|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
khalish.....(Nazm) -
19th October 2014, 06:08 AM
aadaab yaaraan-e-mehfil
maine pichhle 15-20 saaloN meiN Ghazal ke ilaawa mushkil se do-chaar nazmeN hi likhiiN haiN, yeh un meiN se ek hai, yeh nazm meri ziNdagi aur mere ehsaas-o-tajarbaat ke saath "jawaan" hui hai iska aNdaaza aapko har do misroN ke baad hota jaayega
8-10 saal pehle yahiiN post bhi ki thi lekin us post ke baad aane waale saaloN meiN is rudaad meiN kayi baab jamaa huye, uski mukhtsar suurat bazm ke hawaale kar raha hooN is ummeed ke saath ki shayad kisi kaam ki ho
mulaiiza kijiye :
mere khwaaboN ki jannat ka nazaara haiN teri aaNkheN
hujuum-e-Gham meiN khushiyoN ka ishaara haiN teri aaNkheN
yeh pech-o-kham jo zulfoN ka kabhi maathe pe lehraaye
jabeen-e-arsh pe goya GhaTaa kaali si bal khaaye
teri baateN haiN jaise chaaNd'nii ta'reeKh raatoN meiN
tabassum yeh tera jaise ki sehra meiN ho barsaateiN
tujhe har raNg har aNdaaz meiN maine hasiiN paaya
bohat haiN maahjabiiN dekhe kahiiN tujhsa nahiiN paaya
tu voh tasveer hai jiska mussavir* khud bhi hairaaN hai
tu kya hai khud naeeN tu jaan'ti, haaye!, itni naadaaN hai
*mussavir = Painter
mujhe yeh ilm hai tumne bohat sadme uThaaye haiN
tumhari zeest par haavi Gham-e-dauraaN ke saaye haiN
baRaa jee chahta hai tujhko baahoN meiN chhupa luuN maiN
tere har dard ko apne kalejey se lagaa luuN maiN
tere pairoN ke har kaaNTey ko palkoN se uThaana tha
tere har ashq ko mere laboN ne gul banaana tha
muhabbat tujhse hai "itni" ke maiN batlaa nahiiN sakta
tujhe maiN chaah to sakta huuN lekin paa nahiiN sakta
ummiidoN ke khilonoN se bhi dil behlaa nahiiN sakta
mujhe "ma'loom" hai jaanaaN!....maiN tujhko...... paa nahiiN sakta!
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
Last edited by maikasH; 19th October 2014 at 06:14 AM..
|
|
|
|
|
shayri is my life
Offline
Posts: 1,938
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Punjab(Phagwara)Now:(California) USA
Rep Power: 33
|
19th October 2014, 07:40 AM
Janaab sandhu saab sat sri akaal ji...thuaadi nazm parh ke inj jaapda c ke jiwe do misreya ch gal mukaa diti howe..bhut hii achi nazam ik adhoore pann da ehsaas karwandi hoii...bhut khub..Raj..
un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
19th October 2014, 04:28 PM
Sat Sri Akaal Rajveer saahab
bohat shukriya veer tuhaadi himmat-afzaii layi, aidaaN hi hauNslaa vadhaauNdhe raho
milde raha karo
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
~$uper M0der@tor~
Offline
Posts: 8,417
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
|
19th October 2014, 09:05 PM
Koi daad bhi is tahreer ki shaan me agar dena chahungaa to wo beshaq hi kam saabit hogii......
maikash bhai aapki ye adaa se to main yaqeenan mahroom raha ab tak.. aapne bahot accha kiya jo ise hamaare sath shhare kiyaa hai....
main bata nahi saktaa kya kya rang nazar aaye hain isme..... ghame jaana, ghame hastii.. soze dil, muhabbteN aur na jaane kya kyaa.....
madhoshii si chaa rahii hai bhai (khumaari ka kuch apta pataa nahii hai) faqat chadhta hi jaa raha hai.....
Waaahhhh bas waahh hi waahhhhhhhh.......
kalaaam hai ya kamaal.... bas isi baat ka faislaa nahi kar paa raha hoon.......
hai duaa ye rab se...... ye jalwaagaree yuNhi qaayam rahe bade bhai....... likhte raheN
Shaad...
|
|
|
|
|
An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
|
20th October 2014, 01:09 AM
Maikash jee Aadaab ... !
Arse baad aapki kalaam se rubaru huaa huN ... aur yaqeen janiye behad dil ko sukooN huaa is pur asar nazm ko paa kar ...
