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Aftaab Sare Baam To Aaye
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zidd
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Aftaab Sare Baam To Aaye - 12th July 2009, 10:01 PM
doston...aadab
meri nayi koshish pesh e kidhmat hai................
beher ka khas dhyan rakha hai.........agar kuch galtiyan hai to aap log bataye
( waise bolna fijul hai....jin logon ko yaha thoda ilm hai beher ke bare me vo yaha se dur rehte hai.........)phir bhi dheet ban kar koi ummeed me darkwast kar deta hu.........

Dushman se kaho mere sar e aam to aaye
zakhmon ke saath saath koi naam to aaye

khul jayega yeh raaz bhi taskeen to rakhiye
sar mere pehle ishq ka ilzaam to aaye

dil tutne ka mujko faqat intezar hai
akhir dil e nakaam kisi kaam to aaye

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

jab chand nikalta hai tum hote ho rubaru
subha se intezar mein hu shaam to aaye

diwangi NA meri kahhi jaye raigaaN
chahat ka meri AB koi inaam to aaye

tum chahe beench do ise raddi ke mol hi
kuch shayri ka meri magar daam to aaye

zidd mai bedar ho jaunga khud aap hi
kambakth aaftab sar e baam to aaye

REGARDS
Last edited by zidd; 12th July 2009 at 10:13 PM..
   
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kwahish
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13th July 2009, 06:36 PM
Wah wah wah..............

Khanna SaheB............

aaj wakai aapne kamal likha hai ........
so superB...... hats of you......

aapki yeh gazal behad umda hai super creation and amazing feelings express by you..

Yunhi likhate rahiye...
aap zaruur ek behtrin shayar ban jayenge..

Likhate rahiye aur khush rahiye..
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naadaan
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13th July 2009, 07:34 PM
Bemisaal Bhaijan.

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

Subhan Allah

Shyam
   
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zidd
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15th July 2009, 02:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwahish View Post
Wah wah wah..............

Khanna SaheB............

aaj wakai aapne kamal likha hai ........
so superB...... hats of you......

aapki yeh gazal behad umda hai super creation and amazing feelings express by you..

Yunhi likhate rahiye...
aap zaruur ek behtrin shayar ban jayenge..

Likhate rahiye aur khush rahiye..
apke ke daad ke liye bahut shukriya.........
koshish to jurur karunga ke agee bhi aise hi daad aap dil se de sakein......
regards
   
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zidd
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15th July 2009, 02:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyamsingh View Post
Bemisaal Bhaijan.

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

Subhan Allah

Shyam
shyam sahab..........
apki hausla afzai ke liye bahut shukriya.........
apko jo sher pasand aaya vo mere liye bi bahut khas sher hai....
teh e dil se shukriya

regards
   
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fezan
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17th July 2009, 10:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chocboy View Post
doston...aadab
meri nayi koshish pesh e kidhmat hai................
beher ka khas dhyan rakha hai.........agar kuch galtiyan hai to aap log bataye
( waise bolna fijul hai....jin logon ko yaha thoda ilm hai beher ke bare me vo yaha se dur rehte hai.........)phir bhi dheet ban kar koi ummeed me darkwast kar deta hu.........

Dushman se kaho mere sar e aam to aaye
zakhmon ke saath saath koi naam to aaye

khul jayega yeh raaz bhi taskeen to rakhiye
sar mere pehle ishq ka ilzaam to aaye

dil tutne ka mujko faqat intezar hai
akhir dil e nakaam kisi kaam to aaye

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

jab chand nikalta hai tum hote ho rubaru
subha se intezar mein hu shaam to aaye

diwangi NA meri kahhi jaye raigaaN
chahat ka meri AB koi inaam to aaye

tum chahe beench do ise raddi ke mol hi
kuch shayri ka meri magar daam to aaye

zidd mai bedar ho jaunga khud aap hi
kambakth aaftab sar e baam to aaye

REGARDS
Zid ji
sabse pehle to aap apna taqallus Zid se badalkar Ziddi kar lijiye..kyonki wo apko zyada suit karega.............................
Apki is ghazal mein kuchh sher baher meiN haiN jaise1,2,3 aur 7 no. ka sher...........
3 no. ka sher aur 7 no. ka sher achha hai....................daad
magar sirf baher mein lafzon ko fit karne se hi sher mukammal nahin hota hai, uska kuchh matlab bhi hona chahiye........jo sabki samajh me aaye........aur pehle aur doosre misron me rabt hona bhi zururi hai.........lafzon ke wazn par bhi tawajjoh dena padegi...........jaise subha,

