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Adhoori Aas
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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23rd November 2008, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayank
dosto,
kyun na ek nayii Ghazal ki shuruaat kee jaaye!
matla Ahmad faraz jee ki Ghazal se hai.....
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
Radeef: aaye , qaafiye: sunaane, dukhaane...isitarah se, manaane, bahaane. dikhaane, bataane, uthaane , bulaane thikaane etc etc ka istemaal ho sakta hai...
behr hai 2122/1122/22
1)
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
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janab mayank ji
aapne ye behar de kar ab to is shayari ki silsile se hame to bahar hi kar diya lagta hai..... hame to behar kabhii aati hi nahi... ab kaise sher likhen.....
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
pasand aaye to rakhiye nahi to hata dijiye
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Aapki dost
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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24th November 2008, 04:52 PM
1st sher
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
2nd sher
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
(dilip)
3rd sher
Jhooti muskaan liye hooto.n per
hum se hamdardi jataane aaye..
(zainy)
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
Last edited by zainy; 24th November 2008 at 04:55 PM..
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Registered User
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Location: Shehr-e-Adab
Rep Power: 26
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24th November 2008, 08:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy
1st sher
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
2nd sher
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
(dilip)
3rd sher
Jhooti muskaan liye hooto.n per
hum se hamdardi jataane aaye..
(zainy)
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4th sher
Jo laga kar gaye the aag abhi
Khud hi woh aag bujhane aaye..............
Fezan
.
.
.
Koi Aisa Kamaal Ho Jaye Zindigi Be-Misaal Ho Jaye
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Moderator
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Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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3rd December 2008, 08:36 PM
1st sher
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
2nd sher
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
(dilip)
3rd sher
Jhooti muskaan liye hooto.n per
hum se hamdardi jataane aaye..
(zainy)
4th sher
Jo laga kar gaye the aag abhi
Khud hi woh aag bujhane aaye..............
Fezan
5th sher
pyar karne ke zamane aaye,
aa jao mausam suhaane aaye,
-sunita virender
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
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raat ki tanhaii
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Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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6th December 2008, 07:08 PM
mujhe ye gazal samajh nahin aa rahi....
aage kaise badaun???
dilip ji ke ikhe hue doosre sheer ki ddosri pankti to sahi hai par pehli pankti mein 5 se zyada shabd hain... isi tarah fezan ji ke dwara likhe sher mein bhi shabd zyada hain... kya is larah likhna sahi hai??? gustaaki ke liye maafi chahungi, par sirf mann ki shanka ko door karne ke liye ye sawaal likha....
agar aap sab is baat se sehmat hon to kya hum is gazal ki pehli aur teesri sher ko rakh kar wapas shuru kar saktein hain??? aur agar mujhe samajhne mein kahin galti hui ho to plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mujhe samjha dijiye...
bura na maniyega...
aapki
-nisha
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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7th December 2008, 11:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NISHA_VIRGO16
mujhe ye gazal samajh nahin aa rahi....
aage kaise badaun???
dilip ji ke ikhe hue doosre sheer ki ddosri pankti to sahi hai par pehli pankti mein 5 se zyada shabd hain... isi tarah fezan ji ke dwara likhe sher mein bhi shabd zyada hain... kya is larah likhna sahi hai??? gustaaki ke liye maafi chahungi, par sirf mann ki shanka ko door karne ke liye ye sawaal likha....
agar aap sab is baat se sehmat hon to kya hum is gazal ki pehli aur teesri sher ko rakh kar wapas shuru kar saktein hain??? aur agar mujhe samajhne mein kahin galti hui ho to plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mujhe samjha dijiye...
bura na maniyega...
aapki
-nisha
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nishe jee;
aap ke comments paDh kar achchha laga.. par aap jo words ke count ki baat kar rahe hai.n, woh hindi aur urdu ke Ghazalo.n me.n laagu nahii.n hota...... hindi aur urdu ki Ghazalo.n ke liye ek alag metrical pattern hota hai, jise ki behr/meter kaha jaata hai... words ki counting shayad 'haiku', sonnets waghere me.n applicable hota hai.........Ghazal aur nazm me.n nahii.n...... haalaki kuchh sher behr par nahii.n likhe gaye hai.n.......par koshish zaari hai...likhenge to aage kaamyaabi bhi zaruur milegii sab ko....
ummeed hai aap ki shanka duur ho gayii hogii...... aur aap bhi is me.n ab shirkar kar sakti hai.n.......