Unwaan e nazm "Khalish " par aapne jitne apne ahsaas O khayaal piroye hai dil ko lagne waale haiN ...
Har misre meiN bepanaaH mohobbat aur adhuri mohobbat ka gham saaf jhalak raha hai ...
MaiN itna koi shayar to nahiN ke haal e dil ka afsaana bayaaN karti is nazm ko daad se nawaazuN ... par janab is naacheez ki dili daad o mubbarakbad kabul kijiye ...
Likhte rahiye ... Shaad O aabaad rahiye...
Khuda Hafez ...
Last edited by kwahish; 20th October 2014 at 01:12 AM..
|
|
|
|
|
Main shayar to nahin.....
Offline
Posts: 2,795
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 50
|
20th October 2014, 06:37 AM
maikash bhai......bahut hee badiya kalaam likha hai aapne....ek alag andaaz dekhne ko mila aapka.....is kalaam jee jitni taareef kee jaye utni kam hai....
एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था
चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था
Arvind Saxena
Ph. No. 7905856220
|
|
|
|
|
Some Mirrors Lie...
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 44
|
20th October 2014, 10:14 AM
tu voh tasveer hai jiska mussavir* khud bhi hairaaN hai
tu kya hai khud naeeN tu jaan'ti, haaye!, itni naadaaN hai
MaikasH saahab,
Adaab-o-tasleemaat,
Us Mussawwir ki khoobsorat mussawwari ki tareef jis andaaz meiN aap ne kii hai..
waqai dil-nasheeN hai... dil meiN dabay armaan aur
khawaaishoN ka jo samandar thathay maar ke baahir aane ko koshish kar raha hai...
hu-ba-hu yeHi mehsoos hua ke abhi baahir ko aa paDay ga......
romaniyat ka naya roop dekha aap ke iss kalaam meiN saahab.
bohat ziyada lutf diya aap kii is be-panaaH haseeN nazm nay...!
Apna khayaal rakhiye ga,
Regards,
*hSn* : parStaar
tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad")
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
23rd October 2014, 04:22 PM
Shaad miyaaN aadaab,
amaa nazm itni acchi to nahiiN thi jiske ivaj aapne itni izzat se nawaaza aur is qadr dil khol kar hauslaa-afza'ii bhi ki
jaise ki maine uupar darj kiya hai maiN chacha Ghalib ki tarah Ghazal ka sudaaii hooN lekin kabh-kabhaar nazm bhi raqm kiye leta hooN albatta aisa koi bohat baar nahiiN hua hai, do-chaar mushkil se kahiiN hoNgii
aapki duaaoN , daad aur dariya-dilee ka behadd hi mashkoor wa mamnoon hooN bhai
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,718
Join Date: Dec 2010
Rep Power: 37
|
24th October 2014, 05:35 PM
Maikash Bhai ... Aadaab
Eke arsey ke baad aaj is mehfil mein daakhil hua to aap ki laajawaab purjamaal nazm ke deedaar huwe. Waah ! Ab daad bhi doon to kaise ? Alfaaz ki kami aarhe aa rahi hai. Ye nazm jitni dilkash lagi utni hi jigardoz bhi ! Kayee zindagaaniyon ke afsaane bayaan kar daale is khoobsurat qalaam mein aap ne ! Anginat daad aur mubaarakbaad qabool kijiyega !!!
Duaon ke saath
Zarraa
maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
30th October 2014, 06:26 PM
kwahish jee, aadaab arz hai
aapse mukhaatib hote hue dil "baaGh-baaGh" ho riya hai
jis aNdaaz se aapne mujh na ehl aur is haqeer si kaavish ki hauNsla-afzaaai ki hai be-zabaan ho gaya hooN
daad voh cheez hai jo shayar ki soch ke liye khuraak ka kaam karti hai, aapki daad-o-mubarakbaad sar maaThe, aapse guzaarish hai ke aage bhi yooN hi hauNsla badhaate rahiye, badi meherbaani
khush rahiye
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
30th October 2014, 06:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aru
maikash bhai......bahut hee badiya kalaam likha hai aapne....ek alag andaaz dekhne ko mila aapka.....is kalaam jee jitni taareef kee jaye utni kam hai....