ek sher apka yun ho sakta hai

diwangi meri kahin jaye NA raigaaN
chahat ka meri AB koi inaam to aaye

aise hi koshish karte rahiye

fezan

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Koi Aisa Kamaal Ho Jaye
Zindigi Be-Misaal Ho Jaye
   
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m.mayoos
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18th July 2009, 11:19 AM
Very well written chocboy, some serious thoughts over there. I am still telling you - 'chocboy' does not do justice to your writing.
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Diya_Jale
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22nd July 2009, 01:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
doston...aadab
meri nayi koshish pesh e kidhmat hai................
beher ka khas dhyan rakha hai.........agar kuch galtiyan hai to aap log bataye
( waise bolna fijul hai....jin logon ko yaha thoda ilm hai beher ke bare me vo yaha se dur rehte hai.........)phir bhi dheet ban kar koi ummeed me darkwast kar deta hu.........

Dushman se kaho mere sar e aam to aaye
zakhmon ke saath saath koi naam to aaye

khul jayega yeh raaz bhi taskeen to rakhiye
sar mere pehle ishq ka ilzaam to aaye

dil tutne ka mujko faqat intezar hai
akhir dil e nakaam kisi kaam to aaye

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

jab chand nikalta hai tum hote ho rubaru
subha se intezar mein hu shaam to aaye

diwangi NA meri kahhi jaye raigaaN
chahat ka meri AB koi inaam to aaye

tum chahe beench do ise raddi ke mol hi
kuch shayri ka meri magar daam to aaye

zidd mai bedar ho jaunga khud aap hi
kambakth aaftab sar e baam to aaye

REGARDS

Ziddi jee,
bahot achhi aur sahi ghazal kaha hai aapne .......is tarah gar aap ghazal kahte rahe to ek din SDC per umda shayaroN ke list mein aapka naam jarur samil ho jayega......

yeh do sher hume jyada pasand aaya

khul jayega yeh raaz bhi taskeen to rakhiye
sar mere pehle ishq ka ilzaam to aaye

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

likhte rahiye khus rahiye

aapki dost
Diya


Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai

Goodbye SDC

Diya
Last edited by Diya_Jale; 22nd July 2009 at 01:42 PM..
   
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Mohammad Kashif
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Thumbs up 22nd July 2009, 02:27 PM
Aadaab Zidd Sahab Bahut khoob gazal pesh ki hai aapne dil ko chu gaya aapka likha ehssas bahut umda lage unhi acchi-2 gazlo se hame rubaru karate rahe khush rahe .........TC

"Do Pal Ruka Khushio.n ka Karwan"


Dunia ke sitam ki koi perwah nahi mujhko,
wo kyoun mujhpe ungliya uthaye ja rahe hain.
Jis shaks ko janta tha ek chehre se ''kashif''
Uske kitne chehre samne laye ja rahe hain.
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nalinmehra
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25th July 2009, 08:07 AM
Ziddi Jee......
Diya, inka naam Zidd_banarsi hai, Ziddi Banarsi nahi hai.....

baharaal, Zidd bhai, gazhal toh apne behad umda likhi hai, aur sach kahun me gazhal ki technicalities, jaise ki beher wagarah ki baare me kuch khas nahi jaanta hun, mera toh ek simple sa usool hai, ki agar gazhal padke uske jazbaat dil ko choo jaaye, toh bas woh ek mukammal gazhal hai.....

aur apki gazhal wakai me, mere dil ko choo gaye, jo sher diya ji ne highlight karein hain, wahi sher mujhe bhi behad pasand aaye.....

yunhi likhte rahiye, aur hamein khubsurat gazlon se wakif karwate rahiye..