Mayank
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Registered User
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Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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7th December 2008, 11:55 AM
1st sher
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
2nd sher
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
(dilip)
3rd sher
Jhooti muskaan liye hooto.n per
hum se hamdardi jataane aaye..
(zainy)
4th sher
Jo laga kar gaye the aag abhi
Khud hi woh aag bujhane aaye..............
Fezan
5th sher
pyar karne ke zamane aaye,
aa jao mausam suhaane aaye,
-sunita virender
rooThne ka tha sabab bas itna
ki hame koii manaane aaye
-Mayank
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raat ki tanhaii
Offline
Posts: 582
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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8th December 2008, 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayank
nishe jee;
aap ke comments paDh kar achchha laga.. par aap jo words ke count ki baat kar rahe hai.n, woh hindi aur urdu ke Ghazalo.n me.n laagu nahii.n hota...... hindi aur urdu ki Ghazalo.n ke liye ek alag metrical pattern hota hai, jise ki behr/meter kaha jaata hai... words ki counting shayad 'haiku', sonnets waghere me.n applicable hota hai.........Ghazal aur nazm me.n nahii.n...... haalaki kuchh sher behr par nahii.n likhe gaye hai.n.......par koshish zaari hai...likhenge to aage kaamyaabi bhi zaruur milegii sab ko....
ummeed hai aap ki shanka duur ho gayii hogii...... aur aap bhi is me.n ab shirkar kar sakti hai.n.......
Mayank
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mayank jee..
samjhane ke liye bahut bahut shukriya....
aapki
-nisha..
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
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raat ki tanhaii
Offline
Posts: 582
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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8th December 2008, 05:29 PM
1st sher
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
2nd sher
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
(dilip)
3rd sher
Jhooti muskaan liye hooto.n per
hum se hamdardi jataane aaye..
(zainy)
4th sher
Jo laga kar gaye the aag abhi
Khud hi woh aag bujhane aaye..............
Fezan
5th sher
pyar karne ke zamane aaye,
aa jao mausam suhaane aaye,
-sunita virender
6th sher
rooThne ka tha sabab bas itna
ki hame koii manaane aaye
-Mayank
7th sher
ashko ki guzarish hai rab se
ab to woh hasane aaye
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
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Moderator
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Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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8th December 2008, 11:12 PM
1st sher
terii baate.n hii sunaane aaye
dost bhii dil hii dukhaane aaye
[ahmad faraz]
2nd sher
sada rahin jo dil ke kareeb hamarii
wo cheez puraanii dikhaane aaye
(dilip)
3rd sher
Jhooti muskaan liye hooto.n per
hum se hamdardi jataane aaye..
(zainy)
4th sher
Jo laga kar gaye the aag abhi
Khud hi woh aag bujhane aaye..............
Fezan
5th sher
pyar karne ke zamane aaye,
aa jao mausam suhaane aaye,
-sunita virender
6th sher
rooThne ka tha sabab bas itna
ki hame koii manaane aaye
-Mayank
7th sher
ashko ki guzarish hai rab se
ab to woh hasane aaye
8th sher
Hindu, sikh ka utaar chola,
aaj hum bhi 'EID' mana.ne aaye
-sunita virender
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
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raat ki tanhaii
Offline
Posts: 582
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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11th December 2008, 07:54 PM
chaliye ek aur gazal ka aagaz karte hain....
1st sher
Hamein ye gumaan ke chaha humein zamane ne..
