda huN, Allah se nisbat hai
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2nd February 2015, 11:37 PM
Isey koi phir se shuru karo? Zarraa ji Kahan hai agar wah nahi aa pa rahe kisi karan wash toh please moderators yeh zimmedaari kisi aur ko sonpe.
Main apnI tarafse shaad ji aur Hassan ji ka naam suggest karna chahungi.
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18th November 2015, 01:57 AM
maana fusoon-e-gur hota ishq ye.
magar jis ko bhi hua hai use barbad kiya hai....
lela-majnu, shri-farhad sab ho gye fnah ishq me....
isne sachi mohabbat karne walon ka khan sath diya hai....
fusooN-ishq me mar gye dewane aksar....
aur be wafaon ko is baat ka ahsas bhi na hua hai...
maana fasooN-saaz h ishq jo ahmed.....
bewafai me bhi to fassoN-zaayee chupa hai..
chodo bhi ahmed ye ishq ki fasooN-kree ki baten
yhan har ek baat k piche ek matlab bhi chipa hai....
Kash k is jindgi me tumhari mohabbat ki roshni
aa pati.
Fnah ho jate tujhme hum parvana ban kar agar
tu mere liye shma ho jaati.
احمد.
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18th November 2015, 02:15 AM
bhut acha lga ye jankar k aap hume sikne me dilchaspi rakhten hain....
iske liye me tahe dil se aap ka shukriya kehna chahunga...
ye jo aapne therade start kiya hai ise mujhe kafi sikhne ko mila n inshallah agar aap logon ka sath rha to aage bhi sikhne ko milta rhega
i am new user pls jo bhi galtiyan hon mujhe bta dijiyega.....
humesha duaon k sath...
n aap ki duaon ka talbgar....
ahmed
Kash k is jindgi me tumhari mohabbat ki roshni
aa pati.
Fnah ho jate tujhme hum parvana ban kar agar
tu mere liye shma ho jaati.
احمد.
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18th November 2015, 10:53 AM
vo samne the ahmed to tashngi kese khtam ho jaati....
us k pass ane ne tasngi-e-ishq ko aur bhi bhda diya
Kash k is jindgi me tumhari mohabbat ki roshni
aa pati.
Fnah ho jate tujhme hum parvana ban kar agar
tu mere liye shma ho jaati.
احمد.
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Registered User
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Posts: 88
Join Date: Oct 2015
Rep Power: 9
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18th November 2015, 11:12 AM
Chodo bhi ahmed ye tashngi ki baaten....
Jo na tha mera na mera hua...
Kash k is jindgi me tumhari mohabbat ki roshni
aa pati.
Fnah ho jate tujhme hum parvana ban kar agar
tu mere liye shma ho jaati.
احمد.
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