apka dost
Nalin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diya_Jale View Post
Ziddi jee,
bahot achhi aur sahi ghazal kaha hai aapne .......is tarah gar aap ghazal kahte rahe to ek din SDC per umda shayaroN ke list mein aapka naam jarur samil ho jayega......

yeh do sher hume jyada pasand aaya

khul jayega yeh raaz bhi taskeen to rakhiye
sar mere pehle ishq ka ilzaam to aaye

khudai ke wujud se inkaar hai kise
par pehle qayamat ka koi anjaam to aaye

likhte rahiye khus rahiye

aapki dost
Diya


Nalin

Uski Har "Uff" pe hum apni jaan lutate rahe,
Uski Shaqsiyat ko karke buland hum khudko mitate rahe,
Raahe-e-mohobbat me hamne kuch yun paya sila wafa ka,
woh dete rahe zakhm pe zakhm aur ham muskurate rahe




Please Honor me and my creative writing by visitng my website @ www.nalin-mehra.blogspot.com
   
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Diya_Jale
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25th July 2009, 02:09 PM
Quote:
Ziddi Jee......
Diya, inka naam Zidd_banarsi hai, Ziddi Banarsi nahi hai.....
Nalin jee,
main janti hun unka id zidd_banarsi.........magar main unko ziddi jee bulati hun
uski wajah bhi hai aur yeh baat ziddi jee jante hain ki unka naam maine zidd se ziddi kyun rakha.......

Nalin tum bhi aaj se Nanli ho


Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz.
Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai

Goodbye SDC

Diya
   
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zidd
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zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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25th July 2009, 02:36 PM
fezan sahab....aadaab
Quote:
Originally Posted by fezan View Post
Zid ji
sabse pehle to aap apna taqallus Zid se badalkar Ziddi kar lijiye..kyonki wo apko zyada suit karega.............................


diyaji ne mere naam ki vo surat to de hi di hai.........ap bhi ab kah rahe hai to ab sochna hoga !!
Apki is ghazal mein kuchh sher baher meiN haiN jaise1,2,3 aur 7 no. ka sher...........

batane ke liye shukriya sahab....ummmed rakhta hu apne aap se ki ab meri koi bhi ghazal bina wazn ke nahin post karu....maine ye than liya hai....ab meri taraf se koi naqis ghazal nahin aayegi....jo ho gaya vo ho gaya.....bhale mai mahine me ek ghazal likh pauu.
3 no. ka sher aur 7 no. ka sher achha hai....................daad

tehe dil se shukriya sahab

magar sirf baher mein lafzon ko fit karne se hi sher mukammal nahin hota hai, uska kuchh matlab bhi hona chahiye........jo sabki samajh me aaye........aur pehle aur doosre misron me rabt hona bhi zururi hai.........lafzon ke wazn par bhi tawajjoh dena padegi...........jaise subha,

sirf meter me lana to maine kab ka seekh liya tha sahab..sdc me aate hi ...
jaisa maone upar likha hai mai mostly beher seekh gaya hu....ab to sirf practice bachi hai....koi koi words ko sahi break nahin kar pata hu isliye kahin kahin meter gadbada jata hu...isliye ap logon se pochta hu.....

ek sher apka yun ho sakta hai

diwangi meri kahin jaye NA raigaaN
chahat ka meri AB koi inaam to aaye


bahut acche ,jo apne change kiya hai..azad misra vo perfect ho gaya hai..
actually dusre misre me jo KO_I ka I Hai vo kacche beher me hai..
agar dusra misra mai aise likhta to shayad sahi eazn me hota magar padne me kharab lagta
'chahat ka meri koi to inaam to aaye'...ye ab sahi beher me lag raha hai mijhe..magar bhadda jurur hai...
ap agee bhi sekhate rahiye..bas yehi gujarish apse

apki surat bahut pasand aayi...
aise hi koshish karte rahiye

fezan
teh e dil se shukriya sahab...
ummed rakhta hu apki rahnumai bani rahegi

regards
Last edited by zidd; 25th July 2009 at 02:39 PM..
   
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