Azeez sab ko the, magar zarooraton ki tarah...
(nm)
-nisha
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
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Registered User
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Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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16th December 2008, 04:47 PM
1st sher
Hamein ye gumaan ke chaha humein zamane ne..
Azeez sab ko the, magar zarooraton ki tarah...
(nm)
-nisha
2nd sher:
Sang un ke beeta ek umr bhi kuch lamho.n jaise
bin un ke bit raha har lamha muddato.n ki tarah
-Mayank
Last edited by Mayank; 17th December 2008 at 10:20 AM..
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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16th December 2008, 06:28 PM
1st sher
Hamein ye gumaan ke chaha humein zamane ne..
Azeez sab ko the, magar zarooraton ki tarah...
(nm)
-nisha
2nd sher:
Sang un ke beeta ek umr bhi kuch lamho.n jaise
bin un ke bit raha har lamha muddato.n ki tarah
-Mayank
3rd sher:
Toot kar chaha unhe,har lamha unhe yaad kiya
jazb-e-ishq bhi nibhaya humne ibaadaton ki tarah
_zainy
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
Last edited by Mayank; 17th December 2008 at 10:19 AM..
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Adhoori Aas
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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17th December 2008, 11:28 AM
1st sher
Hamein ye gumaan ke chaha humein zamane ne..
Azeez sab ko the, magar zarooraton ki tarah...
(nm)
-nisha
2nd sher:
Sang un ke beeta ek umr bhi kuch lamho.n jaise
bin un ke bit raha har lamha muddato.n ki tarah
-Mayank
3rd sher:
Toot kar chaha unhe,har lamha unhe yaad kiya
jazb-e-ishq bhi nibhaya humne ibaadaton ki tarah
_zainy
4th sher
bhatakate rahe dar-badar pyaar kii chaah me
Zindgii bita dii humne khana-badoshon ki tarah
Dilip
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Moderator
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Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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20th December 2008, 02:46 PM
1st sher
Hamein ye gumaan ke chaha humein zamane ne..
Azeez sab ko the, magar zarooraton ki tarah...
(nm)
-nisha
2nd sher:
Sang un ke beeta ek umr bhi kuch lamho.n jaise
bin un ke bit raha har lamha muddato.n ki tarah
-Mayank
3rd sher:
Toot kar chaha unhe,har lamha unhe yaad kiya
jazb-e-ishq bhi nibhaya humne ibaadaton ki tarah
_zainy
4th sher
bhatakate rahe dar-badar pyaar kii chaah me
Zindgii bita dii humne khana-badoshon ki tarah
-Dilip
5th Sher
tha mujhe aziz, esi liye uske zulm sahti rahi,
us bedard ne nibhai waffa nafrato.n ki tarah
-sunita virender
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.....Sunita Thakur.....
यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
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Registered User
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Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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28th December 2008, 03:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunita virender
1st sher
Hamein ye gumaan ke chaha humein zamane ne..
Azeez sab ko the, magar zarooraton ki tarah...
(nm)
-nisha
2nd sher:
Sang un ke beeta ek umr bhi kuch lamho.n jaise
bin un ke bit raha har lamha muddato.n ki tarah
-Mayank
3rd sher:
Toot kar chaha unhe,har lamha unhe yaad kiya
jazb-e-ishq bhi nibhaya humne ibaadaton ki tarah
_zainy
4th sher
bhatakate rahe dar-badar pyaar kii chaah me
Zindgii bita dii humne khana-badoshon ki tarah
-Dilip
5th Sher
tha mujhe aziz, esi liye uske zulm sahti rahi,
us bedard ne nibhai waffa nafrato.n ki tarah
-sunita virender
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chaliye, 6 shero.n me.n yeh Ghazal muqammal huii....... sabhi dosto.n ko jihone yahaa.n par shirqat kiya hai unhe mere taraf se tah-e-dil se shukriyah! ab ek nayee Ghazal ki baari hai...........