|
bohat shukriya aapka aru bhai,
ta'reef us khuda ki, jisne "unheN" banaaya
pazi'raii ke liye mashkoor hooN aapka bhai
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Birha Tu Sultan
Offline
Posts: 1,810
Join Date: Aug 2001
Rep Power: 10
|
30th October 2014, 06:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan
tu voh tasveer hai jiska mussavir* khud bhi hairaaN hai
tu kya hai khud naeeN tu jaan'ti, haaye!, itni naadaaN hai
MaikasH saahab,
Adaab-o-tasleemaat,
Us Mussawwir ki khoobsorat mussawwari ki tareef jis andaaz meiN aap ne kii hai..
waqai dil-nasheeN hai... dil meiN dabay armaan aur
khawaaishoN ka jo samandar thathay maar ke baahir aane ko koshish kar raha hai...
hu-ba-hu yeHi mehsoos hua ke abhi baahir ko aa paDay ga......
romaniyat ka naya roop dekha aap ke iss kalaam meiN saahab.
bohat ziyada lutf diya aap kii is be-panaaH haseeN nazm nay...!
Apna khayaal rakhiye ga,
Regards,
|
Hassan saahab, aadaab
bhai aap ke aalaa darje ke nasr nigaar haiN aur aapke mohabbat bhare khat, daad-o-mubarakbaad ke liye shukriya adaa karne meiN paseeney paseeney hona paRta hai
nazm par apni pasaNdeedagi ki mohar lagaane ke liye iNtehaayi shukurguzaar hooN jee aapka
rab raakha
maikash
.........................................
is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai
maikash
...............................
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Offline
Posts: 3,851
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: karachi
Rep Power: 31
|
21st November 2014, 11:21 PM
brilliant maikash ji aik aik sher ke liye dil se daad qubul karain bht bht aalaaa
Waqt ke jisam ki kharash hoon main
apne ander se pash pash hoon main
zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin
ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator
Offline
Posts: 5,211
Join Date: Jul 2014
Rep Power: 28
|
22nd November 2014, 10:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maikasH
aadaab yaaraan-e-mehfil
maine pichhle 15-20 saaloN meiN Ghazal ke ilaawa mushkil se do-chaar nazmeN hi likhiiN haiN, yeh un meiN se ek hai, yeh nazm meri ziNdagi aur mere ehsaas-o-tajarbaat ke saath "jawaan" hui hai iska aNdaaza aapko har do misroN ke baad hota jaayega
8-10 saal pehle yahiiN post bhi ki thi lekin us post ke baad aane waale saaloN meiN is rudaad meiN kayi baab jamaa huye, uski mukhtsar suurat bazm ke hawaale kar raha hooN is ummeed ke saath ki shayad kisi kaam ki ho
mulaiiza kijiye :
mere khwaaboN ki jannat ka nazaara haiN teri aaNkheN
hujuum-e-Gham meiN khushiyoN ka ishaara haiN teri aaNkheN
yeh pech-o-kham jo zulfoN ka kabhi maathe pe lehraaye
jabeen-e-arsh pe goya GhaTaa kaali si bal khaaye
teri baateN haiN jaise chaaNd'nii ta'reeKh raatoN meiN
tabassum yeh tera jaise ki sehra meiN ho barsaateiN
tujhe har raNg har aNdaaz meiN maine hasiiN paaya
bohat haiN maahjabiiN dekhe kahiiN tujhsa nahiiN paaya
tu voh tasveer hai jiska mussavir* khud bhi hairaaN hai
tu kya hai khud naeeN tu jaan'ti, haaye!, itni naadaaN hai
*mussavir = Painter
mujhe yeh ilm hai tumne bohat sadme uThaaye haiN
tumhari zeest par haavi Gham-e-dauraaN ke saaye haiN
baRaa jee chahta hai tujhko baahoN meiN chhupa luuN maiN
tere har dard ko apne kalejey se lagaa luuN maiN
tere pairoN ke har kaaNTey ko palkoN se uThaana tha
tere har ashq ko mere laboN ne gul banaana tha
muhabbat tujhse hai "itni" ke maiN batlaa nahiiN sakta
tujhe maiN chaah to sakta huuN lekin paa nahiiN sakta
ummiidoN ke khilonoN se bhi dil behlaa nahiiN sakta
mujhe "ma'loom" hai jaanaaN!....maiN tujhko...... paa nahiiN sakta!
maikash
|
Namaskar maikash ji..
.itne sare jazbaton se saji huyi behtareen nazm...kai rang ek sath nazar aaaye...dil ke kareeb rahi aapki ye nazm... meri taraf se daad kubool kijiye..
अर्ज मेरी एे खुदा क्या सुन सकेगा तू कभी
आसमां को बस इसी इक आस में तकते रहे
madhu..
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
|
|