-Mayank
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Registered User
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Location: Khariar, Odisha
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28th December 2008, 03:07 PM
dosto,
Is baar ek gair-muraddif Ghazal ki shuruaat karte hai.n......Gair muraddif Ghazal, matlab jis Ghazal par radeef nahii.n hai, aur sirf qaafiye par Ghazal hai.........Ghazal ka matla Meer Taqi Meer saahab ki Ghazal se hai.....
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
qaafiya: jaana, Lagaana.
isi tarah, dikhaana, zamaana, fasaana, suhaana, manaana, sunaana, hansaana etc etc aap istemaal kar sakte hai.n
jo dost behr par likhana chaahe.n is ke liye behr hai:
Digital: 122/122/122/122
beHr.e.mutaqaarib, salim musamman
fa-oo-lun/fa-oo-lun/fa-oo-lun/fa-oo-lun
*****************************************
1)na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
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Adhoori Aas
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Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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29th December 2008, 07:29 PM
1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer] Mayank ji
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
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30th December 2008, 06:26 PM
[QUOTE=dilip200;322337]1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer Taqi Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
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raat ki tanhaii
Offline
Posts: 582
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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4th March 2009, 12:57 AM
1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer] Mayank ji
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
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Adhoori Aas
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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5th March 2009, 09:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NISHA_VIRGO16
1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer] Mayank ji
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
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5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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raat ki tanhaii
Offline
Posts: 582
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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7th March 2009, 01:06 PM
1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer] Mayank ji
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
Last edited by NISHA_VIRGO16; 7th March 2009 at 01:07 PM..
Reason: spell mistake
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Registered User
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Location: Khariar, Odisha
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8th March 2009, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NISHA_VIRGO16
1)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
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nisha jee, aap ka sher thoda sa haT kar hai
ab Ghazal is tarah hai..
1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
7)yeh dard-e-muahbbat nahii.n hai bhulaana
yehi hai merii zindagii kaa fasaana!
-Mayank
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Aapki dost
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13th March 2009, 07:30 PM
1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
7)yeh dard-e-muahbbat nahii.n hai bhulaana
yehi hai merii zindagii kaa fasaana!
-Mayank
8) Na nazrein milaana,na dil ko gaNvaana,
Khuda aashikon se tu humko bachaana
_ZAINY
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
Last edited by zainy; 13th March 2009 at 07:38 PM..
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Shehr-e-Adab
Rep Power: 26
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13th March 2009, 07:49 PM
[quote=zainy;339898]1)
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
7)yeh dard-e-muahbbat nahii.n hai bhulaana
yehi hai merii zindagii kaa fasaana!
-Mayank
8) Na nazrein milaana,na dil ko gaNvaana,
Khuda aashikon se tu humko bachaana
_ZAINY
9) Kabhi muskarana kabhi ruuth jaana
Teri in adaaon ka hun main deewana
--Fezan
.
.
.
Koi Aisa Kamaal Ho Jaye Zindigi Be-Misaal Ho Jaye
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Adhoori Aas
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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14th March 2009, 10:15 AM
arerererree
is gazal ko kahan tak kheenchne ka khyaal hai.
kahan ho mayank ji........
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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14th March 2009, 10:30 AM
are jaldi lapeto se koi nahiN to ye kaam maiN kar duNga...!! baad me na kehna muje...!!
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Aapki dost
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Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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14th March 2009, 10:47 AM
is ghazal ko 9 sher per kaise per kaise khatm kar sakte hain, chaliye main hi ek aur sher add kar deti hoon...
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
7)yeh dard-e-muahbbat nahii.n hai bhulaana
yehi hai merii zindagii kaa fasaana!
-Mayank
8) Na nazrein milaana,na dil ko gaNvaana,
Khuda aashikon se tu humko bachaana
_ZAINY
9) Kabhi muskarana kabhi ruuth jaana
Teri in adaaon ka hun main deewana
--Fezan
10)Na hasna na rona,khoye khoye rehna
Hamein kya huaa hai koi humko bataana
_ZAINY
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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~ Ek Ghazal ~
Offline
Posts: 1,454
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Rep Power: 32
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14th March 2009, 11:07 AM
Mien bhi ek add kar hee deti hoon...
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
7)yeh dard-e-muahbbat nahii.n hai bhulaana
yehi hai merii zindagii kaa fasaana!
-Mayank
[/B] 8) Na nazrein milaana,na dil ko gaNvaana,
Khuda aashikon se tu humko bachaana
_ZAINY
9) Kabhi muskarana kabhi ruuth jaana
Teri in adaaon ka hun main deewana
--Fezan
[B]
10)Na hasna na rona,khoye khoye rehna
Hamein kya huaa hai koi humko bataana
_ZAINY
11) Hamien aata nahi hal-e-dil kuch aise sunana
Gar samaj sako aankho.N se to hame.N bhi samjana
-Purvi
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Adhoori Aas
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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14th March 2009, 12:00 PM
ya khuda ye kya ho raha hai......
fir main hi nayi gazal shuru kar dunga but pls ab isme naye sher post na karen
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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14th March 2009, 03:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ek Ghazal
Mien bhi ek add kar hee deti hoon...
na sochaa na samajhaa na siikhaa na jaanaa
mujhe aa gayaa Khud_ba_Khud dil lagaanaa
[Meer]
2-
kaatii thiin kitnii tanhaai.yon main raate.n
ab aa gaya hai hame bhii akele muskuraana
-Dilip
3)
yeh raahe.n muhabbat ki aasaa.n nahii.n hai
kadam dar kadam tum sa.nbhal kar baDhaanaa
[Mayank]
4)
mukammal jaha.n ki guzaarish na karnaa
kahi.n jal na jae ye zalim zamaanaa..
-nisha
5)
fir mayooshii ki bate.n fir se wahi fasana
mere sath muskuraao chhodo bhii ab bahana...
Dilip
6)
thaam lo ye baahein,aa jao aagosh mein
main saath hun tumhare, jo chaho dard bhulana....
-nisha
7)yeh dard-e-muahbbat nahii.n hai bhulaana
yehi hai merii zindagii kaa fasaana!
-Mayank
[/b] 8) Na nazrein milaana,na dil ko gaNvaana,
Khuda aashikon se tu humko bachaana
_ZAINY
9) Kabhi muskarana kabhi ruuth jaana
Teri in adaaon ka hun main deewana
--Fezan
[b]
10)Na hasna na rona,khoye khoye rehna
Hamein kya huaa hai koi humko bataana
_ZAINY
11) Hamien aata nahi hal-e-dil kuch aise sunana
Gar samaj sako aankho.N se to hame.N bhi samjana
-Purvi
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lagta hai sab ne achchhi koshish kee hai, is kalaam me.n 12 jumle ho gaye hai.n. mere taraf se sab ko daad aur mubaaraq-baad.
-Mayank
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Registered User
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Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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14th March 2009, 03:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dilip200
ya khuda ye kya ho raha hai......
fir main hi nayi gazal shuru kar dunga but pls ab isme naye sher post na karen
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Dilip jee,
aap chaahe.n to aap shuruaat kar sakte hai.n
jaldi hi matla pesh keejiye
Mayank
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Adhoori Aas
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
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14th March 2009, 03:49 PM
shukriyaa mayank ji.
kal kisi baat per achanak ye lines niklin aur ek sher ban gayiin.
main chahta hoon usii per gazal ka aagaz kiya jaye.
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath......
" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab
Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 3,896
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: currntly : Italy and ( home'town : Jaipur )
Rep Power: 33
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14th March 2009, 07:45 PM
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath
Dilip Jii
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
Grazie
Pooja
===========Deepika=========== Pyaar Hai Yaa sazaa ayi mere Dil bataa Toot'ta Kyu.N naHi.N Dard Kaa Silsilaa
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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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15th March 2009, 03:02 PM
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
Mangu khudase kya ye to batade Kwahish
Mera to wajud hi juda hai teri zindagi ke sath
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~ Ek Ghazal ~
Offline
Posts: 1,454
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London
Rep Power: 32
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15th March 2009, 04:14 PM
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath
-Dilip Jii
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
-Grazie
Kab tak kare.N meri khwishe.N yunh tera Intezaar
Khatam na ho jaye zindagi koi tishnagii ke saath
-Purvi
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Registered User
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Posts: 835
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Shehr-e-Adab
Rep Power: 26
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16th March 2009, 10:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ek Ghazal
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath
-Dilip Jii
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
-Grazie
Kab tak kare.N meri khwishe.N yunh tera Intezaar
Khatam na ho jaye zindagi koi tishnagii ke saath
-Purvi
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Maine to apne dil mein basaya tha aapko
kyon khelte hain aap meri zindagi ke saath
-Fezan
.
.
.
Koi Aisa Kamaal Ho Jaye Zindigi Be-Misaal Ho Jaye
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raat ki tanhaii
Offline
Posts: 582
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: kolkata
Rep Power: 30
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1st April 2009, 10:51 AM
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath
-Dilip Jii
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
-Grazie
-Pooja
Mangu khudase kya ye to batade Kwahish
Mera to wajud hi juda hai teri zindagi ke sath
-Khwahish
Kab tak kare.N meri khwishe.N yunh tera Intezaar
Khatam na ho jaye zindagi koi tishnagii ke saath
-Purvi
Maine to apne dil mein basaya tha aapko
kyon khelte hain aap meri zindagi ke saath
-Fezan
filhaal to koi sher soojh nahin raha... par yahan ek sher ***** gaya tha to socha ise organise kar dun.... sabhi members se meri ek choti si guzarish hai ki jab bhi wo kisi gazal ko aage badaein, to plz apne se pehle sher ko uske likhne wale ke naam ke saath pehle copy karein fir apna sher post karein... aasha karti hun ki aapko meri baaton ka bura nahin laga hoga....
aapki
nisha
Go zaraa si baat par barsoN ke yaaraane gaye...
par itnaa to huaa, kuchh log pahchaane gaye...
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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10th April 2009, 02:02 PM
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath
-Dilip Jii
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
-Pooja
Mangu khudase kya ye to batade Kwahish
Mera to wajud hi juda hai teri zindagi ke sath
-Khwahish
Kab tak kare.N meri khwishe.N yunh tera Intezaar
Khatam na ho jaye zindagi koi tishnagii ke saath
-Purvi
Maine to apne dil mein basaya tha aapko
kyon khelte hain aap meri zindagi ke saath
-Fezan
tera rooTh jaana, jaanaa.n lagta hai aise
zindagii khafaa ho jaise zindagiii ke saath
-Mayank
Last edited by Mayank; 10th April 2009 at 02:23 PM..
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 33
Join Date: Mar 2003
Rep Power: 0
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22nd May 2009, 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayank
Badkismatiii aaii merii khudkismati ke sath
Shikwa karoon bhii kaise main zindgii ke sath
-Dilip Jii
KhwaaHishe.n laaKho.n hai.N puurii Hone Ke liye
Har KhwaaHish judi hai teri bandiGii ke saath
-Pooja
Mangu khudase kya ye to batade Kwahish
Mera to wajud hi juda hai teri zindagi ke sath
-Khwahish
Kab tak kare.N meri khwishe.N yunh tera Intezaar
Khatam na ho jaye zindagi koi tishnagii ke saath
-Purvi
Maine to apne dil mein basaya tha aapko
kyon khelte hain aap meri zindagi ke saath
-Fezan
tera rooTh jaana, jaanaa.n lagta hai aise
zindagii khafaa ho jaise zindagiii ke saath
-Mayank
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tuufaan chalte hain saath kashtii ke mere
dil ki lagii bhii lagi hai dillagii ke saath
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